Funny Zone

Here we'll be posting funny things, such as Texts, Pics and Videos, old or new.


Let's go...

THREE WISHES

Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here'.

Parrot and the buyer
A lady walked into a pet shop demanding
for a parrot.
The owner: "we have 2 kinds, one
repeats everything you say & the other
thinks for itself"
Lady:"I think I'll like the one that
thinks for itself"
The owner brought out her choice & told
her to quiz the parrot.
Lady: how do I look?
Parrot: like a prostitute
Lady: I won't buy it, this parrot is
rude!
The owner: pls lady just give me a
moment.....(walked towards the
backyard with the parrot. He dipped the
parrot into a bucket full of water &
warned the parrot, "if u're rude to that
lady one more time I will drown u in this
bucket". When the man came back to d
counter he told the lady now ask the
parrot anything you wish and I assure u
that he will be polite.
CONVERSATION
LADY: if I come home at night with a
man, what will u call this man?
PARROT: Your husband!
LADY: Good, what if I come home with
two men?
PARROT: Your husband & your in-law.
LADY: Good! Good!, what if I come
home with 3 men?
PARROT: Your husband, your inlaw &
your brother!
LADY: Goooooood!!! What if I come
home with 4 men?
PARROT: (looked back at the
owner)....and said "pls go and drown
me, I said it earlier that this woman is a
prostitute!!!

Lol if this small dog knows what was going on I'm sure it'll remain calm.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DQ9jk__zmQ

A YOUNG GIRL AFTER HER HONEYMOON


A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,
when her friends asked her what happened?

She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

"I thought It was MONEY

MARRIED MAN DIED NOT HAVING SEX


A married man died not having sex with his wife, then the wife cut off his dick, embalms it and fixed it on the wall. Every night she went to the wall to satisfy herself, one day her neighbor found out. Then he made a hole in the wall and removed the man's dick and put his dick there instead...waiting for the lady to come and satisfy herself...the lady came with a knife and cut off the dick then said, 'darling we are moving to a new apartment.'

Don't funk with chimpanzees or monkeys, they'll clear your doubt.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wFpcFM7DrM

[Funny] GIRL WHO MISSED HER PERIOD
●
A girl missed her period about 2 months, her mom took her to the clinic for pregnancy test of which it was positive. Embarrased, her mom said; who is the pig that got you pregnant? The girl picked up
her phone and made a call, an hour later, a young handsome man drove in Ferrari to the girl's house. Good evening, the man greeted. Your daughter told me the problem in the house. I can't marry for now because of my family issue, but I
promise I will take care of her for the rest of her life, and if she gives birth to a girl, I promised to buy her a mansion, 2 jeeps and 1 million dollars. If it's a boy, I'll buy her houses in a countryside, 5 jeeps, 2 big factories and 5million dollars in her account. If it's twins, I'll do anything she asked. But if there's miscarriage, what do you suggest i do?
The girls father silently pat the young man on his shoulder and said; my son, if there is miscarriage, you'll
sleep with her again.

Funny - Two People Sharing Oranges
FUNNY!!!

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor & decided to go to a calm place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag. Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying: "One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You".....
He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a church nearby, for the priest...
"Father, please come with me . Come & witness God & satan sharing corpse at the cemetery"...
They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued: "One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You'.
Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said:
"What About The Two At The Gate?"...
See marathon race!...
The priest almost ran past the church gate...shouting: "We Are Not Dead oohh!!!".

You must watch this these animals got drunk after eating Marula fruits


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lrgu82rQZw

3 Most Funny Jokes
FunnyJokes
•
1] How Much does it Cost to get Married?
A little boy asked his father: "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied: "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
•
2] At night, a thief came in and stole a madman's tv and dvd. On geting out of the house, the madman wakeup and chase the thief.
Afta 2 hrs race, the thief gave up, he start pleading but the madman replied 'Dont worry, i wanted to give you the remotes.
•
3] A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"