My hand has been itching me these past few days, and I decided the cure was to make a post. On a normal, this post should be in the funny section but 'Forum Games' looked too open, so I brought it to Romance section since it has to do with love. So, here it is.

Disclaimer: No bashing, insults, tribalism, nepotism or general bribery and corruption on this post. This post was created to be satirical.

What I want in a spouse? Most times, we get scolded and called childish for stating what we want in a spouse, but truly, natural selection is, well, natural and hence must be imbibed whether consciously or subconsciously (lol). In this thread, you are expected to list what you want in a spouse no matter how unattainable it might be. Viewers are allowed to laugh and point out why such desires are unattainable, but with wisdom and sound advice.

Let's relieve stress by laughing over each other's list, shall we? I'll go first.

My list:

1) He must be taller than me, preferably between 6'2 and 6'5: I'm 6'0 tall already, and I have plans to wear heels on my wedding day. Bending down to kiss a shorter man will stress me biko

2) He must be above average but not too wealthy: I don't have your hustling spirit so my take-home every month will probably pale in comparison to yours. Pity me small and don't have too much money. I love debating a lot, giving opinions and whatnots, and since money shuts up blabbing mouth, my opinions would be neglected.

3) His tallness should be dominant in our kids: Considering the nonsense going on in this country, it's safe to say nobody should raise their kids here. Why I'm stressing on the height trait is because I want them to play sports, preferably basketball. Since me and hubby already gave them height, that's the only career choice for them. Unless they want to use their height in football, then I may change their mind.

4) He must be overambitious to leave this country: I cannot stress this enough. We cannot raise our family in this zoo. Hubby, have enough ambition for both of us, ejoor. I'm too much of a procrastinator to even push to leave this place. 'We die here' is worrying me.

5) He can be fair; curly hair is a bonus: Since our kids will have British citizenship, let them blend with the other kids too. I can already imagine obsessing over them and flaunting their pics on social media. I can even claim biracial kids and nobody will doubt me

6) No pot-belly, no midnight newspaper: Self-explanatory, ño?

7) The average the dick, the better: Please, hubby, it's not borehole you're coming to drill , so no need for the long drill. We'll find a way to derive satisfaction together with the normal length.

What do you think?

Ps: Don't ask me what I'm bringing to the table until you have everything on the list.

Just a virgin lady, I'm good.

NextD18:
Just a virgin lady, I'm good.

I don't believe you.

What about things like
Cantakerous character?
Broke and lazy?
Serial cheat just waiting for one man to open the package before flying off the lid? etc

Sixfeetbelle:


I don't believe you.

What about things like
Cantakerous character?
Broke and lazy?
Serial cheat just waiting for one man to open the package before flying off the lid? etc

A lady that got married a virgin cannot cheat.

I said it!

NextD18:

A lady that got married a virgin cannot cheat.

I said it!

Lmao

If you believe it, no problem.

NextD18:

A lady that got married a virgin cannot cheat.

I said it!

lol wisdom no go kill u but anyway world hv change she go shock u

Sixfeetbelle:
My hand has been itching me these past few days, and I decided the cure was to make a post. On a normal, this post should be in the funny section but 'Forum Games' looked too open, so I brought it to Romance section since it has to do with love. So, here it is.

Disclaimer: No bashing, insults, tribalism, nepotism or general bribery and corruption on this post. This post was created to be satirical.

What I want in a spouse? Most times, we get scolded and called childish for stating what we want in a spouse, but truly, natural selection is, well, natural and hence must be imbibed whether consciously or subconsciously (lol). In this thread, you are expected to list what you want in a spouse no matter how unattainable it might be. Viewers are allowed to laugh and point out why such desires are unattainable, but with wisdom and sound advice.

Let's relieve stress by laughing over each other's list, shall we? I'll go first.

My list:

1) He must be taller than me, preferably between 6'2 and 6'5: I'm 6'0 tall already, and I have plans to wear heels on my wedding day. Bending down to kiss a shorter man will stress me biko

2) He must be above average but not too wealthy: I don't have your hustling spirit so my take-home every month will probably pale in comparison to yours. Pity me small and don't have too much money. I love debating a lot, giving opinions and whatnots, and since money shuts up blabbing mouth, my opinions would be neglected.

3) His tallness should be dominant in our kids: Considering the nonsense going on in this country, it's safe to say nobody should raise their kids here. Why I'm stressing on the height trait is because I want them to play sports, preferably basketball. Since me and hubby already gave them height, that's the only career choice for them. Unless they want to use their height in football, then I may change their mind.

4) He must be overambitious to leave this country: I cannot stress this enough. We cannot raise our family in this zoo. Hubby, have enough ambition for both of us, ejoor. I'm too much of a procrastinator to even push to leave this place. 'We die here' is worrying me.

5) He can be fair; curly hair is a bonus: Since our kids will have British citizenship, let them blend with the other kids too. I can already imagine obsessing over them and flaunting their pics on social media. I can even claim biracial kids and nobody will doubt me

6) No pot-belly, no midnight newspaper: Self-explanatory, ño?

7) The average the dick, the better: Please, hubby, it's not borehole you're coming to drill , so no need for the long drill. We'll find a way to derive satisfaction together with the normal length.

What do you think?

Ps: Don't ask me what I'm bringing to the table until you have everything on the list.

i refuse to agree oo wat r u bringing to the able we need no first after all we are bringing u to d houz and giving u a new name nd we dnt do dat anyhow u gat to b special to get dat lots of ppl r trying to it by hook or crook .....

Blah blah blah.

TRASH
Continue Dreaming

Well I told you before that I'm 6ft+,hehehe...

Well mine ain't much,just a lady with bigs legs who knows how to do business.
I hustle onboard ship and wouldn't mind giving her my monthly pay if she's good in investing.
And talk about raising kids outta the zoo,hell yeah!!!!!

But 'belle,it gonna be nice for us to see ya pic.

Sixfeetbelle:
My hand has been itching me these past few days, and I decided the cure was to make a post. On a normal, this post should be in the funny section but 'Forum Games' looked too open, so I brought it to Romance section since it has to do with love. So, here it is.

Disclaimer: No bashing, insults, tribalism, nepotism or general bribery and corruption on this post. This post was created to be satirical.

What I want in a spouse? Most times, we get scolded and called childish for stating what we want in a spouse, but truly, natural selection is, well, natural and hence must be imbibed whether consciously or subconsciously (lol). In this thread, you are expected to list what you want in a spouse no matter how unattainable it might be. Viewers are allowed to laugh and point out why such desires are unattainable, but with wisdom and sound advice.

Let's relieve stress by laughing over each other's list, shall we? I'll go first.

My list:

1) He must be taller than me, preferably between 6'2 and 6'5: I'm 6'0 tall already, and I have plans to wear heels on my wedding day. Bending down to kiss a shorter man will stress me biko

2) He must be above average but not too wealthy: I don't have your hustling spirit so my take-home every month will probably pale in comparison to yours. Pity me small and don't have too much money. I love debating a lot, giving opinions and whatnots, and since money shuts up blabbing mouth, my opinions would be neglected.

3) His tallness should be dominant in our kids: Considering the nonsense going on in this country, it's safe to say nobody should raise their kids here. Why I'm stressing on the height trait is because I want them to play sports, preferably basketball. Since me and hubby already gave them height, that's the only career choice for them. Unless they want to use their height in football, then I may change their mind.

4) He must be overambitious to leave this country: I cannot stress this enough. We cannot raise our family in this zoo. Hubby, have enough ambition for both of us, ejoor. I'm too much of a procrastinator to even push to leave this place. 'We die here' is worrying me.

5) He can be fair; curly hair is a bonus: Since our kids will have British citizenship, let them blend with the other kids too. I can already imagine obsessing over them and flaunting their pics on social media. I can even claim biracial kids and nobody will doubt me

6) No pot-belly, no midnight newspaper: Self-explanatory, ño?

7) The average the dick, the better: Please, hubby, it's not borehole you're coming to drill , so no need for the long drill. We'll find a way to derive satisfaction together with the normal length.

What do you think?

Ps: Don't ask me what I'm bringing to the table until you have everything on the list.

Your wishes are good, very very good.


But Madam!!!....... YOU GO SOON UNDERSTAND AS E DEY GO

Quite a reasonable list, grounded on reality. But when has men become midnight newspaper ? that part got me. I think say our own derogatory word a being broke, but midnight newspaper ? Na so e worse reach lol

I want a man who has all of the qualities you listed though he I'm not setting a bar on the amount of money he can have.
This one that petite ladies don thief all our tall fine guys. I love tall guys o even though I'm 6'1

NextD18:

A lady that got married a virgin cannot cheat.

I said it!

Yeah so I believe but I also believe you should not subject her to situation that will make her cheat

OP you are alaseju

pansophist:
Quite a reasonable list, grounded on reality. But when has men become midnight newspaper ? that part got me. I think say our own derogatory word a being broke, but midnight newspaper ? Na so e worse reach lol

It's not my fault ooh. Nairaland taught me that language

There was a thread where a man said he was 40 and wanted to marry a girl of 20, and someone aptly pointed out that's he's already midnight newspaper yet no guy was saying such. And I found out it was true

Zoie:
I want a man who has all of the qualities you listed though he I'm not setting a bar on the amount of money he can have.
This one that petite ladies don thief all our tall fine guys. I love tall guys o even though I'm 6'1

The money situation was so that unnecessary arguments don't arise because we can't afford house rent or school fees. Even he won't be happy if he isn't stable enough to support his family, I believe.

But all good with your wishes too. Reality will always have a way of bringing us flat on our bum

OlawaleBammie:




Your wishes are good, very very good.


But Madam!!!....... YOU GO SOON UNDERSTAND AS E DEY GO

Thank you.

Iceberg3:
Well I told you before that I'm 6ft+,hehehe...

Well mine ain't much,just a lady with bigs legs who knows how to do business.
I hustle onboard ship and wouldn't mind giving her my monthly pay if she's good in investing.
And talk about raising kids outta the zoo,hell yeah!!!!!

But 'belle,it gonna be nice for us to see ya pic.

I love your list. But I'm confused about the bold.

To see my pic: this isn't a matchmaking thread

NextD18:

A lady that got married a virgin cannot cheat.

I said it!

Correct. 100%

PrinzCarter:
i refuse to agree oo wat r u bringing to the able we need no first after all we are bringing u to d houz and giving u a new name nd we dnt do dat anyhow u gat to b special to get dat lots of ppl r trying to it by hook or crook .....

Do you have everything on the list?


Don't you know how marketing companies work best? Give you the mouth-watering part first to lure you in before hitting you with the T and Cs.

Point is, it's a gamble, not a reality. As you can see, I am building castles in the air yet taking certain factors into consideration.

jawalis:
Blah blah blah.

TRASH
Continue Dreaming

Even given an opportunity to laugh and make jokes, you still try to project hate. If you read carefully, you would see I never said this was my reality.

But, Thank you.

I want an intelligent woman. Just know how to do business, be money conscious, how to deal with figures, profit and loss, income and expenditure, business acumen. I'm a resident doc now will be a consultant in time to come and I know how to get paid. I get paid always main hustle, side hustle but manage money or invest na problem. We will never lack money but we may never get wealthy if we don't invest. A virgin is a bonus or just not more than 5 intercourses. Mine is uncountable anyway so we go align. I want an adventurous woman, someone that can plan vacation, a play station console gamer, I want Junior and Imade to beat all school kids and neighbors in FIFA lol, and with great culinary skills, I love food so I will sponsor her on catering school. I don't know how to cook, I hate all chores but still do them. I have travel plans first for my education, I have some courses I must do outside the zoo but for the family a relocation is sure, this place seems like it wants to erupt like a volcano

Sixfeetbelle:


I love your list. But I'm confused about the bold.

To see my pic: this isn't a matchmaking thread

Who says it's a match making thread!?
Just wanna see ya pic,that's all.


@that bolded,I'm a freak for ladies with big legs

I love a lady who knows how to invest

"intercourse not more than 5 times" ... Nigerian guys will soon invent virginanometer at this rate they are going...







What I want in a man? Fine face,fine body, Sense, Respect, Money! That's all!

proclinician:
I want an intelligent woman. Just know how to do business, be money conscious, how to deal with figures, profit and loss, income and expenditure, business acumen. I'm a resident doc now will be a consultant in time to come and I know how to get paid. I get paid always main hustle, side hustle but manage money or invest na problem. We will never lack money but we may never get wealthy if we don't invest. A virgin is a bonus or just not more than 5 intercourses. Mine is uncountable anyway so we go align. I want an adventurous woman, someone that can plan vacation, a play station console gamer, I want Junior and Imade to beat all school kids and neighbors in FIFA lol, and with great culinary skills, I love food so I will sponsor her on catering school. I don't know how to cook, I hate all chores but still do them. I have travel plans first for my education, I have some courses I must do outside the zoo but for the family a relocation is sure, this place seems like it wants to erupt like a volcano

...5 intercourse..the thing get meter ni

Iceberg3:


Who says it's a match making thread!?
Just wanna see ya pic,that's all.


@that bolded,I'm a freak for ladies with big legs

I love a lady who knows how to invest

..one of my former rookie had very big legs
We were pitying her.....
Only for me to hear that a guys loves that
Interesting

1.fear of God
2. Tall or average ..m not tall just 5'5
3.we must av the same view about life( religion, social,
4. He must be very matured...knows how to handle stuffs....personally I can overdo things
5. He must be willing to leave this country with me......cos I av in mind to write nclex after my degree
6.very important he must be a VIRGIN
Yah he must......
He shouldn't bring public dick to me

Hardworking
Smart
Faithful
Pleasant for me to look at
Ongoing

Phenomenal16:
...5 intercourse..the thing get meter ni

Lol sure it does. Who wants a used and abused thingy?

Sixfeetbelle:


Even given an opportunity to laugh and make jokes, you still try to project hate. If you read carefully, you would see I never said this was my reality.

But, Thank you.

Stay away from me

proclinician:
I want an intelligent woman. Just know how to do business, be money conscious, how to deal with figures, profit and loss, income and expenditure, business acumen. I'm a resident doc now will be a consultant in time to come and I know how to get paid. I get paid always main hustle, side hustle but manage money or invest na problem. We will never lack money but we may never get wealthy if we don't invest. A virgin is a bonus or just not more than 5 intercourses. Mine is uncountable anyway so we go align. I want an adventurous woman, someone that can plan vacation, a play station console gamer, I want Junior and Imade to beat all school kids and neighbors in FIFA lol, and with great culinary skills, I love food so I will sponsor her on catering school. I don't know how to cook, I hate all chores but still do them. I have travel plans first for my education, I have some courses I must do outside the zoo but for the family a relocation is sure, this place seems like it wants to erupt like a volcano

Just stick to a virgin for the culture and for your peace of mind oo

This one you're counting 5 intercourses, although I feel you're joking, is impossible to ascertain.

Sixfeetbelle:


I love your list. But I'm confused about the bold.

To see my pic: this isn't a matchmaking thread

Right, so where/how do people who are interested get to see it?