U’ve drank Malt Before
*Uve gotten money from tha adults 4 dancin at a party.
*Ur parents add “O to tha end of every sentence: Shutup-O! Get me water-O!
*U’ve been told “AGBAYA!
*U’ve been slapped 4 not greetin someone
*U’ve gotten in trouble for giving an elder something wit ur left hand
*U gotta call all tha older Nigerians u kno uncle or auntie even if they not related!
*Ur parents talk HELLA loud on tha phone
*U get calls at 3 in tha morning from relatives askin 4 money
*Ur parents ask “Why don’t u bring ur friends to ur own house?
*U kno who King Sunny Ade is
*U kno wut chin chin, puff puff, or moyin moyin is
*U been hella scared watchin tha movies ur parents bring from “back home
*There is always rice or fufu in ur house
*If u find Naira in ur wallet once in a while
*Ur parents wanna call ur name but they call all ur siblings first b4 they get it rite!
*A party starts at 6 and u sho up at 10
*Uve had a family member stayin ova 4 HELLA long
*U say “Amen‿ a thousand times when u pray n all tha parents kno the exact time to say it.
*U always hear ur parents say “Ah ah!
*When ur parents threaten to send u “back home when u misbehave
*U point at something with ur lips
*U always have maggi cubes in ur house
*U gotta pronounce ur last name 20 times for people n they still don’t get it rite!
*U laughin at this stuff cuz some of its happened 2 u!!


OR


If, you ever had to take a bath with a bucket

If, you ever washed dishes at someone else's house

If, you ever had to line up for a spanking with a tree branch

If you turn into a pitbull when in confrontations

If, you have a relative that owns a "shop". Especially if it is a shop that caters mainly to foreigners.

If, all of your parents Nigerian friends are your "Uncles and Auntie's, not Aunts but Aunties.

If, when you are around Nigerians your accent either comes outta nowhere, or becomes thicker.

If, you have Naija relatives in Europe (especially London, England)

If, you have a rough estimate of how many Nigerians are at your school.

If, you are friends with someone just because they're Nigerian.

If, your parents use the word bloody to conjugate words a lot (e.g. bloody fool, bloody nonsense, bloody coward, bloody idiot)

If, your parents use phrases like "Eh whoa, Chineke, Che, Ah-Ah, Yepa! God forbid or by God's Grace".

If, your parents have ever threatened to kill you, break your head, back, or neck, or to "show you pepe".

If, any Nigerian kid that you known for a long time is your "cousin". Yeah, Right!

If, not properly greeting an elderly Nigerian person has ever gotten you in a load of trouble.

If, 'afrocentric' Americans get on your nerves with those tiger striped outfits.

If, when you were little you got FLOGGED (spanked) by someone who of course is Nigerian, but is not your parent, And your parents had their back, instead of yours! (shady huh?)

If, you are mad that Musiq Soul Child (even though he's cool) is getting props for starting the "headwrap" craze when you or your mom's been doing that since the dino-age.

If, your parents own expensive lace (like 200-300 dollars for one outfit), and they act shady when you want money for clothes.

If, your parents have ever compared your life here in America to theirs in Nigeria. (i.e. boarding school, no electricity, fetching water, Nigerian Civil War, etc)

If, when you parents curse you want so bad to laugh, but you don't wanna get slapped

If, you would prefer Farina (fufu) with soup over McDonalds any day.

If, you have ever been treated for a cold or sorethroat with "Pe-pe Soup", AND IT WORKED!!!!!!

If, your parents or relatives have ever disliked someone because of the simple fact that they were Black American.

(For females) If, not being able to cook stew or soup is one of the most major burdens in life.
(another one for females only)If, a Nigerian man who is about 2 or 3 times your age has ever tried to spit game, What a Shame!

If, names like Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Patience, Peace, Blessing, God's Will or Mercy sound pretty normal to you.

If you know someone named Ngozi and/or Uche

If you're at least 20mins late, to everything!

You can Dance, even when money isn't being thrown at you

Rice and stew just isn't the same without plantain (dodo

. . . if u can eat eba for breakfast
. . . if ur parents "force" you to study law, medicine or accounting

* if u have entered molue*

hazzel:

. . . if u can eat eba for breakfast
. . . if your parents "force" you to study law, medicine or accounting

dat is sooo true man, me mum once wanted me to do medicine man,
gush, been 9jirian is kul doe. proud of it anytym anyday.
9JA TO D FULLEST.

also ,
u know ur nigerian if u've been to a nigerian salon that sells lace, gold, shoes, phone cards , clothes, music things , food, medicine , magazines, nigerian movies and the salon doesnt even do hair that well

and u certainly know that ur nigerian if u understand the term 419

@naija-diva, girl, u're so right. i've experienced most of the stuffs u wrote. lmao!


If u've always been reminded u're a girl when u do smthin' wrong.

If u've been scolded for not helpin' your mom out in d kitchen

if u are always late

After not having light 4 like 4 days u still shout .Up Nepa!Even though it's now PHCN Whenever i

lol

If u ga whipped in high skool {secondary}

If U have watched NTA

If ur country choose their leaders by selection and not by election

IF u like OJUKWU, AWOLOWO or SARDUANA OF SOKOTO.

If your mom wants you to go visit people you hardly know or even like when you go VISIT HER.
If you ever held green leaves while walking the streets during riots. I don't know what the riot had to do with me or my brother, we were just elementary school kids

if u say 'i'm comin' n u r walkin away

if ur country tops d list of Applicants for US visa

if u can study PHE n still end up in d bank

if d old folks get d largest chunk of meat/fish

if u pay police money at check points.

if u get paid to vote for a candidate.

if u know the outcome of a court judgment.

if u hail ur leaders for stealing money.

If you have a 'village'
If you are from an ethnic group
If at least one relative stays agroad
If you know how powerful NEPA is
If you support the Super Eagles when they play a match
and in fact,
If you are smart

...

You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can reuse the wrapper.

You call a person you've never met before uncle or aunty.

More than 90% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal copies.

Your garage is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away,
just in case you need it someday.(a gum boot without a partner and
the baby walker - baby's now 12 and you are 48)

You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottle from your stays at hotels. (Gocool, Sweet heart, African pride, )

You have almost always carried overweight baggage when traveling by plane.

If a store has a limit on the quantity of a product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximum quantity possible. (sugar,soap, rice, cooking fat etc etc during old good days)

Children have annoying nicknames (De- Boy, De-Girl, Bomboy, Aboy)

Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit. ( uncle, wife, sis-in-law, two nephews and a neighbour have camped at home).

You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants. (Murray mints, wrappers, and salt shakers!)

Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and does not talk to her for 10 years.
You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night (especially Flashers).

You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight.

You keep changing your Internet Service Provider because the first month is free.

Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home.(Yes, staple machine, office pins, punch machine, cello tapes, post-its, etc.)

When you are young, your parents buy you clothes and shoes at least two sizes too big so that they would last longer.