SweetCunt97:
Na, not really. Remove d lazy. You fink its easy taking care of kids and d house? Cool women are no longer satisfied with such life anymore

There's nothing really hard there, I've been through it before.

Godhead4:


There's nothing really hard there, I've been through it before.

Ngwanu become a house husband

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

5 - dont come home drunk, I repeat.. dont come home drunk..you remember the pictures of samloco playing "jobless old drunk" in movie scenes... you look exactly like them to her..

6 - some eatable and chewy chewy groceries stops being in the fridge because you are home most-times and eats to chase boredom.. there is always a secret stash in her room for groundnuts, sharp biscuits, cashew nuts, sweets, etc.. she knows you know, take reasonably

7 - you are at your lowest, dont bring friends doing well too close home, otherwise you might get depressed from comparison

8 - in your many many ideas, you know broke guys reason business ideas like Warren buffet , always sieve out the good ones, because telling her some kind stupid stupid ideas would make you look jobless and stupid also.

9 - the best way to dodge Bill's is to watch your words, avoid some topics, you need to be one step or two ahead everytime.. e.g TV shows, movies, food, clubs etc...
- TV shows - dstv bill comes up
- Movies - cinema bill comes up
- Food - restaurant and taking out comes up..

10 - Do house chores, pick mopping... it's easier, you only start when she is done sweeping and dusting, she goes to bath, you zig-zag and get back to watching (how do they do it) ... use water, avoid bubbles on tiles.. you would redo that work even if its next week..

11 - dont leave the sink messy, especially on work days when you are home job hunting and she is out hustling, bro it's an important rule from a man to a man..

12 - with your many insecurities and the devil trying to use you to bring out your alpha Male, pick your fights... yes they would come, but there is an extent to which a broke man fights and argues..

13 - you would owe her cash a lot, she knows deep down that money is not coming back, but be ready to be dragged about it to pay for essentials you cant do without.. she would pay eventually when you have curled away asking God why.. allow her have it, it's one of her high moments.

14 - in your midnight cries, yes "midnight cries" is most times once a week or twice sha, depending on the days activities... dont disturb her sleep...

15 - be transparent, remove password from your phone, laptops etc... if she is being faithful, infidelity is not something you want attached to "cheating jobless old man"... you cant be broke and cheating, they dont work together..

16 - read, read, read... you have to pass her in something, current affairs, global happenings, worlds economy etc... it is an edge when you throw small small insults inside conversations "so you dont know kyari is dead" those are one of your few high moments..

17 - early morning gisting with her while she baths and makes up, makes her happy.. you can lend some money during those hours.. those are your bankable hours, if you want some extra cash, offer to drop her at work, that's if it's not your duty already oo..

18 - at all, at all, try to provide for fuel for generator, darkness and a man being in the house dont usually go together.. you might start having complex..

19 - always use your car weekends, thats if you have not sold hers and she is using yours. When you use your car weekends for functions not personal waka, she chips or outrightly buys fuel that you can manage during the week for your job hunting activities..

20 - look good, work out and have your CV handy. you need to look the role she currently tells people you are doing.." Frank is okay, he is inbetween jobs, but trying out some ideas with friends".. if the friends ask for your CV, always have it handy, delay is dangerous...

21 - dont be gluttonous, eat moderately like a normal human being, if you finish your meals for the week by wednesday, be ready to fall back to your noodles (refer to rule 2) and yes you would come up with different flavours of home made seasonings only you can eat..

22 - try to curtail your mood swings, she is the only one entitled to it, you need to be happy with smiles when she is making conversations..

23 - make business calls or pretend to make business call.. it's important, it gives her hope you are connecting.. "my brother me and you know say na 10k you dey shout like that for"

24 - go grocery shopping with her, you get to use the opportunity to throw drinks into the cart and remove face immediately, if your eyes jam.. you would return that drink ooo..

25 - if she sends you a link from work, read, watch or chat her to discuss with her, otherwise "what are you doing, that you didn't reply my message follows" , what you were doing must have financial gains ooo never use "I was sleeping" as excuse... dont even try it..

26 - dont call her family, send text message if you can.. dont let them remember you ooo..

27 - during your few chances of sex, dont shoot in, "I repeat", dont shoot in... you may find yourself outside by 1am looking for postinol 2
. the stress in looking for the drug would surpass whatever you managed to enjoy.

28 - be ready for "mistakes" of giving you cash in front of people , it's not everytime she remembers to call you to the corner or give you her card.. it's one of those moments you want the ground to swallow you up.. but my brother "dem no dey use shame swallow spit".. it wont last forever.

Let's me rest here first and continue later... but in all, I love my wife... she is that woman that has your back 100%..

The table has turned for me and am back to my responsibilities, it was a tough period, I learnt a lot, from Anger management to laws of power, it's not a fun place to reside in for a long time....

Most especially:
Marry your friend,
marry your partner in crime,
Marry your day1 niga,
your Gee... when you do, no matter the circumstance, you have some level of peace, some room to pickup and some encouragement to guide you through.

my brother you've spoken well o.

naija4life247:


It is better to die of hunger and to be fed by a woman.

this one is strong

Ryan03:
lol, thats not what I meant bro, a man is meant to provide, that fact cannot be disputed but when you marry a woman who didnt marry you just for your ability to provide, then you know you have a blessing in your life.
A man might meet with misfortune in life doesn't mean he wont stand up again, I don't want a woman who will start running to family and friends to beg simply because things are rough for me, or start prostititing herself because she have nothing doing or will simply walk out the marriage because I am incapable to provide fir a little period. I dont want that woman

Which woman you know, for all the families of married people wey you know, wey no get "something doing"?

Ybaby:



Wow.
Men still exist..... I thought they all drank soya milk and got feminized.

Real men are still around

Ope o!

Correct men dey this forum o.
But they need to speak out so that this young generation go get role models

bukatyne:
How would the man actually work on getting another job if he is avoiding egg shells in the home?

If you both are one, you will navigate the challenge of the man's lack of employment together.

God bless you

tonapuck:


My dad lost his job and his wife never for one second disrespect him, to the extent that we children thought our father was still the one providing for our needs then, anything she buys she says your father bought this for you, we thought our father has saved lot of money not knowing our mother was the doing everything. She bought a car and we thought our father bought it. After 2years when things were back to normal for him, he told us our mother was the breadwinner of the house for the past 2years. He can die for her.

Either your dad played his man role as a provider well before losing his job or, he supported your Mum around the house.

He could not NOT have done either.
Talk true small nah.

boyjo:


Correct men dey this forum o.
But they need to speak out so that this young generation go get rope models

You are right!

jaxxy:


It doesn’t to me, the problem is the mindset. I have never said, the man doesn’t do stuffs in a relationship or marriage. And weather he does or don’t do he is the leader of the family. This is my point.

A ship can’t sail without a captain. I dont know why ladies marry or respect men these days it seems it’s strictly for money. Bt that is a stupid thing to do if u ask me. When u can make ur own money. The leaderships of the home is not a conditional one once u agree to marriage.

If a lady provides for herself inside marriage (and all you do is laze around rather than been seen trying to get a job or work), Na your self respect you wan loose be that except no be woman we dey talk about.

Your ability to provide for your family is WHAT makes you head of the home.

You need to understand that.

When you understand that deeply,
even when you are down, seeing that Missus has taken over the providerrole, you must support her because she is now carrying your weight plus her own.

You must support her instead of seeing the call to support her as a sign of disrepect.
You want her to collapse under the weight abi you no love am again.

Anyways, make we no fight.

boyjo:


If a lady provides for herself inside marriage (and all you do is laze around rather than been seen trying to get a job or work), Na your self respect you wan loose be that except no be woman we dey talk about.

Your ability to provide for your family is WHAT makes you head of the home.

You need to understand that.

When you understand that deeply,
even when you are down, seeing that Missus has taken over the providerrole, you must support her because she is now carrying your weight plus her own.

You must support her instead of seeing the call to support her as a sign of disrepect.
You want her to collapse under the weight abi you no love am again.

Anyways, make we no fight.

Support her like u weren’t supporting her b4? I don’t get this role interchange just necks if who is providing at a particular point in time.

Even if the man was earning I expect him to support and not sit back. This is always a partnership and has nothing to do with who is earning more. By default the man leads also.

The role interchange for money sake is unnecessary and uncalled for. Unless by irresponsible and rude woman/wives.

jaxxy:


Support her like u weren’t supporting her b4? I don’t get this role interchange just necks if who is providing at a particular point in time.

Even if the man was earning I expect him to support and not sit back. This is always a partnership and has nothing to do with who is earning more. By default the man leads also.

The role interchange for money sake is unnecessary and uncalled for. Unless by irresponsible and rude woman/wives.

Nah you "modern" people dey describe marriage as partnership.
Marriage no suppose be business venture o. But you "modern" people wan dey see am like a profit making venture

Which man dey provide 100% for im household
come still dey wash plate join?
(I no talk about that 50/50 nonsense because you no dey help your wife carry belle for half of the 9 months. Abi 50/50 na for only money because e favour you as the man?)

Na 50/50 men dey wash plate, dey mop house.

boyjo:


Nah you "modern" people dey describe marriage as partnership.
Marriage no suppose be business venture o. But you "modern" people wan dey see am like a profit making venture

Which man dey provide 100% for im household
come still dey wash plate join?
(I no talk about that 50/50 nonsense because you no dey help your wife carry belle for half of the 9 months. Abi 50/50 na for only money because e favour you as the man?)

Na 50/50 men dey wash plate, dey mop house.

I don’t know where u guys get this mentality from to be honest. I personally know a man who earns serveral times more than his wife, told her to resign and be a full time house wife and still he does most of the cooking when he’s not at work cos he enjoys it. He helps out in the house when necessary.

So what has who makes the money got to do with anything??! That’s my personal view here.

Ladies don’t have to be rude cos they want to prove a point.

jaxxy:


I don’t know where u guys get this mentality from to be honest. I personally know a man who earns serveral times more than his wife, told her to resign and be a full time house wife and still he does most of the cooking when he’s not at work cos he enjoys it. He helps out in the house when necessary.

So what has who makes the money got to do with anything??! That’s my personal view here.

Ladies don’t have to be rude cos they want to prove a point.

He is the exception.
You are not married. The Op is.
You can see comment from a lot of married men here, dem dey hail am.

Na make person learn.
Neither did you hear the Op say his wife was rude.
Neither did you also gear the Op say the wife gave him those rules.

Those were his coping tips and they work!

how does one react when d tables r turned cos all these would still be repeated...u just can't win fam

boyjo:


Which woman you know, for all the families of married people wey you know, wey no get "something doing"?

my guy, they many. And they are the once more prone to domestic abuse. Dont get me wrong, working class ladies are also prone to same but its more on the full time house wives

Ryan03:
my guy, they many. And they are the once more prone to domestic abuse. Dont get me wrong, working class ladies are also prone to same but its more on the full time house wives

I know say them many.
I dey talk of the ones wey YOU KNOW.
Count all the married people for your neighborhood and also count the married couples of close relatives.
From that total, count the ones wey dey work and the ones wey no dey work.
E get why.

jaxxy:


I don’t know where u guys get this mentality from to be honest. I personally know a man who earns serveral times more than his wife, told her to resign and be a full time house wife and still he does most of the cooking when he’s not at work cos he enjoys it. He helps out in the house when necessary.

So what has who makes the money got to do with anything??! That’s my personal view here.

Ladies don’t have to be rude cos they want to prove a point.

He is the exception.
You are not married. The Op is.
You can see comment from a lot of married men here, some even talk say if you no fit do wetin the OP talk, disappear.
You wan tell me say all of them no know wetin dem dey talk?
Na make person learn.

Neither did you hear the Op say his wife was rude.
Neither did you also gear the Op say the wife gave him those rules to follow.

Those were his coping tips and they work!

lord i don't want to marry a wife and still be broke that my wife will be richer than me lord i don't want to marry any lady that will make feel like am still single lord i don't want to marry a slay mama, lord i don't want to marry a nigerian girl, lord please before i click the age of marriage i want to be self made

bukatyne:
How would the man actually work on getting another job if he is avoiding egg shells in the home?

If you both are one, you will navigate the challenge of the man's lack of employment together.

I would have said easier said than done, then I see its you. I want to believe you can do it.

Essenza01 wow, that was alot, i could relate to this few years back my then ex was earning close to 3m per month in this same Nigeria where people are crying for 50k jobs. I wasn't doing bad at all but not like she was, the babe could travel to 3 different countries within 1 week. passport page don full no were to stamp again while i was still forming local champion, I've never felt that low, thank God things are different now.

Essenza01:
Jobless husband diaries!!

Here are some guidelines for unemployed husbands with working wives., when you read through with an open mind, you would see it's not she looking down on you, it's just you being smart to be able to have your sanity and getting some advantages while praying for a change.. Hang in there guys, you are not alone, tables turn... you would be fine.

1 - Never discuss your predicament beyond the normal and never show weakness in front of your wife.. "she dont want to see hopelessness"..

2 - buy a lot of noodles, you would be needing it a lot, especially during your strong head periods, you dont win most fights, most fights end with "Oya buy it naa" that's usually when you add the convo to your lost battles ..

3 - your meals majorly come in two options if any
Rice or noodles?
Beans or noodles?
Eba or noodles?

Semo or pounds is too stressful, dont opt to make ... stress was only the surface reason given to you..

4 - sex is usually delayed, when ever you see one just accept and be ready for maybe max two position change, some styles may be banned..

5 - dont come home drunk, I repeat.. dont come home drunk..you remember the pictures of samloco playing "jobless old drunk" in movie scenes... you look exactly like them to her..

6 - some eatable and chewy chewy groceries stops being in the fridge because you are home most-times and eats to chase boredom.. there is always a secret stash in her room for groundnuts, sharp biscuits, cashew nuts, sweets, etc.. she knows you know, take reasonably

7 - you are at your lowest, dont bring friends doing well too close home, otherwise you might get depressed from comparison

8 - in your many many ideas, you know broke guys reason business ideas like Warren buffet , always sieve out the good ones, because telling her some kind stupid stupid ideas would make you look jobless and stupid also.

9 - the best way to dodge Bill's is to watch your words, avoid some topics, you need to be one step or two ahead everytime.. e.g TV shows, movies, food, clubs etc...
- TV shows - dstv bill comes up
- Movies - cinema bill comes up
- Food - restaurant and taking out comes up..

10 - Do house chores, pick mopping... it's easier, you only start when she is done sweeping and dusting, she goes to bath, you zig-zag and get back to watching (how do they do it) ... use water, avoid bubbles on tiles.. you would redo that work even if its next week..

11 - dont leave the sink messy, especially on work days when you are home job hunting and she is out hustling, bro it's an important rule from a man to a man..

12 - with your many insecurities and the devil trying to use you to bring out your alpha Male, pick your fights... yes they would come, but there is an extent to which a broke man fights and argues..

13 - you would owe her cash a lot, she knows deep down that money is not coming back, but be ready to be dragged about it to pay for essentials you cant do without.. she would pay eventually when you have curled away asking God why.. allow her have it, it's one of her high moments.

14 - in your midnight cries, yes "midnight cries" is most times once a week or twice sha, depending on the days activities... dont disturb her sleep...

15 - be transparent, remove password from your phone, laptops etc... if she is being faithful, infidelity is not something you want attached to "cheating jobless old man"... you cant be broke and cheating, they dont work together..

16 - read, read, read... you have to pass her in something, current affairs, global happenings, worlds economy etc... it is an edge when you throw small small insults inside conversations "so you dont know kyari is dead" those are one of your few high moments..

17 - early morning gisting with her while she baths and makes up, makes her happy.. you can lend some money during those hours.. those are your bankable hours, if you want some extra cash, offer to drop her at work, that's if it's not your duty already oo..

18 - at all, at all, try to provide for fuel for generator, darkness and a man being in the house dont usually go together.. you might start having complex..

19 - always use your car weekends, thats if you have not sold hers and she is using yours. When you use your car weekends for functions not personal waka, she chips or outrightly buys fuel that you can manage during the week for your job hunting activities..

20 - look good, work out and have your CV handy. you need to look the role she currently tells people you are doing.." Frank is okay, he is inbetween jobs, but trying out some ideas with friends".. if the friends ask for your CV, always have it handy, delay is dangerous...

21 - dont be gluttonous, eat moderately like a normal human being, if you finish your meals for the week by wednesday, be ready to fall back to your noodles (refer to rule 2) and yes you would come up with different flavours of home made seasonings only you can eat..

22 - try to curtail your mood swings, she is the only one entitled to it, you need to be happy with smiles when she is making conversations..

23 - make business calls or pretend to make business call.. it's important, it gives her hope you are connecting.. "my brother me and you know say na 10k you dey shout like that for"

24 - go grocery shopping with her, you get to use the opportunity to throw drinks into the cart and remove face immediately, if your eyes jam.. you would return that drink ooo..

25 - if she sends you a link from work, read, watch or chat her to discuss with her, otherwise "what are you doing, that you didn't reply my message follows" , what you were doing must have financial gains ooo never use "I was sleeping" as excuse... dont even try it..

26 - dont call her family, send text message if you can.. dont let them remember you ooo..

27 - during your few chances of sex, dont shoot in, "I repeat", dont shoot in... you may find yourself outside by 1am looking for postinol 2
. the stress in looking for the drug would surpass whatever you managed to enjoy.

28 - be ready for "mistakes" of giving you cash in front of people , it's not everytime she remembers to call you to the corner or give you her card.. it's one of those moments you want the ground to swallow you up.. but my brother "dem no dey use shame swallow spit".. it wont last forever.

Let's me rest here first and continue later... but in all, I love my wife... she is that woman that has your back 100%..

The table has turned for me and am back to my responsibilities, it was a tough period, I learnt a lot, from Anger management to laws of power, it's not a fun place to reside in for a long time....

Most especially:
Marry your friend,
marry your partner in crime,
Marry your day1 niga,
your Gee... when you do, no matter the circumstance, you have some level of peace, some room to pickup and some encouragement to guide you through.

I love you bro........ Perfect points