chubaba22:



I was calmly waiting to know where you come from before I respond. Our culture never forbid that, morality and correctness doesn't counter it in Igbo traditions too. The age gap is almost perfect and she is gradually creeping into menopause.


Moreover you should be the closest relative that can help out. 99.9% percent of those who are advising you against it knows nothing about its implications in our customs.

My advice, help your late uncle stabilise his lineage. If you are finding it difficult to do it on your own, seek the advice and consent of other significant figure in the extended family. And more importantly don't let your affair with her affect your family - it is very possible

Exactly, this has remain a culture in Igbo land, what she is requesting for is better than getting it out side

If he is her choice so let it be

Your late uncle will be glad wherever he is that you did not allow his lineage to close

Any one that is core Igbo by origin understands that it is the practice to carry on a lineage

But with the full consent of his kins men

femi4:
That was Old testament, Christianity didn't start there

As Christians: Study Old testament to learn how they lived but study new testament to know how to live

Good then , we don't have to pay tithes then since it was mentioned in the old testament

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

That was Old Testament

Don't brother run ooo

Modesthy

Please don't mind those quoting Bible saying it's okay, Bible supports it. Even the devil quotes Bible. {See Matthew 4}

Bible is against it. It's adultery and it's blood relationship, which is no longer permitted. In the beginning it was permitted because God didn't want anything to do with people (heathen) outside Israel.

SHOW HER Romans 7:2-3 and 1Corinthians 7:10-11, 39. Very plain. She should remarry.

Finally, Don't fear man. FEAR GOD.

Modesthy:


I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

Except if she is just in love with you. But I think the best person who would have gotten her pregnant again if she so desire should be any other of ur uncle or your dad if they want.
Your parents am sure will not accept you do that.
And no matter how hidden it is now, after the deed has been done, the secret burst open and may even end up causing serious issue. Think of women, think of desperation, think of jealousy.
Except if there is no elderly men in you family anymore and your family been threatened to go on extinction if no more male child is born, then you may think it deep before doing such.

Avoid what will cause regrets later.

michlins:
I have to tell you but there's nothing wrong with what she asked. She told you that she wants the child from within the family and she has stayed to mourn your uncle respectfully.


This is totally in line with our tradition as Igbo people. Even the Bible supports the idea

Must be approved by elders in the family or community, it's never done secretly in Igbo tradition.

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

Please Read the Bible Very Well, God did put Onan to Death because he slept with her brother wife but refuse to put the semen into her, that makes God angry to kill him. if he refuse to slept with his late brother wife God will not have kill him.

Mindlog:


Ikuchi nwanyi (which many have done away with due to Christianity and westernization) have to involve other members of the family. You having a child with her would mean she will be more of your second wife and you will also have obligations to provide for her and the children and constantly spending time at her place and having sexual relationships with her as she is more or less also your wife because what she is presenting to you is the need to procreate but companionship will also be in the mix.

Ask yourself, should you impregnate her will you not be spending time away from your own wife and go be with her during her pregnancy and birth?

Will it not affect your marriage?

Does it align with the faith you profess?

In summary, traditions evolves and not cast on stone.

The most candid advice

femi4:
That was Old testament, Christianity didn't start there

As Christians: Study Old testament to learn how they lived but study new testament to know how to live

What's the business of the Bible here? This is African tradition as it affects our contemporary society, not some subject of Vatican debate.

Arkmanbuddy:



What if the other family member is married, wouldn't that be adultery also?

No they will be legally married it's like inheriting his brother property

mamaafrik:
hmmm,thank you uncle,but the phone you use in typing,is it made in Nigeria,is there no Afrione in Nigeria that you can buy,many of you will just open mouth like kuje prison gate and paint the kind of brain you beget

Help yourself. Nigeria has enough oil. Why selling Benin oil in Nigeria.

Please go and give more Children biko the woman is right be fast about it don't mind all this fake people everywhere advising you not to do it if they where in your shoes dey will fvck the living hell out of the woman or do you want another man to take every thing that belongs to your Uncle that means your dead Uncle will break your head one day

My position is that in as much as i am totally in support of ur late uncle's wife, i also salute ur consideration having brought the matter hereon. BUT it is important to understand the kind of woman she is....tolerance, understanding, wisdom , divine intervention is key amongst you, ur wife and the woman in order to forge ahead seamlessly.

I am convinced from all angle that u (OP) are a betterman (if not best) for the job. all that is needed is the consultation and subsequent ratification by kinsmen.

pls OP tell us after all these our advice what is ur eventual line of action o. i just hope its not a nollywood script as its at times stressful to put words together talkless of typing epistles.

You're so on point.. Technology has made it so easy this days that he mustn't sleep with her to impregnate her. The woman has an in-depth love for the family. Doesn't want to leave the family.. And don't want a mix blood in the family.. All this young ones advicing what they have no knowledge about..

Nairaland adviser are so funny...You all should go to your villages and ask the wise elders, this is not an abomination..

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

nick50:
My dear her demands are not ungodly as u may think but its also in d bible..that woman is now ur wife and u need to take care of her needs too..just all few elders in ur family to legalise it then take over ..God will bless u as u do this

God will certainly punish the elders. So OP's wife will just sit back while the stupid elders pass judgement and decide on the need/choice of a second wife?

Sotland:
You're so on point.. Technology has made it so easy this days that he mustn't sleep with her to impregnate her. The woman has an in-depth love for the family. Doesn't want to leave the family.. And don't want a mix blood in the family.. All this young ones advicing what they have no knowledge about..

Nairaland adviser are so funny...You all should go to your villages and ask the wise elders, this is not an abomination..

It's not an abomination to sleep with another woman while you're married? It's not an abomination to marry another woman after seeing the magistrate to make your vows?

Just make sure you marry a poorly enlightened village woman from your community while your lazy chiefs are passing that judgement.

Don't go and say this nonsense in a society or family with lawyers and magistrates.

that woman should be investigated

Modesthy:


I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

first of all, what killed your late uncle? that's a good place to start.

JustAboyy:

From his tone it's obvious he's shagging the wife. They are now torn on whether to get pregnant for him or not, that's what brought him here.

It is obvious...

Don't mind him

frozen70:


As terrible as you are, right ?

Dont worry, if u are really a female, may such be done unto to you as you have written.

If you are a Male, if you see it that it is not bad, may such be done unto your sister.

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

For her to even suggest having a child for you when you are married it means ypu and her have been having amorous relationship before and after your uncle's passing. I put it to you that your wish for your uncle killed him to pave the way for you.

I have a word for you, your downfall will be disastrous if you dont stop. Your wife and children will learn of the atrocities of their dad. Think do you want that.

Just do it. I see nothing morally wrong in that in it's objectivity. But if ur faith says otherwise and you want to follow it, then go ahead. But for me, u just have to iron out somethings so she won't be a problem between u and ur wife but I say unto you, do it!

kyng:

No they will be legally married it's like inheriting his brother property

What if the Uncle doesn't have a brother again, just OP as a nephew? We cannot be sentimental about things like this.

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

So your cousin will be a brother to your child?

How complicated.... Surprised that you are confused on what to do.

Voche Baby Products are effective, yet gentle, on sensitive skin. They soothes and softens. They are suitable for use on eczema prone skin, protects against rashes, removes blemishes.
The body milk leaves a protective emollient barrier on the skin that helps to prevent further dryness, made with natural extracts and Artificial FRAGRANCE FREE.
Made in Europe. NAFDAC APPROVED
Premium products, made Affordable.
visit www.voche.eu

sassysure:

Which igbo culture?
Have u seen where it's done?
Has anybody from.your family done that?
Is it in your constitution ie ùmùnna constitution or part of the customary law?

That is how this has been going on for ages and people actually believed so and has entitlement right over it.

If you're not Igbo it's better for you to keep quiet than to be asking mundane questions here!

frozen70:


From the look of things, she loves your family and doest want to remarry

Yes she us still at her productive age and wants an additional child

You have to bring it to the notice of the most elderly in your family, if you guys are all living peacefully

She knows that she is better of having a child from your family rather than getting a different blood from outside

It's usually done but with top secret from the kind men

The essence of involving the kins men is to accept the child into the family setting

Inform your dad if he is still around and in the absence of your dad the most senior in the family must be informed

As for your wife I think she doesn't need to be aware as I said earlier it's a top secret

But bear in mind that the child or children from her have no share in whatever you have and you don't have any financial obligations on the child unless you wish

Your main job is to pregnant her and see her through delivery after that, you pull out or continue if you can make it codedly

You truly understand the Igbo culture!