Ginaz:
I have a step sister who happens to be my only sibling, who I have shown nothing but love since we were kids. She lives with our dad’s family but has gone to live on her own .

I remembered when we were kids , I would give her money to school, and whatever I have I would give. Shared my toiletries , clothes And would give her sisterly advise, never wanted her to feel down cos my dad never liked her . So whatever my dad gave me I would share with her .

There was an accident that happened and she said “I’m not her sister “. It hurt me so much cos I don’t have any siblings apart from her and thought she had my back .

I forgave her though .

Now the issue is , she had a child out of wedlock. When she put to birth I was supportive, I sent her money. She only Calls me when she needs something from me . If anything is going on she doesn’t confide in me, I am always the last to know .

She doesn’t make me feel like I am needed except when she wants money. Her boyfriend died, she didn’t even let me know, I heard from our grandma after 3months.

I’m so exhausted, I feel like cutting her off. I’m emotionally drained from her lack of concern towards me. Am I at fault for wanting her to include me in her life ? ?

Cut the ties. A step will always be a step especially if the link to the family is the father.

She does not hold you in high esteem

Ginaz:


I’ve told her countless times but she laughs it off.

Well , I will mind my own business. Seems like I’m forcing her . If I had more siblings maybe I wouldn’t been this hurt .

why not tell her how you feel? She probably don't want to trouble you with some issues.
If she had told you that her boyfriend died, what I would you have done. Nonetheless,she is supposed to tell you things but not her entire affairs.
You can cut her off for the time being and observe tho

Ginaz:


I’ve told her countless times but she laughs it off.

Well , I will mind my own business. Seems like I’m forcing her . If I had more siblings maybe I wouldn’t been this hurt .

why not tell her how you feel? She probably don't want to trouble you with some issues.
If she had told you that her boyfriend died, what I would you have done. Nonetheless,she is supposed to tell you things but not her entire affairs.
You can cut her off for the time being and observe tho.

Ginaz:


All I wanted is for her to feel loved. That I have her back no matter what. Well, I’ve tried my best and God knows I mean well . I’m older than her and I’m trying to be the best big sister anyone could ask for but she shuts me out . It hurts.

She doesn’t tell me anything going on in her life till I call. If I don’t call for months she won’t either . But when it comes to money she wakes me up with calls as early as 7.am.

Your efforts are commendable to be honest. But I feel your dad has done too much to her in the past. Staying too close to you and your father may be her way of getting over the past.

Ginaz:


All I wanted is for her to feel loved. That I have her back no matter what. Well, I’ve tried my best and God knows I mean well . I’m older than her and I’m trying to be the best big sister anyone could ask for but she shuts me out . It hurts.

She doesn’t tell me anything going on in her life till I call. If I don’t call for months she won’t either . But when it comes to money she wakes me up with calls as early as 7.am.

Your type gets dealt with. It's a hard world. Forget her. I'm sure she won't think twice to maltreat u or kids. Baba no give am money again jor

So you think your step sister will love you like a sister would? Didn't you state she didn't live with your parents? She may have been jealous of the love and care you received all her life.
Leave her be. Don't expect her to confide in you or anything. If you want to give, give, don't loan. Be careful with her, let you your good heart not lead to your downfall.
Some friends are far better than siblings.

Ginaz:


I’ve told her countless times but she laughs it off.

Well , I will mind my own business. Seems like I’m forcing her . If I had more siblings maybe I wouldn’t been this hurt .

I don't understand how you feel since I've always been surrounded by siblings. But I'd tell you that even siblings, same father and mother can be cruel to their blood, how much more a step sister? You didn't live under the same roof, you lived with your parents, she lived with extended family. She may have grown to hate your mom and you by extension. You never can tell her true intentions towards you.
Leave her be!

Chii59:

I don't understand how you feel since I've always been surrounded by siblings. But I'd tell you that even siblings, same father and mother can be cruel to their blood, how much more a step sister? You didn't live under the same roof, you lived with your parents, she lived with extended family. She may have grown to hate your mom and you by extension. You never can tell her true intentions towards you.
Leave her be!

She didn’t live with my mom . We share same father not mother . She stays with our dad in his town while I in my mom’s town . We stay wide apart not same place .

She just sees me as irrelevant I think.

Acidosis:



Your efforts are commendable to be honest. But I feel your dad has done too much to her in the past. Staying too close to you and your father may be her way of getting over the past.

Our dad is hot tempered and has done things to me but I have forgiven him. Even that my sister has said some things to me too which I forgave .

She keeps malice which I’ve told her to change . If you tell her something, she would keep it in her mind for years to remember you what you said . Infact I can’t type all she has done as it would be too much . Our dad and her don’t agree at all and it’s not my fault .

I only see her when I goes to visit our dad in his town . That’s where she stays even though she live on her own now . She’s 22yrs old and she has made mistakes I’m trying my best to be there for her but the way she treats me like I’m nothing and all my efforts are in vain is very hurting .

I just wanted a sister bond cos when I see my friends and their siblings I get sad and feel this inner emotional pain.

Ginaz:


She didn’t live with my mom . We share same father not mother . She stays with our dad in his town while I in my mom’s town . We stay wide apart not same place .

She just sees me as irrelevant I think.

She doesn't like you that much, if she does at all. See, I'm a lady but I'll say, it's preferable to have a step bro than step sis. Ladies hearts has too many layers.
Just give her space, don't pry, don't be bothered about the details of her life. I believe she's an adult. She can take care of herself. And try to limit the frequency and amount of money you send. I hope you don't feel responsible for her financially. Let it pass a message to her that you are giving her the space, both you and your purse.

Chii59:

She doesn't like you that much, if she does at all. See, I'm a lady but I'll say, it's preferable to have a step bro than step sis. Ladies hearts has too many layers.
Just give her space, don't pry, don't be bothered about the details of her life. I believe she's an adult. She can take care of herself. And try to limit the frequency and amount of money you send. I hope you don't feel responsible for her financially. Let it pass a message to her that you are giving her the space, both you and your purse.

Alright. Thanks dear. I’ve heard . At least I have a childhood friend that has been more than a sister to me .

Ginaz:


Alright. Thanks dear. I’ve heard . At least I have a childhood friend that has been more than a sister to me .

God always has a way of compensating one.
Sometimes we underestimate friends simply because there's no blood link, but some friends are worth more than 5 siblings rolled into one.

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Ginaz:


I’ve told her countless times but she laughs it off.

Well , I will mind my own business. Seems like I’m forcing her . If I had more siblings maybe I wouldn’t been this hurt .

Some people have that irritating behaviour of acting obtuse to how their choices make other people feel. Roles reversed, they wouldn't entertain that. Personally, I refuse to play along as I find it inexcusable.

If you have told her how you feel several times and all she can do is laugh, then you might want to stop being available everytime she comes crawling back. Obviously it's taking a toll on you, no one likes to feel used. I am a blunt person by nature, I would tell it to your face clearly so there are no misunderstanding that, Riskat, you only remember that you have a sister when you need something. I have been nothing but good to you except maybe I did something to you that is unforgiveable. If I have, please tell me today so I know how to make amends but if there is nothing and you still treat me like some frenemy, it's better for you to maintain your lane and I maintain mine. God will look after all of us and I wish you well." Simple.

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Ginaz:


I’ve told her countless times but she laughs it off.

Well , I will mind my own business. Seems like I’m forcing her . If I had more siblings maybe I wouldn’t been this hurt .

You cant force someone to love you if they dont want to love you. You cant force someone to like you, if they dont want to like you. You cant force someone to be close to you if they dont want to be close to you.

I am surprise this hurts you. You have done your best. Leave her alone. Remember you came into this world alone, you will leave alone eventually.

It is not that she hates you but you didnt grow up together and that bond isnt there. You cant force it, you cant buy it, Just live your life and be happy. Your happiness comes first.

I888:
You cant force someone to love you if they dont want to love you. You cant force someone to like you, if they dont want to like you. You cant force someone to be close to you if they dont want to be close to you.

I am surprise this hurts you. You have done your best. Leave her alone. Remember you came into this world alone, you will leave alone eventually.

It is not that she hates you but you didnt grow up together and that bond isnt there. You cant force it, you cant buy it, Just live your life and be happy. Your happiness comes first.

It hurts me , this is my only blood sibling, I wouldn’t have cared much if it wasn’t so. Well thanks for your encouraging words.

Ginaz:


It hurts me , this is my only blood sibling, I wouldn’t have cared much if it wasn’t so. Well thanks for your encouraging words.

Alright. I understand how you feel but these things happen. My half brother is a medical doctor in the U.S. he grew up there and no matter what we did to draw close to him, he never reciprocated. The reason is simple: We didn't grow up with him and we are more or less like aliens to him; no bond and nothing. This we tried for more than 6 years until we gave up and let him be.

Ginaz:


It hurts me , this is my only blood sibling, I wouldn’t have cared much if it wasn’t so. Well thanks for your encouraging words.

Trust me I know how it feels when you truely desire to be united with your sibling but she acts indifferent and unconcerned.

I am currently experiencing the same thing with my elder sister. I tried calling her to order and making her see reasons that we're one family and not enemies but she got angry the more so I kept my distance.

Do not cut her off just let her be and give her the space she craves for. As time goes on you'll discover a friend that sticks closer than a sibling so move on.

kenwills:


Trust me I know how it feels when you truely desire to be united with your sibling but she acts indifferent and unconcerned.

I am currently experiencing the same thing with my elder sister. I tried calling her to order and making her see reasons that we're one family and not enemies but she got angry the more so I kept my distance.

Do not cut her off just let her be and give her the space she craves for. As time goes on you'll discover a friend that sticks closer than a sibling so move on.

I’ve already let her be. All the stuffs I was planning to get her December by God’s grace would give someone else . I won’t even call her to let her know I’ve arrived my dad’s town . The grandkids all meet at my grandparents house yearly cos they are old and lonely so we spend time with them . I don’t want to hear a word about her anymore, nor would I make her life my priority or ask her what’s going on in her life.

I888:
Alright. I understand how you feel but these things happen. My half brother is a medical doctor in the U.S. he grew up there and no matter what we did to draw close to him, he never reciprocated. The reason is simple: We didn't grow up with him and we are more or less like aliens to him; no bond and nothing. This we tried for more than 6 years until we gave up and let him be.

Sorry dear . I and my sister we are close in a way though . Or perhaps I thought wrong .

Ginaz:


Sorry dear . I and my sister we are close in a way though . Or perhaps I thought wrong .

Yeah, you thought wrong. Perhaps, her mother told her something that you may not be aware of. while growing up, was there any time you spent at least some years together in same house?

I888:
Yeah, you thought wrong. Perhaps, her mother told her something that you may not be aware of. while growing up, was there any time you spent at least some years together in same house?

We have spent 5months with each other in the same house and kept in touch yearly while we were kids at my grandparents house. Ate from the same bowl every night. So it’s not like I am starting a bond with her all of a suddenly. We had a family foundation.

Ginaz:


We have spent 5months with each other in the same house and kept in touch yearly while we were kids at my grandparents house. Ate from the same bowl every night. So it’s not like I am starting a bond with her all of a suddenly. We had a family foundation.

I see. But 5 months is kinda short but that notwithstand, it is still a permissible timeframe to build some relatively moderate relationship.

I was expecting to see something like 1 year, though.

Anyway, she may come around. You have tried. Just focus on yourself, build your dreams and goals.

I hope and pray she understand that you mean well for her. The thing is most people rarely see when we are genuinely concerned about them or they don't value those gestures, no matter how humanly geniune, they don't see it. That is why it is best you let her be.

I cant tell you to stop allowing her use you as an ATM options like one who only remembers your existence when she needs money cos you are trying to be a big sister which is good but at the same time, that is not a good sign IMO cos she wont stop doing that as long as you keep allowing her.

Anyway, I need to hug my pillows now. It is 12:57 a.m. Goodnight/goog morning

Am sincerely interested in knowing how far you have gone with your sister.

I could remember whete u said she joined bad friends as a teenager and now she has a child.

Never you leave her, but dont try to suffocate her as you try to be part of her life.

Well i pray and hope you guys have recovered.

Hope to hear from you.

Ginaz:
I have a step sister who happens to be my only sibling, who I have shown nothing but love since we were kids. She lives with our dad’s family but has gone to live on her own .

I remembered when we were kids , I would give her money to school, and whatever I have I would give. Shared my toiletries , clothes And would give her sisterly advise, never wanted her to feel down cos my dad never liked her . So whatever my dad gave me I would share with her .

There was an accident that happened and she said “I’m not her sister “. It hurt me so much cos I don’t have any siblings apart from her and thought she had my back .

I forgave her though .

Now the issue is , she had a child out of wedlock. When she put to birth I was supportive, I sent her money. She only Calls me when she needs something from me . If anything is going on she doesn’t confide in me, I am always the last to know .

She doesn’t make me feel like I am needed except when she wants money. Her boyfriend died, she didn’t even let me know, I heard from our grandma after 3months.

I’m so exhausted, I feel like cutting her off. I’m emotionally drained from her lack of concern towards me. Am I at fault for wanting her to include me in her life ? ?

Ginaz:
I have a step sister who happens to be my only sibling, who I have shown nothing but love since we were kids. She lives with our dad’s family but has gone to live on her own .

I remembered when we were kids , I would give her money to school, and whatever I have I would give. Shared my toiletries , clothes And would give her sisterly advise, never wanted her to feel down cos my dad never liked her . So whatever my dad gave me I would share with her .

There was an accident that happened and she said “I’m not her sister “. It hurt me so much cos I don’t have any siblings apart from her and thought she had my back .

I forgave her though .

Now the issue is , she had a child out of wedlock. When she put to birth I was supportive, I sent her money. She only Calls me when she needs something from me . If anything is going on she doesn’t confide in me, I am always the last to know .

She doesn’t make me feel like I am needed except when she wants money. Her boyfriend died, she didn’t even let me know, I heard from our grandma after 3months.

I’m so exhausted, I feel like cutting her off. I’m emotionally drained from her lack of concern towards me. Am I at fault for wanting her to include me in her life ? ?

In the journey of life and in destiny, you forgive weakness and cut off wickedness. Your step sister is wicked and will do you one if she gets the chance.