Hello everyone, please bear with me this is going to be a long read but I'll try and make it as short as possible as I can and bear with me if there are any errors. I need advice on how to go about a situation now that's eating me up even as I type these words I'm so angry and sad..

So here goes my story :
I'm the last born of a family of four. My oldest sister, immediate older brother and my mother. Then me. We are suppose to be five though but my oldest brother died when I was just 3 years old.. My Dad left when I was just a foetus in the womb and threatened to kill my mother on the day of my birth but I'm glad I could made it out alive safely. He left then been to be with another woman that bore him 3 sons one of the boys is a year older than me. Tells you about his extra marital affairs He's been seeing this woman while with my mother I don't want to go into so much details about that. I completed 24 last month. I couldn't proceed with my education due to lack of finance and had to learn a tiling skill though I don't get jobs to do always but I get a contract from time to time. I have a passion for music and I've written a couple of songs which I plan to record soon. I have big dreams, plans I want to see come to fruition. I have been able to save up 550k in my savings account and now I'm planning on relocating to the city because I still live with my mom and my older sister in our family house no one lives there except us. I have my own room there though I don't like to see it that way because any family member that visits likes to sleep in that room. Last year I had it painted, bought a carpet and a plasma 32" TV and also a generator set to provide us electricity and keep us entertained. Though it's a room but it also serves as a parlour because my uncle from the city brought back some of his chairs and properties from the city when his wife and kids left him so we had to put the chairs there and some of his clothes with Ghana must go are kept separately in one corner just to secure them. My uncle left afterwards anyways. This house we live in now was built by maternal grand Dad. It's an old mud house but was plastered and you wouldn't even notice because it was the trend back then and this house is just along a few walks away from a major express road outside. It has two stores rented out. The problem I'm having now is my immediate older brother. He left last year to the city because he's into Tailoring and was making use of one of the rooms inside as a store instead of renting a proper store after he was done with learning but my mother didn't mind thinking he is only making use of it temporary to make some money to rent a proper store. It has been almost five years now since he's been sewing in that room and he doesn't seem like someone who wants to leave.
The first quarter of last year he decided that he wanted to relocate to the capital city though we advice him against it and encouraged him to check out some semi cities but he refused and told us that's where his future is. It actually took 2 years of announcing to everyone that he wants to travel before he actually traveled. Meanwhile while he was making use of that room in the family house for a temporary store he rented a room in the town 20 mins drive away from where we live. Before leaving for the capital city he discharged everything he had even gave his small bed away to a friend and brought back a few electronics and kept in my mother's room..

My sister gave birth to her baby last November and he came back then. He told us he came because of the baby. He went back after a week and during the season that's last December he called and told us he's coming back to do some seasonal work because this time people want to see new wears and his customer base is here. He said he'll go back afterwards but since then he has been here squatting with me inside the room. He traveled one time and told us he went to rent an apartment there for 230k in warri because now he sees the life in Abuja is expensive and for the rich. Can you imagine it's going to six months now since he came back from that travel and he's still here.
My sister is also a tailor though don't get much work to do now due to the lockdown and my mother only provides what she gets from her farm I had to take on the responsibility of making sure that there's money to buy food at home every market. He would eat and not bother and when my mother approaches him about it he would get defensive that he's not working anymore which is a lie. He puts on his Gen to sew most times because people still come around. It got to a point where I got fed up with the whole situation and my mother decided not serve him food anymore until he provides. He is five years older than me he's 29 now and since almost two weeks now he eats by himself. He doesn't even care if his mother gets something to eat I had to take on that responsibility. Just last two weeks we got into a heated argument that led to some exchange of words and I don't care if you are older I give it to you hot if you try to take advantage of me. He insults me says he will give me a beating. I don't want to fight him though. Just tonight we got into another fight that almost got physical my mother has to intervene and her shouting attracted our neighbors. She hasn't been feeling that strong and she was complaining of headache tonight.. I'm so tired of the whole situation. I just need my privacy and peace of mind. I told my mother I'll look for any room to rent somewhere and she pleaded with me not to make some rash decisions.

I'm confused and need help is 550k enough to relocate to a semi city like Akure? I plan to relocate with a close friend though and we've been saving up. We plan to get maybe a two room self contain. Look for tiling jobs to do there and indulge in other things to better our lives. I plan to pursue my passion in music too.

What do you guys think?
Sorry for the long epistle I was waiting for this pandemic thing to be over before I take a leap but I don't like living in the same room with my brother and we don't talk to each other anymore. The sight of him makes me uncomfortable and angry now

hmmmm, I read your story thrice and I truly understand your pain.

First before you go I suggest your mother(may God bless and keep her to see you become a superstar) should pray for you.
Kindly listen to PRAY FOR ME BY DARE ART ALADE.... it will help.

Also, please why not use the money to start a business that will give you income monthly.... INBOX ME AND I WILL TEACH YOU WHAT TO DO.... pls do not travel yet.

I am doing this because your story touched me. I am doing this only for you.

Thank you but what kind of business do you suggest?

I don't want you to fight your brother again.He is very right Abuja is quite an expensive city,and you need some form of transportation to survive in it,worst if you don't know anybody in the Capital.I have been there,i have hustle and i have packed my Kaya.
Lagos is relatively managable,you can still manage to survive if you have a roof over your head but it is still going to be tough if you know no body.
My advice is not for you to relocate yet,but to look for opportunities around you,and see what you can do,never let your emotion get in the way of rationality.Yes i know you want privacy,but i have lived a lone most times,trust me it isn't much fun especially in a city where you know no one nor speak the language like when i was in Kano..

Relocation without a detailed plan of financing is a step into disaster.
It'll be a shame to move out only to return when your savings has dried up.

Relocate yes but not until you've figured out if there are opportunities for you where you're going.
Also, who'll take care of your mum if you're gone?

Follow your heart but make sure you think it through...

uruba23:
I don't want you to fight your brother again.He is very right Abuja is quite an expensive city,and you need some form of transportation to survive in it,worst if you don't know anybody in the Capital.I have been there,i have hustle and i have packed my Kaya.
Lagos is relatively managable,you can still manage to survive if you have a roof over your head but it is still going to be tough if you know no body.
My advice is not for you to relocate yet,but to look for opportunities around you,and see what you can do,never let your emotion get in the way of rationality.Yes i know you want privacy,but i have lived a lone most times,trust me it isn't much fun especially in a city where you know no one nor speak the language like when i was in Kano..

But kano is fun you do not just stayed in the right areas like Sabon Gari or brigade

My advise to you

1. Continue to work in the village since you have customers there. If you can save up 550k while working there, with more customers and God's grace it can grow into millions and beyond.

2. If you must leave the house, leave and rent a self contained room for yourself alone in the village. This can't be more than 100k per year. Don't combine funds with your friend because it's possible you become the sole provider for you both if he's not the serious type. This is what you are avoiding remember?

3. You don't have stay in the city to make it. That's the mindset millions of city residents have which keeps them in abject poverty. Only few have savings. Some don't even have 10k in their account. The high cost of living eats up everything. Stay in the same village but make sure you send money or foodstuff to your mum from time to time.

4. Don't listen to anyone here telling you to message them on businesses you can do. Dude, it's a scam. They are only interested in your money. Every advise should be posted here. Be very careful!

First and foremost, DO NOT DM anyone who wants to help you on investing your savings. If anyone can't advise you openly then such should be ignored. Secondly, bear it a lil more, don't relocate yet. Look around you, there are opportunities lurking around. Visit Agriculture and Business sections on NL with your eyes and head widely opened. You can start something with part of your savings. This life eh, Some are fortunate to meet a set-table before them while some of us had to build from scratch without a single material. Be grateful for that MUD house, paying rent and feeding yourself is not an easy task. Stop getting into arguments with your Bro, he seem to be frustrated too. Try to be a bit more closer to him, you might get to learn one or two about his problems too. Be hopeful and reach out when you feel choked. It is well.

Bros I Dey warn You ooo

If you pm anyone on nairaland to advise you on how to spend the 550k,it will end in tears

I Dey warn you ooo

ikh777:
hmmmm, I read your story thrice and I truly understand your pain.

First before you go I suggest your mother(may God bless and keep her to see you become a superstar) should pray for you.
Kindly listen to PRAY FOR ME BY DARE ART ALADE.... it will help.

Also, please why not use the money to start a business that will give you income monthly.... INBOX ME AND I WILL TEACH YOU WHAT TO DO.... pls do not travel yet.

I am doing this because your story touched me. I am doing this only for you.

He posted at 1:18am, you posted your reply at 1:20am. In 2 minutes, you've already read the post 3 times and understood his pain. You now want him to inbox you in capital letters?

Shame on scammers and avaricious people because they will always live in abject poverty.

Morningstar12:
Hello everyone, please bear with me this is going to be a long read but I'll try and make it as short as possible as I can and bear with me if there are any errors. I need advice on how to go about a situation now that's eating me up even as I type these words I'm so angry and sad..

Following your heart is not an advice. You posted here because your heart and mind are in a state of confusion. Heart alone can't guarantee success, mind is needed. The balance between heart and mind is what peace of mind is.

Moving out at this stage of confusion might cause you your hard earned money. It would be good if you could calm your mind down. Take control of your emotions being it anger or otherwise.

Treat your mind to ignore your brother as if he doesn't exist. If he is at home and your anger is boiling, take a walk to clear your mind. You can train your brain to accept him as long as you have your finances under your control which I think was why your Mum stopped giving him food.

What if your brother has gotten into trouble (could be debt) where he travelled to that he could not tell anyone but rather unleashed his anger on his family.

Moving in with a friend could be even more disastrous. What if he doesn't have up to what you've saved? What if he also wants to leech on you? He might not have the plan now but you can't be sure of a peaceful living with him either.

In summary, don't move out now because you're having issues with your brother. Move out when you have a rigid plan and that the city will give you double income than the current town you're. Move out when you are sure of the better offers the city will yield in return in every ramifications. When you can afford accommodation without borrowing, owing your landlord or losing all your savings on accommodation and feeding.

Peace be onto you!

ikh777:
hmmmm, I read your story thrice and I truly understand your pain.

First before you go I suggest your mother(may God bless and keep her to see you become a superstar) should pray for you.
Kindly listen to PRAY FOR ME BY DARE ART ALADE.... it will help.

Also, please why not use the money to start a business that will give you income monthly.... INBOX ME AND I WILL TEACH YOU WHAT TO DO.... pls do not travel yet.

I am doing this because your story touched me. I am doing this only for you.

You became interested in his “story” because you read 550k huh?



Dude, swerve
@OP, you’d better not DM no one for business opportunities.....the 550k you mentioned is making em convulse
Good luck champ!

Houseofglam7:


You became interested in his “story” because you read 550k huh?



Dude, swerve
@OP, you’d better not DM no one for business opportunities.....the 550k you mentioned is making em convulse
Good luck champ!

I actually have helped him and you can ask if I asked him for a DIME.... pls next time check a person's record before opening your mouth to say what you do not know.... The OP himself will tell you I helped him.... I gave him simple rare opportunities and little wisdom of how to save his money without loosing it..

You are wicked for casting aspersions on me but your time will come.

What goes around always comes around.

ikh777:


I actually have helped him and you can ask if I asked him for a DIME.... pls next time check a person's record before opening your mouth to say what you do not know.... The OP himself will tell you I helped him.... I gave him simple rare opportunities and little wisdom of how to save his money without loosing it..

You are wicked for casting aspersions on me but your time will come.

What goes around always comes around.

No loitering here... keep moving
President Helpers Worldwide Association(PHWA)






















I’m wicked?
You’re heartless and possessed

Nuff said, Okay BYE

Suzie1:


He posted at 1:18am, you posted your reply at 1:20am. In 2 minutes, you've already read the post 3 times and understood his pain. You now want him to inbox you in capital letters?

Shame on scammers and avaricious people because they will always live in abject poverty.

My fellow Sherlock Holmes, hats off to you
Dude be foaming at the mouth coz he read 550k
Desperate times

ikh777:

I gave him simple rare opportunities and little wisdom of how to save his money without loosing it..

This is Nigeria where nothing goes for nothing. Next time post the advice on the thread if truly you have no ulterior motive. Others too can learn. That's why it's called a public forum. Messaging the OP privately when you read 550k is suspicious.

Houseofglam7:



No loitering here... keep moving
President Helpers Worldwide Association(PHWA)






















I’m wicked?
You’re heartless and possessed

Nuff said, Okay BYE

You are on your period abi... so you have words to spare... pls enjoy your sunday

Morningstar12:
Hello everyone, please bear with me this is going to be a long read but I'll try and make it as short as possible as I can and bear with me if there are any errors. I need advice on how to go about a situation now that's eating me up even as I type these words I'm so angry and sad..

So here goes my story :
I'm the last born of a family of four. My oldest sister, immediate older brother and my mother. Then me. We are suppose to be five though but my oldest brother died when I was just 3 years old.. My Dad left when I was just a foetus in the womb and threatened to kill my mother on the day of my birth but I'm glad I could made it out alive safely. He left then been to be with another woman that bore him 3 sons one of the boys is a year older than me. Tells you about his extra marital affairs He's been seeing this woman while with my mother I don't want to go into so much details about that. I completed 24 last month. I couldn't proceed with my education due to lack of finance and had to learn a tiling skill though I don't get jobs to do always but I get a contract from time to time. I have a passion for music and I've written a couple of songs which I plan to record soon. I have big dreams, plans I want to see come to fruition. I have been able to save up 550k in my savings account and now I'm planning on relocating to the city because I still live with my mom and my older sister in our family house no one lives there except us. I have my own room there though I don't like to see it that way because any family member that visits likes to sleep in that room. Last year I had it painted, bought a carpet and a plasma 32" TV and also a generator set to provide us electricity and keep us entertained. Though it's a room but it also serves as a parlour because my uncle from the city brought back some of his chairs and properties from the city when his wife and kids left him so we had to put the chairs there and some of his clothes with Ghana must go are kept separately in one corner just to secure them. My uncle left afterwards anyways. This house we live in now was built by maternal grand Dad. It's an old mud house but was plastered and you wouldn't even notice because it was the trend back then and this house is just along a few walks away from a major express road outside. It has two stores rented out. The problem I'm having now is my immediate older brother. He left last year to the city because he's into Tailoring and was making use of one of the rooms inside as a store instead of renting a proper store after he was done with learning but my mother didn't mind thinking he is only making use of it temporary to make some money to rent a proper store. It has been almost five years now since he's been sewing in that room and he doesn't seem like someone who wants to leave.
The first quarter of last year he decided that he wanted to relocate to the capital city though we advice him against it and encouraged him to check out some semi cities but he refused and told us that's where his future is. It actually took 2 years of announcing to everyone that he wants to travel before he actually traveled. Meanwhile while he was making use of that room in the family house for a temporary store he rented a room in the town 20 mins drive away from where we live. Before leaving for the capital city he discharged everything he had even gave his small bed away to a friend and brought back a few electronics and kept in my mother's room..

My sister gave birth to her baby last November and he came back then. He told us he came because of the baby. He went back after a week and during the season that's last December he called and told us he's coming back to do some seasonal work because this time people want to see new wears and his customer base is here. He said he'll go back afterwards but since then he has been here squatting with me inside the room. He traveled one time and told us he went to rent an apartment there for 230k in warri because now he sees the life in Abuja is expensive and for the rich. Can you imagine it's going to six months now since he came back from that travel and he's still here.
My sister is also a tailor though don't get much work to do now due to the lockdown and my mother only provides what she gets from her farm I had to take on the responsibility of making sure that there's money to buy food at home every market. He would eat and not bother and when my mother approaches him about it he would get defensive that he's not working anymore which is a lie. He puts on his Gen to sew most times because people still come around. It got to a point where I got fed up with the whole situation and my mother decided not serve him food anymore until he provides. He is five years older than me he's 29 now and since almost two weeks now he eats by himself. He doesn't even care if his mother gets something to eat I had to take on that responsibility. Just last two weeks we got into a heated argument that led to some exchange of words and I don't care if you are older I give it to you hot if you try to take advantage of me. He insults me says he will give me a beating. I don't want to fight him though. Just tonight we got into another fight that almost got physical my mother has to intervene and her shouting attracted our neighbors. She hasn't been feeling that strong and she was complaining of headache tonight.. I'm so tired of the whole situation. I just need my privacy and peace of mind. I told my mother I'll look for any room to rent somewhere and she pleaded with me not to make some rash decisions.

I'm confused and need help is 550k enough to relocate to a semi city like Akure? I plan to relocate with a close friend though and we've been saving up. We plan to get maybe a two room self contain. Look for tiling jobs to do there and indulge in other things to better our lives. I plan to pursue my passion in music too.

What do you guys think?
Sorry for the long epistle I was waiting for this pandemic thing to be over before I take a leap but I don't like living in the same room with my brother and we don't talk to each other anymore. The sight of him makes me uncomfortable and angry now

At this stage, you have to relocate to anywhere you think you can find your star

You have to be very careful with your brother, he may hurt you and nothing will happen, worst case, he will go to jail

Lastly, your friend must not know that you have such amount of money with you else it will be squandered

Be economical and be wise because if you fall no one will raise you up except God

As for your mum, she will cope until you find your bearing

ikh777:
hmmmm, I read your story thrice and I truly understand your pain.

First before you go I suggest your mother(may God bless and keep her to see you become a superstar) should pray for you.
Kindly listen to PRAY FOR ME BY DARE ART ALADE.... it will help.

Also, please why not use the money to start a business that will give you income monthly.... INBOX ME AND I WILL TEACH YOU WHAT TO DO.... pls do not travel yet.

I am doing this because your story touched me. I am doing this only for you.

OP Morningstar12 be careful about dealing with business proposal from strangers online. In fact, it is advisable to avoid such.


On your relocation plan, try to avoid spending too much on an apartment. You can go for a one room apartment instead of 2. Also try to factor in how you will continue to take care of your mother while away. All the best.

@OP, I'm sure you can get a room for N50K to N60k. This should be your budget. Move into that room when you get one, then continue your tiling business. Place your mum on a monthly stipend of N15K, she should also be productive. As for your sister, let her do nanny job or continue with her tailoring business, you're not her Father. Good luck

But why do people think Abuja is expensive?
Your brother wants to live in the expensive areas abi? Those places are for the big boys.

Go to Lugbe, Bwari, Mpape, Durumi, Apo, or even Karimo. You can get a good self contain in one of these places with 120-140k.

Abuja is not expensive compared to Lagos and Rivers. And hey, you don't only need a place to sleep, you need food to eat, which is available and cheap. At the end of the day, Abuja is a northern city, always remember that.

People should stop with the stereotype about Abuja being expensive.

To your topic....
If you must leave, try to stay on your own. Don't share an apartment with a friend, cos that's something else entirely.
Like someone suggested, use that money to start up something in the town you are relocating to. You can try starting up a laundry business. Just meet guys who are into the business and learn one or two things.

You can be doing your laundry business and still be going for your tiling work.

But that your brother sef...

I wish you all the best sha

qwertyboss:

But kano is fun you do not just stayed in the right areas like Sabon Gari or brigade

Well you might be right.I didn't tour Kano much when I was living there, but did a lot of going around when I went visiting. Happy to see the infrastructure works Oga Gandunje did ,it was a great improvement from Kano of old.