Marriage is vast, delicate and a black market. Dont go and add a stronger battle to your own brother.

Try to find out exactly the spirituality in the battle your friend is facing with the ladies' family. Then pay a close attention to things in relating to that, so u get your own fact, try to look deep into the ladies family as regards the facts from your friend.

Your friend might mean well or bad... It is two ways. He is a human being. Human beings naturally don't want good for others- your friend might not be in that category in this particular issue and vice versa. Kissing your ex-gf then might not totally come into play here as to the type of person he is right now(people change) .

However, take your time before u jump into the lady so u dont get to blame your friend later that they introduced you to the lady.

Lastly, go to your maker or whatever you serve to ask him to guild you...

If I were your maker I would say: "be careful"

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

your friend is sleeping with Abigail and probably his wife found out, that's why they have misunderstanding. now he wants you to leave Abigail for him, to continue where he stopped.

I think you already know this that's why to mentioned what Victor tried doing to your ex.

Bro..life is all about risk.relationship is always upadawn, you've add it in your previous relationships, you would have it if u marry her, u would have it with the next lady if u decide not marry Abigail... Some times some situations are just inevitable. Everybody on this platform might tell u "No" don't go for her...and ur heart is telling u she's the one...Go for it bro

I dey suspect that your friend and his wife's sister had/has something. I don't trust him, someone that tried to kiss your girlfriend. I would have said forget about them and move on but


pray..

Oluromantic:
Nawa for you sef. Must all your love affairs tangle with your friend? It happened before, now the second time again. Business with your friend is okay... Look for your love life somewhere else. Tying business and love around same person is not wise. Be independent in ur love life Biko. It can crumble the trust and business fate you both have in each other... [s]someone who wanted to snatch your former gf[/s].and you still no wan wise up.

Besides, as someone who has been in marriage before you, and who understands d battles he's facing, I'd advice you heed his advice.

With the combination of the two points above, Bros go and find your beautiful love somewhere else. Simple!

I agree but for the struck out part...because the poster didn’t confront his friend about this, so we dunno
@Help2020
I hope you heed this poster’s advice.
You are going to have problems in life if you keep suspecting people of disturbing your destiny.
Only you, and God can touch your destiny...nobody else can.
Cheers

On your behalf, I consulted IFA and IFA says I should tell you 'Iworimeji. I don't know how to explain it, but those I'm IFA line and and are very deep in Yoruba culture would understand what I mean. So, ask someone.
Now is time for you to act like a man. There are ways we find out things in Africa. Spiritual issues no be wetin dem dey put hand ooo. Seek deep knowledge before you take action. That is iwori meji in IFA tradition. Before you act, seek plenty of information. Iwori meji no IFA soroooooo

Lamanii22:
Hmmmm... This is confusing... Go and pray about it first...

cool

I think you should postpone every plan you have about whether to marry or not... until the COVID19 palaver is all over!!!

But Guy seriously speaking, so you mean to tell me you can't see that your so called friend is blocking you and your happiness?

Na wa for you o!

What battles has ur frnd been battling that makes him say the gals family has such problems? I cud be true and it may not. I doubt it is cos right now hes having issues with the his wife and I don't know the genesis of that.

U can still verify spritual concerns with ur pastor if those bring u discomfort.

Ur frnd doesn't seem to be a nice person based on his anticedenece and current attitude towards his wife and sister.

The situation is confusing. When a friend betrays your trust,he should never be called a friend anymore. As long as you choose to go with your girl you will definitely lose your friend. And you will be hated by friend for ignoring his advice.

This is deep. First of all, trust no one, forget friendship, just don't trust anyone and also giving what you said about him trying to kiss your ex girlfriend.
Question 1 - Why did he not tell you from the start ? Why is it now that he is having problem with his wife that he is telling you.

Here is my line of thought. He wants to divorce his wife and he does not want to have anything to do with the family again so he does not want you to have anything to do with the family as well. He wants total cut off. You still having ties with the family will always will result in the girl telling you so many atrocities he as a person has done to her sister if he eventually divorce her. It will make you realise the kind of person he is.

I doubt the motive of your friend towards you. He does not sound like a good person to me.

I dont know if you pray, if you do pray. Try and pray.

Help2020

I feel for you. You're stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Your greatest dilemma now is: can I trust the words of my friend and business partner? Are his views objective or subjective? Is he just being selfish and mean?

For some reason, I don't think he's comfortable you marrying the girl. I suspect as the reality hits him, it's becoming like a burden to him. It's making him uncomfortable. A marriage with his in law changes the dynamics of your relationship.

Also, his attempt to kiss an ex-flame is also a red flag. His own personal interests I strongly suspect is the root of his bad mouthing his wife and in law.

I feel you should go ahead and marry her. If he was sincere, he should have opened up to you from the start and not at the 11th hour. To dump her now, will be extremely cruel amd your friend won't feel a thing. I also doubt he'll divorce his wife. It's all part of a well prepared script. He just wants you at a convenient distance.

I will also advise you to call his wife and ask how she is. Say she looked sad the other day that you hope there's no problem. Say jokingly that if her husband is misbehaving, his cane is with you. That you've flogged him this night when he misbehaved. Call her again the next day. If she says everything is fine, and can sense it, begin to question your friend's motive.

Wish you happy married life

no african man that does not have spiritual battles to fight because of enviness, jealousy, poor family background.

Help2020:
yes I am praying about it,Thanks.

then you should have waited for GOD and hear from HIM before bringing it to us and nairaland or do you trust us and nairaland more than you trust GOD?

If the guy is your friend indeed, you ought to have known the kind of person he is. You have answer to this problem than us.
Apart from the previous shot at your girl, are they other ways he's not doing well.

If you ask me, I 'll tell you to go ahead with the girl hence d only problem you guy mentioned is spiritual. Another thing is to know the kind of spiritual pro in question, then you can research better from other source . I don't always deem some men fit when it comes to women issue

In our place, we ask questions about the family , their behaviors, kind of sickness they suffer, if madness runs in their family etc, normally , this questions are asked to old men or women around them. After gathering your data, you will be able to make the next move.
Since you don't have faith in your guy , do the needful.

Don't mind him.
Take your girl for a deliverance session in a strong denomination.
Then go ahead and marry her. Hes just simply jealous.

I think you should just go ahead and marry her if you are sure you both love yourselves. Forget you friend.

Despite that guy once tried to kiss your ex, doesn’t mean he harm for you in all ways. Marriage is a man’s thing. Not easy in another way he might be trying to help you in another way you don’t know yet, maybe trying to discourage you. Try and confirm if you guy never enter that he wife sister. For you to see guy like that and she Dey trip for your outfit and base on watin he Dey hear na suspect. Verify well if your friend hand clean for her body when he case get with the wife all this time. Try ask the guy little thing about the guy. You are just new nor go jump enter like that. Your family problem easy to solve but wife family problem fit kill man before him time. People go say u go fit fight for your wife na lie. When you don enter your wife go defend her family say na ur own get the problem. You never see. Run for woman wey get family problem and the only thing you can do to help her is to show her better church to break her yoke while you pray for her to lead her well. Which prayer you want make God answer for you? U need a good wife u jam one friend say na bad family and if God want am for you, she for come buy market for Kumasi and you go know am without your friend. Check when Abraham take get wife for Isaac and how the wife take come. Abeg na wisdom we wey first follow into that mistake advise people not to try it. Abeg pray well

If your friend can attempt to make out with your ex, chances are that he is having an affair with Abigail's sister which explains why he is opposed to your relationship with her.

My advise: do a background check of Abigail's family and damn any drama that may happen in the course of your marriage should you decide to go ahead, or better still, look elsewhere.

It is practical brother
your friend wanted to kiss your girlfriend..........................How did you confirm it was true, did you base it on what your girlfriend told you or got fact?

you are thinking your friend is a betrayer or whatever.................either your friend act like a betrayer or not, never rely on human being in life,always have a defense mechanism.

your friend said your girlfriend has family issue...............do not take it to be lie or truth...........he might not want to tell you before(truth)...he might have issue with the girl or because he is having issue with his wife(that is why he lied)......................................calm down n make findings(pray about it, do not do the prayer alone)

Something tells me your friend and his sister in-law are DOING the DO or were DOING the DO and she no longer wants to DO the DO cus of you, so you friend is trying to discourage you from making her your wife so she can stay back and continue DOING the DO.



thAnk yOu..

Help2020:
Of course I have been praying about it even before I met her,and I believe the conviction I have about her is a way of God saying she is mine.She is the type I have always wanted and have been praying about.

Your friend is very dishonest and has no regard for his marriage nor respect for his wife.

Does he look like the kind that you should go to for marital advice?

Let him go and look for the cause of his spiritual woes.

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

Broda..U own ya decision and a real man wud take responsilities of his decision...

Dz z my own contribution,if she is the woman of your dream and u dont want to ever loose her..

Pray about it and stand your ground to fight with her even if she ended up having a spiritual battle..

Check ur friend well,if his business is still booming and if he is still doing well..?

If he is still doing well,ur friend might be lieing and might want to also taste from your gf"s juicy pot..

If ur woman,trust and believe u..
Ask her if she is ready to marry u..if no den lock up but if yes..
Open up to her but it must be secret.the reason i asked u to open up to her fast is..if ur friend notice..u r not backing out..he would want to destroy d relatinshp by any means..he cud even tell lies about u to your woman..
So decide,explain tinx to her and look for how u both can settle down and get her out of that place..

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

Follow your mind just the way it has directed you from the on set, do not be distracted by anybody I mean anybody, God has already instructed you on what to do, that girl is your girl man

This one is simple...

My guy is a puff adder of the highest order and I would do the opposite of everything he suggests.

He has literally been to hell and back...

it's a 50:50 chance....

either He's lying... or it's just the plain truth

My brother, l just want to reiterate on what people have said here.
1. If you have prayed and got convinced that the lady is your future partner,don't be discouraged, move on with her. There's no family without a spiritual problem.
2. If possible, do your business alone or 80% personal and 20% with your friend if you don't want to cut the tie with your friend. In addition, limit the rate at which you reveal your secret to your friend.
3.I will also advice to involve the lady in the business which could financially pave way for her. Remember, whatever you do for her now, you are indirectly doing it for yourself and your future. Yourself if you marry her, the two of you will benefit. Your future, for both of you and yourself alone, that's if you don't marry her which l doubt if God says she is. God knows how to compensate His own for any assistance they render.
4. You and the lady, find time to be praying for your friend and his wife. Remember that you can only harvest or reap the good you show now in the future. God might want to bring out the good thing that you and your friend have never though of. IT'S WELL WITH YOU, MY BROTHER.

he"s probably eyeing the said girl abigail and why u keeping such a said friend around u?

First of, you need to pray. No matter what happens, if God follows you to a journey, you'll never be put to shame and marriage they say is a lifetime journey.
Also you can make your enquiries on the low.
Probably your friend has been chopping from the sister in law's pot, who knows?