phrancys001:
Na white garment church ni abi olumbaa?

phrancys001:
Na white garment church ni abi olumbaa?

Blixon:
Good evening NL,

I am a young man in my early thirties who has been thinking of settling down for sometime now. I was worried for a bit that I may never find my kinda woman after my previous relationship went sour several years ago. Last year, around May, I met a young lady in her mid twenties. Now she doesnt exactly have everything figured out in her life yet, she comes from a poor background and has no tertiary education but I was so drawn to her that I started investing heavily in helping her and her family, education and otherwise. I have been asked a couple of times when I was planning to settle down, so when I was certain I could spend the rest of my life with this young lady, I decided to take the news home. I had been to her place and her family welcomed me. But on getting to mine, my parents seemed devastated that I planned to marry someone whose religious denomination has questionable roots and rumours of traditional practices which is a big issue for them. Now while the young lady has decided to join my denomination, they are scared her parents may be staunch practitioners of their faith and practice somethings in their denomination that isnt really considered christian. I have spoken to my girl about their practices and she has told me she is not aware of the rumours concerning their denomination. What do I do?

Please help a fella out. I really want to marry her but this refusal on my parents part is breaking my heart.

Blixon:
Good evening NL,

I am a young man in my early thirties who has been thinking of settling down for sometime now. I was worried for a bit that I may never find my kinda woman after my previous relationship went sour several years ago. Last year, around May, I met a young lady in her mid twenties. Now she doesnt exactly have everything figured out in her life yet, she comes from a poor background and has no tertiary education but I was so drawn to her that I started investing heavily in helping her and her family, education and otherwise. I have been asked a couple of times when I was planning to settle down, so when I was certain I could spend the rest of my life with this young lady, I decided to take the news home. I had been to her place and her family welcomed me. But on getting to mine, my parents seemed devastated that I planned to marry someone whose religious denomination has questionable roots and rumours of traditional practices which is a big issue for them. Now while the young lady has decided to join my denomination, they are scared her parents may be staunch practitioners of their faith and practice somethings in their denomination that isnt really considered christian. I have spoken to my girl about their practices and she has told me she is not aware of the rumours concerning their denomination. What do I do?

Please help a fella out. I really want to marry her but this refusal on my parents part is breaking my heart.

PrimadonnaO:
I hope you're an active Christian, not one who's lukewarm.

I'll advise you don't ignore the concerns of your parents even if you decide to marry this girl. Be prepared to wage spiritual wars and uproot strongholds. If you don't have the spiritual tenacity for the long haul, then abort mission, because that marriage will be far from easy.

Randy100:
spiritual war my foot. I can bet my left nyash that you are an extreme member of one pentecostal church in Nigeria.

PrimadonnaO:


No. I'm not an extremist, but spiritual warfare is real. If she's coming from a family of traditional worshippers, then there's a good chance there'll be trouble.

Passionate888:
Na white garment church.

ambivert27:

So what if it's a white garment church? The way you guys talk on here as if there are no good ones among them.

ambivert27:

So what if it's a white garment church? The way you guys talk on here as if there are no good ones among them.

phrancys001:
Na white garment church ni abi olumbaa?

Passionate888:
It's just like you girls reject broke guys... White garment church girls is a no no even to some of their guys, they go out and marry then convert her

GboyegaD:


You are not ripe for marriage. If your parents who wouldn't be living with you in your marital home has so much power, then, stay put with your parents and safe a sister the stress.

Also, you been asked when you intend settling down is a concern for me. If you still attend to such questions and get bothered by them, I fear you shouldn't deal with marriage. The challenges you have to deal with after marriage is way more.

Lastly, my major pain is that you want to hold someone responsible for other people's beliefs.

GboyegaD:


You are not ripe for marriage. If your parents who wouldn't be living with you in your marital home has so much power, then, stay put with your parents and safe a sister the stress.

Also, you been asked when you intend settling down is a concern for me. If you still attend to such questions and get bothered by them, I fear you shouldn't deal with marriage. The challenges you have to deal with after marriage is way more.

Lastly, my major pain is that you want to hold someone responsible for other people's beliefs.

Olunmercy56:


Thanks so much, you said it all, pizza and a Martina for you sir. I just pity the lady, she will see shege for her in-laws rules. Maybe his parents is still feeding him

Originalsly:
Your parents .... their parents' religion... does it have 'questionable roots'? So how did your parents marry but you can't?... to someone that is of the same faith as you? As your parents are that religious... feed them with Bible. Even if her parents are Red Garment.... she is not... is of the same faith. So ask them if you marry her if you would be unequally yoked. Maybe you need to remind them that it is the girl you are marrying... not ber parents.
If her parents were into ehmmm.... spiritual warfare.... their daughter would never become a member of your church. Personally... your parents do not like the girl for other reasons.... this is just a lame excuse. I guess because they are poor. He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing... stuff them.

He whose parents findeth him a wife receiveth misery.

Blixon:

Sometimes, try to read to comprehend before drawing hasty conclusions.

How am I not ready? When I wrote *I've been asked* I didnt suggest that the questions bothered me. I even mentioned at the very beginning that I have been thinking about settling down. I simply meant that I was not expecting any resistance when I finally decided I was ready to tell them, cos they've asking. I also wrote i had taken my time to ensure i was ready cos my last relationship was several years ago. So when I was sure I was prepared, I went to see them. No one is happy for their parents to not be on their side when they decide to settle. If not for anything else, their blessing is still important.

GboyegaD:


Oga, you can just read my suggestion and move on. If you read your response, you will realize there is some manning up to do. You need their blessings, what an adult sees sitting down, etc have robbed so many of a lifetime joy. They have raised you and if they cannot trust your decision in this regard, then I am not only scared for you, I am scared for your wife as well. The sole decision on whom to marry lies only in the hands of the spouses. Others are just passersby in your story. No one ask them what happened and most importantly, the society focuses more on you as the head of the home. I have said my beat, follow your instincts.

Blixon:

I understand what you are driving at, and thanks for caring, but look at it this way for a moment: What harm would it cause if we all just get along. As much as I am within my capacity to make my own decisions, I do not have to fight with my family to prove myself a man like you put it. The points my parents raised are what any parent as dedicated as mine are would have done. I'm only soliciting advice from well meaning people on how to make this easier for everyone involved.

GboyegaD:


I understand you and the point your parents raised as a concern. You know your fiancee better to make them see her as different from what her family/cultural traditions project. You need your conviction most importantly at this time as that is the only way to explain without shoving it down their throats. While at that, you also want to be as convincing as you should be to pass the message across that you have chosen her as the person you want to be with.
In it all, don't fight, don't make a fuss, and be true to yourself about what you want. Remember, the pains or glory from your decisions are yours to bear and the best others can is to show emotional concerns.

Blixon:
Good evening NL,

I am a young man in my early thirties who has been thinking of settling down for sometime now. I was worried for a bit that I may never find my kinda woman after my previous relationship went sour several years ago. Last year, around May, I met a young lady in her mid twenties. Now she doesnt exactly have everything figured out in her life yet, she comes from a poor background and has no tertiary education but I was so drawn to her that I started investing heavily in helping her and her family, education and otherwise. I have been asked a couple of times when I was planning to settle down, so when I was certain I could spend the rest of my life with this young lady, I decided to take the news home. I had been to her place and her family welcomed me. But on getting to mine, my parents seemed devastated that I planned to marry someone whose religious denomination has questionable roots and rumours of traditional practices which is a big issue for them. Now while the young lady has decided to join my denomination, they are scared her parents may be staunch practitioners of their faith and practice somethings in their denomination that isnt really considered christian. I have spoken to my girl about their practices and she has told me she is not aware of the rumours concerning their denomination. What do I do?

Please help a fella out. I really want to marry her but this refusal on my parents part is breaking my heart.