Vicyace:


Haaa...

Wife,

Please can you talk to your husband offline please? Please seek the help of a respected family member or a marriage counsellor.

I would appreciate if you could delete your comment and advice your husband to do the same.

You both can sort this out. Your side of the story is reasonable but nairaland.com comments may do more harm than damage.

Please speak with him and sort this out offline. Not online please.

Many of the comment here will be from people that do not want your happiness or progress.

Once again sort it out offline

2kaybiel:
First of all, you made the big mistake by giving your wife such big amount for upkeep of the family. Women don't know how to manage huge money. They will start off by sending money to families, friends, non-related people.

Danteeee:


And we all had our doubts.. yet she fought, stuck and convinced us to accept him despite numerous decent suitors that came.. and yet this nigga can’t even do same for her.. protect, fight respect and treat her like a wife.. only prefers to abuse her at every slightest opportunity.. my sister now has a long list of book where she calculates every penny and kobo she spends.. made her loose herself confidence and worth.. guy! I swear.. lemme just respect her sanity.. let her heal first..

Ijeoma1187:
This is what I get anytime money comes up

Ijeoma1187:
Mean while his friends kept telling him to caution his wife and some even abused me . So I got angry and said since we are seeking 3rd party opinions maybe I should ask some people as well too, so I asked my brother and forwarded the reply of his friends to him, my brother was like I should tell my husband this is marriage and he should man up and stop seeking 3rd party opinion, that real men don’t discuss their wife’s with their friends and what excatly is he trying to do ?? Make me a bad person before his friends or what , and my brother said real men protect their wife’s and not expose them ... Meanwhile he has been away since July 20th and we don’t have a date he will be back to Nigeria while I am here alone with my baby and not help just me and my daughter, and they started asking me how often do we talk? I said in a month my husband does not even do a video call or voice call with us we just chat and chat and chat and I send. Pictures of our daughter to him that’s all..: so my people became skeptical especially my brother because a particular voice note his friend sent to him about me telling my husband that he should caution me. That was my brothers reply to my husband and her replied my brother to tell him that he is foolish and he has lost his respect for him. Things got out of hand and since I am the last my people asked me to come back home and arrangements are being made to resettle me. So the problem now is my family is angry because my husband abuse me verbally a lot, any small thing he will reign abuses on me that is unspeakable, no family will want this kind of situation for their daughter and my dad also heard and he asked me to come home to meet with their family because the mum has been nice to me and the father and it won’t be nice if I pick my things and go just like that

Please I need advice on how to handle this, I gave my wife the sum of 400k for her and my 2 years old daughter around November and this January she’s already calling to tell me that she’s out of cash and I got worried and started questioning her how she spent such amount on feeding within such a short period of time ,that made us got into serious arguments which lasted for 2 days then I have to ask few married friends if is ok to exhaust such amount of money on feeding within 3 months and they gave me their answers which I sent to my wife too ...Now my wife immediately forwarded same messages to his brother living abroad too and also along with some conversations we had long time ago where she got me angry and insulted her by calling her idiot and stupid ...... His brother got angry and ask her to divorce me and immediately she started packing her belongings,I saw so surprised when she called me that she’s leaving my house ....I also learnt that his brother called his friend living in Abuja too to go and drag her out of my house if she doesn’t want to go ...... So I was so surprised when she asked me where to drop my keys I have to start begging her to calm down but she insisted that his family wants her to go ,then I have to call her mother and explained my own part of the story but the mother said there is nothing she can do since her siblings wants her to go . Now the problem is that my wife doesn’t want to go anymore but she doesn’t have the courage to tell her family that we have settled our misunderstand and doesn’t want to go anymore . She wants me to start calling every member of her family including her father to apologize and reassure them my love towards her again but to me I don’t know how to start the conversation with the father more especially because i believe having issues in marriage is normal and everyone understands that fact and since I have made up with her is their any need calling her family again

NB: They brother in abroad gave me the insult of life by sending a message to my wife which she also forwarded to me by calling me all sorts of names like immature and childish husband, and this same guy is of the same age bracket with me. Plz I need ur candid advice don’t mind my English and typos.

She said if I don’t call his Father and apologize to him that she will still go to her house even though we have settled our misunderstanding that she still have to go until I apologize to the father and reassure him that I still love her daughter.

Danteeee:

Nwanne no talk Wetin u no sabi.. sustain the moral weh u dey give ooh.. one love!

Ijeoma1187:
Remove this thing pls... now see what my brother sent to me ..

Ijeoma1187:
This is what I get anytime money comes up

Ijeoma1187:
This is what I get anytime money comes up

Ijeoma1187:
This is what I get anytime money comes up

martin231:
Initially I did not to comment after my post, I only wanted to read but now i have to....Well, I think most of y’ll here got it all wrong I didn’t come to Nairaland to fight her or make her start feeling bad again ,I begged her promised not to verbally abuse her again that was after she forwarded me the messages she have been saving on her phone , those words was actually September 2019 but she saved all of it on her phone and i was surprised when she forwarded all of it to me this January and I begged her and gave her my word not to repeat it again , also y’ll should know that something actually triggered those words even though she didn’t post that part here, but still nothing to justify myself for saying those words to her.......Like I said, I begged her and made up with her, so we sure not fighting more ...... So the reasons why I actually came to nairaland was to seek if there is need calling her father since i have not gotten any calls from him about what happened , so to me I think he sees it as normal thing that comes with young marriage. In Quote for those that did not understand “ Now the problem is that my wife doesn’t want to go anymore but she doesn’t have the courage to tell her family that we have settled our misunderstand and doesn’t want to go anymore . She wants me to start calling every member of her family including her father to apologize and reassure them my love towards her again but to me I don’t know how to start the conversation with the father more especially because i believe having issues in marriage is normal and everyone understands that fact and since I have made up with her is their any need calling her family again“ Also why i mentioned about the money part was coz i wanted people to understand the gravity of the misunderstanding that is not really something serious...... All I wanted was advice or how to start conversations with the Father since I and my wife have already made up because she keep insisting that I should call the father, if not she will leave but sadly I don’t know what to him” ( Like should I tell him that I had a fight with my wife and we have made up? That I just wanted to tell him that we had a fight but we’re fine now? �) My captions says it all “I’m inexperienced “

She said if I don’t call his Father and apologize to him that she will still go to her house even though we have settled our misunderstanding that she still have to go until I apologize to the father and reassure him that I still love her daughter.

Ijeoma1187:
Should I continue to let the cat out of the bag?? It’s really not nice when you come here to make other people look bad .... since your pride won’t let you call my dad. Well Tuesday I am leaving.... how will you marry a woman just for one year and leave without even calling and speaking to them, are you just satisfied with seeing pictures of your baby?? Just picture..... well it’s so sad since we have started this remember my brothers too are on nairaland I will tell them to come and read as well .. you have come to seek 3rd party opinion.... in all these mess I never told my people or involved anybody but you keep telling people is this how you want to handle your family.... I am really really angry imagine him seeking 3rd party opinion from him divorced friend whose marriage didn’t last up to a year...: be there and watch me go, in all honesty I have tried as a woman and you won’t find any woman like me

Centrallock:
Ijeoma1187 you must be the nagging type, posting those WhatsApp chats and all is for what exactly? To be pitted i guess, from who? Online user's, nairalandlers? That's pathetic and mind you no marriage is made in heaven, every man has his weaknesses, some cant abuse you but will ridicule you emotionally, some won't ridicule you but cheat on you massively infant no need typing much. But leaving your home will not make you any good based on this issue, secondary am suprised at the type of family you have. How can you father and parents expect you and ask you to come home especially your dad without giving this young man any opportunity to correct his bullshit. Your husband is an emotional idiot who is controlled by his emotions and not his senses, is your dad a saint? Are your brothers saint?, every man has once in a while stepped out of place. Now the only thing i can tell you is if you cant for the sake of your child make peace in your home as the neck of the family then you clearly should not have been in marriage in the first place. And if you eventually pack out your husband will freely adapt to the society not you regardless of what your parents says and brothers they will not be there for your at all time, and once you start giving them responsibilities expect them to complain. Let your brothers allow you to face your challenges at home.
I wish i cant qoute that your immature husband who has given away his power and masculinity for the sake of emotions and insecurities that nigga needs to sound slap.
But i will still write this here so you can see incase you somehow gets to have a glance at this,
Men dont argue with a woman, in arguments women are always 100 and 1% right. Secondary when in marriage any money you give to your woman count it as a loss in other words if you have 400k to give start by giving it bit by bit cause surely demands must come, even you as a man spends more than budgeted sometimes not to talk of women, and for the sake of christ stop abusing your wife nigga, what will abusing her add to you? Do you think you can have abusive words more than her if she decides to engage you on one? Why on earth will you tell you friends shit about your wife can you defend her in the cause of insults from them? Friends are not your family dude, and how ever you wish to handle your marriage always remember misunderstand is guaranteed how you handle it is what makes you a man and earns you respect not your rants and abuses. Know the difference between pride and taking responsibilities. As a man you must know that your wife should be your priority because a happy wife is a happy home. Anything else friends her brothers and father is all distraction focus on your wife.

martin231:
Initially I did not want to comment after my post, I only wanted to read but now i have to....Well, I think most of y’ll here got it all wrong I didn’t come to Nairaland to fight her or make her start feeling bad again ,I begged her promised not to verbally abuse her again that was after she forwarded me the messages she have been saving on her phone , those words was actually September 2019 but she saved all of it on her phone and i was surprised when she forwarded all of it to me this January and I begged her and gave her my word not to repeat it again , also y’ll should know that something actually triggered those words even though she didn’t post that part here, but still nothing to justify myself for saying those words to her.......Like I said, I begged her and made up with her, so we sure not fighting more ...... So the reasons why I actually came to nairaland is to seek if there is need calling her father since i have not gotten any calls from him about what happened (My Father in-law) in Quote for those that did not understand “ Now the problem is that my wife doesn’t want to go anymore but she doesn’t have the courage to tell her family that we have settled our misunderstand and doesn’t want to go anymore . She wants me to start calling every member of her family including her father to apologize and reassure them my love towards her again but to me I don’t know how to start the conversation with the father more especially because i believe having issues in marriage is normal and everyone understands that fact and since I have made up with her is their any need calling her family again“ Also why i mentioned about the money part was coz i wanted people to understand the gravity of the misunderstanding that is not really something serious...... All I wanted was advice or how to start conversations with the Father since I and my wife have already made up because she keep insisting that I should call the father, if not she will leave but sadly I don’t know what to him” ( Like should I tell him that I had a fight with my wife and we have made up? That I just wanted to tell him that we had a fight but we’re fine now? �) My captions says it all “I’m inexperienced “

Vyolet:
Every part of the story is included.
Husband's part
Wife's part
Inlaw's part.
Who's side will you be on?