Few months to their marriage, she got an employment with FG. The whole family (extended inclusive) suggested she took the job even though she had something doing around here (may not be as well paying). The promise was that she would soon be transferred back home. Husband took this in good fate considering the condition of the extended family (her parents) but it seems he is regretting that now.
It is now 2 years and still counting, only hopes that she would soon be transferred. They now have a baby and of course she has to take care of the baby away from the husband.
Now to make matters worse, she suggested she would like to go for her masters abroad.
please advice,

koko_oro:

Few months to their marriage, she got an employment with FG. The whole family (extended inclusive) suggested she took the job even though she had something doing around here (may not be as well paying). The promise was that she would soon be transferred back home. Husband took this in good fate considering the condition of the extended family (her parents) but it seems he is regretting that now.
It is now 2 years and still counting, only hopes that she would soon be transferred. They now have a baby and of course she has to take care of the baby away from the husband.
Now to make matters worse, she suggested she would like to go for her masters abroad.
please advice,

Does the wife know how the husband is feeling right now?.When something is unfavorable for you,please first step is to Speak out to the concerned party,wait for their response and then decide ur next line of action.For all I know,its possible this lady does not even have an idea that the hubby is not OK with the whole set-up.
Man,go tell ur wife ur problem.
Btwn,career wud be the last thing to keep me away from my husband.

Well, He seems to have raised the issue a couple of times. He seems to have contemplated a lot of things and of recent infidelity is one of them. I really feel sorry for him.

Infidelity is never a solution,let him try first and see,If anything its a temporal succor for cowards;Its either u brave the storm,get ur home in one piece or get a divorce.
Is it possible for him to re-locate to same city as his wife?
As the extended family seems to have a say in this family,he might have to inform them of this development.

If i get him right, he is trying his best to ensure the family comes together but you guy's and ego. He loves his wife but he keeps feeling the fact that he is too reliable/trustworthy is making the wife/family take him for granted and he agreed with me he doesn't have the balls for adultery

I think they should have had the talk before she left. It should not have been "when she gets transferred" but the date at which she would return. It should have been clear what he could handle before she left. The problem now is that if he stops her (both from working and furthering her education) he will hear it every single day for the rest of their lives.

Compare the jobs and see who gets better pay. It its the wife's job that pays well, hubby should try to relocate and find one there and vice versa. Btw, if she wants to go abroad, who will tke care of the baby? Why do these people run after money?

Looks like the whole issue started in the lead up to their marriage, when the opinion of the whole family was taken on board.

I value the importance of the extended family, but I think the best thing for any young couple to do is to set the boundaries for decision making very early (preferably as soon as they decide to get married).

He should be assertive and tell her how he really feels. Assertiveness, rather than being seen in a negative light should be seen positively as it gives each partner the confidence that there's no hidden ill feeling.
She too should be assertive.

Sometimes in these cases, it's very difficult to advise a couple on what the best decision to take is. The best thing one can do is advise them about HOW to reach that decision.

Their confidence in the final decisions should come from the fact that they've both aired their views and have come to a conclusion that is best for their young family without any undue outside interference.