Kuns84:



Yes you do, yes fvcking do! Hence the numerous incoherent verbiage and lengthy trash talk.

Even women here can smell the desperation in your comments as you precariously try to prove your "decency" above other men

Being a pick me will not pay you bro

ignore my post,I will ignore yours henceforth.

rockstarB:

Doesnt still make sense to me. There is nothing like maternity fraud. A woman sure knows shes raising her own child aside the case of hospital mix ups. A man shouldn't be made to believe he is his the father of a child when he isn't.

I have acknowledged that both are terrible dear

Scenarios:

- Man cheats and has a child outside of marriage
- Man brings child home and makes family (who may or may not be prepared) take the child in
- Ignoring all the psychological and emotional trauma aside, OP thinks this is acceptable because the man can provide financially and the role of mother is disposable enough to just toss in replacement nurturers like a lightbulb

Even though the woman isn't being deceived into a thinking the child isn hers, a child who she may not be emotionally/mentally prepared to take in is being thrust upon her, the child is also a reminder of her husband's infidelities...I'm not necessarily saying it's better or worse, but is it she suffering THAT much less than the man's scenario like some people are making out..?

- Woman cheats and is carrying a child that doesn't belong to her husband
- Woman doesn't tell husband and the husband is unknowingly taking care of another person's child for God knows how many years

Very traumatizing thing to experience for the husband, many will argue that it's worse because he is being deceived for...a longer period of time? And that time and money would've been spent on a child that isn't his unknowingly. Is the woman not also using her resources on a child that doesn't belong to her? The difference is she's just forced to face it right there and then

Like I said, they're both terrible scenarios, but perceiving one as less terrible doesn't necessarily mean it is 'acceptable'

I feel like a lot of psychological implications are being dismissed, that's why some people think money is enough to just take care of everything (and I won't even go into how Nigerian men aren't these complete 'sole providers' that they keep saying they are online, that's another topic sha..because what if he doesn't have 'money'?).

Mariangeles:


Be realistic, this is Africa where the father gives the child an identity!
It might not matter in other parts of the world, but in Africa, a child who does not know who his father is, not to talk of his family roots, is termed a bastard.

Is this an 'African' thing?

Do you know anywhere lineages are traced by the mother's side? If yes, how many?

Mariangeles:


Who suffers most at the end? The product.

Yup, I feel very bad for the children put in these situations

sassysure:

Blame the Nigerian culture and religion.

The child answers whose name?
The father.
And here who is the father, def not the woman's husband.
So the child don't belong to the family.

U see baby mamas giving their children the surnames of their baby daddies. Why?
Cos at the right time, the child will get to know his father and become part of him. A woman can't get pregnant by another man while married and make the child bear the name of her husband. If it's known, the real father will come for his child whether the woman want it or not. He don't belong to that family.
Then again, unless there is an agreement e.g., if the man is sterile etc. My culture allows that and the child is protected by the laws of the land.
If it's children before marriage, it's understandable and there is always an agreement before saying i do.
Na our society. It's even more of cultural than religious.

No, that wasn’t my point.

He said if there are children from known affairs, only the one from the woman will be termed a bast*rd? That’s not so for all cultures. Isn’t the derogatory word “bast*rd” reserved for a child born to unmarried parents or a child who doesn’t know his father?

My point is both are “bast*rds” if people are being objective and going to use either definition. If the man’s child isn’t a bast*rd because he/she knows his father then the woman’s child can’t be a bast*rd because the child also knows his/her own father. No man or woman should be made to raise one if they don’t want to. What happens here is that women are expected to, why? that’s the crux of this OP not all these derailing happening.

I keep seeing a man 'forcing' his love child on the wife and family.

Nollywood aside, how many men bring their love children home when it is easier and safer to run a parallel family or keep the child/children with his parents/family?

Are you asking whether I can accept a bastard and a cheating mother/wife? Are you normal @OP?

This is a very stup!d question to be honest.

bukatyne:


What has being a MD got to do with the fact a woman committing paternity fraud disrupts the family tree and DNA of the family?

Goodbye, no time for irrationality.

who is irrational between you and I?

Please go make dinner,your mind ain't equipped for intellectual discourse. You fit more in sweeping floors and mopping house than talking online

Are you even aware that you can't hide pregnancy? Listen. A man can f**king cheat without anyone knowing. He can sleep with 50 women, get all pregnant and come back home to his wife and children like nothing happened.

A wife can't do same without the belly protruding in few months. She would need to explain herself to "our" children before discussing the issue of acceptance.

There are certain facts nature has placed upon you you need to accept. Fighting these "facts" could lead to ma.dness

Kuns84:



Spoken like a true mangina. Keep it up ma

a man whose wife has held him back from realising his goals is who is calling another a mangina?

Rot in the jealousy you have for us doctors over here,we dont need dummies like you working with us

So all "men" are meant to think alike on this forum?! Talk about monkey see monkey do

Sheep mentality!



Quote me if you're a fool.

bukatyne:


Is this an 'African' thing?

Do you know anywhere lineages are traced by the mother's side? If yes, how many?

What can I say? Who knows how it's done in other parts of the world?

Jullima:

What are you typing?? Did you even read what I typed?

The topic is children from known affairs.

The love child of a woman knows his/her father and he isn’t a bastard (he knows his father) because the woman is the cheat.

Stop projecting your archaic culture on the rest of Africa, that your culture would call a love child from a woman a bastard and would not do so from a man is not so for the rest of Nigeria sef not to talk of a whole continent.

Call it whatever you want, it is what it is.

ibkayee:

I have acknowledged that both are terrible dear

Scenarios:

- Man cheats and has a child outside of marriage
- Man brings child home and makes family (who may or may not be prepared) take the child in
- Ignoring all the psychological and emotional trauma aside, OP thinks this is acceptable because the man can provide financially and the role of mother is disposable enough to just toss in replacement nurturers like a lightbulb

Even though the woman isn't being deceived into a thinking the child isn't hers, a child who she may not be emotionally/mentally prepared to take in is being thrust upon her, the child is also a reminder of her husband's infidelities...I'm not necessarily saying it's better or worse, but is it really THAT less terrible than the man's scenario like some people are making out..?

- Woman cheats and is carrying a child that doesn't belong to her husband
- Woman doesn't tell husband and the husband is unknowingly taking care of another person's child for God knows how many years

Very traumatizing thing to experience for the husband, many will argue that it's worse because he is being deceived for...a longer period of time? And that time and money would've been spent on a child that isn't his unknowingly.

Like I said, they're both terrible scenarios, but perceiving one as less terrible doesn't necessarily mean it is 'acceptable'

I feel like a lot of psychological implications are being dismissed, that's why some people think money is enough to just take care of everything (and I won't even go into how Nigerian men aren't these complete 'sole providers' that they keep saying there are online, that's another topic sha..because what if he doesn't have 'money'?).

Money isn't enough. And my stance still remains that it is easier for a man to raise his love child outside marriage than a woman, and this is the reason a woman will pin the child on the man in the first instance.
...a man gets a woman pregnant outside marriage
...he tells his wife about it and she insist on not being a part of the babys life, neither does she wants the child in their home.
...the man gets back to his babymama and raises the child outside his home.

Let's assume the same scenario for a woman
...she gets pregnant for a man outside her marriage.
...tells her husband about it and he insist on not being a part of the babys life, neither does he want the child in their home.
...the woman gets back to the baby daddy... realistically if this happens, who is in a more favourable situation to raise a love child outside a marriage? A marriage in which the other partner doesnt want to be a part of the baby's life.
Infidelity is bad, but the result of a love child isn't same for a man and woman.
Neither of the partner should be forced into being a part of a love babys life, like you said it could be traumatizing and also lack of emotional preparedness.

Mariangeles:


Call it whatever you want, it is what it is.

Then stick to it and stop speaking for over a thousand cultures in Nigeria or hundreds of thousands in Africa.

Acidosis:

Are you asking whether I can accept a bastard and a cheating mother/wife? Are you normal @OP?

This is a very stup!d question to be honest.

very stupid question bro

Kingarthur21:
if you didn't get my post dont quote me.

Take your java enabled phone to a primary 5 year old kid and he will explain my post to you

I have never hated u.bunja,infact I call out trolls like dande55 and sexylassie2, digmygold etc when they insult him

If you can't stomach a once in a while criticism from your fellow man then that is your cup of tea.

Are you really a man though? ...you certainly don't sound like one

Acidosis:


Are you even aware that you can't hide pregnancy? Listen. A man can f**king cheat without anyone knowing. He can sleep with 50 women, get all pregnant and come back home to his wife and children like nothing happened.

A wife can't do same without the belly protruding in few months. She would need to explain herself to "our" children before discussing the issue of acceptance.

There are certain facts nature has placed upon you you need to accept. Fighting these "facts" could lead to ma.dness

very apt, you can't rationalise nature's mechanics.

sweetmelanin:



Are you really a man though? ...you certainly don't sound like one

Lmao. He's not

Jullima:

Then stick to it and stop speaking for over a thousand cultures in Nigeria or hundreds of thousands in Africa.

In the real world, things are still the same.
All these online claims does not mean or change anything.

rockstarB:

Money isn't enough. And my stance still remains that it is easier for a man to raise his love child outside marriage than a woman, and this is the reason a woman will pin the child on the man in the first instance.
...a man gets a woman pregnant outside marriage
...he tells his wife about it and she insist on not being a part of the babys life, neither does she wants the child in their home.
...the man gets back to his babymama and raises the child outside his home.

Let's assume the same scenario for a woman
...she gets pregnant for a man outside her marriage.
...tells her husband about it and he insist on not being a part of the babys life, neither does he want the child in their home.
...the woman gets back to the baby daddy... realistically if this happens, who is in a more favourable situation to raise a love child outside a marriage? A marriage in which the other partner doesnt want to be a part of the baby's life.
Infidelity is bad, but the result of a love child isn't same for a man and woman.
Neither of the partner should be forced into being a part of a love babys life, like you said it could be traumatizing and also lack of emotional preparedness.

I'm not focusing on debating which one is 'easier'

There's a difference between it being easier and 'acceptable', OP claimed that the man has the right to bring the child in just because he has money. The entitlement and double standard agenda is clear, the fact that he dismissed the importance of the role of the mother was the cherry on top

Not all baby mama's are that either
Some can't raise kids and some don't want to

rockstarB:

The difference is that the love child of a married man can be healthily raised outside of his home if his wife doesnt agree to raising and nurturing the child like you put up here. Can a woman raise her own love child outside her home if her husband doesnt agree to being a part of the childs life? Will it be easy for her to do that? Especially if the baby daddy isn't all that. Basket mouth has a love child that doesnt live with himself and his wife, they have a good marriage and the kid is doing okay with the babymama.
You need to ask yourself why its easier for women to feign paternity fraud rather than come out clean to their husbands.
I'm not saying there arent men that would raise love child of their wives tho.

Mariangeles:


In the real world, things are still the same.
All these online claims does not mean or change anything.

Yea, I agree, in the real world the definition of “bast*rd” hasn’t changed.