Chi59:

I don't know why your babe talks too much. I mean what's your fvcking business with her last relationships? Now you're about to chicken out. I always say it, ladies, avoid any situation that makes you talk about your past with your (potential) boyfriend. Nigerian men are too weak minded to handle all that sh.itload of honesty.

Shut up there, what's Nigerian men are too weak minded to handle all that shit load of honesty. When they will advise you to live a decent live so u can command respect and dignity but u won't, u will discard ur home training and start living like whites, opening ur legs upandan.
Ladies should learn to keep their legs close, the more sex u have before getting married the lesser ur value. This Africa not America

My brother, No Girl is a saint. If your love is greater than your emotions, stay with her but if your emotion is bigger than your love please leave her now that there is time bcus if you guys should eventually get married, it would be difficult for you to keep a happy home; that's to say, you won't trust her

princeogbeide1:

You are explaining your guilty life on nairaland.

maybe...

You become a slay queen and flirt around With every Tom, Dick and Harry ------------- public Toilet, I can't marry Her

You stay faithful and cling to one single guy but ended up with a broken heart -----+---+--- she lived a couples life, I can't marry her

You keep your cool and preserve your diamond for the legal Miner -------___---------__ I hates Virgins I just can't marry her,
they are inexperienced and Shy.

¿??¿¿¿?¿¿¿¿¿¿¿??¿?¿¿¿¿¿
WHAT DO MEN REALLY WANT.

ayusco85:


You made a whole lot of sense but I disagree with your last statement of it being a norm in the university.
I don't know which school u went to or ur kind of cycle of friends, people that engage in such IMO have low self esteem and don't know what they came to school for, most people that Co habit are naive especially the girls.

dont get me wrong
no matter how we paint it, it has gradually become a norm in the University where certain students cohabit together which is very wrong. I saw it happen 1st hand especially when the girl lives in school hostel while the guy resides offcampus. It happens in all tertiary institutions

Btw the point is, her past is her past

Youngpo413:
it's not a big deal na.

Okafor law always applies

No need for all these stories. From the things you just said, she's good to go but bros, If you can't allow yourself see past her mistakes, kindly let her go.
Las las another person go marry am but this she'll be careful never to share her past life with anyone.

Chi59:

I don't know why your babe talks too much. I mean what's your fvcking business with her last relationships? Now you're about to chicken out. I always say it, ladies, avoid any situation that makes you talk about your past with your (potential) boyfriend. Nigerian men are too weak minded to handle all that sh.itload of honesty.

Lol. Honestly it isn’t only men, but I noticed it is worse with them. I hate EX talks. Once you keep talking about an EX (unnecessarily), I totally disconnect.

I met this guy that won’t stop talking about his EX, now I am friends with her and I don’t even know where that young man is.

Chi59:

What's that supposed to mean?

honeypot will always be fvvcked by ex...

Jasonjay101:
Please I'm new here on this platform and I just want some advice to clear my mind.

Let me just go straight to the point. My girl that we've been dating for a year plus now just told me a week ago that she lived a couple's life with her ex back in school right from when she entered 300l (4yrs course) and the guy 400l (5yrs course) and I've not been able to get over it.

It happened a week ago, we were together and she saw a post of her ex engagement to his current girlfriend and she started feeling bad, so I asked her what happened and a little bit angry with her thinking maybe she was not over her ex yet. She told me she has gotten over him but she just remembered her past so I try to console her to let go and if there's something she hasn't told me yet about her past that is still eating her up she can tell me because before now we've talked about a lot of things about our past and we've try to forgive each other and let the past be in the past.

She had told me it was this only guy she had dated and it was the same guy that disvirgined her. I was not bothered about that because I was not a virgin either. She told me she has moved on even before I came and she stayed for close to a year to heal up and all through this time I was asking her out but she never said yes and never told me she was going through heart break.

Now, it's a year and few months into our relationship, she's been a very good girl, supportive and hard working. And now she just told me this, coupled with some lies she has used to cover it up in some of our previous conversations about her school life.

I'm not perfect either and I've had my past which I have told her. I never lived a couples life back in school and it was only a girl I've also had anything sexual relationship to do with.

Why am emotionally down now is because I know what it is like to live a couples life in school. I never lived as one but I know of people that lived as such in school and I know what happens.

Now I don't know if I can forget about this and we move on. I love this girl so much and she has shown to also love me as much and I've tried to forget about what happened but most times when I see her now I tend to always remember and it eats me up.

Do you guys think I can forget about this?

Bro
Were you you thinking she would be happy seeing that? Yes, you are pissed, it is understandable, not because she felt bad seeing her ex get engaged, but because she did not tell you that part of her. She probably isn't proud of it.

But face it, is there anything you can do to turn it back? Would her telling you have made you feel better?

There are 2 things you should have as a man.
1) Acceptance criteria
2) Rejection criteria.

Both are very important but it is key you know the things you cannot accept.

If what she recently told you falls into the latter of the 2 criteria, trust me, you guys should not waste each other's time because it cannot work.

Stuffs like that don't leave our minds. Except we don't wanna be honest with each other. If you feel you can still look at her and feel what you felt for her even after that, you should stick to her then.


In all, read comments here, heed to the advice you read but be true to yourself. Forever is a long time to be unhappy. If you can't let it go, let her go

pocohantas:


Lol. Honestly it isn’t only men, but I noticed it is worse with them. I hate EX talks. Once you keep talking about an EX (unnecessarily), I totally disconnect.

I met this guy that won’t stop talking about his EX, now I am friends with her and I don’t even know where that young man is.

Gbam
Pussified men always whine about their exes who may have forgotten their existence since the 90s. It's a major red flag for me. Once you begin to badmouth your ex to me, I just disappear.
Whiny assed alfa males

Jasonjay101:


I don't think there's a place in the I post I ever said she's worse than me. And I'm not judging her either I'm only seeking advice so I can get it off my mind.
Moreso, I'm human and we all feel bad about some of these things sometimes

U don enter one chance. They will scatter your head here. My Mum RHS always said if you are not comfortable doing something, then dont do it at all

BareFacedLies:


So the same guy fúcked her continuously for at least 3 years while in school.

Trust me anytime she sees that guy again the guy will still fúck her if he still wants to.

I understand your dilemma and I don't envy you

Ask long as his penis is strong, long and big, there is some level of leverage but if its the other way round, my brother run. Three years constant bleeping non be joke, even in her imaginary world she know the dept of his peni.s she would want to feel it again

ayusco85:


Shut up there, what's Nigerian men are too weak minded to handle all that shit load of honesty. When they will advise you to live a decent live so u can command respect and dignity but u won't, u will discard ur home training and start living like whites, opening ur legs upandan.
Ladies should learn to keep their legs close, the more sex u have before getting married the lesser ur value. This Africa not America

Fvck off into eternity, you blaggard.
Black assed oaf, are you decent. Ranting around with your tiny preek seeking to make noise here.
Imp.

Jasonjay101:
Please I'm new here on this platform and I just want some advice to clear my mind.

Let me just go straight to the point. My girl that we've been dating for a year plus now just told me a week ago that she lived a couple's life with her ex back in school right from when she entered 300l (4yrs course) and the guy 400l (5yrs course) and I've not been able to get over it.

It happened a week ago, we were together and she saw a post of her ex engagement to his current girlfriend and she started feeling bad, so I asked her what happened and a little bit angry with her thinking maybe she was not over her ex yet. She told me she has gotten over him but she just remembered her past so I try to console her to let go and if there's something she hasn't told me yet about her past that is still eating her up she can tell me because before now we've talked about a lot of things about our past and we've try to forgive each other and let the past be in the past.

She had told me it was this only guy she had dated and it was the same guy that disvirgined her. I was not bothered about that because I was not a virgin either. She told me she has moved on even before I came and she stayed for close to a year to heal up and all through this time I was asking her out but she never said yes and never told me she was going through heart break.

Now, it's a year and few months into our relationship, she's been a very good girl, supportive and hard working. And now she just told me this, coupled with some lies she has used to cover it up in some of our previous conversations about her school life.

I'm not perfect either and I've had my past which I have told her. I never lived a couples life back in school and it was only a girl I've also had anything sexual relationship to do with.

Why am emotionally down now is because I know what it is like to live a couples life in school. I never lived as one but I know of people that lived as such in school and I know what happens.

Now I don't know if I can forget about this and we move on. I love this girl so much and she has shown to also love me as much and I've tried to forget about what happened but most times when I see her now I tend to always remember and it eats me up.

Do you guys think I can forget about this?

.

Bops! I don't see how u can look past that which Sha has told you abt her past! That kinda of thing will always remain in ur heart! However, since u said she has been a good girl since u met her, ifu really love her then let go of that thought and move on with her.
Do u also think if she gets to know d details of ur escapades with ur ex, she will be happy? Of course not!
The only mistake she made is sti keeping the guys memories in her device! That's a big red flag cos if u have gotten over somebody, then u need to erase that person completely, she doesn't seem to havedone that!

I don't see anything wrong in living a couple's life

Kingarthur21:
a lot of people never forget their first love,a lot of girls never forget the guy that disvirgined them. In this case her ex was both. The truth is ,the purest love a girl has for a guy is when they are young. As she grows older,she will swallow the female redpill and not date for love but who loves her and is capable of taking care of her.

She is not the first or last that feel something for an ex. Its normal, most people end up with others and not the love of their life but live perfectly fine. How many married couples do you think married the love of their life?

As for the couple living,you use the word "forgive" as though she cheated on you. The thing is she didn't. Make research ,find out if she has a high body count from sleeping with various men or he was her only sexual partner all those years.
If he was the first and only one she has been with then it doesn't necessarily makes her morally bankrupt.
Whenever someone confides in you of a terrible past, don't show shock or disappointment else they will not tell you more.

When you explain to girls that chastity is not what a guy plays with when searching for a wife they will be arguing and online motivational speakers will be advising them that they are free to have sexual prowess as a man forgetting how guys sees things is different from how ladies see things. They will be shouting "patriarchy" when you advice them.
At the end it is them that will feel used and cheated in the end if after several sex he marries another person. How many guys will feel bad or exploited after couple living only for the relationship not to work?

Let this be a lesson for all!


Check out the comments of most girls on this post, accusing him of judging her. Being skeptical about someone past and worrying if it may affect your relationship is not judging. The way most women are conscious of men financial capacity(which I support) and if he can take care of a family is the same way men are conscious of the sexuality of ladies when choosing a spouse.
They can only rant online but will they force us to marry?

You get sense. I'm proud of you bros

I think you are the problem from all you've said.. It's only nature for her to feel bad seeing her ex engaged to someone who she really care about.. living as couples mean they stayed really close and it's never easy to imagine all she must gone tru.

YOU DON'T NEED OUR ADVISE HERE

SHOW HER LOVE N AFFECTION AND MAN UP!

Let her also know your future plans before you even break her more.

FORGIVE and FORGET HER

jubrilELsudan:
YOU ARE VERY STUPID.

YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE NIGERIAN MEN WHO JUST WANTS TO POSSESS A WOMAN LIKE A PIECE OF PROPERTY.

THE PROBLEM WITH YOU IS THAT YOU CAN'T COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT YOUR MOST CHERISHED KUKUNASE, THE ONE YOU BELIEVED ONLY YOU HAS TASTED AND WILL NEVER BE TASTED BY ANOTHER MAN AS LONG AS YOU ARE ALIVE HAS ACTUALLY BEEN TASTED AND CHOWED INTO SHREDS BY OTHER GUYS IN THE PAST.


GET OVER THAT STUPID NIGERIAN MONSTER MENTALITY WHERE YOU BELIEVE YOU OWN A WOMAN AND HAS FULL COSTODY TO HER KUKUNASE.


IT'S HER KUKUNASE. IT'S ON HER BODY. SHE HAS FULL CUSTODY OF IT. IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU EVEN IF YOU GO AND MARRY HER IN FRONT OF THE POPE.

with what you wrote, it is people like you that chase after married women...

stormborn28:



Okafor law always applies

that is certain....moreover,it is good to fùck any lady that comes your way like no tomorrow cus same is done to your future wife...assuming op was a fùcker he won't sound so helpless....i'm sure him na all these gud guys wey dey struggle before them get one babe...

12345baba:
I don't see anything wrong in living a couple's life

no lady will see anything wrong with this. Because they know the implications yet they don't mind living such life. While guys takes advantage of the lady(chop and clean mouth)

[s]

xendra:
Just because you didn't leave a couples life now you think she is worse that you y is it that we humans only call what we don't do sin? But if we do it then its ok

[/s] shut the hell up.
I have always been observing your dumb comments on this forum.
The way you reason I doubt you're educated.
Typical village girl with poor comprehension

jamesversion:
@jasonjay101, xendra & bjprodint, what is couple's life and how does it different from normal school bf/gf relationship. I need to get a clearer picture. thank.

Couple's life is like that of married people in which both the girl and the guy live together. The girl performs all wify duties (which she always frown at when at home) like washing clothes and plates and tiding the room all for free with the guy reciprocating by giving her the hottest of all pussy digging any time, any day.

Red flag! Red flag!!

Jasonjay101
Do this simple test: End the relationship and give her full details why. If you're able to continue without her, youvé made a good choice. And if you can't stop thinking about her and you're a miserable wreck, then run into her arms stupid boy . Apologize and let her know you just wanted to be sure and be in a state of confusion..

Our emotions have a tendency to overcome our rational side.

There was this kid recently who was harassing me for me. I had to be very harsh on him or he'd not let go. This is a 17-year-old who called my brother-in-law 52 times in a day! My inlaw almost got fired from his job.

Now, he's been incommunicado and I wonder whether I've been too harsh and mean. I pray he does no harm to himself.

Jasonjay101
Do this simple test: End the relationship and give her full details why. If you're able to continue without her, youvé made a good choice. And if you can't stop thinking about her and you're a miserable wreck, then run into her arms stupid boy . Apologize and let her know you just wanted to be sure and be in a state of confusion.

Our emotions have a tendency to overcome our rational side.

There was this kid recently who was harassing me for me. I had to be very harsh on him or he'd not let go. This is a 17-year-old who called my brother-in-law 52 times in a day! My inlaw almost got fired from his job.

Now, he's been incommunicado and I wonder whether I've been too harsh and mean. I pray he does no harm to himself.

rosalieene:

dont get me wrong
no matter how we paint it, it has gradually become a norm in the University where certain students cohabit together which is very wrong. I saw it happen 1st hand especially when the girl lives in school hostel while the guy resides offcampus. It happens in all tertiary institutions

Btw the point is, her past is her past

Yeah but there are some past that are hard to live with, because of all the scenarios that plays in ones head

Oga, you don't have any problem.

Next please!!!

Learnstuffs:
The problem is not about your girlfriend living as a couple with the guy in the past. The real issue is that she is still in love with the guy. Trust me, she can still go behind and cheat with him. Okafor's Law is f**king real

From the way you are sounding, you seem to love her so much that's why you are feeling so bad. I will advice you to thread carefully.

Bobo free this Okafor’s law it’s only a postulation or mere hypothesis

Everyone has a past, what would have happen if she told you her past when you eventually get married to her, since she has told you her past and you have your own past and she has forgiven you and forgot what happened, why can't you do the same, after all someone will still marry her no matter her past.