awwww!
She enters her jalopi and zooms off (And yes, I am happy you did not deny the fact you're an odi )
No need to be thankful for your odi-gifted traits. Just continue to uncontrollably like you've always done.

A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well" says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she wants to go to heaven a virgin but can have anal sex though. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise."Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"

A man gets home early from work and hears strange noise coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife n[i]ak[/i]ed on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he asked. "I think I'm having a heart attack" cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone for ambulance but just as he was dialing, his 4-year old son comes up to him and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Nelson is hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The man slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally n[i]ak[/i]ed, covering on the floor "You bastard!" the man shouts," my wife is having a heart attack and you're running around the house n[i]ak[/i]ed and scaring the kids!"

A man was going on a three day trip so he called his best friend and handed him a key.

Man: I am going on a trip and would be back in 3 days. Here is the key to the padlock of my wife's private part. If I don't return after 3 days, please open the padlock so she can get some air.
Friend: No problem. I would do just that.

The man got into his car and drove off. Ten minutes later, he looks at his rear mirror and saw his friend flaging him down. He pulled over to one side parked the car and got out.

Man: What is the matter?
Friend: (Panting) You gave me the wrong key

LOL sledge seen some of the new joke but nice one though

nice one

Mother: Son, I am sorry I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago and that person is your real father.
Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am I to deal with this? You should be hanged.
Mother: I am sorry he was my first and could not just marry him because we are of different religion. He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first ever.
Son: No! I am speaking to no one. Mr Alani is the only father I know and so will that be.
Mother: Please don't be so upset. Just talk to him.
Son: I will give him a piece of my mind!
Phone: Morning son. I am Mallam Aliko Dangote. I am your real father.
Son: THANK GOD. I always knew there was something special about me. Thank you mum. You are the best mother in the world!!!

Nice one sledge

funny lol

Ah!! Now I think the last joke's funny

but seen the previous 3 before

Cool, Entertaining, Funny & Crazy thread you've got here Sledge

keep 'em coming pls - remain small, Efe go become disciple of this ur thread

LOL efe desci what?

^^ disciple / follower now!

na so we see am

'ope you're having a cool weekend Bashy?

Efemena_xy:

Ah!! Now I think the last joke's funny

but seen the previous 3 before

Cool, Entertaining, Funny & Crazy thread you've got here Sledge

keep 'em coming pls - remain small, Efe go become disciple of this your thread

Wetin you dey think? If e funny, e funny jare
Ah! So you want make I go bring joke when you never see before? Wait, I dey come!
As for my follower, I rather you stand in front of me make I see your yansh dey shake. I like my female followers in front but not the flat-yanshed ones like Lysaa . Those ones go dey last in line

By the way, if you see Lysaa, tell her make she nor fex say na becos of wetin I tell her na im make her don take more than 5 days leave. I fear o!

sledge406:

Wetin you dey think? If e funny, e funny jare
Ah! So you want make I go bring joke when you never see before? Wait, I dey come!
As for my follower, I rather you stand in front of me make I see your yansh dey shake. I like my female followers in front but not the flat-yanshed ones like Lysaa . Those ones go dey last in line

By the way, if you see Lysaa, tell her make she nor fex say na becos of wetin I tell her na im make her don take more than 5 days leave. I fear o!

Now, that's really rude and I'm offended too!

You apologize else I'm not coming here again 

Wetin sef

Oya nor fex

Sowie

'tis okay

now come here:

I'll go find my sister and when I find her will pass your msg on to her

Correct

I dey wait una 2

Passingby Efe and Sledge how una dey

I'm not a Sule, you're not a juve. . .

who ask you?

I wasn't talking to you.

then you talking to yourself again?

I don't need this.

Then what do you need?

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.

After consulting the Bible, the priest says, ” My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays.”

The man thinks: ” What does a priest know about sex?” So he goes to a minister, who after all is a married man and experienced in this matter.

He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and knowledge. In other words, he goes to a rabbi. The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, ” My son, sex is definitely play.”

The man replies, “Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?”

The Rabbi softly speaks, “If sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it.”

Ha, Gud juk. I saw somebody peepn, hop its nt my flat ass sista.

It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really bad day on the day they died.

St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator, "

(Story of a lady's night out);

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed. . .3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'. . . he didn't seem pissed off in the least . . .Whew, I got away with that one!

Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times then said 'oh excreta.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

Well i did not understand the last joke

Girlfriend: I cheated
Boyfriend: So what? Did you think I love you? I have also cheated on you for the past 2 years. You are just for fun
Girlfriend: I was talking about my exams

My odi friend, i see u're basking in ur odi euphoria. . Nobody reach u o. After all, odi nor! Lol.

Lysaa dont start with the odi stuff again ooo i no fit separate fight oo