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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? (1477 Views)
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Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 5:45pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Good evening romancelanders, I trust you all are having a wonderful day. Would make my story as brief as possible, I meet this girl sometime in 2018 and we have been dating for about two years now. She is Esan, from Edo state and I am Igbo, we have gotten along really well ever since. I was considering making her known to my parents but feared tribal difference might be a problem. I stylishly asked my mother what she would think if i wanted to marry an Edo babe and her response was, she has nothing against them but our reasoning and theirs might not gel well. She said I should rather bring home an Igbo girl. The truth is I have a very good relationship with my parents and don't want anything to hamper that. I am not a mummy/daddy's boy in any way, rather the opposite. My parents have utmost respect for me because of my hustling spirit right from a very young age. How can I let the babe off easily without causing much hurt to her? Please matured advice needed. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by Nobody: 6:13pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn:You haven't told us the truth why you want to let go of her ...your excuse look lame to me. So no advice. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 6:17pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
uruba23:Which excuse looks lame? My parents are obviously not in support of the relationship. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by Nobody: 6:26pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn:If I read your statement very well, your parents don't know this lady and only express reservations base on cultural differences.I just have a feeling you have lost interest in her, if you love someone you learn to discuss those challenges if she can cope. You should introduce her first, you don't know if both her and your mum would end up been best of friends. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by Decimus: 6:28pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn:How old are you? Are you educated? According to your post, your mother just raised a slight objection based on her understanding that the reasoning of two people might not 'gel' based on tribal difference alone, but is that entirely true? |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 6:28pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
uruba23:I wanted to make the whole story as brief as possible! of course my mother asked if there was an actual person as most mother's would do, and I told her all about her. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by Nobody: 6:30pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
After 2 years of nacking. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by lilmax(m): 6:30pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn: Imagine in 2020 This dumbass allow tribe cloud his brain Imagine in 2020, you consider your parents decision in making the right partner who'd be with you forever You need to grow up |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 6:31pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Decimus:Long story short she clearly stated she doesn't want me to go in that direction. And my papa put mouth too. My age is totally irrelevant to you, just know I left my father's house when I was as young as 21 and have been doing well ever since. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 6:32pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
lilmax:So you advice i have a strained relationship with those who raised me and cared for me? I am in a delimma here it's not that easy. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by TPound(m): 6:38pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn: But she said she has nothing against them...in what way is she not in support of the relationship? Besides,you only asked your Momma... Is dad's opinion less important? What Mom said was simply that their reasoning might not tally...that word speaks volumes bro.... Why not introduce her to your parents first... Or do you love her because you need a companion? If its true love,other people's opinion don't matter. Think it well bro... Don't create another Edo demon with your heartbreaking logic. My 2cents |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by Nobody: 6:38pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn:I trust you have made up your mind, i respect that but i wish I could tell you how to, but I can't get myself to tell you but to be honest with you find a better excuse to tell her because I fear Edo babes o especially if you have been in a long relationship and the earlier you tell her,the better. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by Decimus: 6:39pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn: You understand your parents. But i think it's your responsibility to convince your parents that people can get along regardless of tribal difference. It depends on the kind of person you are and how much you are willing to hold on to the girl. I could bring a girl home from from one tribe in Zimbabwe, my Dad will just ask me how sure i am about it. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 6:45pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
TPound:Thanks bro |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by TPound(m): 6:49pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by luscioustrish(f): 7:06pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
They haven't completely written her off..If you truly love her it's your duty to make your parents see beyond her tribe. Love wins always. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by yanabasee1(m): 7:14pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
OP, if the said lady is very ok and have good behavior and is delligent, obedience and intelligent, With good character and listens to you. You don't n Ed your family to chose a wife for you. But if she's trouble and have little goodness to hold on to... and if you can manage her, go ahead, if you can't, then quit. In all, marriage is for mature minded people, if you don't know that the first thing you need is a good woman, not a woman chose by your family members but the one you source for yourself and find the apple. Be a man, Be the right man. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 7:17pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
yanabasee1:In your whole analysis you are leaving out how the lady will feel about the whole thing. If I go ahead and marry her, would she be happy feeling like an alien around my family members who might not like her? The truth is that I can't cut off my family, they have been there for me all through the years and I love them. So I think ending the relationship might be better for her own good. Thanks for the advice though. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by yanabasee1(m): 7:26pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn: I had that in mind....But I shifted it, because I thought you didn't discuss the outcome with her.... OP, always try to balance things... Never chose your father and mother over your woman. Your parent took care of you to a certain age, a woman will continue from there till you get old. When you find a good woman. Always try to keep her, and let your family to learn to love her irrespective of her tribe or religion. A good woman is more than a gold. There are somethings you have to keep to yourself as a man...... But since you've detailed that to her.... If I were you, I'd taken her to meet your mother and father first.... Tell your parent that you'd really love them to meet with her before you move in to the next girl. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 8:27pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
0FUKs:It's not all about nacking guy |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by WonderWoman5775(f): 8:33pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Just say you don't love her anymore or you are tired of the relationship, You are just looking for an excuse in a form of advice from us, if the girl was from a wealthy family I'm sure your familiy's opinion wouldn't matter much |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 8:57pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
WonderWoman5775:And who told you the girl is from a poor family? Why are you making baseless assumptions? I asked for advice not banter, if you don't have any advice to give me please move on |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by WonderWoman5775(f): 9:02pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn:Truth is you don't need advice because you don't really love her, cause if you do you wouldn't let tribal difference come in between your union |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 9:04pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
WonderWoman5775:Tribal difference is already coming between the union obviously. It's not as easy as you are making it seem. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by WonderWoman5775(f): 9:41pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Alright then, I hope you sort yourself out, just don't break the lady's heart |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by paulolee(m): 9:48pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
follow your heart and take ur brain along.. 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by marshborn(m): 10:18pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
WonderWoman5775:Sadly it might end with heart break. Can't bring her into a family where she would not feel comfortable. |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by frozen70(f): 10:36pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
marshborn: The earlier you let her know that you will like her to move on with her life without waiting for you, the best for you Learn not to keep a woman dating fir so long and end up telling her stories, it really has psychological effect on them Now you know that your family wants you to pick from your tribe Go back and ask them which of the Igbo states your radar should be focused on If you agree on certain states keep to it 1 Like |
Re: Advice Needed! How Can I Let Her Off Easily? by WonderWoman5775(f): 8:20am On Aug 03, 2020 |
marshborn:Pele, I hope she finds something better, thank God it's has just been 2yrs |
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