[I think the stages are] friendship, companionship, dating and intimacy. Could everyone please come up with what they think the correct order should be. I think the correct order, in my opinion should be FDIC: ( subject to criticism )

Friendship, should come first (at least get to know if the other person is worth dating)

Dating, which gives you a better understanding of the other person, it could be single dating or group dating.

Intimacy comes after dating! Moving a step ahead. Here, you are beginning to consider the other person as a marriageable material.

Companionship - This probably comes in when the guy proposes and all hands are on deck for the wedding or when 'friendship' has now migrated to 'marriage'

It's funny how the order is battered these days! E.g boy meets girl and the next we hear is 'they're married'. I feel there should be a place for friendship, dating and intimacy before marriage. Friends are discovered not made! It's sad that a lot people get married these days without actually discovering the other person.

Ok Nairaland users, please tell me what you feel the proper order should be.

Friendship is synonymous to companionship. So, both of them should have been the very first thing I think.

Then Dating.

And then intimacy.

Intimacy should be forever for it is intimacy that makes a man and a woman live together as husband and wife and share each other's fate.

I do not agree with u that friendship and companionship should be placed together. Does it mean that every one whom you're friends with will eventually be your companion? No i suppose is your answer.

All companions are friends but not all friends are companions, i would imagine.

It's like a nice quote.

But how in a relationship matter will you differentiate between a companion and a friend?

pkrix:

It's like a nice quote.

But how in a relationship matter will you differentiate between a companion and a friend?

You will certainly know if the relationshiop you have with someone is friendship or companionship. Most times, companionship is deeper and you must have known the person to a certain extent. That's my opinion though. Doesnt mean i'm outrightly correct.

Dablessed, your order is quite okay by me and i think it is ideal.
You know some men could be so funny, they really batter the "order".I have quite experienced such, a guy i once new when in secondary school (note we were just friends, exchanging pleasantries, I barely knew him)just walked up to me some 5 years later asking me to marry him in a few months time, just like that,and i was like what? I barely know you!


Really i think you have to become friends first then if you feel you could date him/her, go ahead and who knows.............

I agree with dablessed.

Friendship is first because you have to get to know the other person enough to decide if you want to date them. This stage should be open with no commitments. We should be accepting people for who they are and be open to everything even if we don;t like it, we should ask questions here and be very observant. Pay attention to red flags. After this stage you decided if you want to date.

Dating second, because cause you are now getting to know about them a little deeper, you go places and do things together. This should be a slow paced thing.

Intimacy: Now you have developed a Genuine interest in them and may want to take a step further to share kissing, touching, over nights, deeper conversation and sex together.

Companionship 4th, because now you have a better idea of what you are dealing with all around. You are able to make a better decision about if you want to go further, such as marriage.

dablessed, your question is a closed question. I have my own ideas about the order in which a relationship should progress, and I don't think I can fit it into your friendship/dating/intimacy/companionship model at all!

Seun:

dablessed, your question is a closed question.  I have my own ideas about the order in which a relationship should progress, and I don't think I can fit it into your friendship/dating/intimacy/companionship model at all!

Seun,

Feel free to share your own ideas and you do not have to follow the FDIC pattern at all! Like I said earlier, I am open to positive criticisms.

What a loadacrap. No offence meant, but the I think someone has been reading too much Mills & Boons or Cosmopolitan. Abeg people, this is real life. Real life does not follow any written scripts last time I checked. Small time, someone will say falling in love is controllable just like you flick on or off a switch.

So in what category would you put love at first sight? And nobody should PLEASE tell me that inot possible because it is. Life throws us curves that we are not prepared for at times. Thats what makes life so much more fulfilling. And please and please throwaway that script. It just doesnt go like that.

Friendship cannot be the first thing. Dating is the first.

Friendship comes if a dating offer is refused. For instance, I meet a girl that I like, I ask her out. She says yes, we start with the dating stage. She says no, but we can be friends, and I can decide to be friends or not to be friends with her.

From there on, it's intimacy and/or companionship depending on how the dating goes. Sometimes, friends can get intimate, which is unplanned.

So it's either
Dating -> Companionship/Intimacy
or
Friendship -> (rare) Intimacy -> Companionship.

There.

@jogego:
Thank you, Jogego.

Since life is not a play/film where there is scripts and everydody act to it, you can't really predict how and what order one will go through in relationship. As you said there is sometimes love at first site.

But sometimes the order stuff can still work out .

freindship comes after dating i suppose

i think for some peopple especially first timer and inexprience peopple that step will be very important for them to follow,but for people like jogego player for real he doesn't such step since he know what hee want.

mosiate:

I think for some peopple especially first timer and inexprience peopple that step will be very important for them to follow,but for people like jogego player for real he doesn't such step since he know what hee want.

abeg mosiate, won ma ni be rere e je oh!!!! they will not spoil your good oh!!! abeg na who tell you say I be player? I go sue you for defamation of character oh!!!! where are the lawyers in the house

jogego:

mosiate link=topic=598.msg8587#msg8587 date=1120054854:

I think for some peopple especially first timer and inexprience peopple that step will be very important for them to follow,but for people like jogego player for real he doesn't such step since he know what hee want.

abeg mosiate, won ma ni be rere e je oh!!!! they will not spoil your good oh!!! abeg na who tell you say I be player? I go sue you for defamation of character oh!!!! where are the lawyers in the house

Jogego,

Never mind.

I guess Mosiate only wanted to know if you were still an active member of the forum. I think she got an answer.

Too much grammar here. Companionship could occur without friendship but one thing normally lead to the other. No rigid formula.

HND HOLDER:

Too much grammar here. Companionship could occur without friendship but one thing normally lead to the other. No rigid formula.

OND Holder,

I do not agree with you. How do you intend to be another person's companion when you have not taken time to know if you have things in common? Dont you think it could be disastrous?

I beg... i need to know also.

dablessed:

jogego link=topic=598.msg8801#msg8801 date=1120144871:

[quote author=mosiate link=topic=598.msg8587#msg8587 date=1120054854]
I think for some peopple especially first timer and inexprience peopple that step will be very important for them to follow,but for people like jogego player for real he doesn't such step since he know what hee want.

abeg mosiate, won ma ni be rere e je oh!!!! they will not spoil your good oh!!! abeg na who tell you say I be player? I go sue you for defamation of character oh!!!! where are the lawyers in the house

Jogego,

Never mind.

I guess Mosiate only wanted to know if you were still an active member of the forum. I think she got an answer.
[/quote]
dablessed,don't jogego he want to deny as if he not.

I would have to say that I can agree and disagree with your formula, dablessed.

From personal experience, some of my closest friendships have blossomed from dating first.  During the course of dating is when we get to know one another, become friends, and later became companions at times never being intimate. 

Then there are also times when I turn down those who ask me out after becoming friends with fear that the friendship will be destroyed if the dating doesn't work.  Sometimes once a person is placed in the "friends" category it's hard to see them as anything more.

(most guys hate to hear, "let's just be friends."  It can be seen as a refusal for anything more.)

How ever the start, whether dating or friendship comes first, intimacy should be saved for marriage.  I say that as one who became intimate with "boyfriends with whom I've been in serious relationships with" that never led to marriage and how I wish I could turn back the clock.

Also, I feel that companionship should be established before marriage.  Your marriage partner should be your friend, your companion, and a person you still date (it doesn't stop after becoming married).  How can you marry a person you are not a companion with already?

I really do agree wiv your views Vexxy.u have said it all

INTIMACY (FIRST AND FOREMOST)

DATING(IF THE SEX IS HOTT, THEN U WANNA DATE HER)

COMPANIONSHIP(IF THE SEX WAS BLAZING THEN U MIGHT WANNA MARRY HER)

NOW WUT WAS THA OTHER ONE AGAIN??

Mine is:
1) Friendship
2) Courtship
3) Marriage
4) Sex, babies, etc.

Seun:

Mine is:
1) Friendship
2) Courtship
3) Marriage
4) Sex, babies, etc.

@ seun i really hope u've been practicing that sha?

as for me:
- friendship
- courtship
- sex (gotta taste the banana and know wat i gotta deal with)
- marriage
- babies, etc

If the girl wants to shift the sex forward that will be really cool. I'm an atheist, so I don't mind.

The problem is with these girls that will have sex with you, and then go to church on Sunday to confess and claim that you are the one leading them into temptation. Then dump you later 'for God'. Hypocrites!

@ seun

awwww, pele

Nothing like that has happened to me, please, but it has happened to other male 'unbelievers'!!

some people say sex after marriage, some say sex before. what if you wait till after marriage, and discover that your partner can't do the do? what then do you do? any opinions?

soulpatrol:

some people say sex after marriage, some say sex before. what if you wait till after marriage, and discover that your partner can't do the do? what then do you do? any opinions?

Then u do what u gotta do, which is to do the do do

If the girl wants to shift the intimacy forward that will be really cool. I'm an atheist, so I don't mind.

The problem is with these girls that will have intimacy with you, and then go to church on Sunday to confess and claim that you are the one leading them into temptation. Then dump you later 'for God'. Hypocrites!

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool, ye mo gbe oh!!!!


mehn, dat really got me laughin!!!!

for me,i think i like the FCIM or FCMI, anywhich way i think it is genuineness and sincerity of intentions that matter eventually!