Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by bukatyne(f): 9:04am On Apr 18, 2020 |
deleSayo: Our marriage has always had issues from the beginning (as you can see in my previous threads) but we passed it off as normal marital issues which we eventually resolved (or so i thought).
Just when i thought things had began to improve between us, i noticed my wife is no longer interested in sex with me and counting now, it's been 6 months since we had anything to do with each other intimately. I tried to joke around about it just to find out her reasons and she joked back with me saying that for the past 6 years she's known me, i haven't changed from these habits:
1. spending all night in front if the tv, sometimes till 3am in the morning and when i eventually come to bed, i snore so bad and this made her go buy earplugs to help her cope with it. when she said this, i felt so offended that i began to sleep in the guest room and she never apologised or begged me to come back to our matrimonial bed (for 3 weeks now) 2. she always complains that i eat too much and my weight has skyrocketed within the past couple of years. and that my late nights in front of tv means im snacking throughout the night . yes this is true to be fair but the truth is that ive ballooned so much in size that i now lack motivation to do anything about it . 3. she has also complained about my breath to the point that she purchased tongue brush for me which i refuse to use as i find it quite rude that she would say such to me.
The only time we spend together as a couple is when she comes to join me in front of the tv after work. Then by 9pm she's off to bathe our son and put him to bed, from there she's goes to sleep, leaving me alone to watch tv into late hours of the night/morning.
I know for a fact that my wife isnt cheating and apart from sex we have a good friendship. but my problem with her is that her overt and covert behaviour towards sex shows someone who is irritated by me and that makes me feel quite offended.
Honestly, I don't know what you except from us. You concurred with all your wife said yet are too 'egoistic' to make changes about them. You also told us that your wife is faithful and loyal. Her telling you what is 'killing' sex quickly tells me she also misses it. I fact, she should be the one opening this thread and not you. You have the yam and the knife. Do as you will. Updates on second thoughts, let me ask you: 1. You watch TV till three snacking: what time exactly do you want to have sex with your wife? You claim to live in Lagos so you are leaving your house max 6:30pm. To show affection, your wife watches TV with you till 9:00pm before she preps if the next day. When she is done prepping, I would expect you would go to the room to meet her if you want sex. 2. She complained that you are snoring and bought earplugs so she can till sleep with you in the same room. She saw the guest room and still decided to get earplugs rather than move. Yet, you did not decide to sleep earlier and stop snacking, do decided to move out of the room. 3. Ditto your weight 4. Ditto your breadth. So my question is: Why are YOU NOT interested in sex with your wife that you constantly decide to make yourself unattractive to her? 3 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by desvi: 9:09am On Apr 18, 2020 |
bukatyne:
Honestly, I don't know what you except from us.
You concurred with all your wife said yet are too 'egoistic' to make changes about them.
You also told us that your wife is faithful and loyal. Her telling you what is 'killing' sex quickly tells me she also misses it.
I fact, she should be the one opening this thread and not you.
You have the yam and the knife.
Do as you will.
shut your mouth according to you she has given eternal consent and must do as he pleases 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Titi03(f): 9:19am On Apr 18, 2020 |
deleSayo:
you're still going on? madam please, i came here for advise. If you didn't care about NL you wouldn't still be ranting here. i know the next thing you'll do is insult me based on my topics but i dont care. They've already exposed you as someone who's childish & unstable so im expecting the worst. Please take your grievances elsewhere and stop reporting comments up and down. So sorry we allowed that miserable thing derail your thread. However, I hope you find the advise given here to be useful and please improve on your hygiene and weight. Most women won't tolerate all this. 5 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by galadima77(m): 9:25am On Apr 18, 2020 |
Maybe Seun should delegate some NL members to come and tie her down for you abi...
You're not serious. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by bukatyne(f): 9:27am On Apr 18, 2020 |
zukky79: From your writeup, it is clear that you are married to your TV.
Your TV done replace your wife.
Divorce your TV and marry your wife and enjoy your marriage. Hahahahahahahaha! |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by bukatyne(f): 9:32am On Apr 18, 2020 |
genq:
I don't joke with fitness - Fitness to a man is like beauty to a woman. It's an asset you must maintain at all costs! It determines how you are perceived and speaks volumes of your discipline and self-control.
Just read OP's previous threads, clearly someone who has no love for himself, allowed his family take advantage of him and ruin his marriage. Now he's outchea getting fatter and fatter! What a twaat!
Say no to effeminate men ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by bukatyne(f): 9:42am On Apr 18, 2020 |
Acidosis:
I pity you. There are better ways to correct a spouse than telling them they've got mouth or body odour. You're probably a kid with no form of relationship whatsoever.
Words are powerful. Saying one's mind unintelligently ultimately kills ego, self-esteem, and relationships. Interesting. How should a spouse (wife in this case) tell her husband these things? |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by crackkhaus: 9:42am On Apr 18, 2020 |
bukatyne:
Honestly, I don't know what you except from us.
You concurred with all your wife said yet are too 'egoistic' to make changes about them.
You also told us that your wife is faithful and loyal. Her telling you what is 'killing' sex quickly tells me she also misses it.
I fact, she should be the one opening this thread and not you.
You have the yam and the knife.
Do as you will.
Updates on second thoughts, let me ask you:
1. You watch TV till three snacking: what time exactly do you want to have sex with your wife? You claim to live in Lagos so you are leaving your house max 6:30pm. To show affection, your wife watches TV with you till 9:00pm before she preps if the next day. When she is done prepping, I would expect you would go to the room to meet her if you want sex.
2. She complained that you are snoring and bought earplugs so she can till sleep with you in the same room. She saw the guest room and still decided to get earplugs rather than move. Yet, you did not decide to sleep earlier and stop snacking, do decided to move out of the room.
3. Ditto your weight
4. Ditto your breadth.
So my question is:
Why are YOU NOT interested in sex with your wife that you constantly decide to make yourself unattractive to her?
Lol, good one Buka ![cool](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cool.png) Meanwhile, someone is baiting you with her alternate, yes that same person. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) 3 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by peacefulhome(f): 10:01am On Apr 18, 2020 |
pocohantas:
If you didn’t care, you won’t be here. Direct this energy to your weight loss and mouth odour, Sir. Poco!!!!!!!!! He Don do . Ha!!!!! What happen? ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Vyolet(f): 10:02am On Apr 18, 2020 |
If we say we want good-looking, neat, fit men, they would say all a woman knows is money, now your woman is disgusted by your appearance even with all your money. 7 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by deleSayo(m): 10:02am On Apr 18, 2020 |
Sterope: Wow..You are blaming your wife now im not blaming her. rather i support her a lot. we live in a 4 bed detached home with a lot of daily chores yet she refuses to take a maid. i always help her out with chores/ cooking what more does she want. |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by deleSayo(m): 10:05am On Apr 18, 2020 |
Richy4: Where u a couch patato before marriage or was that a habit that u picked up recently?... if that was a new habit please drop it..
Bad breath.. That can put any reasonable individual off at any time. It's like a switch no matter how nice u are to your spouse...it doesn't work.. Try and brush your teeth after the late night snacks.
As for snoring, I don't think Nigeria hospital has the capacity to cure that or give guidance..it takes lot of therapy to contain... .
please Do not forsake or abandon yourself because u were married. It is not a crime to still look exactly the way she found u or even better.
I was trying my very best to find a valid reasons why she shouldn't do what she was doing . But I couldn't find any. Other than for better or worse. But she has been sticking to that at least u testified to it...so look into her concerns / grievances and do something about it.
Some guys assuming reverse was the case, they would have started dating their coworkers, their secretaries, ladies across the street etc. Especially those that can't put up with dirty habits
ive always been a movie geek & football fan from childhood and it's unfair to ask me to change because of marriage. what other time do i have for my hobbies if not after work? |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by pocohantas(f): 10:06am On Apr 18, 2020 |
3 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Titi03(f): 10:13am On Apr 18, 2020 |
deleSayo:
im not blaming her. rather i support her a lot. we live in a 4 bed detached home with a lot of daily chores yet she refuses to take a maid. i always help her out with chores/ cooking what more does she want. You've got to be kidding me. I'm surprised you are still making excuses despite all that's being said here ..especially from your fellow men ![lipsrsealed](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/lipsrsealed.png) 4 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Omoluabi16(m): 10:16am On Apr 18, 2020 |
deleSayo:
ive always been a movie geek & football fan from childhood and it's unfair to ask me to change because of marriage. what other time do i have for my hobbies if not after work? Divorce your wife so you can focus squarely on your hobbies. It's either this o.p is taking the piss/trolling, or he's just being naive. 7 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Ishilove: 10:24am On Apr 18, 2020 |
bukatyne:
Honestly, I don't know what you except from us.
You concurred with all your wife said yet are too 'egoistic' to make changes about them.
You also told us that your wife is faithful and loyal. Her telling you what is 'killing' sex quickly tells me she also misses it.
I fact, she should be the one opening this thread and not you.
You have the yam and the knife.
Do as you will.
Updates on second thoughts, let me ask you:
1. You watch TV till three snacking: what time exactly do you want to have sex with your wife? You claim to live in Lagos so you are leaving your house max 6:30pm. To show affection, your wife watches TV with you till 9:00pm before she preps if the next day. When she is done prepping, I would expect you would go to the room to meet her if you want sex.
2. She complained that you are snoring and bought earplugs so she can till sleep with you in the same room. She saw the guest room and still decided to get earplugs rather than move. Yet, you did not decide to sleep earlier and stop snacking, do decided to move out of the room.
3. Ditto your weight
4. Ditto your breadth.
So my question is:
Why are YOU NOT interested in sex with your wife that you constantly decide to make yourself unattractive to her?
Good points raised |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Ishilove: 10:25am On Apr 18, 2020 |
I think the OP is trolling. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by veave(f): 10:35am On Apr 18, 2020 |
... 2 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by pocohantas(f): 10:35am On Apr 18, 2020 |
Ishilove: I think the OP is trolling. Yes he is. I knew someone smart would spot that, but then- good lesson for men on that table. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Ishilove: 10:36am On Apr 18, 2020 |
pocohantas:
Yes he is. I knew someone smart would spot that, but then- good lesson for men on that table. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Smh. This section don dey taya person. |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Twoclans(f): 10:37am On Apr 18, 2020 |
@OP from your narrative it looks like you have a family of three in that house,if this is so then I dont think making out time for sex with your wife should be a big deal.
After she puts your son to bed is it possible for you to join her in the shower when she is taking her bath ,help her scrub her back and you guys can take a shower together and there after the sex can happen even right there in the shower.
If you must spend so much time in front of the television you guys can incorporate your love making while watching movies right there in the living room.
Above all it looks like you might be lazy about sex and trying to blame your wife for the issues in the marriage. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by nickvanilla(m): 10:39am On Apr 18, 2020 |
Acidosis:
I pity you. There are better ways to correct a spouse than telling them they've got mouth or body odour. You're probably a kid with no form of relationship whatsoever.
Words are powerful. Saying one's mind unintelligently ultimately kills ego, self-esteem, and relationships. Oga Ade what's your problem? How else can someone let you know that you have mouth and body odour if they don't tell you to your face . Do you even think it is easy to live and sleep in the same bed with someone who snores, and stinks for good measure? The poor woman has probably been enduring for years since she got married and has decided it's time she told the man those things before he suffocates her. If you're the type to suffer in silence, continue. Let those who know how to speak up do do. 6 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by rex444(m): 10:53am On Apr 18, 2020 |
Sundrus: Before a clean decent woman willingly & happily open punà for u, u suppose dey neat & attractive. Whether she be ur wife or not. ![angry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/angry.png) no b lie |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by rex444(m): 10:56am On Apr 18, 2020 |
a lot of garbage going in but the problem here is ,we don't know if it's going out deleSayo: Our marriage has always had issues from the beginning (as you can see in my previous threads) but we passed it off as normal marital issues which we eventually resolved (or so i thought).
Just when i thought things had began to improve between us, i noticed my wife is no longer interested in sex with me and counting now, it's been 6 months since we had anything to do with each other intimately. I tried to joke around about it just to find out her reasons and she joked back with me saying that for the past 6 years she's known me, i haven't changed from these habits:
1. spending all night in front if the tv, sometimes till 3am in the morning and when i eventually come to bed, i snore so bad and this made her go buy earplugs to help her cope with it. when she said this, i felt so offended that i began to sleep in the guest room and she never apologised or begged me to come back to our matrimonial bed (for 3 weeks now) 2. she always complains that i eat too much and my weight has skyrocketed within the past couple of years. and that my late nights in front of tv means im snacking throughout the night . yes this is true to be fair but the truth is that ive ballooned so much in size that i now lack motivation to do anything about it . 3. she has also complained about my breath to the point that she purchased tongue brush for me which i refuse to use as i find it quite rude that she would say such to me.
The only time we spend together as a couple is when she comes to join me in front of the tv after work. Then by 9pm she's off to bathe our son and put him to bed, from there she's goes to sleep, leaving me alone to watch tv into late hours of the night/morning.
I know for a fact that my wife isnt cheating and apart from sex we have a good friendship. but my problem with her is that her overt and covert behaviour towards sex shows someone who is irritated by me and that makes me feel quite offended.
|
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Richy4(m): 10:58am On Apr 18, 2020 |
deleSayo:
ive always been a movie geek & football fan from childhood and it's unfair to ask me to change because of marriage. what other time do i have for my hobbies if not after work? No buddy.. If that's how she found u,then you need to make some adjustment to accommodate her too.. What I'm trying to say is that there are exercise you can still do while watching TV. eg Sit-up, push ups etc .. say u are watching your favorite program and there was a commercial, u can count how many sit up or push up u can do before the commercial end... it won't be a big deal if u try that every day. She needed the sex too remember.. it's not only u that was staving.. but she can stand it especially the bad breath I guess..She did not meet u with a bad breath i suppose... and u were reasonably tidy when both of u met right?... is it then fair to change that because u were married? |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Nobody: 11:11am On Apr 18, 2020 |
This weight of a thing can be corrected by eating small portions. Our normal one plate of food is what can feed a whole family. U eat to live and not eat to live. Ponder on this. As we age, our metabolic rate reduces. We don't go to school anymore( this can burn calories extremely fast) and we are no longer growing( another thing that burn calories extremely fast), guys don't play football anymore, babes don't eat 10naira biscuit and off to class. Money come our way and we feel the best way to enjoy our money is eating loads of calories.
We go to work and sit all day in the office get back tired and load food into the stomach. We all are guilty of this. Let's not solely blame the poster. If u start adding weight, your body tend to easily get tired to do basic stuffs, cos what u eat is mainly carbs and sugar, your body keep asking for more when the glucose you consume depletes fast. Foods like our normal,rice and yam or sweet potatoes are foods that can make u gain weight so easily while making you hungry the next 3 or four hours after eating them.
We don't combine food very well. The bad food are the cheapest.
I watched one food vlog and saw a family of six eating one packed of cooked spagetti. Let me say 5 cos I didn't see the father. I had to go back to that vlog several times. Go to food section and see what a person consume per meal. And it's more than that outside nairaland perfect food camera show. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by zmpp(f): 11:12am On Apr 18, 2020 |
Acidosis:
I pity you. There are better ways to correct a spouse than telling them they've got mouth or body odour. You're probably a kid with no form of relationship whatsoever.
Words are powerful. Saying one's mind unintelligently ultimately kills ego, self-esteem, and relationships. stop deceiving yourself with a false belief that you are mature and wise, you do sound stupid most of the time 4 Likes |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by peacefulhome(f): 11:13am On Apr 18, 2020 |
[quote author=Omoluabi16 post=88572913] Divorce your wife so you can focus squarely on your hobbies.
Easy way out.
How can married man keep watching TV every day till 3am and he still claim to be married.
Op, just admit you are married to you TV. |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Mariangeles(f): 1:17pm On Apr 18, 2020 |
deleSayo: Our marriage has always had issues from the beginning (as you can see in my previous threads) but we passed it off as normal marital issues which we eventually resolved (or so i thought).
Just when i thought things had began to improve between us, i noticed my wife is no longer interested in sex with me and counting now, it's been 6 months since we had anything to do with each other intimately. I tried to joke around about it just to find out her reasons and she joked back with me saying that for the past 6 years she's known me, i haven't changed from these habits:
1. spending all night in front if the tv, sometimes till 3am in the morning and when i eventually come to bed, i snore so bad and this made her go buy earplugs to help her cope with it. when she said this, i felt so offended that i began to sleep in the guest room and she never apologised or begged me to come back to our matrimonial bed (for 3 weeks now) 2. she always complains that i eat too much and my weight has skyrocketed within the past couple of years. and that my late nights in front of tv means im snacking throughout the night . yes this is true to be fair but the truth is that ive ballooned so much in size that i now lack motivation to do anything about it . 3. she has also complained about my breath to the point that she purchased tongue brush for me which i refuse to use as i find it quite rude that she would say such to me.
The only time we spend together as a couple is when she comes to join me in front of the tv after work. Then by 9pm she's off to bathe our son and put him to bed, from there she's goes to sleep, leaving me alone to watch tv into late hours of the night/morning.
I know for a fact that my wife isnt cheating and apart from sex we have a good friendship. but my problem with her is that her overt and covert behaviour towards sex shows someone who is irritated by me and that makes me feel quite offended.
One thing's for sure; she's willing to work things out, and that is the reason why she opened up. If not, she would have been silent and expected you to figure it out on your own. Rather than take correction, you took offense. 1 Like |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Acidosis(m): 1:55pm On Apr 18, 2020 |
bukatyne:
Interesting.
How should a spouse (wife in this case) tell her husband these things?
Sis, do you know a statement like "you're m.a.d" can cause two sets of reactions: provocation and laughter? That's my point. |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Mariangeles(f): 1:59pm On Apr 18, 2020 |
deleSayo:
i work a very stressful IT job (which allows me provide the high standard of living my wife has always been used to from birth). so, when i come home by 6/7pm, i enjoy relaxing with my favourite TV shows and movies. whats the crime in that? don't i deserve time for my own hobbies? Let me give you some healthy tips to help you lose some weight, keep your body healthy, and your breath smelling fresh at all times: 1. Start your day with 2glasses of warm water, first thing in the morning, on an empty stomach. (30-45mins before you have breakfast) It helps flush your system of all the junks you eat (Junks cause bad breath and plaques) If you're consistent with it, it'll also help you shed some weight by controlling your excess cravings. 2. Eat two main meals a day Breakfast or brunch and Dinner Your dinner should be eaten by at least 7:00pm (Don't be alarmed! There's a solution to that incase you go hungry) 3. Fruits and vegetables. Learn to incorporate fruits into all your meals to help balance your system. Finish up your breakfast/brunch and dinner with fruits. Once it is past 7:00pm, you can only snack on fruits and vegetables. Oranges, apples, pear, pineapples, watermelons, cucumber, carrots... These fruits help your breath stay fresh all night long, trust me. Choose 2-3 different type of fruits and vegetables per day Eating fruits also eliminates all kinds of odour, because it keeps your system clean, including your colon. Remember, moderation is key. Too much of everything is bad, including fruits and vegetables. 4. Drink water throughout the day. Ensuring you to stay hydrated, keeps you from unnecessary hunger and kills or postpones cravings. It also helps you stay fresh. 5. Brush your teeth twice a day. After the warm water therapy, before breakfast, and after dinner. 6. Minimize the snacks ( junks). I wouldn't say cut them out totally because it might be impossible for you, but cut them down to the barest minimum, and you can only have them during the day time. Follow these steps and see positive changes in your overall health. Stay fresh. Stay clean. Stay healthy. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Marriage Palava part 3 by Acidosis(m): 2:03pm On Apr 18, 2020 |
nickvanilla:
Oga Ade what's your problem?
How else can someone let you know that you have mouth and body odour if they don't tell you to your face .
Do you even think it is easy to live and sleep in the same bed with someone who snores, and stinks for good measure?
The poor woman has probably been enduring for years since she got married and has decided it's time she told the man those things before he suffocates her.
If you're the type to suffer in silence, continue. Let those who know how to speak up do do. Well, we are online -- a platform where everyone claims to have a great shock absorber even though out there, we know how many of you react when told you're fat, ugly, or a bad cook. |