I think, and this is just a thought.
I think she blames your existence for something unpleasant in her life.

OP

You're too available. If you're a guy and you're old enough, leave that place.

Go and kill yourself for her

[b][/b]

Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

@bolded you’re a good son I love ❤️ you as a son of your parent...Tell her what you just type up there 👆 Na....let her know how her encouragement can make you do better as a son.


Telling from experience never in life play with your parent even when you think there might have wrong you.

Undilutedme:
How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

you will make so many mistakes if you keep doing things to get your mom's approval or regards. You are a man, not a girl. Why are you trying to fix your mom like trying to teach an old woman new dance steps.

Focus on yourself and keep working for self-improvement and not anyone's validation (not just your mom) and if one day it makes her sing and dance then good.

Just think of what she has want/correct you previously to do or aviod and do it.
but if nothing of such, do whatever you think will make her happy and always appreciate yourself.

It's not easy as a parent not to come off as hurtful when you are trying to thread the thin line between motivating or being overly endearing.

I would suggest you have a sit-down with her to discuss this and let her know how it is hurting you. It has to be a proper, planned conversation, not something offhand. I am sure she would listen as you said she is caring.

You have to also realise that this is a habit she has developed over the years, so do not expect it to stop right away.

As kids, there are always areas we wish our parents could be better at, as it is same with us. Sometimes, understanding their temperament helps you to better accommodate some of these perceived deficiencies and it would no longer hurt you, as you begin to understand that it is a character flaw that they may be unable to change and you will continue to love them irrespective of that.

Dealing with a situation where a parent does not appreciate you can be difficult and emotionally challenging. Here are some steps you can take to handle this situation:

1. Self-reflection: Begin by reflecting on your own feelings and reactions towards your mother's lack of appreciation. It's important to understand your emotions and how they are affecting your relationship with her.

2. Open communication: Find a calm and non-confrontational moment to express your feelings to your mother. Use "I" statements to avoid blaming her or making her defensive. Let her know how her lack of appreciation makes you feel and why it is important to you.

3. Seek understanding: Try to understand your mother's perspective as well. Is there any underlying reason that may be causing her behavior? Empathy and open-mindedness can help you gain insight into her side of the story.

4. Set boundaries: If your mother's attitude continues to negatively impact your well-being, it might be necessary to establish healthy boundaries. These boundaries can help protect you from further emotional harm. Communicate and explain your boundaries with love and respect.

5. Focus on self-care: When dealing with difficult relationships, it's crucial to prioritize your self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy and surround yourself with a support system of friends and loved ones who appreciate and value you.
Also remember, healing and resolving complex relationship issues take time. It's important to be patient and compassionate with both yourself and your mother as you work towards a healthier and more appreciative relationship.

Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

Your mama dey prepare you for the future to always look before leaping and always try to go beyond your constraints

Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

bruh first of all your mum is your mum you ain't got no other mom accept that first , secondly your mum want the best for you but she just wanted you to do better than your peers. I had experienced it before and I know how's it's so it ain't no big deal

Undilutedme:
If you engage her in a dialogue, she'll pick offense. I've tried many times. And to add too, she complains virtually about everything. She'll hardly see what you do as good.

My dad is late.

The good qualities you claimed your mother possesses do not match with your narratives.

I am also going through this exact thing at the moment, the only difference is I am 36yrs old man and I am married. My mom downplays my effort whenever she has the opportunity to, and I can tell you for a fact that I am trying my best. I have been paying my mom rent for the past 7 years and I send her minimum of 300k yearly for upkeep. My mom doesn’t care about my wife or make any effort to be a grandma to my children. Sometimes me and this woman will go 2 years without talking but I am done this time around, I have told my siblings that I am done. I was 2 years old when my mom left my dad so I lived with my dad until I was 17 years old, I didn’t see my mom until I was 17 years old, now I am 36yrs old but I can tell you this woman has done little or nothing for me. Long story short . I AM DONE. sorry for my typing error, make una manage ham

It's who she is and you can't change her. Just don't take it to heart too much, you will be fine.

Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

I used to get depressed due to the way she was making me have low self esteem but the day I knew I held the key to my happiness I stopped caring about her opinion now I’m indifferent to both my parents it’s even made me scared of starting a family of my own. 35 year old man and woman no dey freak me cos I don’t want any woman to treat my kid same way I was treated.

Undilutedme:
If you engage her in a dialogue, she'll pick offense. I've tried many times. And to add too, she complains virtually about everything. She'll hardly see what you do as good.

My dad is late.

Well my best advice for you is to maintain your lane. Greet her, do chores, and all sorts and never expect her appreciation... If you are waiting for her appreciation, it is just like waiting for the crab by the river bank to blink its two eyes. You go tey for that river bank o

This person don dey almost graduate before him story enter front page.

Prove her wrong.

To be honest bro do DNA test

She wants you to strive more, prolly her upbringing made her that way.......she's apparently hard to satisfy; you might want to speak with a trusted relative of hers on your observations and feelings to really get a glimpse of where her strange attitude is from

Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

In the first place, you know her not to be appreciative, people who are non appreciative hate surprises, so why repairing a generator she said she doesn't like to repair. She has the money to repair but doesn't want to.

Why did you tell her your friend scored higher and you scored lower? Never expect any appreciation from her, keep respecting her as your mother and do all you have to do as her son and never expect appreciation.

First you attributed all these nice things to your mum, then go on to say she doesn't appreciate you. Which doesn't make sense if you really think about it unless, you are not saying it as it is.
Next, your 2 instances you gave, how can someone appreciate you when you are going down instead of up? I think the right word to use is encourage. You repaired a gen. Why? Don't you nlknow how much is fuel? I bet that's what she's thinking about the gen repair. On the jamb issue, it's simple. It would have mattered more if you'd score like or higher than your friend.
In conclusion, I think you should check yourself, then bother less of what people think about you all the time. Because if you don't, you'll never be your best you. You are not your mom and you can't force her to like what you like. Just be the best version of you, that's all.

The older you get, the more you see that your parents are not perfect. Just accommodate their inperfections.

Sometimes, some children grow into adults with higher emotional intelligence than their parents. I think it is wise for anyone who finds himself here to just accommodate the flaws of their parents. It is also important thet they do all they can to not get into any arguments with their parents, not in a despiseful way, but in a loving way.

I'd stop here by saying, just love the full package. Do what you'd do, not because it would be appreciated, but because it is somewhat a responsibility a child owes to their parents.

Bone her! Na by force?

Shinny1:
My dear if you have tried going through dialogue with her and it didn't produce any results..why don't you try taking it to God and talk to God about it and pray for God to touch her heart to start loving you
Please keep showing her love no matter what cos one day, you will be shocked that deep down in her heart she really appreciate everything...
And also I think she has a high expectations from you but you need to focus on God to be able to achieve it cos by strength shall no man prevail
Please keep loving her cos love covert all things

smh! The mother need a therapist . A lot of Nigerians are broken, smh, Everything is not God

I don't think she is your mom. Ask her mommy are you really my mother. Look into her eyes when doing it

Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

Na that insults I want to throw at her but since you begged us, make I hold my peace. I even want to advice you for something against her but that thing na evil things. So make I just stay on my own

Undilutedme

Her behavior is wrong.

I think it might be best you start keeping your distance from her. When she realizes you're keeping your distance, she might ask why and you inform her.

Being your mum, she might be dismissal seeing you as her baby boy. She might be condescending. She might feel entitled to treat you the way she wills. She wont like you "dictating" to her.

You however need to stick to your guns so she realises that it's about you and not about her.

If you're still under your parents, I doubt you'd get anywhere. . You can only become assertive when you're financially independent.

Another way out is to get closer to your dad if she refuses to change. Your dad may love this. It could backfire though. Your mum could become furious.

Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

Is not everybody that appreciates other people for their good deeds publicly and openly. So I'll advise you keep doing what you're doing whether she appreciates you or not. Just stay focus that's all.

Don't mind those telling you to ignore. She is your mother not your friend’s mother, why will she be happy for your friend’s success but give a “i don't care attitude to your own”. The comparison that she is doing won't make her happy, likewise you the child won't be happy as well, because where she is supposed to praise and encourage you, she will be there badmouthing you. Try to discuss the issue with her, let her know that her words is dampening your morale. If she did not listen, then you can find someone who she respect a lot and discuss with that person .

If it is for her to appreciate you is all you want, that is easy. Stop looking to impress her and be nonchalant in attitude. Just do your thing and whenever she complains, ignore her completely. You don't expect people to change, you change your actions towards them.

However, you can hang on to her every word knowing she's one of the people that knows you well and would do anything for you to turn out good in life. Take criticisms as constructively as you can and keep on striving to meet her expected standards. In the end, you can only gain valuable lessons.

All in all, be careful of whatever you wish for. What you want might not be what you need. Shalom.

Undilutedme:
Hello nairaland family.
I trust you guys are doing fine.
I have a little problem and I need a piece of advise on how to handle it.

I have a very wonderful mother. She's caring, sweet, compassionate, name all the good characteristics of a good woman, she's got all but there's this problem I'm still having with her. SHE NEVER APPRECIATES ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My mom will never appreciate me for anything I do, even if she does, she does it nonchalantly like it doesn't matter. She compares me with friends at every slight opportunity she gets.

There was something that happened. Momsy travelled sometime around this year and stayed for close to two months and she has a shop that she manages. The shop's generator has been bad for sometime and it's really stressful for her selling with dim lights but she refused repairing it again because according to her, the generator is consuming her money because of too much repairs every time. So I wanted to surprise her, I called a friend that fixes generator to come help me fix it so when she comes she'll see that it has been fixed. My friend came and fixed it. When momsy came back and I told her that I fixed the generator for her, she told me that, she didn't send me to fix generator for her and that she is not going to use it. According to her "I send you make you fix gen?. I say I nor wan use the gen again". I swear I was really hurt.

On another occasion was during the just concluded UTME exam. My friends wrote before me, a friend of mine had 330 so I told her, she was very happy. She was like, I pray you get something like this. Fast forward, 3 days later, I wrote mine and result came out. I scored 314, when she came, just happily told her, instead of being happy, she just hissed and said "You nor fit get reach 330?". My spirit just died immediately. She likes comparing me with my friends.

There are many occasions things have happened but I'll not bore you with unnecessary talks. It's really eating me up emotionally and psychologically. How well can I make my mom appreciate me more?. How can I please her?.

Ps: Please nobody should throw insults at her. I beg you in the name of whoever you serve. Thanks.

You should learn to ignore her rants. She knows that you are hurting, that’s why she keeps doing it but if you show her that you don’t care, she would stop

she wan make you double your husl