Please I need your help please. My Seven year old son behaves like someone that have inferiority complex, he get easily bullied even by little kids of 2years. It really breaks my heart to see it and even my younger daughter have started following that foot step though she is better than her elder brother. I don't know what to do to raise a stronger son who can stand up for himself. I plan to enrol him in a military school to harden him. Please I need your advice to raise my kids to be wiser, more confidence and brave

Netochi:
Please I need your help please. My Seven year old son behaves like someone that have inferiority complex, he get easily bullied even by little kids of 2years. It really breaks my heart to see it and even my younger daughter have started following that foot step though she is better than her elder brother. I don't know what to do to raise a stronger son who can stand up for himself. I plan to enrol him in a military school to harden him. Please I need your advice to raise my kids to be wiser, more confidence and brave

It's just a matter of time bro......Nigeria would naturally re-construct him to the typa guy you want and even More just watch out

Netochi:
Please I need your help please. My Seven year old son behaves like someone that have inferiority complex, he get easily bullied even by little kids of 2years. It really breaks my heart to see it and even my younger daughter have started following that foot step though she is better than her elder brother. I don't know what to do to raise a stronger son who can stand up for himself. I plan to enrol him in a military school to harden him. Please I need your advice to raise my kids to be wiser, more confidence and brave

He took after you!

You have only mentioned one or two examples of his social skills. To probably put well, I think you are concerned about his self-esteem then the example you provide seems as though of gullibility but there is a very thin line between gullibility and a child avoiding victimisation or being compassionate to a two year old that he finds vulnerable.

Either way, your child is rather passive and it bothers you as should bother all parents but if you are really concerned, first, you must appreciate, that there can be no proper diagnosis based on the information you provided here without a considerable evaluation and interaction with your boy and girl.
The responses, you would expect should range from personal experiences, but many here do not have such experiences and even if they do, are incapable of suggesting an appropriate solution due to the lack of sufficient information from you, even parents struggle diagnosing their children or themselves. So be wary.

Also your assumption is harmful in itself, on his IQ, especially if you have been relating to your child based on this assumption.
Be careful about your decision to put your child in a military school. Military schools teaches harmony, obedience which is in the family of passitivity; you would have reinforced the behavior you are trying to correct, and infact maybe indulge withdrawal in the child.

Do get in touch with a professional for an appropriate intervention.An intervention could be that you may have to tweak the socialization in your home. Rather than being authoritative with the kids, you may begin to inquire from them, have a dialogue with them about your observation, and discuss about the responses; another could be to encourage them to speak their mind, to create situations where you can teach them to disagree, this way, you inculcate assertion but I don't know if there is more to it, or if this is what is lacking.

Baba you for my hand, go read more about low IQ.

being weak/afraid/shy or simply reserved at 2yrs...does NOT mean that child has any IQ issues... as he grows older, he will hopefully change. be a great parent and stand by your child.

Might be a trait from either you or hubby.

But then again, I strongly believe in nurture, that children in their formative years can be moulded and groomed into anything.

So, it’s up to you. Correct him every time you see him cower at way younger kids... tell him to not let other people bully him... if someone takes what belongs to him, he should boldly ask the person to give it back, or report to a teacher or someone older. Ensure you give him a demo of what he should say and how he should say it. Speak to him about the dangers of allowing other people bully him... tell him that bullies are cowards, and he shouldn’t be scared of them.

Infact, give him a demo for how he should react to things. Do this constantly. Plus I think it would be a lot more effective if your hubby would show him, too.

You need to devote your time for him. He needs you to discover his hidden potentials. With your description, your child exhibits characteristics of an introvert. An introvert child always feel unsecured at all time and may have phobia for publicity. I'm very sure he has innate capabilities to be great.
You don't need to enrol him in military school . That will worsen his situation. He only has low self esteem. Never rebuke or judge him based on this. An introvert child is always a great achiever

@ Netochi,
I understand how heartbreaking it is to watch your child being pushed around..you just wish you could get up and fight the fight for them..

Some children are more sensitive than others and are generally more anxious around other people so may have a hard time sticking up for themselves.

Have you asked him why he is scared? Explore that fear with him and talk about the times you were scared and the things you did to combat the fear.

You should encourage him and tell him it's alright to feel afraid but he can learn to be brave.

I know it's hard but don't mock his crying ,hold him, empathize with him.

Tell him.that he is wonderful,amazing, beautiful human being and that he always makes you proud.

When he has that confidence from home,it will translate into his interaction with people on the outside.

You can also enrol him in a self defense class with an understanding sensei.

That will boost his self confidence.

NB: I felt offended that you said he acts like a low IQ child...he is a child that loves his peace and even if he is low IQ,I'm sure he is a wonderful person..your job is to make him know that you love him and you don't think less of him.

tyup:


ur funny to think you'll put ur lil son into ah military school at that age

man you'll be raising a beast and a chain smoker if you do n trust you wount be able to control him when it get going

So we that attended military school are beasts and Chainsmokers...Dude check yah head...

You just described me when i was that age, free the young nigga, he will outgrow it & develop d confidence of a lion. I am a living example

Netochi:
Please I need your help please. My Seven year old son behaves like someone that have inferiority complex, he get easily bullied even by little kids of 2years. It really breaks my heart to see it and even my younger daughter have started following that foot step though she is better than her elder brother. I don't know what to do to raise a stronger son who can stand up for himself. I plan to enrol him in a military school to harden him. Please I need your advice to raise my kids to be wiser, more confidence and brave

Netochi:
Please I need your help please. My Seven year old son behaves like someone that have inferiority complex, he get easily bullied even by little kids of 2years. It really breaks my heart to see it and even my younger daughter have started following that foot step though she is better than her elder brother. I don't know what to do to raise a stronger son who can stand up for himself. I plan to enrol him in a military school to harden him. Please I need your advice to raise my kids to be wiser, more confidence and brave

Have you conversed deeply with him to know what the problem is?

Are you too hard on him compared to his baby sister?

And please no military school until you discover what the problem is.

You want him switch to bullying due to his low self esteem because he is now stronger.

DO PRESS UP.

He will join you in doing Press up and form muscles.

Take him on Jogging. Train him. You have hands. Children learn from example.

He is just timid. Most children develop timidity in the presence of other kids when they don't exercise enough. When their parents are overprotective and don't allow them to play enough games like football, races, etc.

This is something you can work on, stop complaining.

Being bullied and having inferiority complex = low IQ?

Military school at the age of 7 to solve what has the potential to be something as serious as a developmental issue?

Yeesh, you sound like part of his problem

PrimadonnaO:
Might be a trait from either you or hubby.

But then again, I strongly believe in nurture, that children in their formative years can be moulded and groomed into anything.

So, it’s up to you. Correct him every time you see him cower at way younger kids... tell him to not let other people bully him... if someone takes what belongs to him, he should boldly ask the person to give it back, or report to a teacher or someone older. Ensure you give him a demo of what he should say and how he should say it. Speak to him about the dangers of allowing other people bully him... tell him that bullies are cowards, and he shouldn’t be scared of them.

Infact, give him a demo for how he should react to things. Do this constantly. Plus I think it would be a lot more effective if your hubby would show him, too.

My hubby said he was like that but if you see my hubby now, people are afraid of him right now. He is very confident and a go getter right now

cricifixo:
You just described me when i was that age, free the young nigga, he will outgrow it & develop d confidence of a lion. I am a living example

Please how did you overcome it. I really want to know

ibkayee:
Being bullied and having inferiority complex = low IQ?

Military school at the age of 7 to solve what has the potential to be something as serious as a developmental issue?

Yeesh, you sound like part of his problem

Not considering it now but an airforce or an army secondary school. That's what I meant

bukatyne:


Have you conversed deeply with him to know what the problem is?

Are you too hard on him compared to his baby sister?

And please no military school until you discover what the problem is.

You want him switch to bullying due to his low self esteem because he is now stronger.

I prefer he bullys than for him to be bullied

Takotsubo:
@ Netochi,
I understand how heartbreaking it is to watch your child being pushed around..you just wish you could get up and fight the fight for them..

Some children are more sensitive than others and are generally more anxious around other people so may have a hard time sticking up for themselves.

Have you asked him why he is scared? Explore that fear with him and talk about the times you were scared and the things you did to combat the fear.

You should encourage him and tell him it's alright to feel afraid but he can learn to be brave.

I know it's hard but don't mock his crying ,hold him, empathize with him.

Tell him.that he is wonderful,amazing, beautiful human being and that he always makes you proud.

When he has that confidence from home,it will translate into his interaction with people on the outside.

You can also enrol him in a self defense class with an understanding sensei.

That will boost his self confidence.

NB: I felt offended that you said he acts like a low IQ child...he is a child that loves his peace and even if he is low IQ,I'm sure he is a wonderful person..your job is to make him know that you love him and you don't think less of him.

I feel ashamed to use the word "low IQ" but watching my son been pushed around can be heartbreaking. He does not even have a mind of his own most times. I really need him to be tougher and I thought a military school will mould him. A secondary school

Netochi:

I prefer he bullys than for him to be bullied

I hope you know they are both markers of low self esteem.

So your problem is not that he has a low self esteem, your problem is not the bullying, your problem is that he is the victim for now.

Thanks for your honesty

Netochi:

My hubby said he was like that but if you see my hubby now, people are afraid of him right now. He is very confident and a go getter right now

Let your husband treat him the way he was treated to produce the current result.

You have nothing to be worried about madam.

Netochi:

My hubby said he was like that but if you see my hubby now, people are afraid of him right now. He is very confident and a go getter right now

Good. So fear not. Just correct him constantly. In no time, you’ll forget he was ever a timid boy.

Plus, pray a lot. This thing with children. You can’t always get it right just by your power. The grace of God is needed.

bukatyne:




I hope you know they are both markers of low self esteem.

So your problem is not that he has a low self esteem, your problem is not the bullying, your problem is that he is the victim for now.

Thanks for your honesty



Let your husband treat him the way he was treated to produce the current result.

You have nothing to be worried about madam.

Thank you

PrimadonnaO:


Good. So fear not. Just correct him constantly. In no time, you’ll forget he was ever a timid boy.

Plus, pray a lot. This thing with children. You can’t always get it right just by your power. The grace of God is needed.

Thanks you, hope he changes

Netochi:
Please I need your help please. My Seven year old son behaves like someone that have inferiority complex, he get easily bullied even by little kids of 2years. It really breaks my heart . I don't know what to do to raise a stronger son who can stand up for himself. Please I need your advice to raise my kids to be wiser, more confidence and brave

For a 7 years old to be bullied by a 2 year old baby is really bad except he took compassion on him. However u go about it, it will be hard not turning him into a bully

Netochi:

I feel ashamed to use the word "low IQ" but watching my son been pushed around can be heartbreaking. He does not even have a mind of his own most times. I really need him to be tougher and I thought a military school will mould him. A secondary school

I understand very well what you mean,any parent would understand how frustrating it is but I want you to see the world of opportunity this presents to you.

You have a fine young boy who is unsure of what to do and unsure of himself,why don't you teach him? Why don't you nurture and give him that confidence that he seems to be lacking?


It's not every child that benefits from harsh training..some children are just mild mannered and soft hearted.If your child is that way,there's no point in killing his spirit or making him hate his personality.

You can help him face his fears but also realise he may never be an aggressive person,you can teach him that he can be assertive without fighting.

Talk with him,7 is a very impressionable age and I fear that you use harsh words on him which would make him even more fearful and anxious.He needs to know he has a safe place to run to and that safe place should be you,his parents.

It is hard not to notice the difference between him and his sister but you can be kinder to him,build him up with your words,stop tearing him down.

Have you considered that he doesn't retaliate against the 2 year old because he may fear you would.punish him?

See in him a wonderful child who loves peace and does not want trouble.

The more you say it to yourself,the more you believe it,then you say it to him and it helps reassure him and help his confidence and self esteem.

Military and boarding school are not necessary..it's not up to a school to mould your child,it is your duty as a parent to do.the moulding.

Keep talking to him and encouraging him,strengthen your relationship with him.

A lot of great men started off like this and you know what made the difference and greatest impact on them?Parental attitude .

As I said try self defence classes,they help.to build confidence too.

Netochi:

Thank you

You are welcome.

You will remember this thread years later and smile.

I really do not understand why people see restraint as a sign of weakness !!

Netochi:

I feel ashamed to use the word "low IQ" but watching my son been pushed around can be heartbreaking. He does not even have a mind of his own most times. I really need him to be tougher and I thought a military school will mould him. A secondary school

He didn't fall from a Tree, it's either you or your husband who passed on those traits to him. Enroll him in a very good school. You can also help him discover his talent, focus on it and he will gradually develop confidence in himself

HarunaWest:

So we that attended military school are beasts and Chainsmokers...Dude check yah head...

you geh sense bfr joining na

Netochi:
Please I need your help please. My Seven year old son behaves like someone that have inferiority complex, he get easily bullied even by little kids of 2years. It really breaks my heart to see it and even my younger daughter have started following that foot step though she is better than her elder brother. I don't know what to do to raise a stronger son who can stand up for himself. I plan to enrol him in a military school to harden him. Please I need your advice to raise my kids to be wiser, more confidence and brave

From what you shared, I perceive your kids are dealing with what in child psychology is called insecure attachment. Seek a child psychologist, therapeutic interventions will help your kids.

tyup:


you geh sense bfr joining na

who wan spoil go spoil...School doesn't shape a n*ggas inherent attitude...Some people will be good, others will be terrible..It's law of nature

HarunaWest:
who wan spoil go spoil...School doesn't shape a n*ggas inherent attitude...Some people will be good, others will be terrible..It's law of nature

Ur underestimating the power of peer group and some sort of influence either good or bad