This thread is proof positive that the vast majority of women are self centered selfish creatures. Look at all of them saying they can only do that if he is their husband. All Nigerian men also need to stop giving money to women unless the woman is married to them.

Years and years ago, I once dated a guy that was struggling to make ends meet while I had a stable well paying job. I ended up supporting his black as-s financially, mentally, physically and all. He promised to marry me and declared undying love for me. I even went as far as giving this buffoon all the deutschmark (this was before Euro was adopted) my sister would send me every month only for him to turn around and marry another girl based in London right under my nose. Apparently, he and this chick had been boyfriend and girlfriend before she got admission to a school in London. She left and i entered the picture unknowingly. I always wondered how he was able to pay for his flat in a GRA section of Kano when he was jobless only to find out that the flat belonged to his wife and she let him stay there while she was gone. there was absolutley no indication that a woman lived in that flat when i first visited this devil's flat. He was such a scheming, conniving SOB. Once his estranged sister told me that he got married in a registry in Ikoyi, I saw red.   He told me he was travelling to Lagos for several potential job interviews with a few media houses and he might be gone for a month. I gave him all my pay check and more deutschmark so he will be comfortable. Shey this bas - tard used my money to honeymoon with his wife,  Oloshi!  

@ poster, the moral of this story is this: STOP GIVING YOUR BOYFRIEND ANY MONEY. Don't let him become too reliant on u doing stuff for him, he will take it for granted,  he has already started showing u his true colors by reluctantly giving u back the money u loaned him. That's how it begins. It's one thing for u to cook and share with him but stop with the money giving. You are not Bank of England!

pslm23:

Years and years ago, I once dated a guy that was struggling to make ends meet while I had a stable well paying job. I ended up supporting his black as-s financially, mentally, physically and all. He promised to marry me and declared undying love for me. I even went as far as giving this buffoon all the deutschmark (this was before Euro was adopted) my sister would send me every month only for him to turn around and marry another girl based in London right under my nose. Apparently, he and this chick had been boyfriend and girlfriend before she got admission to a school in London. She left and i entered the picture unknowingly. I always wondered how he was able to pay for his flat in a GRA section of Kano when he was jobless only to find out that the flat belonged to his wife and she let him stay there while she was gone. there was absolutley no indication that a woman lived in that flat when i first visited this devil's flat. He was such a scheming, conniving SOB. Once his estranged sister told me that he got married in a registry in Ikoyi, I saw red.   He told me he was travelling to Lagos for several potential job interviews with a few media houses and he might be gone for a month. I gave him all my pay check and more deutschmark so he will be comfortable. Shey this bas - tard used my money to honeymoon with his wife,  Oloshi!  

@ poster, the moral of this story is this: STOP GIVING YOUR BOYFRIEND ANY MONEY. Don't let him become too reliant on u doing stuff for him, he will take it for granted,  he has already started showing u his true colors by reluctantly giving u back the money u loaned him. That's how it begins. It's one thing for u to cook and share with him but stop with the money giving. You are not Bank of England!

I feel bad with your story, but then not all guys behave like that. There are also many ungrateful women out there, but these bad elements should not stop us from being nice and helpful. We should only do it with care.

We all need something to lean on, one time or the other in life!!!!!!

pslm23:

@ poster, the moral of this story is this: STOP GIVING YOUR GIRL[/b]FRIEND ANY MONEY. Don't let [b]her become too reliant on u doing stuff for her, She will take it for granted, She has already started showing u her true colors by reluctantly giving u back the money u loaned her. That's how it begins. You are not Bank of England!

Would it be right to correct your post and change it to the woman being dependent on the Guy As it reads above

pslm23:

Years and years ago, I once dated a guy that was struggling to make ends meet while I had a stable well paying job. I ended up supporting his black as-s financially, mentally, physically and all. He promised to marry me and declared undying love for me. I even went as far as giving this buffoon all the deutschmark (this was before Euro was adopted) my sister would send me every month only for him to turn around and marry another girl based in London right under my nose. Apparently, he and this chick had been boyfriend and girlfriend before she got admission to a school in London. She left and i entered the picture unknowingly. I always wondered how he was able to pay for his flat in a GRA section of Kano when he was jobless only to find out that the flat belonged to his wife and she let him stay there while she was gone. there was absolutley no indication that a woman lived in that flat when i first visited this devil's flat. He was such a scheming, conniving SOB. Once his estranged sister told me that he got married in a registry in Ikoyi, I saw red.   He told me he was travelling to Lagos for several potential job interviews with a few media houses and he might be gone for a month. I gave him all my pay check and more deutschmark so he will be comfortable. Shey this bas - tard used my money to honeymoon with his wife,  Oloshi!  

@ poster, the moral of this story is this: STOP GIVING YOUR BOYFRIEND ANY MONEY. Don't let him become too reliant on u doing stuff for him, he will take it for granted,  he has already started showing u his true colors by reluctantly giving u back the money u loaned him. That's how it begins. It's one thing for u to cook and share with him but stop with the money giving. You are not Bank of England!

Well, probably 99% of guys have gone through what you described with women chopping our money and yet we don't cry about giving women money. Second, She is not giving the guy money. She simply cooks for the guy and occasionally lends him money. Is that too much to do for your boyfriend? People do that for their regular friends talkless of their boyfriend. You women are just selfish and self centered. Shikena.

Thanks alot for making a complete fool outta the empty brains on this forum.
maaaaaaan,i quite understand the argument of female members cuz they are typically greedy and self centered but males? I am so disappointed.
Some things were absolutely clear here:
1. The dude just graduated
2. He is yet to get a decent job
3. His work hours are low
4. How r u sure the wage he earns is even enough for his rent?
5. She pointedly made it clear the brov neva asked for anytin,she does things using her church mind
6. she knew all this before accepting him as her b/friend so whats the bitching about?

What then is all the negative comments about. What if they were married and the husband lost his job?
Flipping Hypocrites!!

Running your mouth like this in a forum is totally unnecessary.If the poster had categorically painted the true picture,i'm sure responses would have taken a different turn.

This thread is proof positive that the vast majority of women are self centered selfish creatures. Look at all of them saying they can only do that if he is their husband. All Nigerian men also need to stop giving money to women unless the woman is married to them.

Better for you.Better for all of us.Only the lazy and needy b***hes would fall for your freaging whim and caprices.
May i add that any man that has no qualms receiving money from a woman should be classified as a jigolo.

all these men saying women are selfish for telling the poster to stop giving the guy money, na una sabi! Y'all shld stop comparing men giving their girlfriends / wives money to women giving their boyfreinds money. there's a big difference there as in we humans have been programmed to believe and rely on men being the provider. Men do not hesitate to tout the popular saying "I'm the man, I'm the head of this household, I'm the provider, I'm the one wearing the pants" when it comes to money issues etc. So, my thing is if you say u r all of that and above, do not let the woman give you money, be the man you claim to be. Even when she offers, say "NO BABE, I GOT THIS" Work 3 menial jobs if you must and if thats all there is out there so you will always have money in your pocket. It's one thing if they are married and maybe have a joint account then maybe the man can willfully spend as he wants, but as long as they are still in the dating mode, the money is hers and she needs to save it.

Someone asked what if they were married and he lost his job? Well, tough luck! If he lost his job, he needs to go out everyday and keep searching for a new one. And I'm sure that he would have received a severance pay or at least saved up some money before getting the boot. Of course she will carry the load on her shoulder but it should be only for a while. Working married couples that i've seen and know, share the responsibility of the day to day running of their homes.  My husband takes care of our mortgage payments and car notes while i take care of the utility bills and food shopping. We both take care of fueling up our cars and doing the maintenance. He lost his job a while back and i shouldered his share of responsibilites. As soon as he got another job and made his first pay, I passed it back to him with happiness.

Some people may say i'm evil or harsh, but when life has taught u a few valuable lessons when it comes to relationships, you tend to be cynical and cautious when it comes to issues regarding money, boyfriend, girlfriend.

Mekiko:

Better for you.Better for all of us.Only the lazy and needy b***hes would fall for your freaging whim and caprices.
May i add that any man that has no qualms receiving money from a woman should be classified as a jigolo.

Would it be fair to " add that any woman that has no qualms receiving money from a man should be classified as a ASHAWO".

Is that OK by all?

If its bad for Boyfriend to collect money from Girlfriend before they are married, It should also be bad for GF to collect money from BF before they are married? Are we in the clear now?

pslm23:

all these men saying women are selfish for telling the poster to stop giving the guy money, na una sabi! Y'all shld stop comparing men giving their girlfriends / wives money to women giving their boyfreinds money. there's a big difference there as in we humans have been programmed to believe and rely on men being the provider. Men do not hesitate to tout the popular saying "I'm the man, I'm the head of this household, I'm the provider, I'm the one wearing the pants" when it comes to money issues etc. So, my thing is if you say u r all of that and above, do not let the woman give you money, be the man you claim to be. Even when she offers, say "NO BABE, I GOT THIS" Work 3 menial jobs if you must and if thats all there is out there so you will always have money in your pocket. It's one thing if they are married and maybe have a joint account then maybe the man can willfully spend as he wants, but as long as they are still in the dating mode, the money is hers and she needs to save it.

Someone asked what if they were married and he lost his job? Well, tough luck! If he lost his job, he needs to go out everyday and keep searching for a new one. And I'm sure that he would have received a severance pay or at least saved up some money before getting the boot. Of course she will carry the load on her shoulder but it should be only for a while. Working married couples that i've seen and know, share the responsibility of the day to day running of their homes.  My husband takes care of our mortgage payments and car notes while i take care of the utility bills and food shopping. We both take care of fueling up our cars and doing the maintenance. He lost his job a while back and i shouldered his share of responsibilites. As soon as he got another job and made his first pay, I passed it back to him with happiness.

Some people may say i'm evil or harsh, but when life has taught u a few valuable lessons when it comes to relationships, you tend to be cynical and cautious when it comes to issues regarding money, boyfriend, girlfriend.

Yes I think you are harsh (may be not evil), though I have never had to rely on any woman finances but if all women are like you, I will never be married (for what? ), thankfully all women are not like you.

OAM4J:

Yes I think you are harsh (may be not evil), though I have never had to rely on any woman finances but if all women are like you, I will never be married (for what? ), thankfully all women are not like you.

Yup, they may all not be like me but i hope those that aren't still have some common sense in them and can tell when they are being fed a load of bull crap all in the name of love.

^^ I also hope all guys too can take a cue and stop giving their girlfriends money all in the name of love bullcrap

^^I am with dayokanu on this. They want men to help them but not otherwise

yes and no

I never wanted to comment on this but mixed reports have promted me to think otherwise.
With ur saying that the guy has no source of steady income if you re sure, helping him is no bad thing but do things with great limitations and do them on demand after i mean great persuation and convincing of u that the money is for the stuff said.
Once upon some time pretend not to have much and pray same trick to witness his reaction. Look to him directly into his eyes, u can predict sm certain things.
dont borrow/lend what you dont have. Attest of your belongings and dont try hurting/endengering ur status.
You knew how everything started, call him to a meeting and delibrate many agenda with him, i can never place an ultimatum as an advice. If really he loves you, you should/must know some of his secrets even confidential onces should some day come to your lime light.
if he does something and let it be this way i would ask you reprove him. Dont be carried away because he mentions marriage.
if truly he is the one weeping may last for a night but joy comes in the morning. Be brilliant, be clever, be intelligent and act wisely,

pslm23:

Men do not hesitate to tout the popular saying "I'm the man, I'm the head of this household, I'm the provider, I'm the one wearing the pants" when it comes to money issues etc. So, my thing is if you say u r all of that and above, do not let the woman give you money, be the man you claim to be.

yes the man is the head of household. don't mind these westernized women that are trying to wear the pants.

geosegun:

HOOPS MY GOSH!!!!.
MOST WOMEN ARE NATURALLY SELFISH. GOD HELP US OOOOOOO

[size=50pt]AMEN[/size]

Jenifa_:


yes the man is the head of household. don't mind these westernized women that are trying to wear the pants.

Head of Household only come into play when they are married. Girlfriend taking money from BF should be outlawed using your logic

im a man ( i think i am especially when i look below my belt) , anyhow, main point is this, while there is no right or wrong about supporting a guy you ar ein a relationship with for a WHILE, please, for a while is the operating word here, God did not plan that it is for ever.

A man ought to provide for his family and plan to put stuff on the table. now, going by what you elaborated, please STOP GIVING HIM MONEY!

you may as well kiss the visa fees you loaned him goodbye coz it may be the source of some major issue when you start to badger him for it and since it sounds like you are so much in love, just forget the money and also forget about cookig for him. you have begun a process you dont wanna follow you into the marriage if it hapens. you see, men can become complascent especially whjen they see a woman taking charge, men just slink into the background and that sounds like what your guy is doing. afte rteh marriage you will realize you bear 100% of all the responsibilities.

if you have teh balls, dump him, there are better men with balls worth your time, if you dont have teh balls and you believe in him, help him, QUIT GIVING HIM MONEY AND COOKING FOR HIM!

What kind of men(BF's) is the world breeding these days sef?  Good for nothing mumu's that collect money from their GF's? and what women do we even have these days sef? desperate women(like the OP) willing to lick a man's anus for commitment. any man that takes a dime from his GF is a no good, a lazy low life backside of a man.

In this kind of a case they never remember their usual "women are weaker vessels" proverb, but when things start working out well for them and they wanna show a woman that they are more superior that is when you see them screaming "You women are weaker vessels,bla bla bla. Did you not remember they are weaker vessels when you were busy collecting chop money and rent money?mschewwww

99.9% of the women that give their bf's money are desperate most of the time it is because their biological clock is already ticking fast like this Original poster

Nonsense UPON INGREDIENT

dayokanu:

^^ I also hope all guys too can take a cue and stop giving their girlfriends money all in the name of love bullcrap

See dis guy follow dey yarn opata hia . . .Ol'boy no let me open your dirty nyash hia 
@Topic,Any relationship whereby one person is doing all the giving and the other on the receiving end is not healthy.
Food however is nothing but loaning out money  when we are not married . . .Chukwu ekwela ihe ojoo,Never!!!
When u are down financially,mine is to encourage u to do side runs/jobs ,feed u,get u those basic necessities(when i can afford) and lol . . .good s.ex to keep u going but money . . . hahahahaha,what jokes 
I wont expect money from a BF either but If he gives . . .

ifyalways:

I wont expect money from a BF either but If he gives . . .

Then you take the GADDAMN money, no be you kill messiah

But seriously how do these men that take boxers/rent/chop/car/school money from gurls feel?

What wastes of manhood

dayokanu:

Head of Household only come into play when they are married. Girlfriend taking money from BF should be outlawed using your logic

If the BF offers the money for whatever reason, then GF should take it. If BF has told GF, "Babe no worry, i will give u anything u want" (this is the line men use to woo girls)  then GF shld feel no qualms taking his money. But I have seen a situation where the girl depended on her BF for financial support and after a while he started grumbling, and babe just got up, took her certificate to some companies and landed a janded job better than her BF sef. So my dear dayokanu, men like giving money to the women becos of their over inflated ego which makes them think they can use cash to control a woman's emotion by either providing or withdrawing the money.

jennykadry:

Then you take the GADDAMN money, no be you kill messiah

But seriously how do these men that take boxers/rent/chop/car/school money from gurls feel?

What wastes of manhood

Good point Jenny

ifyalways:

See dis guy follow dey yarn opata hia . . .Ol'boy no let me open your dirty nyash hia 
@Topic,Any relationship whereby one person is doing all the giving and the other on the receiving end is not healthy.
Food however is nothing but loaning out money  when we are not married . . .Chukwu ekwela ihe ojoo,Never!!!
When u are down financially,mine is to encourage u to do side runs/jobs ,feed u,get u those basic necessities(when i can afford) and lol . . .good s.ex to keep u going but money . . . hahahahaha,what jokes 
I wont expect money from a BF either but If he gives . . .

Tell dem oh Ify!

jennykadry:

Then you take the GADDAMN money, no be you kill messiah

But seriously how do these men that take boxers/rent/chop/car/school money from gurls feel?

What wastes of manhood

And why cant the man also take the GADDAM money, was he the messiah killer too?

You ladies make it seems like ladies are not the most guilty of this, one week into the relationship you start hearing stories: school fees, dress needs, important occasion, family need etc. abegii spare me.


Anyway my question is: regardless of whether he is your boyfriend or not, cant you ladies help any trustworthy friend in need, when you  are in position to do so?

pslm23:

If the BF offers the money for whatever reason, then GF should take it.

The why shouldnt the BF take the money if the GF offers?

Are you saying whats good for the goose aint good for the gander??

///

///

The fact that Nairaland is a faceless forum, one can just walk in and say anything. Somehow, I wonder why it's only the one's that claimed they'r married are, not only disagree, but also abussive and disrespectful to the OP and some other posters that aired their opinion on this thread. Claimin they share the house bills with their husband 50/50. Y'all can even say you'r the one's that even married your husbands, that's your mosquito bites.

But somwhow, I just wish the husbands of some married female NLanders are here readin what their wives are rantin in an open forum like this!

dayokanu:

Would it be fair to " add that any woman that has no qualms receiving money from a man should be classified as a ASHAWO".

Exactly!

B'cos, that is the significance of an ASHAWO / P.R.O.S.T.I.T.U.T.E (I see no difference)!!!