There were three people, Kwame, Kisulu and Akpos, stranded on an island. Kwame looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So he announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So he swam out five miles and got really tired. He swam out ten miles from the island, and he was too tired to go on, so he drowned. Kisulu said to himself, "I wonder if the Kwame made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So he attempts to swim out. Kisulu had a lot more endurance than Kwame, as he swam out 10 miles before he even got tired. After 15 miles, he was too tired to go on, so he drowned. So Akpos thought to himself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I should better try to make it, too." So he swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but he said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So he swam back.

I parked near a filling station and now 15 cars are behind me because they think it's a queue... Me that's I'm buying Indomie!

Don't you feel cheated and angry wen you open a bag of chips only to find that it's 30% Filled? Well, Ladies... That's how guys feel when they open a padded Bra!

African Fathers are like... ME: Dad, can I have N50,000? DAD: N40,000? What do you need N30,000 for? N20,000 is more than enough! Here's N10,000, give your brother half...

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When you are using your body spray, you use it like this, "Fuuuu fuu fu." But when you borrow someone's body spray, you use it like this, "Fuuuuuuuuu Fuuuuuuuu Faaaaaa Faaaaa FaaaFaaaFaaaaa Fuuuuuu Fuuuuuuuu Fuuuuuuu Fuuuuuuu Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Faaaaaaaa Fuuuuuuu Fuuuuuuuu...." God is Watching You!!!

A helicopter was flying around above Abuja when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said , "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to the ABUJA airport and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the ASO ROCK Building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer.