.

Until you stop groveling at the feet of a man who doesn't give a hoot about your existence, your self-esteem will continue to depreciate. I don't know where ladies got the erroneous idea that when guys are faced with difficulties, they tend to ignore or undermine their lovers. It is precisely an escapist lie ladies told themselves to feel better. However, this is inaccurate on all accounts.

Your duty is to reach out to him, to ensure that communication channels are not hampered by you. If he reciprocates, fine. If he doesnt, know you what to do. Anything else is akin to closing the stable door when the horse has bolted. There is no need to wear a long face because someone ignores you, it might be an opportunity to start assessing and listening to those whom you have disregarded.

Smkinhawt:
Hello nairalanders

I struggle to type this. Recently I do not know what went wrong in the relationship with my lover. All of a sudden, he stopped replying my texts frequently. He Stopped giving me long replies and hardly messages me unlike before. I tried to ignore it because I felt he was passing through something he does not want to share with me. I know it might sound awkward. He hardly tells me what is bothering him. Yet I asked him what was wrong but he did not tell. This makes me sick and sometimes I feel useless in his life. Maybe I should move on. I can not continue like this anymore. These days I am unproductive. I need someone to talk to. I am tired of being shadowed and ignored. I can stay without a man in my life but I really want a friend to pour my heart to. Someone that shares talks with me and vice versa. I do not want a sexual relationship either. Does anybody get me?

I am. Also going tru the same thing is just that i am a male. Life can be funny at times

Smkinhawt:
Hello nairalanders

I struggle to type this. Recently I do not know what went wrong in the relationship with my lover. All of a sudden, he stopped replying my texts frequently. He Stopped giving me long replies and hardly messages me unlike before. I tried to ignore it because I felt he was passing through something he does not want to share with me. I know it might sound awkward. He hardly tells me what is bothering him. Yet I asked him what was wrong but he did not tell. This makes me sick and sometimes I feel useless in his life. Maybe I should move on. I can not continue like this anymore. These days I am unproductive. I need someone to talk to. I am tired of being shadowed and ignored. I can stay without a man in my life but I really want a friend to pour my heart to. Someone that shares talks with me and vice versa. I do not want a sexual relationship either. Does anybody get me?

I also need someone to talk to.. If you dont mind chatting me up

Smkinhawt:


I am not a kind of girl that likes taking from men. Be it attention or whatever. The thing is he is the one that gets angry at me whenever I don't tell him things bothering me. Like he gets really mad. But when it comes to his, I am kept in the dark and left to guess. There is a change in his attitude. He normally does not like telling me what is bothering him but wants me to tell him what is bothering me. It has gone on for years. I know what it feels like not being able to contribute to someone's life but yet the person is always there for you. That is the way he built his relationship with me. Not taking from me. Only interested in me. So it has been frustrating.

Some of us are like that, we are not ready to disturb you with our ordeals but we are ready to shoulder yours. Relax and keep checking on him either through call or visit. You can talk to him when he returns to his normalcy that you want to be part of his entirety, you want him to carry you along, you want to feel his pains..... Tell him you want him to be telling you his challenges, he probably might change.

People who don't like communicating their feelings to their partners can be very frustrating, when you're with such people, you'll be confused most of the time, always wondering what the problem is, spending your precious time trying to decipher why someone is acting in a certain way, it's really frustrating and I don't think anyone deserves to go through that. Personally, I wouldn't remain in a relationship with such a person because dating such people can be emotionally draining, they make you think and guess a lot. I think you should talk to him about it, if his response is not satisfactory then you should leave for the sake of your sanity and peace of mind.

MOnkeyBabe:
we are GOing through the Same thing, lOve.
Stay STRONG

Come lemme snap you

Smkinhawt:
Hello nairalanders

I struggle to type this. Recently I do not know what went wrong in the relationship with my lover. All of a sudden, he stopped replying my texts frequently. He Stopped giving me long replies and hardly messages me unlike before. I tried to ignore it because I felt he was passing through something he does not want to share with me. I know it might sound awkward. He hardly tells me what is bothering him. Yet I asked him what was wrong but he did not tell. This makes me sick and sometimes I feel useless in his life. Maybe I should move on. I can not continue like this anymore. These days I am unproductive. I need someone to talk to. I am tired of being shadowed and ignored. I can stay without a man in my life but I really want a friend to pour my heart to. Someone that shares talks with me and vice versa. I do not want a sexual relationship either. Does anybody get me?

I'm in need of a friend too.

IAmSkinny:

Come lemme snap you

for Real? ARe you A PhOtoGRAPher?

MOnkeyBabe:
for Real? ARe you A PhOtoGRAPher?

Evidence https://www.nairaland.com/5660603/professional-photographer-heres-mini-portfolio

Lots of ish ish about him (guys) keeping things to himself more than reporting or complaining to you (ladies).Most answers and that gs gets as supposed consolatory is "God will do it,its just for a moment, I understand how you feel,you are not alone, I will give you emotionally supports,I am praying for you (this one make sense) I want to encourage you empty non committed talks
Where as,the concerned guy needs money to meet a need.
When you were in need if airtime, house rent,phone,new hairdo,bags,school fees,etc,you just flashed he did the Calling, you narraed all you life problem at his expense.
He is in need he notified you, you kept your resources,even widow's mite and be forming god bless you kind of prayers.
He understands you are not useful, so he is concern in fixing his daily life concerns,the hypocritical n manipulating side of you is trumpeting "he is keeping things to himself"
He will have to cos you are not useful or relevant to him

XhosaNostra:



It's a slippery slope because he could also be a game player who's not worthy of any sympathy.
If he's going through "stuff", then shouldn't she be his place of comfort as his partner, even if he's not spilling out his guts to her in the process? Radio silence just make it seem like you don't matter much in someone's life & imo, should be met with the kind of disdain it deserves.

You have a rigid approach to issues(general observations) which makes you limited and rather unintelligent (no pun intended).

Many variables influence behaviours, some of which we cannot influence which means that people are sometimes victims or victors of situation they have no control over.It is important to address issues from other people pimportant to address issues from other people perspective and have an open minded approach.

There's nothing slippery sloped about that,while some men who exhibit that attitude are players, some are not and do not necessarily have bad intentions. I have been in that position where I did not tell my partner or even my parents about issues that bother because I was a little ashamed of the problems.

You might think that you have complete control over your actions, but that is not true and many things you do that is cool to you is very wrong to others cause of personal differences in perspective and what not.
Things are not black or white, people are not just liberal or conservative,left wing or right wing etc

My point is the lady should have an open minded approach and try to understand the peculiar problems but with a healthy dose of suspicion rather than throwing it all away like you said.

You also sounds like a reactionary person rather than someone who address issues logically

Toxay:


You have a rigid approach to issues(general observations) which makes you limited and rather unintelligent (no pun intended).

Many variables influence behaviours, some of which we cannot influence which means that people are sometimes victims or victors of situation they have no control over.It is important to address issues from other people pimportant to address issues from other people perspective and have an open minded approach.
There's nothing slippery sloped about that,while some men are players who exhibit that attitude are players, some are not and do noterspective and have an open minded approach.
There's nothing slippery sloped about that,while some men are players who exhibit that attitude are players, some are not and do not necessarily have bad intentions. I have been in that position where I did not tell my partner or even my parents about issues because I was a little ashamed of the problems.

You might think that you have complete control over your actions, but that is not true and many things you do that is cool to you is very corrupt to others cause of personal differences in perspective and what not.
Things are not black or white, people are not just liberal or conservative,left wing or right wing etc

My point is the lady should have an open minded approach and try to understand the peculiar problems but with a healthy dose of suspicion rather than throwing it all away like you said.

You also sounds like a reactionary person rather than someone who address issues logically

I don't care @ bolded & the rest of it for that matter. I call it how I see it, you stick to your own views, alrighty.

XhosaNostra:


I don't care @ bolded & the rest of it for that matter.

Then you are not fit for a sane society

Toxay:


Then you are not fit for a sane society

Good. That's okay with me.

Jgoldie:
God knows I put any matter about guys on my neck not on my head so that when the time comes I will just shake it off.

No guy,I mean no guy can give me emotional issues Biko.if you act funny,I will act funnier.

I told one guy like that I like him and he started giving me attitude,when I ignored him and kept my likeness to myself for like 2 weeks,he came back to his senses but by then my mind don comot from the guy body

I can’t come and kill myself oo

My kind of person. O.p learn from her or chat her make she school u because ur post is vexing me now my hand just dey do me make i slap sense enter ur head. Seems u don't have any important tin to do with ur time and life if not i see know reason why u ar jst carrying a guys mttr as Gala.u've don ur part by asking him his problem, if he feels its not shareable, dey look am. He has not entered his senses, wen he enters his senses, he will come back if he choses to. Ur happiness is in ur hand.if Ngozi okonjo iweala put boyfriend for head like gala as u dey do she for nor b bttr person, bttr tinkbof something worth while with ur life.

yomi007k:


What if he is having issues at work? The economic situation is not friendly as most businesses have been affected. Even educational institutions have halted , dreams have been cut short.

We need to be empathetic sometimes.

Atleast communicate thats what matured minds do. If he feels that okay i don't want her to know whats popn up with me, the least he can do is to keep the communication alive while he solves is problem. I see no reason why he can't share some of his problems with his babe nor be weakness bros

MOnkeyBabe:
I wonder o. They say they aren't as emotional as women +ego. I take am as I see am o. Just PRayinG to God to make things anew BeCause I know my feelings are Genuine. This is After becoming BORnAGain. I'm not a ReliGious BiGOt though. Let me explain it as being or becoming a more loving PeRSOn.
When you Really love someone, it's CRaZy. You Don't mind the one way communication and Can't help it. Want to get mad at them but the holy sPiRit corRRrects you. It stands the test of time. You Do not want to Be with any other man no matter how pooR they may be. God Shows you a lot of things about them. Feel you have been with them before etc.
Don't mind my typing jaRe. Just havnfun

holy spirit in Lust.. may your lord forgive you

Smkinhawt:


Thank you dear. I also thank everyone who has contributed to this. I honestly feel much better and right now I am taking a move to work towards my goals and be productive. I will give him space and time as advised. God bless you all

like say you wil truly do [quote author=Smkinhawt post=89267684]
like say you wil truly do

Smkinhawt:
Hello nairalanders

I struggle to type this. Recently I do not know what went wrong in the relationship with my lover. All of a sudden, he stopped replying my texts frequently. He Stopped giving me long replies and hardly messages me unlike before. I tried to ignore it because I felt he was passing through something he does not want to share with me. I know it might sound awkward. He hardly tells me what is bothering him. Yet I asked him what was wrong but he did not tell. This makes me sick and sometimes I feel useless in his life. Maybe I should move on. I can not continue like this anymore. These days I am unproductive. I need someone to talk to. I am tired of being shadowed and ignored. I can stay without a man in my life but I really want a friend to pour my heart to. Someone that shares talks with me and vice versa. I do not want a sexual relationship either. Does anybody get me?

07080738389.
Let's chat via whatsapp

Is that why you're getting weak? You don't need it dear. Iife goes on. Just try to distract yourself with some other activities or get busy with reading or watching movies, if that interests you. Instead of sitting around your phone and waiting for a call that may never come. Before you know it, he'll be a thing of the past.

Delete his contacts and block every means of him ever reaching you. He doesn't deserve you.
He may have found someone else while you're here hurting yourself. You better go easy on yourself.

kizwid:

holy spirit in Lust.. may your lord forgive you

how?

IAmSkinny:


Evidence https://www.nairaland.com/5660603/professional-photographer-heres-mini-portfolio

OKay, juSt followed you

kizwid:

holy spirit in Lust.. may your lord forgive you

what are you talking about?

Smkinhawt:
Hello nairalanders

I struggle to type this. Recently I do not know what went wrong in the relationship with my lover. All of a sudden, he stopped replying my texts frequently. He Stopped giving me long replies and hardly messages me unlike before. I tried to ignore it because I felt he was passing through something he does not want to share with me. I know it might sound awkward. He hardly tells me what is bothering him. Yet I asked him what was wrong but he did not tell. This makes me sick and sometimes I feel useless in his life. Maybe I should move on. I can not continue like this anymore. These days I am unproductive. I need someone to talk to. I am tired of being shadowed and ignored. I can stay without a man in my life but I really want a friend to pour my heart to. Someone that shares talks with me and vice versa. I do not want a sexual relationship either. Does anybody get me?

Let's talk no sexual chat, just jokes, family, advice if you don't mind

XhosaNostra:


Good. That's okay with me.

it's not okay for anyone to think that he/she is fighting an endless war where survival is a scarce commodity.It damages people

Toxay:


it's not okay for anyone to think that he/she is fighting an endless war where survival is a scarce commodity.It damages people

What's it to you what I or "anyone" thinks? I'll tell you what's not okay. What's NOT okay is for anyone to voluntary appoint themselves as a life moderator regarding thoughts & actions of complete strangers. It's definitely not normal since it doesn't concern or affect you in any way. It signals it is time to get a life.

Jgoldie:
God knows I put any matter about guys on my neck not on my head so that when the time comes I will just shake it off.

No guy,I mean no guy can give me emotional issues Biko.if you act funny,I will act funnier.

I told one guy like that I like him and he started giving me attitude,when I ignored him and kept my likeness to myself for like 2 weeks,he came back to his senses but by then my mind don comot from the guy body

I can’t come and kill myself oo

Someone wants to impregnate you.. I am more concerned about that

traihit:
Letting go is a skill anyone going into relationship must imbibe. We deal with humans and we don't have any control over their minds, even if we do, we won't really enjoy that. What they saw in you that made you desirable to them may be seen in another with a better version, only marriage used to be an insurance against that and even marriage itself is plagued with challenges.
Dear op, you'll overcome this. Just try and be strong and hold on to your lesson. Love and commitment must always go hand-in-hand with the ability to let go. Don't turn against men because you don't know the one that'll be ready to give you his head if you asked for it. But understand that you can't control people's minds but you can control yours.

As for your lover, don't be the one to call it quit because of the reason he gave. You can try by giving him space but the steps to be taken will reveal themselves to you in time.

really helpful ❤️

Smkinhawt:
Hello nairalanders

I struggle to type this. Recently I do not know what went wrong in the relationship with my lover. All of a sudden, he stopped replying my texts frequently. He Stopped giving me long replies and hardly messages me unlike before. I tried to ignore it because I felt he was passing through something he does not want to share with me. I know it might sound awkward. He hardly tells me what is bothering him. Yet I asked him what was wrong but he did not tell. This makes me sick and sometimes I feel useless in his life. Maybe I should move on. I can not continue like this anymore. These days I am unproductive. I need someone to talk to. I am tired of being shadowed and ignored. I can stay without a man in my life but I really want a friend to pour my heart to. Someone that shares talks with me and vice versa. I do not want a sexual relationship either. Does anybody get me?

I can relate , hope u get a good distraction

XhosaNostra:



What's it to you what I or "anyone" thinks? I'll tell you what's not okay. What's NOT okay is for anyone to voluntary appoint themselves as a life moderator regarding thoughts & actions of complete strangers. It's definitely not normal since it doesn't concern or affect you in any way. It signals it is time to get a life.

I have a life, thanks for your concern.
I am not posing to be a moderator of some sort,infact,nobody is.
I am simply making a comment just like you have done a thousand times, how you are blind to this fact is bewildering.

Toxay:


I have a life, thanks for your concern.
I am not posing to be a moderator of some sort,infact,nobody is.
I am simply making a comment just like you have done a thousand times, how you are blind to this fact is bewildering.

I'm not concerned AT ALL. Well guess what? I'm not interested in your opinions regarding anything, so don't bring them my way again.