kakadinho0880:
Seems like the anti spambot has banned him again..

mynd44 farano kindly unban waywardpikin / waywardpikin1..

Thanks my G, I remember you.


How's it hanging?

waywardpikin:


Thanks my G, I remember you.


How's it hanging?

We are doing good and hoping for the best as well.

Compensate us for the posts that were hidden oo..

You can give us like 5 posts today make we move the ministry forward

Moura7:
lit

Thanks Moura7

kakadinho0880:

We are doing good and hoping for the best as well.
Compensate us for the posts that were hidden oo..
You can give us like 5 posts today make we move the ministry forward

Lol you know what? I'll take you up on that. But it will be just one update.

Dedicated to kakadinho0880


After we finished enjoying ourselves it was time for the girls to leave, her two friends introduced themselves to me with glee and I did the same. I forgot their names almost immediately. From there I went to the Indomie guy to pick up my imported parcel of MJ. In fact, having that MJ in my pocket was the greatest highlight of my entire day. I'd missed her so much! I was so glad that I wouldn't have to go through camp sober, the thought was freaking depressing. He said people rolled that shit up and smoked it in Mami market but it sounded so risky to me as most of the soldiers knew the smell of MJ seeing as they smoked that shit up as well. I resolved to just chew the herbs in small doses and savor the high that came from that. I put a call through to Hajia who asked me to meet her at the parade ground. I went to meet her and sat on a seat she'd reserved for me. There was a show going on, didn't know what it was about. In Lagos camp, there is a show EVERY single night for one thing or the other, these people were always celebrating. The cool breeze serenaded both of us as we both gisted and laughed with each other. She told me about her
toasters (translation: suitors), and about how guys
had been disturbing her life in the camp.

"They don't even care about the fact that I have a boyfriend. Can you just imagine?"

"Don't mind them. But seriously, you can't blame them. Have you looked in the mirror before? You are the most beautiful Hajia I have ever seen in my life," I teased. She tapped me playfully on my shoulders, just then her phone began to ring. She looked at it and hissed, shoving the phone into my face.

"Just look, one of them is calling me again."

"Why don't you just answer it and hear what he has to say?"

"For what? Every time he will want to know where I am, he will be asking us to hang out. What's he looking for? Can't he take a hint?" She hissed again.

"Well, I think you should give him a chance. You never can tell," I said, as the Solicitor-in-Chief for guys' affairs that I was.

"Please let's talk about something else. Where were you earlier? Mami market, right?"

"Yes."

"With who?" She queried.

"My friends."

"Hmmm, are you sure? Or you were with some ladies?"

"Ladies? Come on, I don't do such," I replied innocently as she yimu-ed (translation: a facial expression one makes when they don't believe a word you're saying) me.

"Come to think of it, I hardly see you with any guy, you're always walking alone. Why?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's because I already have a camp bestie."

"Who is that?'

"You of course," I said, looking into her eyes. She smiled and blushed happily, before resting her head on my shoulders as we watched Corps Members climb the stage to display their God-given talents including the Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and the downright Atrocious. It was a fun night as we laughed, applauded and criticized each of the contestants. Every night, Lagos camp was divided into two worlds: Mami market on one side, and the parade ground on the other, where shows were held every night. Many nights it was such a struggle choosing between the two worlds until she-who-must-not-be-named came in and tipped the scales in the favor of one of the worlds. If you were a sadist, you would probably always want to stay in the hostel. But why do that here and now when you could also do the same thing in your family house? Life is meant to be lived! That is my philosophy anyway. The parade ground provided the avenue to still catch your fun without spending cash, and believe me, it is in this zone that majority of the smoochers and current tappers (translation: people who groped others to gain sexual satisfaction) resided. Dark corners everywhere, appealing to the sinners like, "Come all
ye who desire to grab ass and suck perky breasts, for
I shall provide ye shelter."

After the show, the bugle blew by 10 pm and it was time for everyone to go to the hostel. I escorted Hajia to the front of the hostel but I was at a loss on what to do next. Should I shake her hand or give her a hug? We stood there talking for a while as was the custom in camp every night, guys and girls paired off in unholy groups; saints and sinners congregating in a futile attempt to stretch the moment out a little longer only to start the process all over again the next day. When it was time for Hajia to leave, I simply waved her goodnight. Like I said earlier - new uncharted territory for me. I got to my room prepared to shower and have a nice enjoyable sleep only to be greeted by what can only be described as a hero's welcome:

"Baddest guy, you're The Man."

"Wayward Pikin we saw you with three Slay Queens, do you want to kill yourself?"

"Mehn, you are a bad guy! Who was that fine Muslim girl I saw you with?" Another guy added.

"You saw him with another babe?" Someone asked

"Yes."

"This same night?"

"That's what I'm telling you!"

"We saw him at Mami market with three fine babes! Just him."

"Daaaaaaaaaamn!" A bunch of them chorused.

They teased me endlessly and all I could do was smile as the allegations and encomiums kept pouring in.

"Who is that Muslim girl to you though?" Mazi, a guy who sold pink lips balm in the room asked me.

"She's just a friend," I replied, my voice almost a whisper as the entire room stared at me. Obviously, they had been discussing my matter before I arrived.

"You said what?" He asked again.

"She's just a friend."

"Lies!" The whole room chorused in disbelief.

"Lies from the deepest pits of hellfire," someone shouted.

"In that case, my mother is a virgin!" A very darkskinned bloke screamed.

"After that drama you pulled today, you still have the guts to yab another person?" Someone else said to the dark-skinned bloke.

"What drama?" I asked out of curiosity.

"You don't know? He's one of those people that fainted on the parade ground today."

"You don't mean it?" I said incredulously. Remember when I said about seven people fainted? I had assumed that it was all girls, not knowing a guy was among them, much less, someone in the very same room as me. Unsurprisingly, he was now in soup, as the whole room turned to face him.

"If you see the way this guy fainted..." someone was saying.

"Like a sack of beans! We thought he was going to die." Another dude completed the gist. We all burst out laughing as we threw jabs upon jabs at the poor dude.

Needless to say, he was the first person to fall asleep that night.

waywardpikin:


Lol you know what? I'll take you up on that. But it will be just one update.

It will be appreciated..

*Smiles*

I love this story

Abeg wayward pikin more update ooo.. U just dey make me remember my camp in enugu state

Chei waywardpikin u don finish me with laff. U took me back to my service days.
BTW, you are a wonderful storyteller

CHAPTER 3: THE STING OF REJECTION

It was the same ritual the next day, and I found myself on the parade group with other Corps Members by 4 am, thinking about my life and wondering who I might have offended to find myself awake by this time. On the parade ground, we lined up according to platoon, just like we used to line up by class during assembly in secondary school. I was such a restless soul, I would shift the weight of my body from one leg to the other, and if I was at the back, if I got too restless I would go to the middle of the line and perch there, either to listen to gist or banter with someone I'd only just met. If it got too quiet or my legs were itching, I'd move to the front of the line to see what was happening there. I'd made my rounds from the back of the line to the middle, and was about to move to the front when someone tapped me lightly on the shoulder. I turned and my heart leaped for joy. It was Nife!

Like Michael Jackon, I did the moonwalk and slid behind her, her big ukwu (translation: ass) brushing my groin softly. Suddenly, the morning drills were not so monotonous and torturous anymore, as I was on top of my game, the jokes spilling non-stop. I had her laughing and tapping my shoulders as I unleashed the funny side of me. When it was time to do the exercises, in which we mimic the moves of the soldier addressing the assembly, I participated with rapt attention, like I was preparing for the Olympics. Then the soldier started to jump. I wanted to start jumping too, but then I saw Nife jumping in front of me, and my brain short-circuited. Everything was jiggling in various directions (boobs, ass & various condiments) and it took the sheer force of will to concentrate. Then we started what could pass as an endurance walk. We gisted as we walked, and one thing I liked about Nife was that she was so fit. She was also representing our platoon in the volleyball competition. She asked how I was enjoying camp and I opened the book of lamentations for her. I told her how I almost died on the first day of resumption, how my legs almost gave out, and how I wished I could fast-forward till the end of camp. I asked how her first day was for her and she said it was fine, that she enjoyed it. I looked at her with shock in my eyes.

"So you didn't feel any pain? Your legs weren't shaking or anything?"

"No, it was pretty normal to me."

"Wow, you're really strong. Are you sure you don't pound yam for a living?"

She laughed and tapped me playfully on my shoulder and I felt like I was in heaven. I wished she would never stop touching me.

In my mind, I was like, 'Touch me, baby... Finish me! Destroy my destiny!'

Our trek soon broke into a jog, and the soldiers began to sing a couple of really funny songs which we all grabbed pretty quickly.

"SHOE. GET. SIZE! OKRIKA GET QUALITY!!!"

"IF CORPER MARRY CORPER DEM GO BORN
MUMU!"

And this call-and-response song which is actually my favorite:

"OYA HOL' SOMETHING!! HOL' SOMETHING!! HOL' SOMETHING!! HOL' SOMETHING!!"

As shouts of "Hold Something!" rented the air, some unruly Corps Members actually grabbed the buttocks of the females in front of them. After all, the instruction was to hold something, and obedience they say is better than sacrifice. Surprisingly, the female Corps Members didn't complain. They also seemed to be having fun. I looked at Nife's ripe, succulent ass in front of me but I couldn't bring myself to grab it. Not just yet.


***

nastynic:
*Smiles*


I love this story

Thanks nastynic

ghettochild4u:
Abeg wayward pikin more update ooo.. U just dey make me remember my camp in enugu state

I bet you had a wonderful time.

ijaw1stson:
Chei waywardpikin u don finish me with laff. U took me back to my service days.
BTW, you are a wonderful storyteller

Thanks man. It means a lot.

Waywardpikin, nice story.


This post too short..

Overshort dae worry the post

Nice peice of work put together, can't wait for the next chapter.

kakadinho0880:
Waywardpikin, nice story.


This post too short..

Overshort dae worry the post

Lol so sorry about that kaka

Sologzy:
Nice peice of work put together, can't wait for the next chapter.

12 noon bruv.

wayward pikin you're talented i just but laugh the way you described Nife when she was doing frog jumps,omo some girls gat that ukwu of a thing ooo, can't wait till 12noon today for your next update

In the afternoon of that day, I found myself at the place where they charge phones. I'd come to pick up mine. I usually felt sick whenever I was not with my phone. The phone was about 98% charged but I was determined to wait there until the battery was full to get my money's worth. As I sat there, my mind drifted off as it usually does. I was thinking about everything and nothing, I was there but I wasn't there. All of a sudden the sound of fingers snapping in front of my face dragged me back to reality. I looked up, and it was Nife looking at me with an amused expression on her face.

"Why is it that anytime I see you, you are always looking lost and confused?" She asked me.

Um... Maybe it was because I had zero friends, was bored most of the time and had been hating my stay in camp so far?

"It's because of you, I'm always wondering where you are. You're like a ghost. It's like you hardly come out of your hostel?"

"Maybe. If it's not about morning drills or afternoon drills I usually just stay in the hostel."

"What of in the evenings? Would you like to hang out? Maybe at Mami market or wherever. That could be fun," I asked. My heart was beating terribly on the inside while I maintained a cool expression on the outside. For some reason, I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really liked her.

"Sure, no problem."

"Great!" I said excitedly as I unplugged my phone, mindless of whether or not it was full enough. Who cared about such trivial things in the presence of this regal queen?

"Can I have your number before I forget? Because I seem to always forget," I asked with humility that would shock my closest friends. The power of a woman.

She gave me her number and I got the heck out of dodge, walking away as coolly and as casually as I could in case she was staring after me, but in my mind, I was shrieking like a secondary school girl! Tonight was gonna be the bomb, and I wasn't talking about Osama.


I finally had her number!


***


I sat at my table staring at my phone with a slight frown on my face. I had been calling Nife but she wasn't picking. I was at Mami market with my roommates, and we'd occupied one full table. Biggie, a tall chubby dude sat at the head of the table like the Don Corleone of our unholy association, with two girls on either side of him. I'd been to my favorite joint at Mami market almost every night and each time I went there I saw him with different girls, drinking and smoking. Unofficially, the dude was my role model. The waitress came around, rubbing my shoulders seductively as she asked what I would be having. They all knew me at Mami market, supposedly because I was a big spender. Once these girls identify you as a money bag, they become extra friendly for tips and are willing to hook up with you after camp for extracurricular activities if you catch my drift. I had only just gotten there so I ordered for a cold bottle of Orijin, momentarily distracted by the waitress's big boobs. I watched hungrily as she walked away, and willed myself to focus on the matter at hand.

Where was Nife? I wondered angrily. Why wasn't she picking my calls?

I had already given her three missed calls so I refrained from calling her any further. Even the message I'd sent her on WhatsApp, she failed to reply. I decided to take my mind off it and just enjoy myself. Looking around, it felt like I was in the committee of dragons, everyone was smoking up, the air cloudy and hazy as people hugged their cancer sticks for dear life. Even the ladies were not left out. This was the worst place for someone like me to be, as I had stopped smoking for over a year now, presumably for good. I breathed in hungrily, the familiar smell of nicotine flooding my lungs. I had been resisting the urge to smoke in camp for a while now, but the way I was feeling, coupled with the fact that most of the guys around me were involved in this vice, convinced me to join in. I requested for a stick from the pack that was with Teejay, arguably the lousiest and most jovial guy of us all. He happily handed one stick over and hailed me as I lit it, dragging on the cigarette as the poisonous fumes filled my lungs. I exhaled slowly, and it felt awesome. And that was how I threw away over one year of not smoking down the trash can. I was still feeling giddy from the MJ I'd chewed earlier, and combining it with the cigarette and the cold bottle of Orijin got me feeling on the right side of Cloud 9. Most of my roomies at the table were paired off with babes, while I sat there by myself, romancing the cold green bottle in front of me. Hajia was calling me again and I would have liked to invite her over but this really wasn't her scene. I knew she would regard me and all my cronies as evil people who were going to perish in the Muslim version of hell. I didn't intend to change her perception of me so I didn't pick up the call. Besides, we spent most of the day together. Anywhere I went, she went. Anywhere you saw her, there I was too. But in the night time, yours truly loved to fly solo in order to indulge my darker cravings. My roommates and I all ended up pretty high and I soon forgot about Nife, having a very good time, laughing hysterically at jokes, and occasionally flirting with any female I caught staring at me. In summary, it was an interesting uneventful night. The irony.

It was almost 10 pm when I got to the hostel and saw guys and girls gathered in front of the premises acting all romantic, and I started missing Nife again; wishing I could use a koboko (translation: cowhide, pure leather) to flog all of them standing there for reminding me of my pain. I got to my room and went to the bathroom to shower, ignoring the sound of some dude vomiting his guts out in the toilet. Wasn't my business as long as he remembered to flush. I got to my bed and was preparing to sleep, ignoring the noise of my drunk and hyperactive roomies all around me. Just then, my phone beeped.

It was a WhatsApp message from Nife.

"Hey dear," Her message read. My heart fluttered when I saw it was her and I replied almost immediately.

"Don't hey dear me. Are you just seeing my messages and missed calls?"

"I'm so sorry I was tied up."

"Tied up with what?" I demanded to know.

"Lol."

Lol? What the hell was funny?

"Only God knows the unfortunate guy that is taking you away from me."

"Don't worry dear. We'll see tomorrow okay?"

"If you say so," I replied.

"I say so."

We bid each other goodnight and I lay on my bed with my eyes wide open, feeling less confident than I'd ever felt in a long time.



***

Waywardpikin, thanks for the post.

The posts are getting shorter and shorter..

Help us oo..

Edakun

royalguy123:
wayward pikin you're talented i just but laugh the way you described Nife when she was doing frog jumps,omo some girls gat that ukwu of a thing ooo, can't wait till 12noon today for your next update

Hahaha thanks man

kakadinho0880:
Waywardpikin, thanks for the post.

The posts are getting shorter and shorter..

Help us oo..

Edakun

More pls!

N I hope itz not whT I'm thinking?

busybrains:
More pls!

Tomorrow

busybrains:
N I hope itz not whT I'm thinking?

What are you thinking?


You know what? Don't answer that

Following

I'm of the opinion that sleep is sweetest from 4 am to 6 am. The exact period that life sometimes demands most of us to wake up.

So it was with tears in my eyes that I woke up the following morning. I was always the last person to get up from bed, myself and one guy named Ramsey. I noticed Ramsey because we both stayed on the top bunk, and any time I woke up I'd observe him fiddling through his things like he was looking for something, but I noticed that he wasn't really doing anything - more like biding his time. Long after I was conscious I would still remain in bed with my eyes closed, aware of everybody else preparing to leave the hostel, cursing both the sound of the bugle and the person speaking on the PA system.

God, why?

I would eventually get up and prepare in record time to join everybody else. But in my mind, this had to stop. I had to come up with a plan to start skipping these morning drills, for my own sanity at least. I took another route to join the others at the parade ground because the soldiers were strategically positioned at the entrance of the hostel, punishing those who were joining the rest of the group late. I could see them from afar being made to frog-jump and I just felt more weary of the whole NYSC process.

As I joined up with my platoon, Nife immediately came to mind and I started scanning the area but saw no sign of her. I was a bit disappointed, the thought of seeing her always got me so excited. But at the same time, I was beginning to feel this slight trepidation at my over excitement. I was halfawake/half-dozing throughout the morning drill, and the fact that I did it while standing was an even more impressive feat. After the exercises, we were split into groups for lectures. My group was made to sit on the ground as NDLEA officials came around to enlighten us on the dangers of drug abuse. Perfect opportunity to sleep. The pot-bellied official spoke passionately on the dangers of substance abuse. He said he knew of someone who smoked MJ which drove him insane and that his family members had been searching for a cure for him since then. I woke up for a few seconds to eye the man angrily.

"Why was he talking anyhow about my darling MJ? Why the lies?" I thought to myself. Anyway, that wasn't going to make me quit my relationship with her. We loved each other way too much.

After the whole thing, I got back to my hostel room to see Maintenance lying comfortably on his bed with all the confidence of a Lagos landlord. I was the first person to get to the room, which made me wonder how he got there.

"Maintenance, you didn't go for morning drills?"

"I decided to sleep instead. I followed those Muslims then branched off into the hostel," he explained.

"What if the soldiers had caught you?"

"Then I'll simply show them my ID card," he retorted, flashing an ID card hanging around his neck proudly.

At the start of camp, they announced the need for representatives from each platoon for categories such as; debate, health, welfare, education, food & nutrition, maintenance, and socials. Unsurprisingly, most people only wanted to represent their platoon in the socials category, especially the ladies. The people representing in each of the categories mentioned are more like prefects, as Maintenance made me understand. He elected to be the Maintenance representative for his platoon since it was a role that most people resented. The duties of those in Maintenance included checking around all the rooms in the hostels and reporting any incidence such as a flooded toilet, a creaking fan, or a burnt-out bulb. Somehow, my bunkie ended up having a lot of clout and influence in camp. He could enter in and out of anywhere within the premises, including the girls' hostel. And if anyone dared to stop him, all he had to do was flash his badge at them like an FBI agent and say "Maintenance" and they would free him with much reverence. That was how he got the name. Till today, none of us remember his real name.

I frowned as he told me this, angry at the fact that he had all these powers and special abilities, yet our fan was not working. Every morning I woke up drenched in sweat as my bunk was directly under the only working bulb in the room and somehow, the lights were almost always on, causing me undue discomfort. He laughed and told me he was working on it, that I should trust him after all his name was Maintenance.

He never got it fixed, the little weasel.

As I was talking with him, I saw someone else materialize from under a bed at the far end of the room. It was Ramsey, fine, light-skinned, tall and muscular. My mouth hung open in shock.

"Ramsey, you've also stopped going for morning drills? How do you do it?" I asked desperately.

He laughed heartily and said, "Don't worry, I have my ways."

Was that the answer to the question I asked?

"Don't worry, I will soon have my ways too."


***


Afternoon drill came and I saw my sweetheart Nife. I asked her where she was in the morning and she said she was in the hostel.

"What? You too? How do you do it?" I desperately asked.

She looked at me and smiled, "I have my ways."

"You have your ways abi? You have started joining bad gangs."

She laughed, tapping my shoulder and smiling shyly.

We spent most of that afternoon learning the marching drills, and assigned to our platoon was this terrifyingly hulking man. He must have been about 7 feet tall, shoulders so broad he probably had to fit through a doorway sideways, with a face black like death. Needless to say, he terrified the shit out of all of us. After the initial torturous experience which was subtly becoming a routine to most of us, Nife and I agreed to hang out that night. Unfortunately, it was Deja Vu all over again - I was at Mami market with a frown on my face staring at my phone, I'd given her a few missed calls but she wasn't picking; I'd sent her messages on WhatsApp but she never replied, and I was being hailed by Teejay for smoking for the second night in a row.

Hanging out with my roomies every night was becoming a ritual. They were mostly kids from private universities, with a pinch of guys from federal and state universities. So our table was always filled to the brim, because before you buy something, someone else is offering to buy, and another is vouching for the next round after that. I was on my fourth bottle of Orijin and feeling sufficiently stoned when I suddenly had this urge to go for a walk. I told my guys that I was coming back and I began to take a leisurely stroll, enjoying the cool evening breeze. I was lost in thought, as usual, thinking about my life as I always do, when something just ahead caught my eyes.

I saw Nife walking with this other dude from our platoon with his hand across her shoulders. The sight of her with another guy felt like a gut-wrenching punch to my stomach.

So this was the reason why she'd blown me off for two days in a row.

I headed back to my table at Mami market and drank a few more bottles in total silence while contemplating the pain I was feeling in my chest. That very familiar pain that I dread so much. I got to the hostel and against my better judgment, I decided to try and chat her up. Her replies were noncommittal and signaled disinterest, but I was determined to try a little harder. I tried to change my approach by being a bit naughty, flirt a little and maybe try to pique her interest:

"That thing you're carrying behind you, remember to have mercy on all those camp guys and soldiers that will want to die on top of your matter," my message teased.

I expected my message to elicit a positive reply or get her laughing or speaking more openly or something - anything! But Nife read my message and couldn't even be bothered to reply. What followed next was a series of unfortunate events that I'd much rather forget than remember.



***



Thoughts?

ImModern:
Following

Thanks for following. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Bless!

But you seem to have had it pretty easy at your camp. All the complaints so far has only been about waking up early and drills...nothing about the nightmarish saed lectures that takes forever and forever. And you spend so much time at mami, I'm beginning to wonder if they never come to chase y'all out...you could even manage leisure walks...pretty easy camp experience you had waywardpikin

waywardpikin:


Thanks for following. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Bless!

Your last update was nice. I think why nife wasn't replying you well was because she probably had sensed the red flag that u just wanna sleep with her

Even the message you sent to her was kind of rude and may have given you off as a pervert.. Just my opinion tho.

Waywardpikin, give us more updates..

No do us like this na