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WHY YOU SHOULDN'T CHECK YOUR PARTNER'S PHONE

1. It makes you into someone you don’t want to be.

Nobody likes the person that they become when they are consumed with waiting for their partner to go to the bathroom so they can pounce on their phone and quickly scroll through texts. Most people want to feel like they are honest people with integrity and self-respect. Nothing is a bigger hit to your self-esteem than snooping around, feeling like you’re a criminal, trying to get information that you know isn’t rightfully yours.

2. It sabotages closeness.

Many relationships never bounce back after one partner confesses to snooping on the other. Even if it turns out that your partner was in fact flirting with someone else, your sneaky behavior often cancels out their flirtation and you lose the moral high ground in your argument. It is very hard for anyone to trust someone who they now realize was going through their private messages, looking for evidence of their misbehavior. This lack of trust may be just as hard to forgive, in many ways, as an uncovered flirtation.

3. It puts you in a weaker position.

When one person snoops on another, it creates an unhealthy power dynamic. When you’re in a position where you feel empowered, you simply don’t sneak around and spy on others. You live your life without worrying about what other people are doing.

But if you become fixated on what your partner is doing rather than what you yourself are doing, you are effectively disavowing your own power and giving it away. This is not a healthy long-term dynamic.