This is the question that kept coming to my mind since the day I saw the image of ” ‘who gave you my number’ is sipping jwince”. I couldn’t help but marvel at our level of perversion, not because of the image in itself but because of the mentality that birth the quote on the image.

Here is it; we have been taught to believe that singleness is a crime, that being single is not a good thing, some even see it as a disease, from the teen age, no one is expected to be without a partner and when you are, they make you feel less of yourself. To talk about being single in your early and mid 20s has become a thing of shame, a life you are not proud of, a position you are just not expected to be happy to be in. Everyone see you as an object of pity and wish they could do something to help you out of the state and try things like hooking you up and so on. What then shall we say about people in their late 20s? That is a story for another day cos where do I start from? Your matter becomes a prayer point.

“Being single for more than 6months straight is tragic” another one I stumble on recently and couldn’t get off my mind. Wondering why I can’t stop asking who has bewitched us, bah? He ended by saying “for 6months nobody told you ‘goodnight I love you’ even if it’s a lie?” and I wonder when I need to be in a relationship for the sole reason of hearing someone say he loves me and be contented enough not to care that he doesn’t mean it, I mean “who meaning it epp? As long as I can hear the I love you, that’s quite enough right?” No, it’s not meant to be, not at all.

Relationships are seen as an escape route from loneliness, from low self esteem, from unfulfilled dreams, from a broken heart, from emotional wretchedness. Like it’s the only way to get attention now, uhn?! Let’s come off it, people.

I’ve seen fulfilled single, singles who has done well to make impact in their world, guys who has done so well for themselves and has never been in any relationship in their late 20s. Ladies in their early 30s, single and fulfilled that it takes a man worthy of their attention to get it. People comfortable in their own skin enough to know who deserves them. People sold out into so many healthy relationships with both male and female gender to worry about not having a romantic relationship with anyone. Those who know their worth so much to not settle for an every night ‘I love you’ that could most likely be a lie. People who knows the place of privacy to the point of asking anyone “how did you get my number, please” if need be when they get random calls from strangers. People with so full emotional tank that doesn’t need to wait for a “good morning my love” message from a person before they step out knowing they are loved, cherished, admired and celebrated.

No man is an island is a true fact but it doesn’t mean everyone that will help you get to the climax of your life or ensure your growth must be someone you are in a relationship with. Not at all. This is the place of creating healthy relationships and ensuring you are investing in them (time most importantly)

Why am I saying all this? I’ve seen pathetic singles, singles you will cry with��‍♀️ people engrossed in getting married at certain age and getting tired of life because it’s not forthcoming. I’ve seen people agreeing to settle for less than they deserve in a relationship in the name of “I’m getting old, my mates are all married”. I’ve seen people putting a full stop on their goal and life pursuit because they are single and their family is expecting them to bring a partner home. Truth is it happens mostly to the female gender. I know of some persons thinking of bringing down their moral standard because they are tired of waiting for the one who will help them uphold it, why? It’s getting late. (Abeg, who fixed the time?��‍♀)

Societal pressure keeps everyone on their toes. When it enters the family, ehn! It’s story for another day. We are all in a rat race that leads nowhere in the name of pleasing people around us, satisfying that crave or becoming like everyone else.

Hey! Look here, kindly enjoy your single life all you want, my dear. It’s a period of personal growth and development, use it wisely.

©esthertola

all I see here are emotional outbursts from a random girl
nothing to see here