TonyeBarcanista:

But in this case they don't! Wives should get used to the fact that not many men are stupid to abandon their relatives just to satisfy their selfish and egoistic desires

It's your mindset that's making you relate 'pls don't come stay in my house' with 'I've abandoned you'. And I'll say it again, any family member that has an issue with this is not worth it.

Doveyvia:


My husband said she'll be going to school from home, so, I'll have to put up with her for about 4 more years

Call get by her name. That's y I love whites, they don't give a hoot about such petty things.

elantraceey:


It's your mindset that's making you relate 'pls don't come stay in my house' with 'I've abandoned you'. And I'll say it again, any family member that has an issue with this is not worth it.

This one na story for the gods!

ahnie:

Hello boo boo ...didn't received my Val gift

In the oza room oooo

TrendsSecurity:
If you're not Yoruba, you can not understand this lady's plight. Forget that the lady is not helping with house chores, you see that addressing by the first name and she can't address her by her first name cos she's 'Iya Oko' can be very painful. Imagine, a secondary school leaver o! She's so insolent. What I see is that the problem is with the husband. I can't let anyone disrespect my wife like that, it's bad

She definitely isn't yoruba. No Yoruba person will ever dare to call their senior brother's wife by name. I have never witnessed that, even if they were mates.

Doveyvia:


So, it's cool I call her aunty while she doesn't reciprocate? No problem.

Stop calling her Aunty especially since she has chosen not to give you your own respect.

RisenPhoenix:






To the op's culture it is a sign of disrespect. The SIL also considers it is a sign of disrespect and is doing it deliberately. The op's husband also considers it a sign of disrespect and is permitting it. The point is that the op feels disrespected in her home. Whether your culture considers it as disrespectful or not is not relevant, nor is it a meaningless complaint. Intelligent and open minded people tend to be accomodating and tolerant and understand that what is considered acceptable in one culture may be very much unacceptable in another. Address the issue not your prejudice.

@skyfornia with your close minded attitude I predict you will soon have no clients. The real illiterate is the one who still doesn't have a multi cultural understanding of the world despite the presence of the internet.

so apt.

Some of them try too hard to sound intelligent but only end up portraying their foolishness.

IMO, Op should stop calling her aunty. Respect is reciprocal. simple!

You don't get? She's calling her Aunty and the SiL is addressing her by her first name. It's nothing in the western world, but let's face it, this is Africa, everybody will be calling her a bad wife if she start addressing her by her first name too even when she;s several years older [i][/i ]and married to her brother!

Skyfornia:


What is the benefit of calling you aunty? Please I really want to know...call her aunty too

Doveyvia:
Good morning Nairalanders,
I've been married for 2yrs and have a son for my husband, before marriage, I made it clear to my husband I didn't want live-in in-laws which he agreed to, after marriage, he brought his sister IN, thought she was staying a few days or a week max but she's been with us for over 5 months and doesn't look like she's going anywhere, I'm no longer comfortable cause she's disrespectful, she never calls me by my son's name, she calls me my name even though she's aware we're not mates in all ramifications, but as my husband's sister, I respect her but I'm thinking I should start calling her by her first name too, or, what do you guys suggest?

In addition, she doesn't help with anything in the house, she just sleeps and eats, she just registered for this year's jamb.

You see this idea if not wanting your inlaws to live with you doesn't work

As for her calling you your name, whenever you are with your hubby and she calls or you ate pissed off, tell her in the presence of your hubby that you don't like the way she addresses you by your name, despite you are not mates, you did prefer she calls you by your son's name

As for her attitude, over look her by not sending her any messages, you can't chase her away but make her uncomfortable in that house if you think her presence is not needful

Make sure you don't over labour yourself at home to please her, hubby can make use of her when you are tired in the other domestic chores

But instead of you to have issues with her, put it on hubby so that he will feel the impact

But if you can tolerate her pls do, they are one of the things you come in marriage

Remember you have children and they will visit them in future

So face hubby not her