Cherez:

Kai, Bros how can you ask how many men do house chores?
My guy this assumption is too wrong naaa, haba!
Any man who does what you said above is an animal but most Nigerian men of today help out in chores.

I didn't ask men to do chores but help but is it a crime? I have seen traditional men do chores I mean in their sixties(Yoruba,Igbo and my former Hausa Landlord) dem no many sha but it is not a sin ooo.

Zeeknow3245:

I didn't ask men to do chores but help but is it a crime? I have seen traditional men do chores I mean in their sixties(Yoruba,Igbo and my former Hausa Landlord) dem no many sha but it is not a sin ooo.

I don't think you understood what I meant.
I meant men of today do chores.

Seriously she's right. If my husband forcefully rape me, I won't persecuted him. I will dismiss it

Davash222:
But what if the woman is not in the mood for sex or tired and the husband forces himself on her by taking it by force, is it not marital rape?



Yes it's rape, we know, but going to report to police or other agencies is what I don't understand.

Imagine the scenario you walk into any Nigeria police station and you start telling the officer in charge, I was not in the mood, was weak and tired yet my husband had sex with me. The officer will first ask you, what happened to your mood?

You funny �

You don't know the meaning of rape, if you had known you wouldn't be talking out of ignorance.

Let me give a clue from Oxford dictionary;

"Rape is to force sexual intercourse or other sexual activity upon another person, without their consent or to abuse an object in an extreme manner".

BizBayo:


Funniest thing, na Dem like am pass.

, the mentality of feminism in Nigeria is twisted. Feminism means what a man can do, a woman can do as well and you try to prove it. Hating on men is not feminism, that is just immaturity.

Help me beg them o.

Cherez:

Wait oooooo!
You saying every man enjoys every session of sex they've ever had?
Wooooah!
You're wrong
See, this is the main fulcrum of this gender tussle; men don't wanna see things from women pov & vice versa
Yout assumption is wrong

Ok.

Poloyanabo2:

Thank God you agreed that it exists, am not talking about law, am talking about the existence of marital rape as a form of domestic violence.

noted

MoodyQueen:


Oh please shut up.
Who doesn't know that.

Written in law or not, it's still rape.
Laws are based on public moral standing.

Unfortunately idiots like you in higher places are refusing to see this as what it is. But don't worry it's all about what can be proven in court room.

If it protect you here, it wouldn't protect you in saner countries. Now please piss off.

Keypad Warrior, where were u when this protest happened?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/05/13/africa/nigeria-women-arrested-for-clubbing-intl/index.html
ABJ police allegedly raped girls. They need your help. I can hook u up with some of the girls. You can help in getting them a lawyer. This is a provable and winnable case.

techmo:


for some reason you had read all marital pro mises and vows and thnk nobody pledges body and soul for better for worse... childrens never pledge their body and soul with you except you are a mother who abuse your kids, marriage from time immemorial is a contract with agreement and it is bound by conjugal right, if conjugal rights aand vows/ promise aint for you please keep off marital institiution, don't violate it with victimizing claim and manipulative daughter of eve tendencies cos you would have a son and watch your son suffer same wicked standard you set because you are a feminist

your son might spend all he earn on a woman who would repel his tourch like a leper, he might deny simple upkeep to you after your labour since wife most be right and his wife doesn't like you and weaponizes sex against him to chase you out in a cold rainy day because of occasional sex

Think deeply about your Sons future sexual need as a human with blood next time you deny your husband or let the man just go and marry someone else in a clean separation

.

What a disgusting set up.
What is your son doing there? Why can’t he leave as his touch freaking repels her?
And you still say marital unions should never be dissolved? He should learn to rape instead?
Teach your son to walk away instead. Let him not become an animal, a rapist. It would be relatively easier for someone who can’t stand your touch to say, poison you. Especially when you keep forcibly touching them? I hope you know this? But no, marital rape is really orgasmic and leads to a happy, long married life

Eulalia:
SHOW ME A MAN WHO DOESN'T OR HASNT ENJOYED ANY SESSION OF SEX HE'S HAD IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE. NO NOT ONE. SO?? MEN ENJOY IT AT ANY GIVEN TIME. REASON THEY CAN GET AROUSED AT THE SIGHT OF A ONE YEAR OLD BABY GIRL AND SLEEP WITH A MAD WOMAN. FACT!
SOME MEN THOUGH, NOT ALL.

Really, how did you come about this your claim?
Infact, dont look too far. l have had sex with one or two ladies in my younger days, that l so much regreted it and felt lik el fell inside a Pit latrine
Immediately after, I bath properly with Dettol and Joy Soap, just to feel like myself again.
You need to ask 'Men', not boys who will stick their immature Pr!ck into any hole they see.
Many men, especially married men, just do it for the sake of Peace i the house because they dont want to be accused of having had sex outside hence not needing it at home again.

MoodyQueen:


I understand that.

I get the fact that conjugal rights includes right to sex and it gives you legal entitlement to sex.

BUT it doesn't mean CONSENT is irrevocable.
It doesn't nullify your spouse RIGHT to consent.

If it did, then the court can just simply enforce sexual intercourse instead of granting a divorce.

Or arrest one for denying you your right to sex.
But it doesn't happen this way.

Why because marriage isn't consent.
And by definition, sex without consent is rape.

Please understand. Thank you.

You got this one aboslutely right!
Consent is revocable and the ONLY WAY to REVOKE SEX CONSENT in a Marriage is to Divorce your Spouse.

Even mere filing for Separation and living apart is enough to show INTENT to revoke Consent and any Husband is put on notice that you are withdrawing the Consent you gave in your marriage Vow, and he would stay-off or plead with you to change your mind or tell you to eff-off with your Pussy afteral, no one is irreplaceable.

Anyway, look the discussion was good and we all made our opinions known.
Thank you and have a blessed time, going forward.

Cherez:

Bro, it hasn't come to this
I really learnt something from you here please don't spoil your wisdom with anger.
Though I still maintain that a man shouldn't force sex on his wife but seek other ways aside force to make his stand loud

My apologies ........... but no apologies to the lady who used that sentence.
I was replying to "See Salaiva everywhere, because they asked you not to rape your wife", directed at me.
How do you find such comment?
I simply replaced "Saliva" with "Farthing", ...................... "Everywhere" with "Every Orifice".

l learnt that ACTION and REACTION, are EQUAL and OPPOSITE. I will certainly be Civil with people who are Civil with me, certainly.

Back to the dicsussion, l think the problem with our different perspectives on this 'No Consent Sex in marriage', is the use of the Word "FORCE"!
Maybe instead of saying the Husband used force (since l also think it is his right to have sex with his wife or her husband), we can say he used "strong persuasion" to have sex with his wife while she objected.
Its a slightly different shade.......... something like 'I did not agree to the sex but you still went ahead to have your way with me because you are my husband/wife".

Marriage is all about putting the needs of your Spouse first.
Before l do anything, l think about my own wife and put her expected views into consideration, not because l am stupid but because l am certain she will do the same for me.
If she wants sex and l dont, l would think "How would l feel if l want sex and she refuses me"?
Then l inconvinience myself to lets have it because l dont wnt to leave my wife hanging. Its not good for the health of the marriage.
That is MARRIAGE for you! You no longer wholly own your own body and that includes when to have marital sex.
Though at times, either of us will give in to the refusal of the other spouse but it has to be with a very good convincing, not with bragadocio from the person refusing or threat of a "Rape Claim"! That will be threat and confrontation and nothing breaks a marriage than that.

Even in simple things as buying a Cloth to sew, you have to consider each other!
If l want to have a "joint wear" with my wife, let's say l want a Babanriga or Agbada and the same material has to be used to sew a gown by my wife, things like color, printed design, texture, etc have to take her choice, into consideration.
For example, as a Man, we use strong colours like Navy Blue, Black, Wine color, etc
But Women use colours like Pink, Purple, Green, yllow, etc, colours l will never wear!

Because we are a Couple and we must wear this cloth together, maybe to a family function, l will consider the interest of my wife and instead of buying what l really prefer, l will settle for colours like Silver, Sky Blue, Ash, etc. Volors 'midway' for me and her.
That is how Marriage changes your perspective, if you want both of you to marry and live together for long.[/b]

Note thet the gretest problem of Black People, especially in America and Europe, is how to keep the family together and not break it up, producing delinquent generation of children, most of who end up in the white man's jail.
[b]You Give, You Take, No one owns him or herself as an individual, anymore.

But if you really want FULL CONTROL over your own body, then you should seek a Divorce and free yourself though, there are "life-long cost" to that as well.
But to remain in the marriage and be claiming "My Body, is My Body"? E nor go work. Bro.

Cheers and stay blessed.

This babe don sha.

One4me:


My apologies ........... but no apologies to the lady who used that sentence.
I was replying to "See Salaiva everywhere, because they asked you not to rape your wife", directed at me.
How do you find such comment?
I simply replaced "Saliva" with "Farthing", ...................... "Everywhere" with "Every Orifice".

l learnt that ACTION and REACTION, are EQUAL and OPPOSITE. I will certainly be Civil with people who are Civil with me, certainly.

Back to the dicsussion, l think the problem with our different perspectives on this 'No Consent Sex in marriage', is the use of the Word "FORCE"!
Maybe instead of saying the Husband used force (since l also think it is his right to have sex with his wife or her husband), we can say he used "strong persuasion" to have sex with his wife while she objected.
Its a slightly different shade.......... something like 'I did not agree to the sex but you still went ahead to have your way with me because you are my husband/wife".

Marriage is all about putting the needs of your Spouse first.
Before l do anything, l think about my own wife and put her expected views into consideration, not because l am stupid but because l am certain she will do the same for me.
If she wants sex and l dont, l would think "How would l feel if l want sex and she refuses me"?
Then l inconvinience myself to lets have it because l dont wnt to leave my wife hanging. Its not good for the health of the marriage.
That is MARRIAGE for you! You no longer wholly own your own body and that includes when to have marital sex.
Though at times, either of us will give in to the refusal of the other spouse but it has to be with a very good convincing, not with bragadocio from the person refusing or threat of a "Rape Claim"! That will be threat and confrontation and nothing breaks a marriage than that.

Even in simple things as buying a Cloth to sew, you have to consider each other!
If l want to have a "joint wear" with my wife, let's say l want a Babanriga or Agbada and the same material has to be used to sew a gown by my wife, things like color, printed design, texture, etc have to take her choice, into consideration.
For example, as a Man, we use strong colours like Navy Blue, Black, Wine color, etc
But Women use colours like Pink, Purple, Green, yllow, etc, colours l will never wear!

Because we are a Couple and we must wear this cloth together, maybe to a family function, l will consider the interest of my wife and instead of buying what l really prefer, l will settle for colours like Silver, Sky Blue, Ash, etc. Volors 'midway' for me and her.
That is how Marriage changes your perspective, if you want both of you to marry and live together for long.[/b]

Note thet the gretest problem of Black People, especially in America and Europe, is how to keep the family together and not break it up, producing delinquent generation of children, most of who end up in the white man's jail.
[b]You Give, You Take, No one owns him or herself as an individual, anymore.

But if you really want FULL CONTROL over your own body, then you should seek a Divorce and free yourself though, there are "life-long cost" to that as well.
But to remain in the marriage and be claiming "My Body, is My Body"? E nor go work. Bro.

Cheers and stay blessed.

You're � correct

One4me:
You see, the FOOLS here are those Feminnist who have their own agenda and the few spineless and thoughtless Men who follow them just to validate themselevs and get rid of their inferiorrity complex, as a Men.

RAPE is a Crime but every Crime has DEFINITION and BOUNDARIES.
For example, as bad as Stealing or Robbery is, there is a clear boundary and definition!

- If you steal, (Take what does not belong to you) you would end up in jail ............That is the DEFINITION of Stealing
- If you are dying from Hunger and you steal food say from a Store, just what yo need to eat to survive, in most 'sane places', you are warned and then assisted with more food to eat and survive[/b].
You are not sent to Jail, like someone who went to a Store and Stole Jewelry! [b]That is BOUNDARY.

Women generally see Rape Charges as a WEAPON against Men because PUBLIC Rape allegations are against Men, (even though we know that Women also Rape men but as man, all the society would do is ask you if you did not enjoy the rape or did you not have a hard on ).
So, Feminists are hell-bent on ensuring that there is NO BOUDARY to this rape of a thing so that they can have the Flexibility to use it to punish men.......extending it into the institutionof marriage is a a coup, for them.

I dont care too much about the level of punishment that is given out to Rapist, as long as it is a GUILTY PERSON that is being punished and ot some innocent Man roped into a rape allegation. Burn a Rapist, Slaughter the person like Boko Haram, Castrate them, bury them alive, l am happy with all those punishment but just dont do them to an innocent Man.
It has to be PROVEN BEYOND DOUBT, which is the legal standard for all Criminal Convictions and Crimes that carry Capital Punishment.

So, let me touch on the marriage angle.
A marriage is a Union between two individual adults who CONSCIOUSLY and WILLINGLY decide to come together to LIVE TOGETHER, under SAME ROOF, as HUSBAND and WIFE.
In doing so, they have decided to EXCHANGE their INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS for 'JOINT RIGHTS'.
For example, instead of filing INDIVIDUAL TAX at say 41%, they JOINTLY TAX them at a cheaper 21%! That is one of the ADVANTAGES of being in a marriage.

-In doing so (being married), they have decided BY MAKING A VOW before GOD (CHURCH/MOSQUE/TRADITIONAL or whatever religion) and MAN (REGISTRY/LAW COURT) that:
* TWO have become ONE.
*MY BODY is no longer just my BODY but YOUR BODY
*YOUR BODY is no longer just YOUR BODY but MY BODY
* IN LIFE and DEATH
*Till DEATH DO US APART!

These are VOWS BINDING on both partys because you SWORE to them.
So, whatever is from your body, including Sexual Parts, BELONG TO YOUR SPOUSE. FINITO!
By Right, a Wife has the authority to DEMAND and GET SEX from her Husband and by the same token, a Husband has the authority to DEMAND and GET SEX from his WIFE ebacuse each persons body belongs to the other, as indicated by THE VOW they took under GOD and MAN.

Your Body is no longer yours, if you decide to get married, but belongs to YOUR SPOUSE.
Some people dont like this and they have decided they wont get married, which is fine.
Even the Property of your Husband (something women have openly fought for!) belongs to you when he dies, irrespective whether he was the one who paid for such property out of his personal sweat/money...and not his family, because the Husband and WIfe has become just one Body.
Women insist on sharing the property of their Husband INTO HALF when the marriage breaks up, relying on the same concept of marriage where everything BELONGS TO ONE ANOTHER (they never say 'it is his property, he can go with it).

So, whenit comes to his J.T or her Kpekus, it belongs to the Other and he is AUTHORISED BY VOWS OF MARRIAGE, to demand and use it as he/she deems fit.
YOU CANNOT SUE YOUR HUSBAND FOR RAPE BECAUSE HE DEMANDED AND TOOK SEX WITH YOU, EVEN IF YOU DONT FEEL LIKE HAVING SEX THAT DAY. IT BELONGED TO HIM AND HE TOOK WHAT BELONGED TO HIM.
If you dont like that arrangement, please BY ALL MEANS, DONT GET MARRIED! THAT DECISON IS ODNE ON FREEWILL AND YOU CAN REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN SUCH 'STUPID' VOWS/ARRANGEMENT.
BUT YOU CANT EAT YOUR CAKE AND STILL WANT TO HAVE IT.

Now, to the ISSUE of where one of the PARTNERS in a MARRIAGE, for genuine reasons (as opposed to trying to use sex as a weapon of blackmail or entrapment in a marriage), cannot engage is sex with their LAWFUL SEX PARTNER, it calls for for ENGAGEMENT, DISCUSSION and UNDERSTANDING!

ENGAGEMENT - You cannot just say "No is No", to your Spouse, just like you cant say 'No" to the owner of a Car, for whatever reason, when he or she wants to drive it. You will have to engage in a discussion with them.

DISCUSSION: As the owner of your body, including the sexual part of it, (you are just the physical custodian of it), you must have an OPEN, CANDID, CONVINCING and HONEST discussion with "the owner" as to why you want them to deny themselves of the use of what belongs to them.
It is not only Men/Husband that demand for Sex in a marriage and the Wife is unwilling/unable to give it.
Many Wives also demand for Sex when the Husband is DOG-TIRED, unwilling to give it, does not consent to it but the Wives still insist on having it.and still have their way, anyway

We have heard stories of women who 'assualt' their Husband because he would not get a hard-on, when they demand to have sex!
Its not strange! if you are not married, you may not know what goes on in a marriage.
Some Wives would Climb the Husband forcefully , suck his JT, roll it around it until it begins to respond and gets hard and they will climb him like Okada and have their way, no matter his protestations (dont think just because a Husband has a hard-on, he must be enjoying the sex, NO!
He is just participating in the act with his physical body because IT BELONGS TO HIS WIFE who is using what belongs to her.
But Husbands dont shout Rape on such things because they know the person involves is the owner of the J.T...their wives!
I wonder what will be the reaction of Women, if such act is termed as Rape and all a man needs to do, to send his wife to the gallows, castration or death penalty is to say:"My Wife climed me yesterday night against my Will" and that is it!
His word is enough and she is killed? Nice uhh?

So, both spouses are expected to have this honest and candid DISCUSSION about how they feel, why they dont want to have sex at that moment, why they want to deny the owner his conjugal RIGHTS, in the most convincing manner such that the owner can say, okay, l will not drive my car today but will walk to work or take public transport! I will make this sacrifice, this time.

But we all know how ((most) women see and use sex in a marriage!
It is seen a s a reward for doing something they want or as bait to do what they want or a trap to snag the Husband.

Yet the same Husband would be accused of infidelity, if he decide to get his sexual satisfaction outside.
Let us be honest, one of the reasons for putting one's self in that thing called marriage, whether yo uare male or Female, is because you dont want to have sex with any other person or strangers, you want exclusive sex with your spouse.
Sex is part of adult life, it is a necessity of married life.

UNDERSTANDING:
Marriages should be governed by love, not threats, Violence or Conflicts. Where there is conflict, the "approach" should be CONFLICT RESOLUTION, MOT CRIMINALISATION.
If your Spouse is genuinely unable to give you what belongs to you (having sex with him or her) at that moment, as long as it does not become "a pattern of behaviour" OR BEING USED AS BLACKMAIL/PUNISHMENT", it is expected that such Spouse should show UNDERSTANDING.
The key element here is that you are convinced that your spouse is not just acting-up or trying to bait you or punish you or entrap you.
The convincing is to be done by the spouse that is doing the denial and the onus falls on such partner to convince the other spouse to the point of understanding.
If you love your spouse, you would understand that one night of denial of sex will not kill you, "Tomorrow" is always there.
As a married man, my wife at some time, had an Operation and we could not have sex for five good Months! Even when she was 'pitying me' and says 'honey come and try it gently', l will say 'Dont worry dear, let we still wait, your health is more important tome than this sex, when you are okay, we will make up for it (And l never strayed to another woman).
I could do that because l knew that 'the body l was protecting, belongs to me' and sensible people will normally protect their own body!

Where issues arise in when the spouse makes it a pattern of regular denial and the other spouse feels his/her right is been denied.
Under such situation, the Spouse has the RIGHT to take what belongs to her or him. You MUST surrender his/her body to him/her for sexual pleasure.
Its not your body because "Two have become ONE". In Health and even in Sickness! That is what the Vows you took says, right?

So, dont take that Vow, if you are the "My Body, My decision" type!
You have FULL RIGHT over your body and yoru DECISION of what to do with it.
Dont WILLINGLY throw away that RIGHT to use your body as you desire and decide, just for marriage or the benefits of marriage.
marriage is a SERIOUS CONTRACT and it is enforceable in Court as we all know.

What we must NOT ALLOW to happen is Women taking advantage of Marriage while at the same time, trying to not fulfill their Role in the marriage, according tio the Vows they took.
Nobody has the RIGHT over another's body (Woman or Man), until they WILLINGLY and CONCIOSLY GIVE UP that RIGHT by entering into a Marriage Contract.
Marriage has a lot of benefits as we all know but it also has a few SURRENDER OF RIGHTS, most important is the Right over my Body.
There is NOTHING LIKE RAPE IN A MARRIAGE, going by the DEFINITION and BOUNDARIES of Rape[/b].

"Feminist and Angry Wives" want to use Rape to cow Husbands (Men is general) and hang it as a threat on their neck in the Marriage but l am also certain that [b]they will not want it coded in law that once your Husband says "he did not consent to the sex you had last night, you the Wife is guilty of Rape and should be sentenced to death, castrated or buried alive.
If they allow such coding for Husbands as well, in the law, then we are good to go!
Source the Geese, Source the Gander.

Common Sense is not Common.

Na man you be and your experience and knowledge no be child play.

Kizzygentle:
Rape is rape. And the definition remains the same be it Marital or not. If she is not in the mood let her be. If taken by force it is RAPE.. Married or not it is RAPE and there should be a penalty for it.

U not learned enough to know that isn't anything like marital rape, it just isn't supported in the nigerian constitution, & even the Bible!