OcVoice:
How exactly do you guys manage marriage pressure from family members?

I and my family members had a function together some weeks back and out of the blues my elder sis asked if I don't want to get married.
I told her I want to, but I need to have a confirmed source of income....That how does she expect me to get married when I'm still struggling to even feed.

My in-laws (brother's wife, sister's husband) joined in the discussion. They said I'm coming of age and I need to get married and start having kids so i can train them when I'm still strong and agile, not when I'm much older and weak!
They even opted to support financially when I'm ready! They said marriage brings good things....that i will surely get a job or business when I marry.

They said a whole lot.........like telling me marriage is not when you have it all. My elder brother even said he had nothing when he married his wife.

All talks from left to right was just ringing in my head and making me feel bad, like I purposely don't want to marry. I have no job nor business, not even a gf! The thoughts alone is just tearing me apart! The worse of it all is the pressure from my mom!

So bachelors in the house, how do you suggest I handle this?

Matured responses pls.

JumpByte:




Read my threads. You can make 1 Million Naira after 12 months. And then use it to marry and start a family

thesicilian:
Pressure only gets to you when you allow it to. Telling you that marriage brings good things and that you will surely get a job or business when you marry is one of the greatest scams of the 21st century.

OcVoice:


Thank you.... but you know it's not easy to forget all they said and then act like all's well!

Ahmed0336:
Oga take your time jare.

no woman will want to stay with a job less/broke dude when bills needs to be paid.

strafist911:
Oga one thing you shouldn't forget in this life is: "YOU ARE O.Y.O
It's also better to marry late than marrying the wrong person or @ the wrong time.
Marry when u know and feel it's convenient for you because when sh.it hits the fan, the same people who pushed you to go & marry will still be the ones to tell you that they also have their own problems to deal with.

OcVoice:
How exactly do you guys manage marriage pressure from family members?

I and my family members had a function together some weeks back and out of the blues my elder sis asked if I don't want to get married.
I told her I want to, but I need to have a confirmed source of income....That how does she expect me to get married when I'm still struggling to even feed.

My in-laws (brother's wife, sister's husband) joined in the discussion. They said I'm coming of age and I need to get married and start having kids so i can train them when I'm still strong and agile, not when I'm much older and weak!
They even opted to support financially when I'm ready! They said marriage brings good things....that i will surely get a job or business when I marry.

They said a whole lot.........like telling me marriage is not when you have it all. My elder brother even said he had nothing when he married his wife.

All talks from left to right was just ringing in my head and making me feel bad, like I purposely don't want to marry. I have no job nor business, not even a gf! The thoughts alone is just tearing me apart! The worse of it all is the pressure from my mom!

So bachelors in the house, how do you suggest I handle this?

Matured responses pls.

rhemauni:


First thing first
How old are

Ur age will decide the advice for u.

OcVoice:


40

OcVoice:


40

Ishilove:

It is well.

If you are 40, how come your people are telling you "you are coming of age". How can a man of 40 be coming of age?

Op, I put it to you that this is not your real age.

rhemauni:


U are of age biko, marriage should b in ur priority list now

There is no guarantee u will make it even at 50

Get a productive woman and settle down, to get it cheaper target young single mom or divorced mom with good source of income most of them are lonely n she will kill u with love lol

Ask ur ppl to support you to start a business too

U don't have to spend to marry every lady, some of them esp 35+ na carry go but make sure u get one with good skill, business or working.

OcVoice:


40

thesicilian:
Pressure only gets to you when you allow it to. Telling you that marriage brings good things and that you will surely get a job or business when you marry is one of the greatest scams of the 21st century.

OcVoice:

1) They even opted to support financially when I'm ready! ...They said marriage brings good things.... 2) that i will SURELY get a job or business when I marry.
3) The worse of it all is the pressure from my mom!

1) If you try this, get ready to hate your marriage, your siblings and regret this decision for the rest of your life
2) ..The annoying part of this is that word "SURELY" .....SCAM
3) Of course, she'll pressure you ..she wants to hand over the manipulation to someone else( if you know, you know)...
My advice:
1) Next time she brings marriage talk, Ask her to mention ONE...just ONE thing a married man has that a single man cant get...
2) Erase marriage off your mind man...focus on yourself...there's alot to enjoy in this life
GL

zed7:
I think the Nigerian aim of advice is to pull people into their circle of suffering. Alot of married people are unhappy with their relationships and alot can barely feed their families but will be the first to put pressure on others to get married.

Marriage is a personal thing. I only give advice to people who come for advice and nothing more. Nobody will support you financially when you get married and start struggling to survive.

As for getting blessed when married, I will only assume that the married person makes more effort to make money and saves more because of the added responsibilities. That may explain the fact that he thinks he is getting 'blessed' because of marriage.

OcVoice:


Why would I lie about my age? What exactly would I gain by lieing? Check my recent thread before this! I am 40.

Ishilove:

Okay. You are of age indeed. In short, your Nairaland brothers will call you midnight newspaper.

Be that as it may, you can't support a family when you have no means so it is time to go for deliverance from the spirit of delay and stagnancy. You're a Catholic, yes? I believe there are charismatic groups in the church that can give you advice.

OcVoice:


40

roughdiamond:
Personally, the pressure to get married is coming from myself. Everyone in my family including my younger brother is married with a child. I have been searching too but genotype and dealing with Nigerian girls are frustrating my efforts.(90% of the girls I have met don't know what they want). By God's grace, I must get married on/before next year.
Op, please start something doing no matter how small. You can start with little services. Don't look at your certificate, age, environment or what people will say. Make sure you marry a working class with understanding. My sister is the breadwinner in her family and they are very comfortable and peaceful.