Lordsview:
Looking at the circumstances that surround the issue at hand,some of the people blaming you are more than guilty of the same offence,but the first thing to do is to seek for forgiveness from God,if you're sincere,the Lord will surely touch and humble the heart of your husband.
Secondly,either your sister keep mute or not,there is nothing kept in secret that will not be exposed,so,confess to your husband,if he has a pastor he respect so much, kindly plead with him to intercede on your behalf.The ground of whereby he had two issue while you were not with him is a loop hole that favours you.
Lastly,it is better to do so fast,so that your sister will not use your lapses to score points.Shalom.

Jceeee:

Thank you , the biological is well aware of the child , he had seen her many times when we moved back home but he relocated to Canada when she was 2 since then I had no contact with
him

Jceeee:
Hello everybody ,
I came here to seek for advice because I’m in a big dilemma with my kid sister , I don’t want to bore you with long story I will make the long story short.
I got married in May 2000 I was pregnant with my first child , I had my first child in September that same year then another daughter in 2002 May , and in July 2002 my husband left for abroad ( I won’t mention the country ) .

I had to move out of the renting apartment and went back to my parents house with my 2 children while waiting for him to apply for our documents, it took him 2 years to settle and for 2 year he couldn’t send us money because he had no documents and job.

My parents were supportive until when my husband got his documents and started working , he started sending us money every month and was working hard for me and the kids to join him but things were not working well for us , they keep rejecting us but he didn’t get tired of us , but I started getting tired after 5 years of waiting, missing him badly , no intimacy and I was lonely and very depressed.

I start seeking attention outside and I met with a married man that I had a relationship with, I got pregnant in 2008 the man suggested abortion but I didn’t want to abort because I was scared to die because I remember a cousin that had a husband abroad , she got pregnant and went to abort , she died instantly so I didn’t want to end up like her .

I had planned with my sister and mum that I should leave our state to another state ( I won’t mention the name ) to go and have my baby then will come back after the baby is 3 months , I and my kid sister left and rented another house in a different state meanwhile we lied to my dad that I had traveled to this country to join my husband in abroad , things was well.

I had my baby another girl in 2009 and we kept the secret for 3 months from my dad and we had to lie to him , it was my kid sister that has given birth to this baby while we were away and my dad got angry at her and he has said a lot of harsh things to her, it was very painful but my sister supported me and didn’t let the secret come out , even to my husband he just knew the baby was my sister , because I was breastfeeding her , we didn’t want to go home yet so we had to stayed here for a year , when I weaned her and we started preparing to go back home, lying to my dad that things didn’t work out and I couldn’t join my husband anymore, we returned back home in 2010 and we had been keeping this secrets from my dad , husband and other people .

Finally God has been great that I had to joined my husband in 2013 after 11 years of waiting , it was a wonderful time to be with him again , my kid sister got married in 2014 she had a daughter with her husband before marriage born in 2012, so the husband accepted her with my daughter that she pretend to be hers , she went to her husband house , leaving my kids with our parents , she only took the daughter she had with her husband and I used to send them money as usual until in 2015 my 2 daughters I had with my husband joined us abroad and my other daughter stayed behind , I had to convinced my husband that my sister baby should join us too which he was okay and grateful to my sister because she had been the one taking care of our children in my absent so we started applying for documents for the girl, but they kept rejecting it but we didn’t give up, at that same time my sister has also wanted her biological daughter to be included in but I was frank with her that we couldn’t add her daughter because the daughter that I had is known to be hers so if we had another daughter it would be wrong , so this has caused a lot of problems between my sister and I that she called me an ingrate after everything she has been doing to me , but I was never ungrateful to her because I take care of her daughter school fees in a best private school but I just couldn’t take her abroad with us but she is adamant that her daughter should be here too.

Luckily my daughter which to my husband is my niece has joined us this January 2020 , she knows me as her auntie and my sister her mummy , She is doing well my family is complete , I have also had 2 more children with my husband two cute boys but my sister has been threatening and blackmailing that she would tell my husband everything about my daughter , I had begged even our mum has been begging her not to spoil my marriage but she wouldn’t listen.

I’m scared she would tell my husband and my marriage will be over. I don’t sleep well and anytime when my husband get back from work , my heart beat faster thinking that he has found out about the secrets and I’m no longer in peace. he loves my niece ( daughter ) so much that he doesn’t treat her any different from our 4 children but I’m getting so scared , have been taking blood pressure medication because of my sister threatening me.

Please I know a lot of you would insult me because I deserve it but all I need is advice from you .

please if you could offer me some , I just don’t know what else to do

Munzy14:
Women.....smh...

Fear who no fear them.

Hhansome:
Hello ma'am. You are just an evil woman hiding under some fake moniker just to attract some fake sympathy on this forum. Unfortunately i'm going to say it the exact way without fear... How on earth does a mother deny her child? Not actually the man but a mother who carried her child of nine months. Save me the crap, you want to save your marriage! Did you not consider it before opening your stupid legs? Anyways i dont waste my advice on evil people... Check on next comments abeg.

lilyheaven:
Hian! How can you be afraid of abortion, and you were not afraid of adultery .

Jceeee:

Her father and his wife has relocated to Canada , When she was 2 , I had no contact with him since. Bringing her biological daughter won’t be possible because we had already done her a favour by bringing my daughter who’s my husband knows that it’s her child , I don’t think my husband would agreed to take another one because taking my daughter here has already caused a lot of problem in my husband family , they are not happy that he has bought my niece abroad while his sister children are still in Nigeria , my sister in law has stopped talking to me. I work and do everything for my sister child making sure she is getting the best education ever , still she is not satisfied and want her daughter to come abroad

madridguy:
Time registered: February 22, 2020

Nairaland is now a place where the admin hire writers to write different lies just to drag traffic

Jceeee:
..... .o this has caused a lot of problems between my sister and I that she called me an ingrate after everything she has been doing to me but I was never ungrateful to her because I take care of her daughter school fees in a best private school but I just couldn’t take her abroad with us but she is adamant that her daughter should be here too.

People like me don't forget things so easily especially if the person who said that interests me.
Have u forgotten u have mentioned severally in the past u were a lawyer?
So u were lying then?

Jceeee:
Hello everybody ,
I came here to seek for advice because I’m in a big dilemma with my kid sister , I don’t want to bore you with long story I will make the long story short.
I got married in May 2000 I was pregnant with my first child , I had my first child in September that same year then another daughter in 2002 May , and in July 2002 my husband left for abroad ( I won’t mention the country ) .

I had to move out of the renting apartment and went back to my parents house with my 2 children while waiting for him to apply for our documents, it took him 2 years to settle and for 2 year he couldn’t send us money because he had no documents and job.

My parents were supportive until when my husband got his documents and started working , he started sending us money every month and was working hard for me and the kids to join him but things were not working well for us , they keep rejecting us but he didn’t get tired of us , but I started getting tired after 5 years of waiting, missing him badly , no intimacy and I was lonely and very depressed.

I start seeking attention outside and I met with a married man that I had a relationship with, I got pregnant in 2008 the man suggested abortion but I didn’t want to abort because I was scared to die because I remember a cousin that had a husband abroad , she got pregnant and went to abort , she died instantly so I didn’t want to end up like her .

I had planned with my sister and mum that I should leave our state to another state ( I won’t mention the name ) to go and have my baby then will come back after the baby is 3 months , I and my kid sister left and rented another house in a different state meanwhile we lied to my dad that I had traveled to this country to join my husband in abroad , things was well.

I had my baby another girl in 2009 and we kept the secret for 3 months from my dad and we had to lie to him , it was my kid sister that has given birth to this baby while we were away and my dad got angry at her and he has said a lot of harsh things to her, it was very painful but my sister supported me and didn’t let the secret come out , even to my husband he just knew the baby was my sister , because I was breastfeeding her , we didn’t want to go home yet so we had to stayed here for a year , when I weaned her and we started preparing to go back home, lying to my dad that things didn’t work out and I couldn’t join my husband anymore, we returned back home in 2010 and we had been keeping this secrets from my dad , husband and other people .

Finally God has been great that I had to joined my husband in 2013 after 11 years of waiting , it was a wonderful time to be with him again , my kid sister got married in 2014 she had a daughter with her husband before marriage born in 2012, so the husband accepted her with my daughter that she pretend to be hers , she went to her husband house , leaving my kids with our parents , she only took the daughter she had with her husband and I used to send them money as usual until in 2015 my 2 daughters I had with my husband joined us abroad and my other daughter stayed behind , I had to convinced my husband that my sister baby should join us too which he was okay and grateful to my sister because she had been the one taking care of our children in my absent so we started applying for documents for the girl, but they kept rejecting it but we didn’t give up, at that same time my sister has also wanted her biological daughter to be included in but I was frank with her that we couldn’t add her daughter because the daughter that I had is known to be hers so if we had another daughter it would be wrong , so this has caused a lot of problems between my sister and I that she called me an ingrate after everything she has been doing to me , but I was never ungrateful to her because I take care of her daughter school fees in a best private school but I just couldn’t take her abroad with us but she is adamant that her daughter should be here too.

Luckily my daughter which to my husband is my niece has joined us this January 2020 , she knows me as her auntie and my sister her mummy , She is doing well my family is complete , I have also had 2 more children with my husband two cute boys but my sister has been threatening and blackmailing that she would tell my husband everything about my daughter , I had begged even our mum has been begging her not to spoil my marriage but she wouldn’t listen.

I’m scared she would tell my husband and my marriage will be over. I don’t sleep well and anytime when my husband get back from work , my heart beat faster thinking that he has found out about the secrets and I’m no longer in peace. he loves my niece ( daughter ) so much that he doesn’t treat her any different from our 4 children but I’m getting so scared , have been taking blood pressure medication because of my sister threatening me.

Please I know a lot of you would insult me because I deserve it but all I need is advice from you .

please if you could offer me some , I just don’t know what else to do

Jceeee:
let me add this : for those 11 years I waited for him , he has also had 2 children here , a girl born in 2006 and a boy 2010 but I didn’t know about those children until when I joined him in 2013. He has only told me about the boy born in 2010 buy he never told me about the girl born in 2006 , so I came to found out about the girl in 2018 via Facebook when the mother of the girl who is an African but not Nigerian messaged me on Facebook with the girl photo , she looks exactly like my husband in everything and she and my first daughter look alike too , I confronted my husband he did not denied he has told me if he had documents in this country , it was because of the girl because after having lots of rejection things were hard that’s why he decided to cheat on me and get the lady pregnant and after the daughter was born , he and the mother went to claiming that he now have a child born in this country so he was allow to get his documents through the child. After getting documents the mother started making his life miserable and he has to leave her and child and never looked back to her. I know him having children outside of our marriage is forgivable which I had also forgive him but I know when he found out about mine , he wouldn’t be the same , he will make it looks so bad forgetting that he has done the same which I forgive and forget about it.

daclemx:


Madam, pray and make your husband promise and even sign undertaken that you will tell him something and he won't feel bad about it. Then go ahead and tell him. Las las, he will find out and that will break your marriage. You should also be ready for the worse. But there's nothing prayers cannot do. You made a mistake. You can even tell him the man forced you, and you were in your most vulnerable state because you hadn't been touched by anyone. Your system will eventually blow your cover.

PharoahIII:
If ever there's a man in doubt as to the callousness and wickedness that lies buried deep in a woman's heart, look no further than this. Let me add quickly that even the devil himself cannot be this selfish and heartless. Now I understand why the devil is a man and not a woman, it would have been too bad, just too bad if he were a woman. It is a lot better to fill up a basket with water than to put your trust in a woman.

victorix:


Can you stay without sex for 11years? Don't blame the lady. She did wrong, fine. And she's only human. The man is also wrong. She should just tell her husband the truth and see if they could work things out.

madridguy:
Time registered: February 22, 2020

Nairaland is now a place where the admin hire writers to write different lies just to drag traffic

ShipChina2naija:
Person wey no see her husband for almost 11years,,una no want her to sort herself out sexually ,,.. Its only when you find yourself in same situation you criticized others for..then you understand why most times you need to be rational in judging people....

Dear op,,pick yourself up,,no go think die.na pickin you born just the way your husband also gave birth while being away.,,Explain everything to your husband..you are not gonna die,,any modaf*cker in your situation would do what you've done....and to your sister that wants to blackmail you,,she can go fu*ck herself.. Since she doesn't wanna think like human being.all because she covered you. ..let her do her worst ..just make sure you got something doing to take care of yourself....

What i dont understand is if the people insulting you wanted you to re-virginise for 11years without sex like your hubby wasn't fuc*king someone else where he was.... All of you raining insult on her are very stupid...

madridguy:
Time registered: February 22, 2020

Nairaland is now a place where the admin hire writers to write different lies just to drag traffic

72Morale:
I pray everyday not to meet a creature like you till I leave this earth.

If you are a man reading this.

May almighty God guide and protect you from marrying an inpatient woman who will be wayward and unfaithful enough to sleep around, getting pregnant for various men and deceiving you by making you raise a child that isn't yours unknowingly.

May you never marry a woman who will be busy thinking about sex and diiick while you are busy suffering hard on how to take care of her and make her and your kids happy.

Jceeee:
let me add this : for those 11 years I waited for him , he has also had 2 children here , a girl born in 2006 and a boy 2010 but I didn’t know about those children until when I joined him in 2013. He has only told me about the boy born in 2010 buy he never told me about the girl born in 2006 , so I came to found out about the girl in 2018 via Facebook when the mother of the girl who is an African but not Nigerian messaged me on Facebook with the girl photo , she looks exactly like my husband in everything and she and my first daughter look alike too , I confronted my husband he did not denied he has told me if he had documents in this country , it was because of the girl because after having lots of rejection things were hard that’s why he decided to cheat on me and get the lady pregnant and after the daughter was born , he and the mother went to claiming that he now have a child born in this country so he was allow to get his documents through the child. After getting documents the mother started making his life miserable and he has to leave her and child and never looked back to her. I know him having children outside of our marriage is forgivable which I had also forgive him but I know when he found out about mine , he wouldn’t be the same , he will make it looks so bad forgetting that he has done the same which I forgive and forget about it.