The War: Her Voice
Part 3
We can lay on the bed one last time
We can laugh again and forget all the problems of this world
I smile by just thinking about you
I can get weak by just resting my lips on yours
I can melt by just hearing your voice
I can sleep on your chest and all the moon is mine
And all pots forget how hot the fire is
The coals burn and the sun ignites
The wind rustles and the days get blown away
A cup of coffee was always on the table waiting for you to return
A pregnant woman was always on the window listening to war broadcast with tears matching out of her eyes hoping for you to return
Dear my love
It is me, your first love
Your high school sweetheart
Let me first apologize for not telling you that I am pregnant
No! Let me first apologize for not telling you that we are pregnant,
You would always say “it’s we, not I, even when you are pregnant it is we, not I” so yeah we are pregnant.
Please forgive me for not telling you that we are pregnant, I am sorry.
My love the baby is a boy and the greatest gift I think I ever gave my in-laws, was to name him after you
It brought them to tears
My eyes know the pain I cried out that day
He is four years now, everything about him remains me of you
The way he laughs,
How loud he is
Sometimes I feel like crying by just looking at him
Oh before I forget
He is also a bad dancer like you, but I will never tell me him because I hope one day he will be better than you,
My love, I have lived my life with nothing but pain
Nothing was the same ever since you left
I tried to put a smile on but everything was ironic
Your letters gave me a life I lost when you left.
Reading your letters brought you closer to me
I would close my eyes and see you in your uniform
God knows that I was praying for you to return home
I had hopes that one day you would return
I wanted you to be with me inside the maternity ward
I wanted you to be the first one to meet the photocopy of you
We argued a lot about who our child will look like, I have always told you
“You are the dominant one” I wish you can see him.
My love, are you coming?
“Knock, knock”
“Whose there?”
I was in the kitchen preparing food for ma and pa
“I said who's there”
“Daughter just open, my son is a soldier and if something happens he will shoot them,” said pa
I chuckled and I opened the door
Two soldiers with dejected faces standing on the door
I knew it was about you
They had uniform folded nicely in their hands
I didn’t cry when they shook their heads
I didn’t scream when they told me that you are no more
I smiled in a simple way
I touched my tummy and I told it that everything will be okay
I laughed in a nice way
I called ma and pa
Ma broke down and cried
Lovers pick each other up, pa picked Ma up and wiped her eyes
If I broke down who was going to pick me up?
If I cried who was going to wipe my tears?
They gave me your uniform and left
Everything was normal for me
News travels fast and everyone was there to pay their respect
I didn’t cry for you
I didn’t cry for you
Early in the morning
On the window like a flower pot
I waited for you
Your cup of coffee was on the table waiting for you to return
A pregnant woman waiting on the window like a curtain
“Daughter, what are you doing on the window?”
“I am waiting for my husband to return home”
“What? No don’t do this to yourself, he is no more, please come sit with us”
Father always told jokes, I laughed and I told him that you are coming
On that window, with my hands resting on my stomach
I waited
And waited
And waited
And waited
I ate from that window
I slept on that window
I was losing my mind
Until one morning I cried out so loud
Because I was waiting for you and you were not coming back
I was waiting for you and tomorrow we were taking your ashes to the grave
I loved a man, not a cup full of ashes
We were made from soil,
When I was holding that cup I wished to be God and make you again.
Now that you are gone and I am wishing that you were here in this ward to see your first child
Now that you are gone, I look at your son and I see a man I have loved with all that I have
I see a man I love and still hope that one you will come home
Judgement day, they are saying everything will be okay
I hope to see you again.
My love, I have done you wrong
I have slept with a man because I was trying to forget about you
Pa and ma told me to move on with my life
But every move I make
I still see your smile
I still hear your laughter
I find myself in broke relationships
I can’t keep a relationship because the man I ever loved showed me how to be loved
I tried to move on but my heart is still yours
I am writing to you today
Because another man broke my heart
But that is not why I write to you
My love, your son doesn’t sleep anymore
Every night he wakes up in a fury of a nightmare
He tells me about a man who calls him, son
My love, you are not forgotten
You are always at the back of our minds
Today we are going to ask for your spirit to rest in perfect peace
I want you to rest my love
I want you to stop worrying about us because we are okay
The war is over and we are safe
You are the pride of our nation
Dear God, please accept your child
For all that he sinned, we pray you to forgive him.
My love
I know one day we will meet again
Maybe we will dance again
Maybe we will laugh like hyenas again
When we meet, I can’t wait to hear all the war stories you have for me
We will be three this time
Me
You
And our son
We will be magic
I can’t wait for that day to come
Because maybe you can kiss my lips again and all the worries in my head will faint.