I am posting this with my moniker instead of opening a new account. Now I understand what it means to be a woman who's husband lost his means of lively hood.

2 years ago, 2018 January, I had to settle down with my girlfriend because she got pregnant for me. My family was really against my choice of settling with her due to religion bases and financial grounds. I was brought up in a Christan home even though my name has a familiar Islamic name. But here I am with a daughter of an Islamic preacher.
Even her father was vehemently against our Union. That period came with a lot of drama and insult I had to deal with. Since I settled down with her, my family has turned against me. My blood brother nolonger pick up my call nor reply my Whatsapp. It got to an extent his wife was the one picking my calls. I can't actually blame her because the message was loud and clear. When I reported him to my father, he dropped the call on me.
My mom doesn't act towards me like she used too before. Even my dad too. I don't know if my choice was so bad that they couldn't accept me and my wife and kid irrespective of the background.

On my wife's part, her mother used to visit atimes except the father. Whenever we go to visit her dad, the man tries to excercise some patience but I can tell he is really unhappy with the daughter or specifically me. I remember late 2018 I bought somethings for him and even sent him some money but he rejected it and I really felt bad.
In June 2019, i lost my job and i was back to square zero. I keep tryin to put the memories of how it happened into play but it's all disjointed. Since then, my wife's mother used to support us even though her family isn't that bouyant. My own family has at no time even risen to help me in any way. I am being treated like an outcast.

Since I lost my job, the respect my wife accorded me has significantly reduced. Atimes when she starts her fight, I start thinking maybe my family was right, maybe I really made a mistake. Atimes I have to go and stay at football viewing centers just to make sure I come home late to avoid unnecessary arguments.

I really don't blame her, How do you respect a man that can hardly feed himself talkless of his child's mother. The little I make from random jobs isn't even enough to feed the baby properly. So last week, the caretaker incharge of our house came to tell me to move out this month, 23rd,if I am not going to renew the rent. The worst part was that he said it in the presence of my neighbor and my wife. I have exceeded my rent by 3 months already because I was able to speak with the own of the house.

Since I have been living with my wife, I have never seen her so sober. I picked my phone and inform my mom what was going on but I was surprised she could still turn her back on us. They said they took loan for something (I don't doubt it and I don't believe it). My wife suggested that the best option is to go back to her parents with her baby for the time being. God knows I can't afford to part with my child and wife at this point.. I don't even know where to look upto too for help.
Nairalaners I have come to you for help. Instead of opening a new account to o solicit for help, I have swallowed my pride and I am using my main moniker to post this. I have been able to raise just 14k

Let her go back home for now.

With time everything will fall into place again.

I feel for you. I have been in a situation before. When your parents don't consent to your Union, don't go ahead no matter how in love you might be

See Moniker, the Other room. See where that other room land you. . Lol

Sir, I really hope you get the help you desire. Since your relatives aren't helping, I believe you have to Man Up and settle this yourself. Although I don't really buy the idea of allowing your wife to go back to her parents (you may lose them for good) but that's the only option for now. Or have you tried reaching out to friends that can allow your wife and child squat for sometimes while you go out to hustle?

Family isn't about blood bro move on with life and try to be successful and don't let people pressure you into accepting their choices . Also being unemployed and having a wife is a very hard phase. Wish I can be of help

Ariza:
. Although I don't really buy the idea of allowing your wife to go back to her parents (you may lose them for good)

you spoke my mind. Deep

Mineisgrace:
I feel for you. I have been in a situation before. When your parents don't consent to your Union, don't go ahead no matter how in love you might be

Lovers don't usually heed this advise!

They forget that when everything turns South or the journey looks rough, you need genuine love and support from somewhere. Only the family can provide this!

Unfortunately, the Op didn't probably build good friends as his family. This is the time they would have help.

What ever you do don't let her go back to her family house. You will regret it

TheOtherRoom:
I am posting this with my moniker instead of opening a new account. Now I understand what it means to be a woman who's husband lost his means of lively hood.

2 years ago, 2018 January, I had to settle down with my girlfriend because she got pregnant for me. My family was really against my choice of settling with her due to religion bases and financial grounds. I was brought up in a Christan home even though my name has a familiar Islamic name. But here I am with a daughter of an Islamic preacher.
Even her father was vehemently against our Union. That period came with a lot of drama and insult I had to deal with. Since I settled down with her, my family has turned against me. My blood brother nolonger pick up my call nor reply my Whatsapp. It got to an extent his wife was the one picking my calls. I can't actually blame her because the message was loud and clear. When I reported him to my father, he dropped the call on me.
My mom doesn't act towards me like she used too before. Even my dad too. I don't know if my choice was so bad that they couldn't accept me and my wife and kid irrespective of the background.

On my wife's part, her mother used to visit atimes except the father. Whenever we go to visit her dad, the man tries to excercise some patience but I can tell he is really unhappy with the daughter or specifically me. I remember late 2018 I bought somethings for him and even sent him some money but he rejected it and I really felt bad.
In June 2019, i lost my job and i was back to square zero. I keep tryin to put the memories of how it happened into play but it's all disjointed. Since then, my wife's mother used to support us even though her family isn't that bouyant. My own family has at no time even risen to help me in any way. I am being treated like an outcast.

Since I lost my job, the respect my wife accorded me has significantly reduced. Atimes when she starts her fight, I start thinking maybe my family was right, maybe I really made a mistake. Atimes I have to go and stay at football viewing centers just to make sure I come home late to avoid unnecessary arguments.

I really don't blame her, How do you respect a man that can hardly feed himself talkless of his child's mother. The little I make from random jobs isn't even enough to feed the baby properly. So last week, the caretaker incharge of our house came to tell me to move out this month, 23rd,if I am not going to renew the rent. The worst part was that he said it in the presence of my neighbor and my wife. I have exceeded my rent by 3 months already because I was able to speak with the own of the house.

Since I have been living with my wife, I have never seen her so sober. I picked my phone and inform my mom what was going on but I was surprised she could still turn her back on us. They said they took loan for something (I don't doubt it and I don't believe it). My wife suggested that the best option is to go back to her parents with her baby for the time being. God knows I can't afford to part with my child and wife at this point.. I don't even know where to look upto too for help.
Nairalaners I have come to you for help. Instead of opening a new account to o solicit for help, I have swallowed my pride and I am using my main moniker to post this. I have been able to raise just 14k

If not for the coldness of your family (they should have forgiven you and moved on), I would have suggested she goes to your family house.

Let her go to her parents (if they will have her while you try to make ends meet).

This is a really trying time and you and your wife need to fight this together and stick like glue.

When she goes to her parents' house, remember she would feel bad especially as they were against the union.

She might be taunted and unable to fully give you the support you need.

You both should be patient and thoughtful with one another so you come out of this mess stronger.

Also see if you can have contacts/referrals in your local church for jobs. Look inwards for skills you can monetize.

You can also going back home to humbly appeal to your parents to raise you.

All will be well.

You need help but you didn't post your account details??

M

Cityqueengirl:
You need help but you didn't post your account details??

I'm also in need of help. My lap top screen is bad. And I also need to replace the keyboard and battery. Can you be of help to me?

... and what will you do when the money you came begging on NL will finish?! beg for more or what? you cannot take care of that woman and her baby, dont be selfish and let her go back where they will be "safe" until you can get back on your feet...

MrBrownJay1:
... and what will you do when the money you came begging on NL will finish?! beg for more or what? you cannot take care of that woman and her baby, dont be selfish and let her go back where they will be "safe" until you can get back on your feet...

Op i tink i like dis advise, pls use it or raise some money and get a room apartment 4 d time been

Pls who has a job for this young family, abeg?
God bless you, if you can help him with a job.
OP, what are your qualifications and where are you based?
Perhaps you may get lucky and someone will give you a job.

xband:

I'm also in need of help. My lap top screen is bad. And I also need to replace the keyboard and battery. Can you be of help to me?

you people are annoying sometime

Bro I really fell your pain don't mind the caretaker talk to the landlord nobody can throws you out like that

Op how are we sure you are not lying? This could be a made up story.

What i feel you should also add... Is your qualifications...some of us may not be financial buoyant... But could help with job ..if we come across some

One of the dangers of getting married to someone both families aren't in support of.

The journey is too long and weary to embark on without family backing.

I know my Dad, he will just forget me in d marriage, it's maybe my mum and my sisters that might even feel sympathy, and that's if they have anything to give at that time.

Love makes a difficult journey slightly easy.

HotPoundedYam:
Family isn't about blood bro move on with life and try to be successful and don't let people pressure you into accepting their choices . Also being unemployed and having a wife is a very hard phase. Wish I can be of help

I wish we all understand the bolded. One shouldn't bother about whoever that doesn't want one's choice(s).

Op you made the right choice. Don't ever allow your family to guilt trip you. Your wife's behaviour is normal, there is a baby to feed. Your family might have turned their back on you but God would never turn His back on you. That time you are using to go to watch match why not use it and hustle or look for job. What is your qualification. Begging on nairaland would not help but would only prolong the evil day. This is emergency bro. Launch out and hustle and God would see you through.

[quote author=jesmond3945 post=91591691]Op you made the right choice. Don't ever allow your family to guilt trip you. Your wife's behaviour is normal, there is a baby to feed. Your family might have turned their back on you but God would never turn His back on you. That time you are using to go to watch match why not use it and hustle or look for job. What is your qualification. Begging on nairaland would not help but would only prolong the evil day. This is emergency bro. Launch out and hustle and God would see you through.[/quote

What elder sees on seat kids won't see it even if he climb on top of a tree! Perhaps the parents have seen (foretold) that marriage btw the two couple will bring hardships & trouble and that's y they rejected the union vehemently!

A marriage that non of four direct in -laws are in support of, one need to think twice.

What I cherish won't kill me and what will kill me I won't cherish it


And for you the adviser, ur advice is good , I hope you will support him now as a fellow nairalander.

The families are all on a "I told you so" mode. Was really bad going against family, love is sweet and all but family support is also important.

@Op will be best you drop ur location, qualification and perhaps account number.

jesmond3945:
Op you made the right choice. Don't ever allow your family to guilt trip you. Your wife's behaviour is normal, there is a baby to feed. Your family might have turned their back on you but God would never turn His back on you. That time you are using to go to watch match why not use it and hustle or look for job. What is your qualification. Begging on nairaland would not help but would only prolong the evil day. This is emergency bro. Launch out and hustle and God would see you through.

Please don't say it's normal cos many ladies will rise up to the situation and assist. It's obvious she's dependent wholly on the op hence d resentment. True test of love comes when things are rough.

.

.

gbese..

Cityqueengirl:
You need help but you didn't post your account details??

I am sorry about that. I wasn't sure what to do or not. The situation is frausstrating
2146625372 U B A

eyinjuege:
Pls who has a job for this young family, abeg?
God bless you, if you can help him with a job.
OP, what are your qualifications and where are you based?
Perhaps you may get lucky and someone will give you a job.

thank you . I have a BA Sociology. With two years working experience

Foodqueen:
Let her go back home for now.

With time everything will fall into place again.

she has not left my house she has started misbehaving to me. What now happens if she goes home with my child?