Think9ja:
So true, especially accommodation.

Guys, try as much as possible to own a house before you marry.

Sometimes I see married men saying their wives should contribute to the rent or building of their house. Wtf? Not me! I will ensure you don't contribute a penny to the rent or building of my house.

The only thing that will be yours in my house is your clothes.

I will not allow any woman buy even a spoon in my house. I will ensure everything under that roof belongs to me.

This is because whenever she messes up and I want to boot her out, it will be so easy as it won't change the settings of my living room or kitchen. It will only reduce rags in my bedroom.

I will always use the slightest opportunity to remind her of her position in my house. Fvck up and get booted out.

Whenever she remembers she don't have anything under your roof except her clothes, she'll mellow. This is the only way to clip her wings.

Rubbish

This one is living in a fantasy world.
Dude! You're delusional.

bukatyne:


Sorry to burst your bubble, that verse was not talking about male provision.

That passage was addressing provision for widows.

Really? Can you kindly explain how that verse below which clearly talked about provision for the household suddenly became "male provision for widows"

Ekwutox:


Really? Can you kindly explain how that verse below which clearly talked about provision for the household suddenly became "male provision for widows"

1 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; 2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. 3 Honour widows that are widows indeed. 4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God. 5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. 7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless. 8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. 9 Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man.

The verse in contention is vs 8.
1. That passage was talking about care and provision for widows and divided them into two: widows who have relatives and widows indeed.
2. KJV has always used the male gender to denote the human race; e.g. If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; Men always ought to pray and not to faint etc.

Read verse 4 and verse 16 of that chapter:
4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.

So you understand verse 8 better:
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Munzy14:

I doubt this. Especially when a tendency of re-occurrence is there.

Spoken words penetrate deeper than knife.


He is using the best way to punish her for what she did to him. Just my type of man.


She is getting hurt anytime he rejects her gift and it massages his ego...

If forgiveness will come, it will be years to come.

Nwannaa, speak for yourself.

So, you mean if I begged you with a plate of gorgeously fried plantain with peppered turkey, you still wouldn't forgive?
Kwo eshiokwu ooo

bukatyne:
Hmmmmmmmmmm

Then the man makes the money and treats the wife like trash and on and on.

While not condoning laziness, layabouts and financially irresponsible husbands, respect should never be based on what he brings to the table IF he is working hard at it.

I do not think the husband has overstepped his boundaries advising his daughter to read because the wife bought the form.

Does it mean that if the man does well and start paying the girl's fees, the mother cannot advise her?

If the man hits it big and builds a house tomorrow, the wife would have no say in the house /home?

The wife was very disrespectful to her husband.

Very.

Perhaps, all she wanted was a money bag.

This has been the problem in many homes. Money is the basis of authority and control. Money! Money!! Money!!!

In this family, it is obvious that it is only the person who brings in the money that has a say in that matter. Their foundation is obviously wrong.

Munzy14:
Ladies Take Op seriously at your own peril.

The moment a man provides all that himself, Just know u av little or no say in the house.


And your opinion is barely taken, with time he will tell you to quit your work and stay at home.


As he is winning bread, please win akara (beans cake). So your respect for each other will be intact.

Deep secret , men respect and cherish their working class wife. If you look beyond the normal ego, you will see you are cherished as a lady.

True. It happens too often that men who are sole providers control everything the woman does and how she spends. Even control her relationships with her family and friends. People are usually okay with this.

If majority of women who provide for men act like the majority of men who provide for women, everything would be up in flames now. Remember dependent women have derisive nicknames for being dependent but we are all okay with that.
All that talk about how ladies go haywire when they are the breadwinners compared to when men are breadwinners na just unverified lies.

Some guys like that are just mad they can’t take your money and tell you how to breath. While forgetting that they aren’t playing the part of a home keeper while you’re doing the bread winning.

In my opinion if they can’t peacefully trade places (to some extent) with the woman when the roles are flipped, they should keep quiet and make sure they play their part.

Although I’ll state the lady in the OP was out of line. The man didn’t do anything wrong by encouraging his daughter to study.

ImaIma1:


This has been the problem in many homes. Money is the basis of authority and control. Money! Money!! Money!!!

In this family, it is obvious that it is only the person who brings in the money that has a say in that matter. Their foundation is obviously wrong.

Very very very very true.

TooNoisy:
When a man pays the bills for 15 years, nobody would know.

When a woman pays for 3 months, the whole world would hear it.

It’s an advice to both parties. Men, live up to your responsibilities. Women, support your men without rubbing it in his face.

Mehn!
Are we sure that this is a woman?
You got balls!!
Well said.. maximum respect!!!
You're a queen indeed.

bukatyne:


Except you are husband, you can't tell when the forgiveness would come.

I am sure with genuine, heartfelt apology, it would soften his heart and start accepting her and her gifts again.

Things would turn out well for them in Jesus name.

I love joyful, loving families.

We all love families with good vibes...But then, Spoken words cannot be retrieved. Some are forgiven,but not forgotten.


I like to face realities, so if a solution is proffered, it becomes a way out of it.

Even in better economic climes most families need two incomes to pay for the house and college fees so what the heck are we discussing here? It's ridiculous.

ImaIma1:


This has been the problem in many homes. Money is the basis of authority and control. Money! Money!! Money!!!

In this family, it is obvious that it is only the person who brings in the money that has a say in that matter. Their foundation is obviously wrong.

Interesting. So what would you say is the right foundation?. And what should be the basis of authority and control, then rather than money?

ImaIma1:


Marriage counselling and books will be of great help to understand this. Intending couples and couples having difficulties should avail themselves of these.

Funny you, whatever I read in those books can at most form my personal opinion. I was asking what yours is. Could have stated it in a few words, couldn't you?

DrLiveLogic:

Interesting. So what would you say is the right foundation?. And what should be the basis of authority and control, then rather than money?

Marriage counselling and books will be of great help to understand this. Intending couples and couples having difficulties should avail themselves of these.

Mariangeles:


Nwannaa, speak for yourself.

So, you mean if I begged you with a plate of gorgeously fried plantain with peppered turkey, you still wouldn't forgive?
Kwo eshiokwu ooo

I am giving you tips of how we men (some) react you deh tell me speak for myself.. ok na.

I am a man, and I know discussions we have over cold beer...

Responsible man cannot beat nor exchange words with a woman like say na market campaign, but actions are employed as preventive mode.

Hehehe I wont become second esau now..


If you offend me, we go sort am out before I will even have appetite to even eat, nor play romance.

And I won't even give room for my ego as male to get bruised like that. Its a like punching a man's hard earned confidence.

You can bash your man in private with him alone, but in public people will treat him the way u treat him. Same goes to how a man treats his woman. Things u say abt him in public spread faster if it is negative.

cococandy:


True. It happens too often that men who are sole providers control everything the woman does and how she spends. Even control her relationships with her family and friends. People are usually okay with this.

If majority of women who provide for men act like the majority of men who provide for women, everything would be up in flames now. Remember dependent women have derisive nicknames for being dependent but we are all okay with that.
All that talk about how ladies go haywire when they are the breadwinners compared to when men are breadwinners na just unverified lies.

Some guys like that are just mad they can’t take your money and tell you how to breath. While forgetting that they aren’t playing the part of a home keeper while you’re doing the bread winning.

In my opinion if they can’t peacefully trade places (to some extent) with the woman when the roles are flipped, they should keep quiet and make sure they play their part.

Although I’ll state the lady in the OP was out of line. The man didn’t do anything wrong by encouraging his daughter to study.

well I agree with some paragraphs.

The society is going down on morals.

I always say we have few wives and many women.

Nowadays marriages is becoming somehow, compared to marriages in 90s.

Some of us grew up in homes with mom earning higher, yet issues didn't come up like what we see today. Nowadays the society tends to live on SM hear say.


Even marriages nowadays have become a place of show-off. Turning people to live above income.

Money/resources will always be an issue in most marital issues...Its high time intending couples discuss at length how responsibilities are shared ,and also project eventualities and its navigation. Nobody knows tomorrow.


My take, no mata how wealthy a man is, never settle to him providing all.

He will ones in a while rub it in.

DrLiveLogic:

Interesting. So what would you say is the right foundation?. And what should be the basis of authority and control, then rather than money?


Funny you, whatever I read in those books can at most form my personal opinion. I was asking what yours is. Could have stated it in a few words, couldn't you?

God (Marriage should be a three fold cord..husband, wife and God
Friendship
Consideration for each other
...etc

Munzy14:

I am giving you tips of how we men (some) react you deh tell me speak for myself.. ok na.

I am a man, and I know discussions we have over cold beer...

Responsible man cannot beat nor exchange words with a woman like say na market campaign, but actions are employed as preventive mode.

Hehehe I wont become second esau now..


If you offend me, we go sort am out before I will even have appetite to even eat, nor play romance.

And I won't even give room for my ego as male to get bruised like that. Its a like punching a man's hard earned confidence.

You can bash your man in private with him alone, but in public people will treat him the way u treat him. Same goes to how a man treats his woman. Things u say abt him in public spread faster if it is negative.

Ngwanu ooo!

Mariangeles:

Ngwanu ooo!

lol, na so head -down fourth people they talk am?

Munzy14:

lol, na so head -down fourth people they talk am?

Owu otu owu!

Ole kpa-iri?

I hope I got the owerre dialect right?

Mariangeles:


This one is living in a fantasy world.
Dude! You're delusional.

Lol, this is reality of some men o.


I have a family friend who made his wealth before marrying his wife...Dude always want to be the one to tell the wife how to breathe...lol.

Although the wife no the help matters, how can u a open a 2mill worth business for someone, and she still calls u to fuel her car, buy gas for house, plus other groceries aside the fact u have provided a shelter and basic needs plus kids school fees.


He had to withdraw the car from her when it developed engine faults. Till today she no get personal car when they have more than 5cars in their garage..

Some ladies just give men room to treat them anyhow in marriage.

Mariangeles:


Owu otu owu!

Ole kpa-iri?

I hope I got the owerre dialect right?

owu ya!.

Ari mi mma o...

I na shiri nini ta? hope u grabbed this one?

Munzy14:

Lol, this is reality of some men o.


I have a family friend who made his wealth before marrying his wife...Dude always want to be the one to tell the wife how to breathe...lol.

Although the wife no the help matters, how can u a open a 2mill worth business for someone, and she still calls u to fuel her car, buy gas for house, plus other groceries aside the fact u have provided a shelter and basic needs plus kids school fees.


He had to withdraw the car from her when it developed engine faults. Till today she no get personal car when they have more than 5cars in their garage..

Some ladies just give men room to treat them anyhow in marriage.

Na her stingy ass sabi

Munzy14:



owu ya!.

Ari mi mma o...

I na shiri nini ta? hope u grabbed this one?

Hahahahahahahaha

osikapa ngwogwo

Think9ja:
So true, especially accommodation.

Guys, try as much as possible to own a house before you marry.

Sometimes I see married men saying their wives should contribute to the rent or building of their house. Wtf? Not me! I will ensure you don't contribute a penny to the rent or building of my house.

The only thing that will be yours in my house is your clothes.

I will not allow any woman buy even a spoon in my house. I will ensure everything under that roof belongs to me.

This is because whenever she messes up and I want to boot her out, it will be so easy as it won't change the settings of my living room or kitchen. It will only reduce rags in my bedroom.

I will always use the slightest opportunity to remind her of her position in my house. Fvck up and get booted out.

Whenever she remembers she don't have anything under your roof except her clothes, she'll mellow. This is the only way to clip her wings.

Rubbish

You must really believe all women are the same for you to have this mentality. Only people with self-esteem issues will put up with your dictatorship in marriage.

Mariangeles:

Na her stingy ass sabi



Hahahahahahahaha
osikapa ngwogwo

Sure.
ooh so u grabbed the owerri dialect...
Jisie ike.
Anyi ñushiri mmi riri happy, kpa o ji ari ya ri...

ImaIma1:


God (Marriage should be a three fold cord..husband, wife and God
Friendship
Consideration for each other
...etc

You need to come back to earth, as much as the three things you mentioned is important, money is also very very important, even poor people strive everyday to get the dough, because they know that having excess money makes all things easy.

Think9ja:
So true, especially accommodation.

Guys, try as much as possible to own a house before you marry.

Sometimes I see married men saying their wives should contribute to the rent or building of their house. Wtf? Not me! I will ensure you don't contribute a penny to the rent or building of my house.

The only thing that will be yours in my house is your clothes.

will not allow any woman buy even a spoon in my house. I will ensure everything under that roof belongs to me.

This is because whenever she messes up and I want to boot her out, it will be so easy as it won't change the settings of my living room or kitchen. It will only reduce rags in my bedroom.

I will always use the slightest opportunity to remind her of her position in my house. Fvck up and get booted out.

Whenever she remembers she don't have anything under your roof except her clothes, she'll mellow. This is the only way to clip her wings.

Rubbish

I agree that a man should try as much as possible in his power to provide everything, but providing everything so you can rub it in her face and chase her out when she goes gaga crazy is a wrong mindset.

Munzy14:

Sure.

ooh so u grabbed the owerri dialect...

Jisie ike.

Anyi ñushiri mmi riri happy, kpa o ji ari ya ri...

Ndee, gbando gbuem!

Kuku kill me!

Ndi chop life geng!

Mariangeles:


Ndee, gbando gbuem!
Kuku kill me!
Ndi chop life geng!

Biglittlelois:



You need to come back to earth, as much as the three things you mentioned is important, money is also very very important, even poor people strive everyday to get the dough, because they know that having excess money makes all things easy.

Who says money is not important. But is it the foundation of a relationship? I am sure you know what foundation means.

ImaIma1:


Who says money is not important. But is it the foundation of a relationship? I am sure you know what foundation means.

We are not talking about foundation here, we're talking about what will make a marriage bearable to some extent, and money is a key factor.

Biglittlelois:



We are not talking about foundation here, we're talking about what will make a marriage bearable to some extent, and money is a key factor.

We were actually talking about foundation and basis for control, not what makes marriage bearable. Saying that whoever has the money is the one that should have a say in matters

cococandy:


True. It happens too often that men who are sole providers control everything the woman does and how she spends. Even control her relationships with her family and friends. People are usually okay with this.

If majority of women who provide for men act like the majority of men who provide for women, everything would be up in flames now. Remember dependent women have derisive nicknames for being dependent but we are all okay with that.
All that talk about how ladies go haywire when they are the breadwinners compared to when men are breadwinners na just unverified lies.

Some guys like that are just mad they can’t take your money and tell you how to breath. While forgetting that they aren’t playing the part of a home keeper while you’re doing the bread winning.

In my opinion if they can’t peacefully trade places (to some extent) with the woman when the roles are flipped, they should keep quiet and make sure they play their part.

Although I’ll state the lady in the OP was out of line. The man didn’t do anything wrong by encouraging his daughter to study.

That is why most guys frown at a lazy man.
As a man, you need to go out and do something no matter what rather than being lazy or not industrious/innovative/dynamic