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We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage - Family (11) - Nairaland

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Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Manageme: 8:17pm On Apr 04, 2020
Get her drunk then you Bleep her. You can call someone to help you do that if you are afraid

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Jormungandr(m): 8:25pm On Apr 04, 2020
Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. cheesy ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land grin . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

So bro, I did some research and I am of the opinion that it's either she is just scared of sex or has a more serious condition called vaginismus, but last last it's not still that bad.


All u have to do is talk alot when u want to try and start with smaller sized objects, of u are opposed to intimacy gadgets, u can use your fingers for the first few days to enter and widen the hole, but she needs to be as comfortable as possible, the idea of sedatives will not be a lasting solution.

Start with small objects like you fingers and work up, u can use 1 finger today for 20mins, tomorrow use 2 fingers for 30mins and 3 fingers next tomorrow, by the end of the week you should be able to penetrate her.
But the key is her being comfortable, hope say u Sabi crack joke ooh ��

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Alwaysachick: 8:30pm On Apr 04, 2020
Hhenryy:


Damn bro! Your ignorance stinks to the high heavens!

Don't tell me you are unaware of the ills of Female Genital Mutilation (circumcision) despite all the sensitization by the federal government in conjunction with the ministry of health and women affairs.

You must be living in a remote village! Anyway go and read about the practice and effects of FGM on the girl child in Nigeria/Africa.


I am a woman, was circumcised. Most females I know around me were circumcised. I don't know to what extend hers was done. But I can tell you most circumcised women are having and enjoying sex, they cum they squirt name it all...

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Manageme: 8:31pm On Apr 04, 2020
Please if she is this afraid to have sex how is she going to give birth. Cos that pain is more than is little razor cut pain
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by september1999(m): 8:32pm On Apr 04, 2020
Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!! sad

sincerely I don't know and I am 30+, although I will we'd this year.

2 Likes

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:39pm On Apr 04, 2020
BarrElChapo:


I feel a strong urge to slam you but I won't.
The fact that probably lost your virginity a teenager and have numerous body counts & experience to match does not make two virgins dumb okay.
the girl crying " my daddy" my daddy" and the guy taking him 3 months to locate her vagina is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Nobody: 8:42pm On Apr 04, 2020
Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!! sad
Don't be quick to say that. I have seen a lot of cases like this.


A lot of grown ass women don't know where their vagina is. Talkless of a spirikoko couple.

Are they deeper life or MFM

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by tpraiz(m): 8:42pm On Apr 04, 2020
One quick question please.
How old is your Wife ?
This story is just somehow
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Smif(m): 8:42pm On Apr 04, 2020
Fake story
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Munzy14(m): 8:47pm On Apr 04, 2020
Donald3d:


Sis, you have no idea how much people don't know about their own bodies.
For example, I laugh when I hear about some ladies urinating after sex to prevent pregnancy, thinking the urine would push/flush the sperm out, they don't know the urine has a totally different and separate passage !!!.
We learn everyday cool
She isnt aware some people dont know their body.
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by juniorstar(m): 8:51pm On Apr 04, 2020
she has vaginismus and should see a gynaecologist. who would use graded v dilators and psychotherapy.
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by GboyegaD(m): 8:58pm On Apr 04, 2020
CHARLOE:
@op u're d cause, u were trying to penetrate d wrong hole for good 3months! U put her they thru
alot of pains, now she has developed phobia for sex. U're obviously a novice; don't use any lubricant apart from water, after romancing her, wet ur cap n her vagina with water, insert ur cap gently n start thrusting gently at first n harder later, you'll definitely break thru. Took me 3 days to finally disvirgin my wife after marriage. Keep trying, go to YouTube n watch videos

I guess water based lubricant doesn't work for all.
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by fahvurtaj(m): 9:02pm On Apr 04, 2020
She is suffering from Vaginismus...
I think.

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by cletz991(m): 9:12pm On Apr 04, 2020
Hisroyalbadmeat:
Your wife is abnormal, undecided
she normal o .i waited for my gf for about 8months before hitting the honey pot e nor easy .as a Man U have to be verrrry patient with the lady because them too fear pain

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by tonididdy(m): 9:12pm On Apr 04, 2020
Na wa oh
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by cletz991(m): 9:15pm On Apr 04, 2020
Blessedone26:



Sexotologist?....... Haven't heard of that, but I will give it a shot tomorrow morning.
OGA BE A MAN ...SHES YOUR WIFE .Do it the normal way forget all these sexologist mata our forefathers didn’t do any of those shits
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by HomorBj(m): 9:18pm On Apr 04, 2020
Alwaysachick:



He wanted to give him a perfect picture. Some guys don't know how, when and where to do this things.

Hmmm,not all guys understand that it’s a maximum point of satisfaction for the female folks
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Parisian: 9:18pm On Apr 04, 2020
Stop with your generalization. I was about 15 when I knew that babies came out through the vagina.
Ginaz:
This story looks somehow abeg I can’t fit can!!

Which Nigerian man won’t know the right hole to have sex? To the extent it took you 3 months to locate the vagina. Don’t your wife know her own Vagina to direct you to it that she has to keep quiet for 3 months? Didn’t they teach you biology in school?

This story is quack on arrival . What an odd couple if this story is true!! sad
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Alwaysachick: 9:19pm On Apr 04, 2020
HomorBj:


Hmmm,not all guys understand that it’s a maximum point of satisfaction for the female folks



It is a natural lubricator grin but if you don't get it right, you end up doing the exact opposite. Someone needs to school him.
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Parisian: 9:26pm On Apr 04, 2020
I was about 15 when my mom told me babies came out through the vagina. I still remember that conversation and how my jaw dropped in shock. I had thought it was through the anus.
Sixfeetbelle:


Frankly speaking, Biology didn't tell me where exactly my vagina was or the connection it had with a Penis. Of course, it told us the two organs met to form a baby but it wasn't explicit on how that process was achieved.

I read a sex education manual when I was 15 and a female corp member (our form teacher) then was convinced by us to expantiate on the matter. So, by the time I was about to write waec, I had a fairly good idea how sex worked.

1 Like

Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by korexdodo(m): 9:38pm On Apr 04, 2020
Blind cannot lead the blind!
Most unfortunate, neither of them had experience before marriage.
The best solution- OP should go out, learn, practice and come back home and execute what he learned on his wife.
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Smhaykins(m): 9:46pm On Apr 04, 2020
Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. cheesy ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land grin . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

Romance her till she z wet...kip romancing till she z wet for like a month(without any attempt to av aex)

After like a month, u should try one finger, after using one finger for one month, increase to two...after using two fingers for some month...try to encourage to watch porn with u. After watching porn for several times with u... Call me bastard if she does not remove ur fingers n beg for dick in d next attempt.

Never mind my English....am talking from experience
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Denique(f): 9:50pm On Apr 04, 2020
Donald3d:
lipsrsealed

I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are
Agba!!! shocked
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Smug4real(m): 10:00pm On Apr 04, 2020
[quote author=Donald3d post=87318647] lipsrsealed

I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering. wink

UPDATE !!!!! :

OP is making progress !!, I can't wait to chop naming ceremony rice smiley smiley cheesy grin

Damn; this guy is a pro.
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by frozen70(f): 10:03pm On Apr 04, 2020
stormborn28:
big pola

OK naw, deal with it
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by AngelDo: 10:06pm On Apr 04, 2020
You really sabi...

Donald3d:
lipsrsealed

I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering. wink

UPDATE !!!!! :

OP is making progress !!, I can't wait to chop naming ceremony rice smiley smiley cheesy grin

grin
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by AngelDo: 10:10pm On Apr 04, 2020
You really sabi

quote author=Donald3d post=87318647] lipsrsealed

I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering. wink

UPDATE !!!!! :

OP is making progress !!, I can't wait to chop naming ceremony rice smiley smiley cheesy grin

grin[/quote]
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by NaijadrivaCars: 10:12pm On Apr 04, 2020
Did I just read this? shocked
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by bizzibodi(m): 10:27pm On Apr 04, 2020
Millenniumlady:
He has been putting his penis in the wrong hole for three months cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy
I dnt blame him,3 holes dey there.
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by piagetskinner(m): 10:27pm On Apr 04, 2020
Naaaah... this thread is not for me


Walks out of thread
Re: We Have Not Been Able To Have Sex Yet After 7 Months Of Marriage by Johnchyz(m): 11:24pm On Apr 04, 2020
SERIOUSLY THAT MAN IS NOT A MAN. CAN U IMAGINE. WHATS THE REASON OF HARNESSING YOUR VIRGINITY THUS FAR, OP DO U ATTEND REDEEM , THATS WHERE U FIND SUCK PERSONS. THIS IS DISTURBING.

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