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The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Nobody: 9:14am On May 12, 2020 |
Marriage is seen as an attainment of success and independence for a man and for a woman it means she is truly desired and that she will not be left on the shelf. They spend hundreds of thousands or millions on their wedding, they litter their social media with magnificent pictures of the wedding day and honeymoon, they try to induce envy amongst their families and single friends. They smugly ask their single family members/friends why they are not married and tell them they should hurry up and that time is ticking particularly for the women. The reality is many married couples hate the sight of eachother, how they act in public is all for show, inside they are suffering. Regarding women, they will definitely be cheated on by their husbands, they will be gas-lighted and subjected to the silent treatment or not returning home treatment if the man doesn't get his way. She will experience physical, psychological or emotional abuse. If the woman has had enough and wants to leave, she is convinced to fast/pray and stay to keep her family together. Regarding men, they may have thought they married a subservient, docile girl who they believe they can manipulate and control but in fact that girl was an actress just to get a ring on her finger and when she has had her marriage, her true colours shine through, you discover she was not a modest girl after all and by then it's already too late, you will be subjected to emotional/psychological/physical abuse as well. She will most likely cheat on you with her Exs or a man richer than her husband. However since we are in a patriarchal society she will be thrown out of the house if she cheats or is suspected of cheating. What am I trying to say? Single people be happy where you are and if it's meant to be, you will meet the right person, do not be pressured by family/friends/society to settle for less than you deserve. The single life is better than a hellish marriage or a cold divorce. Thank you. 7 Likes |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Bola146(f): 9:25am On May 12, 2020 |
Thanks so much for the advice. |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Akunwafor(m): 9:35am On May 12, 2020 |
Ahh. The "marriage is by force" people will soon come for you. 2 Likes |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by AiteeAitee: 9:37am On May 12, 2020 |
It's a scary reality. But how can we avoid it? I think partners must be understanding and be willing to lower their expectations a bit for peace. |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by LastProphet: 9:40am On May 12, 2020 |
Only Africans and especially Nigerians see marriage as destiny. You see a graduate of chemical engineering who has never engineered a chemical gets pressured by parents to "settle down" even before young guy is 30. Is why we have low GDP because few have any ambitions beyond just getting married. The pastors elevated marriage to the status of destiny and the mostly half-educated followers bought it. Not everybody will be married, not everybody will have children, not everybody will be poor, not everybody will live long, I don't know what else to say to our people 5 Likes |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Enskynelson(m): 9:42am On May 12, 2020 |
TheAfricaQueen:Well... What you posted is actually now the most talked-about side of marriage. You hardly see in the news the good sides. That's how terrible and scary it has become. My candid advice is that, there's no general formula. Some singles are better than some marriages and vice versa. Before I got married, I wanted to due to personal conviction and not pressure. In fact, pressure would have made me stayed single. But my testimony is that, for me, being single (in a relationship) was hell too demanding than being married even though it's same person I dated I married. The challenges of the courtship was more than now. Overall, make decision based on your conviction and not what you see or read anywhere. Cheers. 1 Like |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by properties4sale: 9:45am On May 12, 2020 |
Bola146:I'm suspecting something oh! |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by hopeforcharles(m): 9:47am On May 12, 2020 |
Marriage is wonderful, people just have so much high expectations and fantasies about it which some times are not what is obtainable, make sure you marry a friend, lover and brother or sister, Infact be your self. 2 Likes |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Enskynelson(m): 9:58am On May 12, 2020 |
Conduct a survey yourself by searching through NL posts. Do we have more positive posts on marriage or vice versa? The terrible marriage stories are the ones you see. You see no goodnews here. People having peaceful homes don't come here posting how they have never quarreled since they married. All u see is... "wife poured hot water on husband due to infidelity", "wife stabs husband after husband answers call from a strange woman. " "man commits suicide after borrowing 3M for marriage" and a lot more. Like someone said above, it is now SCARY. scary because what is said are more of the bad things happening in marriages. |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Jcael(m): 10:24am On May 12, 2020 |
Enskynelson: True. Infact if you muster courage and tell your story that doesn't fit the bad marriage stereotype, you will be seen as absurd. I guess there's so much emphasis on marriages that turned sour than those that have worked for years unend. Bad marriages is the new normal. 2 Likes |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Nobody: 10:27am On May 12, 2020 |
TheAfricaQueen: Who did you strong thing Just kidding. Marriage na scam. Abeg enjoy your single life o. Much better than subjecting yourself to someone else's whims. Mtscheww. |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Nobody: 10:31am On May 12, 2020 |
Jcael: Bad marriages have always been around since the beginning of time. It's now more out in the open because people don't hide it anymore. 2 Likes |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Jcael(m): 10:33am On May 12, 2020 |
Like the op said, a whole lot of folks are getting married due to pressure. Some others are marrying cos it's fashionable. Heck I once met a 24yo lady who wanted to get engaged, not cos she was really interested in a relationship, but because her friends were wearing engagement bands/rings. I strongly feel a large number of people are entering into marriage for the wrong reasons. In most cases, one or both of them may have entered into the marital contract for the wrong reasons. If the above can be corrected. If people start marrying INTENTIONALLY. A concious decision taken, not borne out of pressure, age or a sense of fashion and what's in vogue. Then most marriages will work. It starts with a concious DECISION to stick to one's partner come rain or shine,and it takes two to tango. 2 Likes |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by zexy2030(m): 10:38am On May 12, 2020 |
truly marriage is a complicated school but two wrongs can't make a right. There is no perfect home, but we have more forbearance and tolerating partners, who understands that they are two different people living as one. 3 Likes |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Jcael(m): 10:38am On May 12, 2020 |
pDudd: True.. Very true bro. But also, you'd agree with me that there are also model marriages that are withstanding everything life throws at them. |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Nobody: 10:41am On May 12, 2020 |
Jcael: That's because the couple decide to fight together and stay together. It takes joint effort. The reason relationships and marriages is failing these days is simple: Lack of love and selfishness. 1 Like |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Jcael(m): 10:42am On May 12, 2020 |
pDudd: My point exactly |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by lyndaway(f): 10:59am On May 12, 2020 |
Ones love, happiness, trust and peace of mind leaves a marriage that marriage is dead |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by SavageResponse(m): 8:58pm On May 12, 2020 |
Akunwafor: |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Dominicane(m): 9:30pm On May 12, 2020 |
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Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Novemberaura(m): 10:25pm On May 12, 2020 |
the only thing I have to say, the one thing I have ever said in marriage issues is that marriage is highly OVERRATED simple |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by Zoeygifty: 11:13pm On May 12, 2020 |
LastProphet:The one you have said is enough |
Re: The Other Side Of Marriage No One Talks About. by sexylassie2(f): 11:17pm On May 12, 2020 |
All these is caused by over familiarity and too much emotional dependency. |
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