My name is Bako and this is memoir from my teenage years in Ajegunle, lagos.
I was 16 when me and Emeka decided that by fire by force, before the year runs out, we must renounce our membership from the Virgin Boys Association. The pressure from peers was suppressing every single right we needed to associate and not exhibit complexes.
Then, being an Otondo (as we were called) was tantamount to an outcast of a Pre colonial Igbo village. You don’t talk when the self acclaimed enlightened Boys are talking. When the gang talk about girls, if you try open your gutter to contribute, you, yourself and that your talk will be met with a loud umbrage “ssssssshhhhhhhh Shut up Dia!”
We were fed up and needed this sense of belonging, to walk and rub shoulders with the big boys and not be spat upon with all shades of sounds made by the lip when the index finger is placed on it.
I have a girlfriend whom I wouldn’t dare mention sex to…..
ahhhhhhh’ I trust Anita, she wii just be beat me die with words of the mouth!
To earn an ordinary hug from her, I must’ve submitted my application letter 48 hours before the big day and bought her meat pie and Pepsi Orobor for 3 consecutive days.
Emeka, on the other hand, was a very hapless human being. When God was sharing the liver needed to toast girls, he probably went to shit and missed the big opportunity. He is scared of girls, talk more of being a big boy like me that even have a girlfriend.
Truth be told, we were just two teenagers with the same problem but in different colour.
Me I fear Anita.. Him, fear girls… then who will help us untie this asphyxiating Virginity noose that’s won’t allow us to drink water and keep Cup peacefully?
Pastor said the hottest parts of hell are reserved for gays, Me I don’t want to go to hell fire and its remaining 2months before 2013 goes into oblivion!
Till today, I don’t know who brought the idea that we should visit a Brothel.. Lemme be raw sef, I mean “Ashawo House!”
I swear izz not me, and I can bet my last 100 naira it wasn’t Emeka also. That boy was a good boy who landed in the wrong part of Earth, Ajegunle. As for me ehn, I deserved the Ajegunle, my proclivity for going on wild adventures is A+.
Well, to avoid blame game for now, let’s just say it was the Devil that brought the idea!
I repeat, don’t blame us!..... Blame the Devil!
We were elated, finally, a solution alas! Adieu to virginity!
The big day came, I disguised with a face cap and changed my gait to that of an Agbero as I walked into the House of Pleasure.
I just can’t risk being seen by Amebo people who wii na go and tell my Mother, Mama Akara, that they saw me somewhere….. Saw who at where!
Aaaahhhh! She wii just massage all my bones with turning Garri Stick. She said I’m too thick that ordinary cain can never have effect on me. So her choice for Correction tools range from Bamboo, Two by Two Stick, Iron rod, Broom nyansh, and the most preferred, which is the almighty “turning garri stick” that turns you to a limp in just 1minute of engagement.
That woman? I fear her!...... I wonder if all Igala Mothers are like this!
I looked at my side, saw Emeka too doing his own newly invented style of walking. We die here!
One thing about those hustling hantys is that, they don’t mind the age difference between you and them. Small pikin no consyn dem, as long as you got the money, you are in for some Shugar!
Out of respect for this age long profession, I won’t tell you how much we paid for a quickie.
Just know that Emeka went in with one tall dark skinned hanty. and me, you know I like them yellow & curvy na!
We got inside the room, adrenaline rush make me pull off Shirt sharp sharp.
The thought of me getting laid was enough orgasm already. I was shaking with excitement and Hanty was just there, looking at me with a kind of smile I don’t know whether to call seductive or malevolent.
Then something happened, something that made me question my stars whether it’s unfortunate or just don’t have sense.
…… Why me ?
…. Why not the Mango shaped head Emeka that doesn’t have any liver in him?
…. Who did I offend!
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………. To be continue!,
I’m hungry, lemme go and buy Bobo and Cheese balls first!

Do and come back... I must read d end of this story.

Mrkcee:
Do and come back... I must read d end of this story.

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anticipate..... i'll post it shortly..... thanks for the feedback

Adieu Virginity Part 2!
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Then something happened, something that made me questioned my stars whether it’s unfortunate or just don’t have sense.
…… Why me ?
…. Why not the Mango shaped head Emeka that doesn’t have any liver in him?
…. Who did I offend!

As if a script was handed to Hanty before I came by (Only God knows who), she started narrating and rehearsing her role of a show spoiler.
Words so sharp, it pierced my consciousness and sent jitters down my spines. She was so confident like an FBI agent who has gathered incriminating evidence enough to earn her suspect death by hanging.
She threw questions at me. Questions she already knew the answers;

“No be ur Mama be dat Kogi Woman wey dey sell Akara for that junction, Dat woman wey get Igala mark like this?”….. She said, while drawing imaginary lines on her face with an over bleached hand.

“Ehn!!!”…I recoiled with shock immediately.
The small erection that I’ve gathered disappeared without traces.

“Talk na…. No be she?”

“hhhhmmm hhhuuummm…Na na”.. I stuttered.
Words failed me,
Jesu! My well planned cover is blown.
Mission compromised!

“Your Mama na good woman na, why you wan come spoil like dis?”

Her icy words stopped the circulation of blood in my body. I became numb and I knew convulsion was not farfetched.
Despite my bodily and psychological breakdown, Hanty still continue with her tormenting sermon;

“Cee dis kind life ehn, E no fit you at all. U no know say u fit get HIV? Shey you go like am if I report you to your Mama?”

At the mention of “Report” ehn, I regained consciousness….

You say wetyn!
Report to who that I visited Ashawo house? … Mama Akara!..
kukuma hand me over to the firing squad let them shoot me with bomb!
Kukuma tie my John Thomas to a Dangote truck, let it drag me on the Potholes decorated streets of Ajegunle!

I started begging with teary eyes;

“Hanty abeg no tell my mummy, I no go come again… abeg, I no go…Again for my life.. I swear”

“No ooo, I must tell!”

“Abeg na…. I use God beg you… She go kill me”

“Okay.. I don forgive you.. I no go tell, but if I see you here next time wetyn make I do you?

“Bury me… kill me… Beat me..Report me!”

“Ehn ehn!…Just know say if I catch you here or any other lungu for this street next time ehn, ur own don finish!.. U don hear?”

“Yes sa…. Sorry… yes ma”

“ Oya dey go!”

“Ma.. Ma..Make I dey go?”

“Yes na, abi you no wan go?!”

“My Mo..Money kon?”

“You say wetyn? Abi you want make I call your Mama number now!” (grabs phone)

“No than.. thank you…. I go go”

“Better, greet your mummy for me oo!”

(Door opens and shuts loudly)
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When I got outside, Emeka was not out yet. The thought of him crossing the Rubicon of virginity before me saddens me the more. After 20 minutes of brooding over what could have been, I saw him walking towards me with a grin that clearly tells the shackles were off his Sukrruutum.
The idiot has tasted the forbidden fruit!
And
I was there to congratulate him with a handshake;

“Bad guy, I know say you don give am hot hot”

“Hahahha…Bako, you know me na, I be confirm Nwanne! finally we no be Otondo boys again!.. hahahaha”

…………….I didn’t say anything…
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Then something whispered into my ears that its either I go with the flow or risk being the runt of the litter forever.
Emeka that shares my pain with me is no longer a virgin, how will I survive the scorn and “ssshhhhhhh shut up dia” of Femi, Daniel, and the bad mouthed Gozie alone ?
Hell no, tonight we lost it together!
So I ignited the Koko Master vibe, took two steps backward and gesticulated as if I’m wrapping hot fufu in a nylon;

“Emeka my guy, you wan try as I knack that babe?”

“ Odogwu Tell me something!”…. his eyes brightened with enthusiasm

“ I hammer am.. knack am… hahahaha.. Na she even dey beg me to stop!”

“Hahahahaha…. I trust you Bako da superstar. My guy wey sabi”

“You know say I no dey dull na?”

“Bako! My bad nigga!”
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After that night, Emeka lived with the illusion that we both gbenssh for the first time and on the same night in that Brothel. It took me 3 years to tell him everything that transpired that night.
All thanks to the 2 Bottles of Gulder that shook my brain and made me leaked like a Basket. I watched his jaw dropped as I narrate how the Hanty collected my money, blackmailed me and threw me out.

“Bako call God say you serious!”……was the only thing he could utter!

Me that was high, I was just there looking at him as if someone stole my brain.
After a long silence of betrayal, shock and incredulity, he patted my shoulders and said;

“Idiot don’t worry, when I study Law finish, I go help you sue her to Court for Blackmail and Breach of Contract!”

“Hahhahahaha!”…… I laughed hysterically, not like a mad man, but as a mad man that I am anytime I’ve gulped more drinks than my Brain could handle.
And
the rest is history!

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Adieu Virginity!

*Drops Mic*

I cannot shout. This is so interesting. But seriously, dat hanty Olosho should balance u afterall u didn't do naa. .
I guess she wanted to mess u up d very moment u entered there but waited to have ur money first.
I can imagine d shock u felt

Mrkcee:

I cannot shout. This is so interesting. But seriously, dat hanty Olosho should balance u afterall u didn't do naa. .
I guess she wanted to mess u up d very moment u entered there but waited to have ur money first.
I can imagine d shock u felt

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hahahaha, absolutely no be small shock!