Amotolongbo:
If you really love your son, and wish to see him being successful in life, reap the labor you sowed on him then better you let your son be with you and raise him by yourself.

Let your son see and know his father for future sake, but let the son continue being with you. Like you said, the father has always been promising and failing, won’t that same man fail to raise the son in the right way you want?
Fatherly responsibility is an act, the man may not be in the state of being responsible for now. Probably due to his financial capability or naturally being determined not to be responsible.

Every son needs a father figure in his life, not just a father but a responsible one. If the man appears responsible later while bringing the child up, you may send him to the father o. But for now, continue to strive to make ends meet for the son ma.

Men like that are bad, they will just come after the “soup is done” to claim ownership of the son they didn’t labor on

Senoritaluvy:
He feels so relax because I'm doing everything. Paying school fees, Taking care of him all round without his contributions.

Senoritaluvy:
Thanks for all the advice. I will gather courage, take him out for shopping and Tavel with him to his father. I'm emotionally so down because I've never been apart from my son.

LadySarah:


Fast fast. Alternate. Holidays to him, school period he stays with you.Send the school acc no to him. If he cries for money pls cry too. Every male child needs a fatherly figure pls.

If you want be doing it all alone. He will continue to be laid back. When he grows, the father will now come and claim fatherly role and want to reap where he didn't sow.

Don't even send him to any relative before they will turn the boy to a help.

Graxie, pls come.

Palema007:
people have kids and they make pointless sacrifices, it do not always end as they plan. Mothers can make sacrifices for their kids but they shouldn't always

Maneq:

Because you have sense. Just because you have sense. I reduce it to 600 years

JoshOxborn:
Don't make any stupid mistake to return him to his irresponsible father or else you want him to suffer and because rebellious. [b]My mother almost did the same but I thank God she didn't do it. That would have been her greatest [/b]mistake. I thank God for my mother! She's the greatest person in my life.

Senoritaluvy:
But did you grow up a loving person not hating your father?
Not returning him to his father, but taking hime to him to spending little time to get to know each other. I just need that man in his son's life.

Senoritaluvy:
But did you grow up a loving person not hating your father?
Not returning him to his father, but taking hime to him to spending little time to get to know each other. I just need that man in his son's life.

Amotolongbo:
If you really love your son, and wish to see him being successful in life, reap the labor you sowed on him, it is better you let your son be with you and raise him by yourself.

The best way to raise children is having both parents together, but if there is a separation between the father and the mother, it is always good for the children/child to be in the custody of the mother.

Let your son see and know his father for future sake, but let the son continue being with you. Like you said, the father has always been promising and failing, won’t that same man fail to raise the son in the right way you want?
Fatherly responsibility is an act, the man may not be in the state of being responsible for now. Probably due to his financial capability or naturally being determined not to be responsible.

Every son needs a father figure in his life, not just a father but a responsible one. If the man appears responsible later while bringing the child up, you may send him to the father o. But for now, continue to strive to make ends meet for the son ma.

Men like that are bad, they will just come after the “soup is done” to claim ownership of the son they didn’t labor on

LadySarah:


Of course he didn't or can't you see that he calls his father irresponsible. It means he still bears heavy grudge.
What you are doing is good. Fostering that healthy male rshp is important.

Even if doesn't go well. Atleast you tried and nobody will blame you in the future but I pray it goes well.
My neighbor is bonding with his 15yrold daughter who he met for the 1st time.

Dainy1:
Thank God you said 15yrs. @op baby is just 7yrs.

Senoritaluvy:
But did you grow up a loving person not hating your father?
Not returning him to his father, but taking hime to him to spending little time to get to know each other. I just need that man in his son's life.

Senoritaluvy:
But did you grow up a loving person not hating your father?
Not returning him to his father, but taking hime to him to spending little time to get to know each other. I just need that man in his son's life.

JoshOxborn:


yeah i hate my father! He's most irresponsible man i have ever seen. A lazy full grown ass man who can't take care of his children. He can't even feed us alone that he had to take me and my younger brother to eat at his Elder sister house, he never he bought me a single cloth or pay my school fees, I'm sure if i grow up living with him, I will a rebellious Yahoo boy. My mother is so loving, she provided almost everything i ever wanted! Few weeks ago when i returned back to my mother's place after spending 7months with him, I didn't call him or send my regards to him. He was furious i didn't call him, so he started bluffing and saying gibberish. What made me hate that stupid man is that he told us "if he dies now, he won't will his uncompleted house to us." His house is not even worth it but the way he decided to give his only property to his wife over us. That shows how irresponsible he is. This same man never send an child support to my mother for 15years.

Mothers are best! No woman should give his child to back to his ex-husband, I'm sure that child will go rebellious and will be maltreated my his stepmother.

Dainy1:
Why begging him to love his own son? If he doesn't, what's the point of taking the innocent boy to him to suffer?
Most Nigerian father's are useless.

Maneq:

Because you have sense. Just because you have sense. I reduce it to 600 years

JoshOxborn:


yeah i hate my father! He's most irresponsible man i have ever seen. A lazy full grown ass man who can't take care of his children. He can't even feed us alone that he had to take me and my younger brother to eat at his Elder sister house, he never he bought me a single cloth or pay my school fees, I'm sure if i grow up living with him, I will a rebellious Yahoo boy. My mother is so loving, she provided almost everything i ever wanted! Few weeks ago when i returned back to my mother's place after spending 7months with him, I didn't call him or send my regards to him. He was furious i didn't call him, so he started bluffing and saying gibberish. What made me hate that stupid man is that he told us "if he dies now, he won't will his uncompleted house to us." His house is not even worth it but the way he decided to give his only property to his wife over us. That shows how irresponsible he is. This same man never send an child support to my mother for 15years.

Mothers are best! No woman should give his child to back to his ex-husband, I'm sure that child will go rebellious and will be maltreated my his stepmother.

Dainy1:
Why begging him to love his own son? If he doesn't, what's the point of taking the innocent boy to him to suffer?
Most Nigerian father's are useless.

SmileDance:
Op, what if the boy's father is dead? Because from what you described I think the man is just as good as dead

Senoritaluvy:
I talked with him today about his son spending some time with him before school resumes and he said it's fine.
The guy has no job, but I don't mind. Even if it's gari he's going to feed my son, he can go ahead. I want my son to get to know them more, be used to that environment. Probably, learn their language.


This is one of the greatest thing in my life, I want to give a try.
One thought wants me to let my son go and another can't just stop worrying if he's going to be alright.
Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement.

LadySarah:


Of course he didn't or can't you see that he calls his father irresponsible. It means he still bears heavy grudge.
What you are doing is good. Fostering that healthy male rshp is important.

Even if doesn't go well. Atleast you tried and nobody will blame you in the future but I pray it goes well.
My neighbor is bonding with his 15yrold daughter who he met for the 1st time.

Luak:
Let your son's father indicate genuine interest in wanting to take responsibility for his child's well-being before you start exposing your child to what you'll regret later. Best wishes

Dainy1:

@op, you see the above comment, read it severally and make use of it.
A man who does not care for 7yrs can not do that just of a sudden. Your boy will suffer. What you should do is, look for human rights and involve them.
Today I looked backward and I thank God for my mother, she did all to make sure my elder brother and I had a good life. When I lost my father yrs ago, I felt nothing, because he was never there for us. See my dear life is wide. You feel all these because no man is truly in your life loving you and your son yet, but trust me, that man will come.