I will appreciate d house to help me out wt this situation, I had a child while I was in skool and the mother is married to her own choice because as at then we were both young, i mean not capable of handling marriage issue, Thereafter the mother of my son got another choice and got married , Now I have a date and we are so much ready for all, she is pregnant now and her family insisted that they we must do court wedding , My challenge is this 1. Why are they making court wedding compulsory ?
2. What will be the fate of my first child whose mother is not legally married?
3. Who will be my next of kin? (My wife suppose but will she grant my first child something good after my departure, cos no one knows tomorrow?)

I love her and she love me but you (married) know what am trying to figure out, after getting legal back up women can turn to be something else,

Pls let someone enlight me more about court wedding, it adv/dis,

Thanx

adoniku:

I will appreciate d house to help me out wt this situation, I had a child while I was in skool and the mother is married to her own choice because as at then we were both young, i mean not capable of handling marriage issue, Thereafter the mother of my son got another choice and got married , Now I have a date and we are so much ready for all, she is pregnant now and her family insisted that they we must do court wedding , My challenge is this 1. Why are they making court wedding compulsory ?
2. What will be the fate of my first child whose mother is not legally married?
3. Who will be my next of kin? (My wife suppose but will she grant my first child something good after my departure, cos no one knows tomorrow?)

I love her and she love me but you (married) know what am trying to figure out, after getting legal back up women can turn to be something else,

Pls let someone enlight me more about court wedding, it adv/dis,

Thanx

Insist on Pre-nup before the court marriage.Write ur will NOW.
Make provisions for ur first child in the Pre-nup,will.You can still make ur wife ur next of kin but make sure theres a solid provision for the first child.
Clearly ur wife is not foolish,don't be.

Have a trust set up. You can leave 50% to your wife and 50% split evenly amongst all your biological children.

adoniku:

I will appreciate d house to help me out wt this situation, I had a child while I was in skool and the mother is married to her own choice because as at then we were both young, i mean not capable of handling marriage issue, Thereafter the mother of my son got another choice and got married , Now I have a date and we are so much ready for all, she is pregnant now and her family insisted that they we must do court wedding , My challenge is this 1. Why are they making court wedding compulsory ?
2. What will be the fate of my first child whose mother is not legally married?
3. Who will be my next of kin? (My wife suppose but will she grant my first child something good after my departure, cos no one knows tomorrow?)

I love her and she love me but you (married) know what am trying to figure out, after getting legal back up women can turn to be something else,

Pls let someone enlight me more about court wedding, it adv/dis,

Thanx

On 1 i think they want to proctect their daughter, they think you might do what happened with the first girl and also getting married a court gives her right to whatever you have

On 2 your first child is your child with or with that court marriage the law is there to protect the child as long s/he is below 18

On 3 next of kin  is the person who is first contacted in case anything happens to you --- what you mean is person(ESTATE EXECUTOR) he will inherit your estate and distribute it according to your will or according to what the courts see as fair especially when it comes to kids below 18

a court wedding means it is registered so when you die automatically your wife becomes sole beneficiary

a court wedding means it is registered so when you die automatically your wife becomes sole beneficiary

True talk, even if u choose to Use Pre-nup, it doesn't change the above qoutes.

.

Why are they insisting on court?

Once you marry her legally, she becomes your legal wife court or no court and she will
have a full legal backing incase of any eventuality. Some churches insist that the couples get
some registration papers from the registry before they are been wedded.

I didnt wed in court but the papers we signed in church were from the Registry and some copies were returned back to them for documentation.

Even if u decide to do only traditional marriage the court/law still recognises customary marriage and she still have full legal backing in case of any thing.

adoniku:

I will appreciate d house to help me out wt this situation, I had a child while I was in skool and the mother is married to her own choice because as at then we were both young, i mean not capable of handling marriage issue, Thereafter the mother of my son got another choice and got married , Now I have a date and we are so much ready for all, she is pregnant now and her family insisted that they we must do court wedding , My challenge is this 1. Why are they making court wedding compulsory ?
2. What will be the fate of my first child whose mother is not legally married?
3. Who will be my next of kin? (My wife suppose but will she grant my first child something good after my departure, cos no one knows tomorrow?)

I love her and she love me but you (married) know what am trying to figure out, after getting legal back up women can turn to be something else,

Pls let someone enlight me more about court wedding, it adv/dis,

Thanx

So you wanted to do an illegal marriage before

abeg born ur children make u train them well instead of to dey talk this kind inheritance matter as if u even get many moni

All thesame, give ur children a viable and worthwhile education then everybody would be able to take kia of his or herself

Outstrip:

Have a trust set up. You can leave 50% to your wife and 50% split evenly amongst all your biological children.

She said I hould not let her parent know that I have a child already, that when it is time she will know how to tel them, so they are not aware of my first child, I want to marry her with all my heart but what am scare about is that my mind is telling me there is a hidden agenda somewhere which I not aware of now, abi what do u think, cos for them to be making it too compulsory meanwhile the lady is not troubling me.

.

Are you this weak? Grow some balls pal. You are marrying their daughter to me where they have a say is only in the traditional espect of the marriage. Once i do the trado part Court or church will only be by choice and nobody unless my wife will force me to do any. They can't from their house come to mine to tell me what i should do, i can't it take that from my own parents talkless of my inlaw.

Guy if it does not worry your wife u have noting to worry about but make sure you protect the interest of ur first child and make sure you can convince ur wife to take him as her's. If not the marriage will have a k-leg.

Ujujoan:

So you wanted to do an illegal marriage before

What a stupid comment.

olabukola:


What a silly comment.

Sheeesh!

@Poster

If you let that lady's parents boss you around at these early stages, you'll end up being their door mat for the rest of your natural life. You are the one marrying her, not them. If they feel their daughter is made of gold, let them put her up for exhibition at the museum.

In between, if marriage is all about "love and trust" as some people term to be, why is it important to sign a legal binding document that is tenable in the court of law? Personally, if you go ahead with this, i suggest you put forward the idea of a prenup. What's good for the goose, is good for the gander. I'm pretty sure the family will hit the ceiling with accusations of you not "loving and trusting" their daughter if you mention that but they have no qualms with their own agenda.

Marriage! ! !

***sighs***

adoniku:

I will appreciate d house to help me out wt this situation, I had a child while I was in skool and the mother is married to her own choice because as at then we were both young, i mean not capable of handling marriage issue, Thereafter the mother of my son got another choice and got married , Now I have a date and we are so much ready for all, she is pregnant now and her family insisted that they we must do court wedding , My challenge is this 1. Why are they making court wedding compulsory ?
2. What will be the fate of my first child whose mother is not legally married?
3. Who will be my next of kin? (My wife suppose but will she grant my first child something good after my departure, cos no one knows tomorrow?)

I love her and she love me but you (married) know what am trying to figure out, after getting legal back up women can turn to be something else,

Pls let someone enlight me more about court wedding, it adv/dis,

Thanx

Abegi what is all these pre-nup people keep rabbiting on about sef Who goes into a marriage thinking of what they stand to gain when they divorce, ain't marriage supposed to be embarked upon with a "grow old together forever mentality", not one with a "get out clause" mentality I blame too much overindulgent in Hollywood films


Adniku, it is clear you dearly love your son, so all you need is to go and make a will and continually update it every year and make sure the executor is someone you can trust not to shaft your child in future or succumb to the wiles of your wife.

As for the Court Marriage, you love your wife to be, so go ahead and grant her Parents wishes, you are doing it for her too, besides that is the only recognisable form of Marriage, everything else na "i gat too much money to burn, so need to impress and oppress joo Wish you marital bliss.

Dude, there is nothing wrong with court wedding. They probably want court wedding because it is the fastest and takes little to no planning. Their daughter is pregnant already, so they want her married as soon as possible. You got their daughter pregnant, so if you intend to marry her, might as well do the court wedding.

I don't think I quite get this topic at all. It was like a "huh" moment for me

Ans 1. They are making it compulsory becos they know there are many hurdles to cross (including settlement) shld u decide to go ur seperate ways.
2. The fate of the boy is in God`s hands. The mother not legally married shld not cos u any worries.
3. Your next of kin is your lawfully wedded spouse. However, draw up a will and state your wishes in it.
Just to add, try make ur son n wife be best of friends. She should not see ur son as a competitor, but rather love him like hers. Also, know where to draw the lines and put ur feet down when necessary. All the best.

.