movement2020:


Note : The lady was not married when she conceived. It was a long distance relationship that caused the havoc. Though, that is not an excuse.

Ellipsoid:
Irrespective of your decision, don't halt your fatherly duties to the boy.

LewsTherin:
Did you get a dna test on her too? Confirm your kid wasn't swapped at the hospital. Then you can be sure that she cheated.

Of you do confirm.she cheated, I honestly have no advice to give you there. That's some messed up shnitzle.

SweetCunt97:
Naaaa.. I strictly believe in d sanctity of marriage. Getting someone serious and getting married simply means hanging one's boot. No be everyone get that OT though. She passing off another's man's baby as her husband's dey very wrong... Should the innocent child suffer d stupid actions of d silly mother?

dominique:


So he should just brush it off like it never happened? There are some things that are allowed to destroy the sancity of marriage, deceiving a man into raising a bastard should be one of them. So far I commend the op for being calm and mature about this so far. He will still have to confront his wife, sadly this could be the beginning of the end of their marriage. I personally will never advise my brother or son to remain with that ki d of person

SweetCunt97:
Calling d Lil kid a bastard is quite harsh don't you think? If he wants to divorce her, he should go ahead. Personally it's d innocent kid I'm concerned for

chinebu:
Adopt the boy in your heart. Let the sleeping dog as long as she has not cheated on you since you married her. My opinion though.

ibkayee:
This isn't a personal attack on the OP because I'm not privy to his personal life, but generally speaking, I wish this same level of outrage was expressed when it came to the incessant infidelities Nigerian wives are expected to endure. Lol can you imagine if males could conceive?

I feel bad for OP because I've read the details and there's a proximity that interacting with him on the forum brings that has forced allowed me to empathize with him as an individual. However, if it was a random headline somewhere I'd caught I'd probably laugh

movement2020:
Good the court are not in process. Good, you also have patience to ask on how to handle it perfectly. I appreciate that in you. You are manly.

Now, to the solution. It's going to be a hard one. I don't know how you can handle what am about to advise but with your patience and manly stand, I think you would be able.

Op, this life, we are faced with different tribulations. Yours will differ from mine. To be frank, you went too far and now you have to be bold enough to face the consequence. It's just like couples checking each other's phone. They will definitely see something they never planned. Either get depressed or break up.

You have two options but before you take any, let the children in question be your first reason to decide

The first option is, tell your wife and seek for divorce. If you divorce, your daughter would live separately which is a problem to you because rarely would have the chance to train her.

Second, take it as your destiny. The greatest secret you will take down to your grave. Accept fate, forgive and move on as if nothing happened. It's easy said than done but that's the truth. We all have secrets and this should be added to yours. Love your wife as well.

TinaG:
Confront her with the result first, then decide if you can forgive her or move on.but if you can't do that now, kindly stay off your home before you commit murder. So sorry about the situation.

Sixfeetbelle:

Do you really think every situation concerning infidelity and paternity scam are the same? That the cheater did it on purpose and willingly?

The boy's conception might have come from one drink too many at a friend's party, or persistent flirting from a colleague at work, or any other whatever that isn't deliberate. Not everybody sins without remorse.

RisenPhoenix:


You mean other whatever that isn't deliberate like a man not deliberately falling on top of a woman after they both forget to wear boxers/ panties on that day and his whatsis slides inside her whatsis repeatedly but still not deliberately, while they are trying to get up?
Yeah. Totally not her fault.

[s]Do you listen to yourself? So persistent flirting with a colleague is excuse huh? Or going steamy after drinking at a friend's party? All good. Afterall, the devil did it didn't he?[/s]

Only the devil never pays for the upkeep in the end. It is the cuckold of a husband who does. And why she can't come home after the persistent colleague at the devilish party has had his way, and come clean to her husband so he can take the DNA test from day 1 after delivery, I can't understand.

Btw, women only show 'remorse' when they are caught. Note the word 'show'.

Sixfeetbelle:


I made my point clear. Some cheating situations aren't deliberate. And the need to confess of such sins isn't as readily forthcoming as you seem to think it is. Some people have kept damaging secrets for 20 years and will take it to their grave if not found out. His wife may be in that category.

Sixfeetbelle:


I made my point clear. Some cheating situations aren't deliberate. And the need to confess of such sins isn't as readily forthcoming as you seem to think it is. Some people have kept damaging secrets for 20 years and will take it to their grave if not found out. His wife may be in that category.

movement2020:
Good the court are not in process. Good, you also have patience to ask on how to handle it perfectly. I appreciate that in you. You are manly.

Now, to the solution. It's going to be a hard one. I don't know how you can handle what am about to advise but with your patience and manly stand, I think you would be able.

Op, this life, we are faced with different tribulations. Yours will differ from mine. To be frank, you went too far and now you have to be bold enough to face the consequence. It's just like couples checking each other's phone. They will definitely see something they never planned. Either get depressed or break up.

You have two options but before you take any, let the children in question be your first reason to decide

The first option is, tell your wife and seek for divorce. If you divorce, your daughter would live separately which is a problem to you because rarely would have the chance to train her.

Second, take it as your destiny. The greatest secret you will take down to your grave. Accept fate, forgive and move on as if nothing happened. It's easy said than done but that's the truth. We all have secrets and this should be added to yours. Love your wife as well.



What if tomorrow the father of the boy decide to come for his boy?

RisenPhoenix:


So how is that justified? Or what is your point exactly? That if it is only due to a one-time stand in her opinion it is ok to pass it off on her husband? Or that because women keep getting away with crimes unconfessed for decades, then they are justified in keeping on trying?

See reasoning. I fear you o.

crackkhaus:

What are you even trying to rationalize here?
That somehow there's a good excuse to pass off another man's child as your husbands'?

That is why he asked you, if you even listen to yourself...

A witch is not only someone who holds 2am meetings on Banana trees oo

Sixfeetbelle:


From your initial post where you said she looks at the boy and remembers the sex as if it's a momento, I went ahead to refute that claim by giving you the examples from earlier. My point is that some sex are not memorable to some people. They are regrettable actions that the guilty party hasn't had the courage to confess to, which in no way justifies her not telling him at all. He deserved to know even from the day of the sex sef.

Sixfeetbelle:

At the bold, can you stop making this a woman thing? Not all deadly secrets being kept in marriages are from the women. Some men have cheated with their sister-in-law or their wife's best friend and gotten them pregnant but have kept shut about such things. Any gender can keep secrets. Human beings are that horrible

RisenPhoenix:


Women do not have sex by mistake. Unless she was downright raped, in which case the whole world would have known, she had it in mind to open up and had been dreaming of opening up. Alcohol or persistent toasting merely provided the grease to the hinges holding the legs together.



A man may have kids outside, but he is never going to come home and foist another woman's kids on his wife to waste her time and her hard earned wealth on. Why is this concept always so hard for women to grasp? It is not the sexual betrayal alone that is sickening, it is the fraudulent behaviour; getting the man to spend his wealth, his time and his emotional energy on the delivery, treatment, education, nurture, worrying, mentoring and laying his life down for a child conceived by another man. And it goes on and on and on for; as you pointed out; decades sometimes; with the woman smugly feeling not a twinge of conscience at having carried out a 419 transaction of such massive proportions and gleefully watching the man labouring for her lovers seed. Do you have any idea how many millions it takes to bring up a child? Do you know how much emotional investment it requires for a man to keep day after day after day at a hateful job breaking his back to bring home the bacon and doing what he thinks is the the best for his family; only to find out 3 decades later that it was all a scam and the kids are actually another man's family? Obviously not. Women are as blissfully ignorant of such events that a man goes through as men are unaware of the alleged pains of childbirth. There is a huge amount of difference between when a man cheats and when a woman cheats madam. A very very huge difference. So please stop equating them.

Sixfeetbelle:


The only reason I hate debating points with you is that Ive noticed that you hate women or at least, you don't believe they can ever be altruistic about any behaviour or action they do.

Sixfeetbelle:

You exempt a man because he didn't bring the illegitimate child into his married home. But you forget the likelihood of a married man somewhere being the boys real father and knowing about it is a possibility. But you must exempt a man because he didn't dump the child on his wife, even if he did on his unfortunate lover.

Sixfeetbelle:

Now, because the woman brought the child to the home, she's the worst being there is. Why? Women are evil. Simple. I don't support her action but even I know some situations need desperate measures. If she had left the child on the street, or aborted it, I'm sure you'll have colourful words to describe her with. (I know what your typical response to a case like this would be.)

Sixfeetbelle:

You also don't believe an act of sex can be regretted. I haven't been in that situation but I've come close to it and trust me, there are sexual encounters that you'll regret immediately the haze wears off. Applies to both gender. But you don't believe men can ever be in that kind of situation. Why? You hate women.

Sixfeetbelle:

Stop acting as if only women are evil. Stop making exceptions for men. Human beings are evil. Simple.

RisenPhoenix:


I know they cannot be altruistic. Women are the most selfish living organism in the known universe.



The lover man probably only thinks that he had himself a good 30 minute fvck and disappeared. He is as much a victim as the husband in many cases. In all likelihood, the other man's wife would never tell him of the outcome, because that would increase the likelihood of her husband finding out; cutting off the moolah that she married him for in the first place.



You got my response right madam. Because the available options are not only between bringing the child home to defraud her husband or leaving the child on the street. The simplest option would have been...wait for it... to simply keep her knees together. Voila, all problems solved. How hard was that?



Oh I know that women regret sex sometimes, but that is always after the fact. Then they claim they were raped, that they didn't say yes to the sixth round; only the 1st to the 5th; that they were drunk... oh they have a whole plethora of 'solutions' to regret sex that they use when the alcohol wears off or the euphoria of being called sexy by her persistent colleague dies down. But that regret never impacts on their selfish desire to eat their husband's cake and have it, nor is it because they feel sorry for the poor unsuspecting fool back home. No, they only regret sex when they feel that they gave away too much for too little in return, and of course, when they get caught. A basic, true regretful stance will negate their watching the poor husband toiling for decades to raise a child they know very well he did not father. How do you feel when a person is being punished with 30 years in jail for a crime he did not commit? What if you had the evidence to set him free, won't you? A woman just watches the alleged 'love of her life' toil without succour. Search deep down and admit it madam. The truth will set you free.



I make exceptions for men because men are not anywhere as evil. Men do wrong out of anger, frustration, greed and ignorance. Women premeditate and knowingly commit evil out of pure fullfilment of selfish desires. They will plan the deed, sharpen the knife, haggle over the price of the poison and set up the alibi. Do not equate the potentials of the two sexes madam. Men are learners where women are concerned.

movement2020:


What would you advice? . The last resort is divorce. Will that solve the problem? It will to a certain stage but if you put the welfare of the kids into consideration, the man has no choice than to let go. It is difficult, I know. The emotional trauma is enough for the boy in the nearest future.

The woman as well would need to re-trace her steps to ascertain the present location of the father. She may not even know. We can't judge her because we have not heard her own side of the story. That alone is psychological trauma for her.

The man would also be affected till he dies because, anything he thinks about it, he gets worried and disturbed.

At this stage, maturity sets in. This issue is not for the faint hearted at all.

See, life is very funny. Let me narrate a scenario. A guy impregnates a lady and refused to take responsibility. The lady at that stage is scared of abortion. She would have to find a way out. As a guy who happens to his fiance, she explains such to you, would you give her money to abort or you take responsibility or break up. Remember, you love her dearly, ready for marriage and this 6 happens.

Some guys would take responsibility while some would let her abort and some would break up.

RisenPhoenix:


I know they cannot be altruistic. Women are the most selfish living organism in the known universe.



The lover man probably only thinks that he had himself a good 30 minute fvck and disappeared. He is as much a victim as the husband in many cases. In all likelihood, the other man's wife would never tell him of the outcome, because that would increase the likelihood of her husband finding out; cutting off the moolah that she married him for in the first place.



You got my response right madam. Because the available options are not only between bringing the child home to defraud her husband or leaving the child on the street. The simplest option would have been...wait for it... to simply keep her knees together. Voila, all problems solved. How hard was that?



Oh I know that women regret sex sometimes, but that is always after the fact. Then they claim they were raped, that they didn't say yes to the sixth round; only the 1st to the 5th; that they were drunk... oh they have a whole plethora of 'solutions' to regret sex that they use when the alcohol wears off or the euphoria of being called sexy by her persistent colleague dies down. But that regret never impacts on their selfish desire to eat their husband's cake and have it, nor is it because they feel sorry for the poor unsuspecting fool back home. No, they only regret sex when they feel that they gave away too much for too little in return, and of course, when they get caught. A basic, true regretful stance will negate their watching the poor husband toiling for decades to raise a child they know very well he did not father. How do you feel when a person is being punished with 30 years in jail for a crime he did not commit? What if you had the evidence to set him free, won't you? A woman just watches the alleged 'love of her life' toil without succour. Search deep down and admit it madam. The truth will set you free.



I make exceptions for men because men are not anywhere as evil. Men do wrong out of anger, frustration, greed and ignorance. Women premeditate and knowingly commit evil out of pure fullfilment of selfish desires. They will plan the deed, sharpen the knife, haggle over the price of the poison and set up the alibi. Do not equate the potentials of the two sexes madam. Men are learners where women are concerned.

Coolcalmcollect:

I guess you fell from your moms back as a baby hence your slow thinking capacity.
I pity your fada, he must have been a chief simp to birth a mega simp as u