Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Temhellen(f): 3:57am On Jun 29, 2020 |
AreaFada2:
At times it's not about compatibility.
People can be compatible when dating and make effort to satisfy bf/gf. But that change when they become "shairman/shairwoman" after wedding.
Childbirth can also change the dynamics. Lots of women shift attention to the baby or kids. Even men do it. All the spontaneous "things" of before disappear. People's libido might just reduce over time.
Let's also face it, people do fall out of love. Marriage is no panacea to being in love perpetually.
In many cases, love was never really there but marriage was done to tick one of the "must do" boxes of life. The initial excitement might initially keeps sex going but later wears off.
The biggest obstacle is a partner not knowing or accepting that something is wrong. That way seeking professional therapy becomes difficult.
We are Africans trying to live as Europeans. No polygamy, no elders stepping in to advise, etc. Your pastor is now more trusted to intervene because he says God anointed him. Often without the expertise or understanding of social or cultural background of the couple.
It's a time of flux for Africans. Challenging days are ahead in virtually all facets of life. In this 21st century, any couple wey Dey involve their pastors for their matter no get sense at all. Like say dem men of God no Dey have fun tooo |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by victme1(m): 3:59am On Jun 29, 2020 |
Where are the Married women in the House? This is a very painful subject. I expect answers like We are no longer excited with hubby after child birth We are afraid if getting preggy again Our husbands dressing does not stimulate us anymore We see our husband as our brother or father, so it kills the sex drive. What is the problem?
U guys treat us like we have leprosy
If not for fear of being tagged irresponsible husband and also fear of broken home for our children, we could have take a walk.
Why will women force their hubby to the arms of side chick. Most men will not have looked elsewhere but remain loyal if you can feed his sex desire. All those side chicks oloshos are eating into the family finances.
Why do sugar mummies abound? Yet play fridge with hubby?
If you say we men are no longer exciting, what about you? You have grown fat, always tying wrapper around your chest, always carrying a urine smelly and other odours VJ about, and you want us to go down on you! Is that exiting? Yet we still come for you bc you are our own, but here you are given excuses!
Now my summations is that IT IS A DELIBRATE ACT to what end .... Unless you women tell us.
Is it revenge??
Married Women speak out!!! 4 Likes |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Temhellen(f): 4:00am On Jun 29, 2020 |
femmoy:
i suggest u check my sigi u little fool. You better focus more on ur education and pray for understanding cos it seems u are so daft to comprehend my write up. Blood of Jesus |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Temhellen(f): 4:03am On Jun 29, 2020 |
bigcasava1: I disagree with you. Religion did not support sex deprivation infact the Bible warned couple not to deny their body to each other. Beeni |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Nobody: 4:04am On Jun 29, 2020 |
Temhellen:
Not all sugar mummies have sex with their so called bfsss everyday, moreso they don’t even last in bed. Some sugar mummy have bfsss cos of peer group competition. They want to show off. Do u think they have sex every non n then with those guys? It’s a big lie . Plus most of them, their husbands r no more or divorced. so they will pay lots of money for what?..just to show off the guy? ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) .women also have desire to have sex just like men so all this arguement of saying a married woman's libido goes down when she starts having kids is certainly not true.If it were true we wont be hearing stories of married women who were caught in hotels having sex with their ex or married women doing hookups on social media or the older ones hiring sugar boys to satisfy them.if the libido of married women were low then adultry would only be commited by married men but then adultry is both commited by married men and women.some women dislike having sex with their husbands..they prefer doing it with their boyfriends or boyfriend cos they more sexually attracted to their boyfriend.It could be their husband"s big belly puts them off or maybe his body odour or they just detest their husbands.they only get turned on when doing it with their boyfriends cos maybe he alone knows how to set her off. 3 Likes |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Nobody: 4:07am On Jun 29, 2020 |
shebcylov: let me brief my story . During courtship by wife practically run from her place to meet me for sex even after trying my best sometimes she still demand for more . now we are 6 yr into the marriage . Now this how it goes now . In the morning . Babe how far let's have one round Babe: Haa ! its too early I have to quickly start working I have a lot to do In the afternoon: Babe what's up now let's enjoy our self Babe : Haa in this hot afternoon moreover it's too bright let's leave it till later. At night : Babe touching and spooshing Babe : Haa ! am seriously tired pls pls pls let's leave it for another day That's how I practically been leave for the past 6 yes . Except I deadly insist may be once on 2 weeks or a month though am not the type that like sex that much The good part . Am a believer a born again . U know what that mean ....u endure even when the thing dey burn u for under. Lollll. good night get a side chick even your pastor that is more holy than u i can bet u he has side chicks by the side ![cheesy](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cheesy.png) u can start dating one single fine sister in your church or even one of the female choir members..i dont think this will be a problem for you..if u get small money and u handsome join then dem go fall. 2 Likes |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Gee64: 4:12am On Jun 29, 2020 |
Sex is important in marriage. Get it at least twice a month. Some women though are frigid. The reason why some men date other women outside marriage. |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by PEREZPERECTUS: 4:19am On Jun 29, 2020 |
Funkyswagzz: Look b4 u leap my friend before u say I made a mistake getting married to her.. there are loads of women out there who are willing to give u sex anytime any day as far u keep her happy. Don't mind that guy he is the one who put himself in that mess. . .......And you feel it's possible to ALWAYS keep a WOMAN happy. |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Nobody: 4:29am On Jun 29, 2020 |
Emmanuelcann: Sex as a weapon and bargaining chip, it's inevitable! Do you expect that things will always be smooth and rosy in a marriage? No? So do you expect that a woman will be happy to engage in love making with a husband who has offended her one way or another? Marriage for a man is a time to learn that you can't always have what you want - unless you are a polygamist. Learn self control! very stupid statement... in fact, otu nne gi there |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Stubborn82: 4:35am On Jun 29, 2020 |
Ok |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by otipoju(m): 4:36am On Jun 29, 2020 |
lefulefu: 99 percent of women who deprive their husbands of sex are actually having active sex with other men.its because of the guilty concience they refuse having sex with their husbands This is a fresh perspective. " Guilt ". Hmmm. Sounds very plausible. |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by InvertedHammer: 4:44am On Jun 29, 2020 |
/ I don't think there exists a happy woman in this world. They may seem happy but don't make the mistake of sitting them down to talk. You the listener will need counseling thereafter.
/ 3 Likes |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by otipoju(m): 4:45am On Jun 29, 2020 |
awumen: there was 100% compatibility during courtship intact in most cases she will initiate it, so the question is what went wrong now that marriage is here, no more initiating it, u initiate,palava.its hurting honestly and I understand it's over 70% of the married women. So what happened, where did that drive vanish to? Even when you are doing well,not cheating, no lack of any kind, you are caring, you listen, you ate at home, yearly vacation(imagiming being deny sex during vacation,just imagine), the same vacation she planned and dreamt of o, everywhere stew but yet this thing still happens. So I ask, what do omen really want,is it just having their kids, is that all?what happen to the man after the kids have arrive? I am thinking that the fact that they now have you for life makes you less interesting...more like the thrill and excitement is gone. But if they notice other women trying to take over, then they sit up. So if you are the responsible kind of husband who does everything right... you are no longer attractive. 1 Like |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Roon9(m): 4:49am On Jun 29, 2020 |
4ckz: I will really need the input of married men and women on this thread.
So yesterday at the bar, you know, ashawo bar, I sat in the same table with a married man, looked early 40's to me. He got drunk and got all chit chat with me.
He told me that he actually picked up ashawo life style after marriage, told me his wife always used sex as a bargaining chip early in their marriage, and often looked for the slightest reason not to have sex.
He said his first time cheating was after his first child, that his wife refused his touch for more than 3 months, he got to cheat with one of his colleagues at work (lest I forget, the man is well learned and rich too, I could get this from his fluency in English and his car).
The affair almost cost him his marriage. When mata cast, everyone blamed him, but he couldn't tell them how his wife deprived him of sex. He was later forgiven by the wife and the marriage continued.
According to him, before long the wife went back to her style of sexual deprivation, was only active when they wanted children. He did mention that he doesn't think the wife cheated, he has monitored her, and as far as he could tell, the wife was an always at home type of woman, and according to him was a good woman apart from the sex thing.
Before long he went back to cheating again, and that was when he started ashawo life style, he choose not to have a relationship with anyone again because of the threat it posed to his marriage.
He said he is sure his wife knows of his ashawo life style, but never talked about it for the sake of peace, and he has been living like that for more than 10 yrs, and their sex life though not dead comes once in a while, few times in a year.
He advised me that if I should cheat, that I should never keep a relationship with anyone, that I should try as much as possible to make it just about sex. Me that's planning to never cheat on my wife.
So married men, do your wives ever keep you for months without sex?
Also do husbands deprive their wives of sex?
I don't think I can even bear 1 month without, like, I must be lashing my wife like thrice a week to say the least. I am much more scared that since my life is like this now, maybe cheating would be inevitable for me.
So married people, how do you deal with sexual deprivation from your spouse, and is it even possible not to cheat?
What of the health threat to your spouse that comes with it? My wedding is Saturday. All these kind stories scares me |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Roon9(m): 4:57am On Jun 29, 2020 |
phemmyfour: polygamy doesn't cure cheating. Men with many wives do cheat as well. There is this pleasure they derive in eating what does not belong to them Facts |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by OsuIgboIpob: 5:04am On Jun 29, 2020 |
humilitypays: I commot cap for men who still have active sex life with their wife after 5 - 10 years of marriage because me that I know will quit having sex after 3 years of marriage.
It is boring having sex with the same woman every week or every month for 3 years, 4 yrs, 5yrs, 10yrs, 20yrs, haba na......you will start seeing her like your sister self after 5 years of marriage, only the kids will be the bond, so I praise men who are still having active sex life with their wife of 5 years after several kids, such men are hero, and this is one thing that makes sex scary.
I wouldn't mind open marriage after 5 years of marriage.....she can get a guy she likes to service her sexually, I won't complain cos I won't be able to fulfill that duty as a husband after 5 years with kids, my sexual interest in her will die even if she be Kim Kardashian or Beyonce ![cry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cry.gif)
Keeping active sex life in marriage is scary! Keep fooling yourself... You'll understand better when you grow up... 3 Likes |
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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by shugabasbn: 5:19am On Jun 29, 2020 |
4ckz:
Some people had this mindset, got married yet faced the same problem. Don't you know that most women do not deprive their guys of sex during courtship, yet the same women change after marriage. Most after given birth especially first child 1 Like |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by OsuIgboIpob: 5:20am On Jun 29, 2020 |
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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Fhowe: 5:21am On Jun 29, 2020 |
goldensoul55: Cheap excuse to cheat .
He should keep making excused untill he gets infected with HIV/AIDS in you said it all ,even if his wife gives him sex everyday he will never change . I really pity the wife , some men never want to grow up . My advice for women out there try as much as possible to know and understand the lifestyle of the man you want to end up with it will save you a lot of stress. I know of a lady that forced a guy into starting a family even though they are not married (the guy is very well to do) but the man on the other hand is the flexing type that never wants to get old .Some people will never change they will only keep making excuses for their shortcomings 1 Like |
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Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by shugabasbn: 5:25am On Jun 29, 2020 |
lefulefu: 99 percent of women who deprive their husbands of sex are actually having active sex with other men.its because of the guilty concience they refuse having sex with their husbands Some are into extra satisfaction by using dildos n others n to some it is due to background medical conditions, few due to psychological problem. They won't cheat, won't go into masturbation or any form to f self service but just lost complete sexual desire. |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by orieofokas: 5:29am On Jun 29, 2020 |
in fact am short of words |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by olujosh301(m): 5:32am On Jun 29, 2020 |
annsrealms:
There are so many things men don't put into consideration. Sex for men is different for woman. A man can easily be aroused for anything, anytime and anywhere. Sex for women involves emotion excepts prostitutes who money is their motivations. MArriage comes with challenges that weigh women down. Find ways to make your wife always look forward to making love instead of rushing in and out, cos it becomes burden. Marry a seemly perfect hot side chick, if you don't do things right you will have same complain.
Another thing us child birth and pregnancy usually have effect on some women which if you understand, you will work it out together. The summary of what you're saying is that as long as a woman is happy in the marriage things would go smoothly Once a man slacks in one area or the other things start going south and it shouldn't be that way 2 Likes |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Blitzerz: 6:08am On Jun 29, 2020 |
Tadeknkeepcalm:
That's what you've been told.
If our forefathers didn't like themselves, how many of us will be here today? Our forefathers didn't have wives with one tenth of the education and exposure the women of today have. |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by annsrealms(f): 6:09am On Jun 29, 2020 |
olujosh301:
The summary of what you're saying is that as long as a woman is happy in the marriage things would go smoothly
Once a man slacks in one area or the other things start going south and it shouldn't be that way Aren't we supposed to compliment each other. Human being are wired separately. Once you are married you will know marriage is all about sacrifices. |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Ladycewhy(f): 6:27am On Jun 29, 2020 |
lefulefu: 99 percent of women who deprive their husbands of sex are actually having active sex with other men.its because of the guilty concience they refuse having sex with their husbands is it too difficult to admit that a woman can actually not want sex? . Yes I know you men really can't fathom how a human can actually do that right? Because if e hold una e go be like say una wan die,una body go dey vibrate like say una wan kpeme, so you just can't believe a woman who doesn't have sex with her husband ,is truly not having sex anywhere. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Nobody: 6:30am On Jun 29, 2020 |
Tadeknkeepcalm: This is as a result of polygamy being obsolete in the society.
It's the only responsible alternative and would surely correct all these nonsense. |
Re: My Encounter With A Married Man Yesterday by Davidbakas(m): 6:37am On Jun 29, 2020 |
Please i am asking of those Chinese doctors |