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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady (3685 Views)
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I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by LITIFYED: 3:41pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
A Nigerian Man has taken to his twitter handle to recount how he faked his own death and printed an obituary poster just so he could leave the relationship he was in at that time. Read his hilarious narration below ; One time during my after defending my project, I met one sweet Post Graduate at Alakahia. She was way older than me but she was sweet. We did the talking stage for like 1 week before she agreed to come to my place and that day was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Because of small premarital sex, this woman was calling me 30 times a day. If Nepa takes her light – “Baby, you won’t believe what just happened” If the light comes back – “Baby, they brought it back oh” “Baby, our compound water tank is empty” I was even managing the calls until one Sunday she sent me her Sunday picture, she was wearing white and white. I asked her whether she was wearing a costume for a kingdom dance performance in church but she said it’s Olumba Olumba Obu. (If you know, you know) I started sweating. I got drunk that evening and told her “I’m ending this relationship. I’m not feeling it” The woman just laughed and said “Don’t worry, you will soon start feeling it” The next day, she came to the house and seduced me and I fell and forgot that I’ve broken up with her. When my eyes cleared, I broke up with her again. She just laughed and said she’ll see me tomorrow. The same thing happened again. In fact, it went on like that for weeks, I will break up, she will sexually bring me back to the relationship. One time I even blocked her number everywhere and left the house to my mother’s house for a whole week. E no work. One day after I came back, she was passing by and saw my car and I was back in the relationship. I thought deeply and enlisted the counsel of my friend and roommate @iamFrankgod and he told me what to do. I told her I was driving to Owerri for a wedding that weekend and on Monday morning Frank called her and told the babe that I had an accident and died. Obviously, the babe was devastated and tried to call me but I kept giving different people the phone to back up my story. We even designed a small Obituary poster and sent it to only her on WhatsApp so she will rest. I stayed in my mother’s house until the eve of convocation, I decided to drive to Alakahia and spend time with one new babe. I was just sitting inside my car, waiting for the babe I went to see to come out of her house when I saw my ex and her both coming out of the gate. She was obviously just escorting the new prospect to know the person who’s coming to pick her up. As I recognized her, she was also recognizing me inside the car. I wanted to come down and explain but which Ghost does that?? As she wanted to start shouting, I quickly started the car and zoomed away. She was screaming to my new babe “He’s dead oh!! Na Ghost ohh!!! EWO!!” Mtscheeew. Na your papa don die. https://litifyed.com/i-faked-my-death-and-printed-an-obituary-just-to-dump-a-lady-nigerian-writer-brian-reveals/ 24 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by adewumiopeyemi(m): 3:45pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Inconclusive 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Starz825(m): 3:47pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by FINESHIRT(m): 3:50pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Crazy 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Freelane33(m): 3:51pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
He’s a failure |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by FatherBona: 3:51pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
"I started sweating" 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Gofwane(m): 3:52pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
I've watched that movie. The title is THE UNFAITHFUL AND CHEATING GHOST. 17 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by omoiyamayor(m): 3:53pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Bro if this isn't a made up story,walai your life is very exciting,this kind of experience is what makes one' lifetime super. You are a legend. 10 Likes |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Nobody: 3:54pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Boy! That was extreme. |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Edojoma(m): 3:55pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
"Which ghost does dat" got me cracked up 6 Likes |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by daddytime(m): 3:57pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
A very entertaining tori for this lockdown. Wehdone 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Nobody: 3:58pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
different strokes for different folks and yet someone created a thread complaining his girlfreind hardly calls him or reply to his chats 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by josh123(m): 3:59pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
The story is fake but i laughed |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Nobody: 4:04pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by paulolee(m): 4:10pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
lolz...clown...good 4 d boring lockdown |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Numero9: 4:16pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
You are the FOOL! not the lady. |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Nobody: 4:18pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
This script will be a profitable deal. Lolz you just make my day. 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by EmzyT: 4:24pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
What if I fake my own death con die nkor? I cannot can oo May we not jam Dis kind of babe abeg 9 Likes
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Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by JayEntaur(m): 4:27pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Cool story, bro. But, if remotely true, that's how stories of ghosts living amongst us are birthed. 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Brunicekid(m): 4:32pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
omoiyamayor:One can't say if this one is story or real. 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Zabiboy: 4:33pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Story 4 d gods Nonsense and NCDC |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by prinsam30: 5:25pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
laff wan kee me for where I sitdown dey read this tales by moonlight 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Nobody: 5:40pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Buahahahahaaaa.... |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Nobody: 5:43pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Bomboclaat |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by pmoye(m): 5:46pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by rosieflower2(f): 6:32pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Dude is crazy 2 Likes |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Bellgal: 6:45pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
You don kill me with laugh........chai!!!!!.... Which ghost does that,,,, got me laughing ooooo 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by Bellgal: 6:46pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
You don kill me with laugh........chai!!!!!.... Which ghost does that,,,, got me laughing oooo |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by ugolinze123(m): 6:53pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Good comic write up.... You'll do well selling comic books. Nigerian comic books. |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by leosahm(m): 7:01pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
guy, this ur write up is nt funny, goan and learn how they do it..... |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by ChoCho54(f): 7:04pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
True or not.. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha 1 Like |
Re: I Faked My Death And Printed An Obituary Just To Dump A Lady by ephraim18(m): 7:24pm On Apr 24, 2020 |
Guy i don laugh here wan hit mouth for something... U can yarn gud yarn weather true or lie u just make me forget say corona dey |
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