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Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Nobody: 6:50am On Jun 27, 2020
Funkyswagzz:


I'm having a hard time reading ur post buh I understand ur point. Tbh I think he is scared of loosing u. U really need to seat him down and ask him important questions. For instance what does he really want from u. Does he think both of u are compatible enough. Just try get words out of him and know his mindset towards u. U have to take control of the situation and make him understand that u are tired of what is happening and he might loose u if he continues in that manner.

You must be really dumb then. What's so hard about this post that you can't understand?
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by kambili999(f): 6:50am On Jun 27, 2020
Alwaysachick:



Even when its obvious he is being in considerate. What happened today? He told me to go change my laptop battery today. He wanted me to leave my house by 4pm to Ikeja. My house to Ikeja is like 2hrs journey. I tried to pacify him that I will go first thing in the morning but he insisted and started bringing up other talks.
na wa o. he didnt even consider your own safety. ike gwuru

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by MrD2: 6:55am On Jun 27, 2020
My Dear, I will advise, you do not go further in this relationship.

It will most likely be worse when you get married, and you may look like a slave in your own home.

My 2 cents
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Ramos16(m): 6:56am On Jun 27, 2020
sacajawea:
One Woman wants to Change the Status Quo, that's Good.
Nigerian women, lol they have terrible taste in men, do they have many options too? Not at all
So stop asking them? All their men are Low Quality

They want to change the status quo? please tell me where you can find a different set of women that tolerate our make stupidity and entitled mentality
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Prenonjebose: 6:57am On Jun 27, 2020
If you can't cope, then you can't cope. Forget changing him. He can't be changed. Such men marry quiet, docile women. I have a brother like that married to a very quiet lady, and they are good

5 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Nobody: 6:57am On Jun 27, 2020
You don't have to be overbearing to be a real man.

I usually let my girls do as they like.
Whatever shit you do is none of my business but on the rare occasions I put my foot down, it is always very decisive.



Too much of everything is bad!


ethicallyright:
He is not an "overbearing" male. He is a man.

Any creature who isn't female and can't dominate female folks is a simp.

One is either a man or a simp. Your man is the former.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Focusmind: 6:57am On Jun 27, 2020
Please don't take this issue likely. If he is behaving this way at the time he is relatively comfortable, no issues yet, how is he going to behave when things becomes difficult, marriage issues crops in, depression sets in?

Sister, this kind of character is dangerous I must tell you. Check if you could absorb all shocks. Imagine insisting on you going to Ikeja at that hour and stress and didn't care about your opinion.

Sometimes my wife offers her opinion that I knew may be worthless but I still listened and accepted them as if they are top notch just to make her happy and open her up to contribute to issues and say her mind in discussions.

With him, I see your freedom being hijacked and you will constantly nag him that it may result in physical assault.

Don't defend any of his bad character. When people are in love, they tend to overlook certain short comings of their partners.

Know if this trait is something you could tolerate. But please note that type of character is not healthy in marriage.
Watch please before you commit. The institution of marriage is under constant attack these days.

3 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by DaInferno(m): 6:59am On Jun 27, 2020
ethicallyright:
He is not an "overbearing" male. He is a man.

Any creature who isn't female and can't dominate female folks is a simp.

One is either a man or a simp. Your man is the former.
hear reason abeg ... she said the man does it to a fault! men should be understanding as well when women give reasons
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by gerrisson(m): 6:59am On Jun 27, 2020
"Marriage is too long to make a mistake."
Some traits are too severe to tolerate. If you are finding difficult enduring him now, imagine doing that for 40yrs.

Quit, you will meet someone else.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Btruth: 7:00am On Jun 27, 2020
Alwaysachick:


Not really, but he always wants me to do as he says. Even when he wants me to come over and I give a reason why I can't come, he gets pissed like I'm disobedient.
that's a very bad attitude. I think you better pray very well before starting the journey fully. The Lord will show you the best decision to take in Jesus name.

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Nobody: 7:01am On Jun 27, 2020
Alwaysachick:
Good evening ladies in the house,

I have a friend he is every good thing but overbearing. He kept that part till we started dating. I don't have issues with a man wanting to be a man but when he does it to the extent your opinions don't count again and if you do otherwise even when you are right, it gets him angry. Shouldn't it be a thing of concern?

I've been feeding his ego but I think its getting out of hand. The relationship is getting serious but my fears have started building and im beginning to ask myself if I can cope??

Please help a sister, what can I do to stop this? Married women in the house with husbands with such traits how do you cope?

Should have have learnt from my parents but my father is the exact opposite and with my observations, his dad is also overbearing his sisters at always complaining.

Simple test: if you are the one always apologizing to him, quit the relationship. You will endure it till you are worn out. And your parents will keep telling you to endure him. He will nail you to a corner for the rest of your life. Just sit him down and be deliberately stubborn unnecessarily in some areas. Do it deliberately and see if he will compromise or beg you. Try to touch things that are vital to him and see if he doesn't go wild. Check his temperament well. Just be unnecessarily stubborn now. He will call you names at first. He will be bossy but dont shift your position. He will call people and may report you. Just do not shift. If the man shifts, you have got his code, and you can address your concerns. But if he doesn't shift or even try to negotiate or plead to know why you have changed now, release yourself. It will be painful, but let him go. You must get 80% of what you demand. Just be deliberately stubborn and lay your rules that no one is going to be overbearing in the marriage. Set the rules down. Write them on paper and let him see them clearly. A man who is stony hearted will drain you. It is after you start having children you will feel the real impact. When your mates are glowing and you are crying in silence. Madam, you may even turn to an adulterer later cos you may want to find comfort outside your marriage.

It is not your fault you have found love in him. My advice is that you try your best to push love aside now. Please do. You want to address the real foundation of your happiness with him. Else, you may be unhappy for the rest of your life..

If my own daughter is in this position honestly, that man will sign a prenup. I swear. Cos I will not tell my daughter to marry anyone or not to. I will just make sure I protect her.

My opinion is that the two people become one after marriage. No secret, no overbearing no madness, etc.

God bless.

3 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by princessyere1(f): 7:03am On Jun 27, 2020
Alwaysachick:


If i keep pacifying him and he has no control again, won't it lead to physical or public abuse one day? What If he raises his voice at me in public one day?
You no wise.
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by harryllord4452: 7:04am On Jun 27, 2020
Am coming home..tell my mother am home
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by joyfullyjoyous(f): 7:05am On Jun 27, 2020
This is why courtship is most important. During courtship you should discover certain things about him you can't cope with. If u try to make him see reason why he has to stop n he changes ,fine but if he doesn't then you may stop the relationship. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed. But sometimes ladies get blamed by love forgetting marriage is an everlasting thing and when being joined together the pastor tells you for better for worse... . Fine prayer helps but then God helps those who help themselves.
I believe strongly there are some men who shouldn't stay in same house with their wives else the marriage will crumble as they can't ever change. Perhaps some are just designed that way.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by DaInferno(m): 7:06am On Jun 27, 2020
the thing is when you try to even correct people like this, they become norm, looking at you angrily and having you instantly-yet not wanting you to go because they know that deep down, nobody can stand them like you do
I speak this way because I've come across it,*I am a man" too full him head. the best way to table this to an extent is not to be too clingy and firm in making him see reasons why he should control his ego... because if you keep feeding it, you won't be able to control it especially when you are married, because he will take it that he owns you entirely now. am sure he is not the first one to apologise when things go wrong

key is stop what u can stop now, cus in marriage, u will just have to get used to it

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by dominique(f): 7:06am On Jun 27, 2020
ethicallyright:
[s]He is not an "overbearing" male. He is a man.

Any creature who isn't female and can't dominate female folks is a simp.

One is either a man or a simp. Your man is the former.[/s]

Trash!
Any man who can't respect his partner is NOT a man

5 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Lastmankc(m): 7:10am On Jun 27, 2020
ethicallyright:
He is not an "overbearing" male. He is a man.

Any creature who isn't female and can't dominate female folks is a simp.

One is either a man or a simp. Your man is the former.

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by persius555(m): 7:11am On Jun 27, 2020
Op, it's like culture shock. It's new to you because you have always known that other character.
Your dad wasn't domineering but your man is the oppositeof your dad.

Live with it if u can. This character has destroyed men that I know. Some have made success of this character and attribute.

See if u can shape him. If u succeed, then he's probably your man.
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by mamaafrik(m): 7:11am On Jun 27, 2020
I have a cousin who is and a father like this and i'm most likely one myself ,the only way out is if he loves you more than you Love him and you are ready to be a soldier obeying the last orders.
Though,it is a advantage if the guy is a guy with great reasoning and understanding.

He is blunt,goal -getting and was most like raised by a man of discipline,a first son with many kid sisters.

Talk to him,take him through real live situation like doing Business together ,him taking you Tutorials to really understand him proper.
But if you love him more than 65℅ and he with 35℅,he might be a wife beater and physically abusive.
Most men like such will want you to be a full house wife .

Watch the way he treat his sisters,mum and female workmates and Judge how the marriage will be.

3 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by tolukem(f): 7:12am On Jun 27, 2020
My dear, if your boy friend is over bearing now, trust me, he would be unbearable in marriage. Your inner alarm system is ringing now, my dear pay attention to it.

2 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Doyou2019: 7:14am On Jun 27, 2020
Alwaysachick:


Not really, but he always wants me to do as he says. Even when he wants me to come over and I give a reason why I can't come, he gets pissed like I'm disobedient.
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Doyou2019: 7:14am On Jun 27, 2020
Alwaysachick:


Not really, but he always wants me to do as he says. Even when he wants me to come over and I give a reason why I can't come, he gets pissed like I'm disobedient.
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by coolakins(m): 7:15am On Jun 27, 2020
This truth is that no single man or woman will be 100% desirous without any inadequacy. Just settle one you can cope with. I repeat "cope with" and live your family life to the best. I wish you luck...!

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by MPESA(m): 7:15am On Jun 27, 2020
ethicallyright:


Has he raised his hands on you before?

If he hasn't , he won't. Bleep the hell outta that man.


Stop this rubbish you are talking....

1 Like

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by BlueAir: 7:16am On Jun 27, 2020
sad U should never have brought ur relationship problems for peoples solutions or advice.its very bad.i know what I'm saying.ive read alot of comments here and they are typical of why u are doing what is wrong. Just go back and decide what to do about a man who doesn't value ur opinion or isn't liberal.nobody knows or can understand u pass u .
Alwaysachick:


I'm a very sensible person and appreciate his care for me, but how do I deal with someone who doesn't want you to contest his opinions even when they are harsh or wrong.

Ain't doing zodiacs again sorry, lol
Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by trilobite: 7:16am On Jun 27, 2020
Majority of Nigerian men like feeling in control or dominant in their relationships.

What you need to learn is how to dominate them from the shadows without being obvious. That's how some of our mothers did it.

Publicly he is the boss and chief of his kingdom, but at home YOU are the Queen that he worships. It takes wisdom to achieve this feat.

You need to speak to an elderly woman who is in such a scenario to teach you.

4 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by Nobody: 7:20am On Jun 27, 2020
ethicallyright:
He is not an "overbearing" male. He is a man.

Any creature who isn't female and can't dominate female folks is a simp.

One is either a man or a simp. Your man is the former.

being a man does not mean you should not use your brain.

being inconsiderate does not make you a man.

wanting to have your way even when wrong is foolishness

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by mkoabiola: 7:20am On Jun 27, 2020
Juliusmomoh:

Who tell u , no be the girl only de talk .. U don ear the man story
God bless you bro.

All these babes of nowadays wants a slowpoke so they can finetune to thier sholves .

A man wants you to go change ur own laptop battery at Ikeja and u stil call him *overbearing*

If he slow to reaction ..u call him slowpoke or mumu.

Now u see a man that act accordingly.. U call him over bearing.

Her eyes go clear

3 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by jornwhite: 7:20am On Jun 27, 2020
victorian:
Better free yourself. You guys are not married yet and you are getting all. Worked up over a bf who is overbearing.

Newsflash, there are good guys out there who are easygoing about life and their relationship.

Cut off from him and give yourself Correct breathing space.

He's not the end of the world.

Just free yourself jare.


Considering the fact that you're yet to marry, i concern your advice "da bii mo se da" in english "be as i be" ..
the only foul she sees in this guy is overbearing, humans are never to be perfect, the may concern is it LIFE THREATREN, if its not she can stand her ground and let the man umderstand what she wants, what a mature lady will do is place the man in a position he either change 4 good or exit.
Gud men with one foul are rare, victorian for how long were you single, was it easy finding the man you now claim 2 have .. how as it been so far is he 100% or perfect

2 Likes

Re: Ladies How Do You Cope With An Overbearing Man??? by butterfly777(m): 7:21am On Jun 27, 2020
zyzxx:
Communication is always the key

Sit him down and talk about it

He might say no to things you say due to your presentations or so

commucate first then check if you can cope or not

Leave that thing.

It is not everything in a relationship that you can discuss, expecting a change. In some cases, you just make your observations and decide. An issue like this is a character issue. People rarely change.

Op, you are lucky to see the handwriting now that you are not yet married, and you don't know what is still coming. So if you can't cope with that trait in a man, quit now before you tie the knot.

It is okay to break a courtship, but not marriage.

1 Like

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