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How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Chiagozieking: 11:12pm On Nov 02, 2020
RavagedHeart:
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.
Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.
All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.
When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.
Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.
After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.
Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.
What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.
One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirm it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.
The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.
When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the rain like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying for the heartbreak, she seemed very happy unconcerned seeing me in that state.
This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.
One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.
This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.
I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.
Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.
After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help my self. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.

Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.

Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?
It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday. cry cry


Mods please. Let this get the maximum exposure

Redpill is the answer, that's what you need papi, it's going to heal you, have some faith papi..
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by topsquino(m): 1:29am On Nov 04, 2020
RavagedHeart:
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.
Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.
All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.
When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.
Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.
After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.
Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.
What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.
One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirm it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.
The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.
When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the rain like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying for the heartbreak, she seemed very happy unconcerned seeing me in that state.
This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.
One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.
This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.
I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.
Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.
After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help my self. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.

Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.

Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?
It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday. cry cry


Mods please. Let this get the maximum exposure

Hi

I'm too tired to type right now, but you can send me a PM so that I can give you a call and explain how you can get out of this misery.

All is well.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Africangiants(m): 1:30pm On Nov 04, 2020
Most people get into a relationship just because they are now of age and do not have a reason to be in love or fall out of love. Being responsible in a relationship/marriage as a man or being the icing of the relationship on a steady is what a lady should be on the lookout for. You cannot just be all about sex and styles and how lasting you can be on bed or what you can receive on bed alone. There are values that makes the world a better place for both families and friends. Start by asking the right questions and you will do your self a gigantic favor in your relationship. Lets kick it off with these simple questions, shall we.....comment below if you have a question you think should be added and hit me up if you need anything at all, monetry wise or relationship wise


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az1WNgEtC1o
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Bonnyegg: 4:16pm On Nov 13, 2020
RavagedHeart:


It's over 18months now but total healing still seems far from me. More often I still feel like a totalled car. Rage, and regret has gone down. I'm now trying to find the vibrant me that I used to know.

It will take time, but you'll be fine
Go away
Delete her pictures
Delete her number
Take away her belongings
Do away with anything of hers
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Hassanmaye(m): 7:19am On Dec 24, 2020
Offpoint:
I doubt if you were created by God, the amount of stupidity abound in your write up is astonishing.... No no I can't deal with this
grin grin

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Hassanmaye(m): 7:23am On Dec 24, 2020
proclinician:
Here is the solution.
wickedness grin
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Magnoliaa(f): 5:02pm On Dec 24, 2020
Hah. I've gotten my confirmation, so I guess I can make this judgment without being guilty of falsity: the writer seem to me like the typical hard guy. Because ollof you writing epistles--wah makes you think the OP was ignorant of such details and rules? (You thought you were ddon, the catch that can *bed* any woman you like. You weren't tied down as long as you got the goOd wOmAn who gives you other things.)

You sound knowledgeable and f**lish at the same time (no oofeinse). Why? You're not disputing, or reacting to or even curious about the red pills they are spilling upandan. I figured you knew. You just nefa expererred loff to do you strong tin. Chai. I hail my Wonder Women Menstruators, catching the wisest men unaware.

Who knows if you're a resident alfa pillar here, sef.

Ah dun have any advice for you oh. I just commented for the sake of it, ni.

I'm sure your geng will come around to crowdfunding an elevation pitch to getting you out of where you've dug yourself into.

And this is not to say I'm mocking or invalidating you oh... I juss kent strhess myself. I believe you will be alright.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 12:00pm On Mar 04, 2021
Magnoliaa:
Hah. I've gotten my confirmation, so I guess I can make this judgment without being guilty of falsity: the writer seem to me like the typical hard guy. Because ollof you writing epistles--wah makes you think the OP was ignorant of such details and rules? (You thought you were ddon, the catch that can *bed* any woman you like. You weren't tied down as long as you got the goOd wOmAn who gives you other things.)

You sound knowledgeable and f**lish at the same time (no oofeinse). Why? You're not disputing, or reacting to or even curious about the red pills they are spilling upandan. I figured you knew. You just nefa expererred loff to do you strong tin. Chai. I hail my Wonder Women Menstruators, catching the wisest men unaware.

Who knows if you're a resident alfa pillar here, sef.

Ah dun have any advice for you oh. I just commented for the sake of it, ni.

I'm sure your geng will come around to crowdfunding an elevation pitch to getting you out of where you've dug yourself into.

And this is not to say I'm mocking or invalidating you oh... I juss kent strhess myself. I believe you will be alright.

I can't think of any greater subtle mockery than what you just wrote (it's well expected). But all the same, I've learnt my lessons the hard way and I take full responsibility of my grand foolishness and self sabotage.
I'm naturally redpilled (just not to the level I found here after my fall). But I never applied all that with her, because I took her as my relative somewhat.

You can show your glee as much as you want. It's a normal experience for every fallen man. sad
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 12:05pm On Mar 04, 2021
To all that reached out to me through voice calls and chats. I immensely appreciate all your efforts and words of encouragements.
When I dig myself out of shame you all will hear from me, probably a face-to-face cool
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by ruffkenny: 5:27pm On Mar 04, 2021
Op u have made the mistake already,try and receive sense,u wasted a good Money on her,any money spent on a woman is a waste,u wasted your job,wasted your time on someone who is not worth it,she used u to get polished knowing fully well she will dump u at any time,u have made ur self so little before her,that's why she is showing u no mercy by watching u suffer,grow up and get healed by developing Yourself,channel your energy to your life,interests,dreams,job,start saving and keeping money,invest in yourself,read,dress well,do everything wonderful for yourself to get ur life back on track..life goes on and women will always bring these shit to those who love them so let her go,let her be,she is not worth your tears,sadness,pains and sorrows..don't think of the money u have lost on her in the past but plan on the money coming in to be creative with it,and don't rush into any relationship,allow love to find u by been patient,stop saying time is not on ur side,what is most important is for u to find happiness..pick yourself up bro!!
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 8:28pm On Mar 04, 2021
ruffkenny:
Op u have made the mistake already,try and receive sense,u wasted a good Money on her,any money spent on a woman is a waste,u wasted your job,wasted your time on someone who is not worth it,she used u to get polished knowing fully well she will dump u at any time,u have made ur self so little before her,that's why she is showing u no mercy by watching u suffer,grow up and get healed by developing Yourself,channel your energy to your life,interests,dreams,job,start saving and keeping money,invest in yourself,read,dress well,do everything wonderful for yourself to get ur life back on track..life goes on and women will always bring these shit to those who love them so let her go,let her be,she is not worth your tears,sadness,pains and sorrows..don't think of the money u have lost on her in the past but plan on the money coming in to be creative with it,and don't rush into any relationship,allow love to find u by been patient,stop saying time is not on ur side,what is most important is for u to find happiness..pick yourself up bro!!

Getting my life back has been a work in progress ever since. I wouldn't say I'm satisfied with my progress so far. Not just about the money, but finding that old me that I used to know.
It seemed like the old me died and another person spawned in replacement. It's like starting self-discovery afresh and It's more like a struggle this time.

However, I have decided to live by the moment and accept that some damages can not be fixed.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by ruffkenny: 4:48am On Mar 05, 2021
Yes bro,that is the best u can do for yourself,don't be deceived by people's fake life on social media,we all are struggling with one thing or the other,such is life,everyone on earth has s few days and these days are full of struggle,people might pretend and hide theirs but that doesn't change the fact that inwardly they still have what they struggle with cos no life is perfect..The reason I deviated a bit is for u to know u must face your reality now,accept things the way they are,however cold or low and strife for a better u,love yourself more now and validate yourself so u won't need any girl to be the one to make u feel better,bring back that old passion that made u live in confidence before,don't let that fire quench,is it music that did it for u before?
get back to it,is it hanging out with friends? Just do it, do those things u were doing before that made u feel good with yourself and never get tired of self discovery cos we continue to do that till we die,that's the reason we live..
RavagedHeart:


Getting my life back has been a work in progress ever since. I wouldn't say I'm satisfied with my progress so far. Not just about the money, but finding that old me that I used to know.
It seemed like the old me died and another person spawned in replacement. It's like starting self-discovery afresh and It's more like a struggle this time.

However, I have decided to live by the moment and accept that some damages can not be fixed.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 8:26am On Mar 05, 2021
ruffkenny:
Yes bro,that is the best u can do for yourself,don't be deceived by people's fake life on social media,we all are struggling with one thing or the other,such is life,everyone on earth has s few days and these days are full of struggle,people might pretend and hide theirs but that doesn't change the fact that inwardly they still have what they struggle with cos no life is perfect..The reason I deviated a bit is for u to know u must face your reality now,accept things the way they are,however cold or low and strife for a better u,love yourself more now and validate yourself so u won't need any girl to be the one to make u feel better, bring back that old passion that made u live in confidence before,don't let that fire quench,is it music that did it for u before?
get back to it,is it hanging out with friends? Just do it, do those things u were doing before that made u feel good with yourself and never get tired of self discovery
cos we continue to do that till we die,that's the reason we live..

Now the bolded is where I have problem. My fire has gone so cold that nothing really interests me anymore. All the things I'm passionate about in the past now almost disgust me. I lost interest in every and practically forcing myself through everyday living.
I feel very dissatisfied with everything, even when they're not really bad. I'm just so messed up right now and in continuous struggle to keep my life under control. angry
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by ruffkenny: 9:29am On Mar 05, 2021
A lot of People go through this phase where nothing makes sense anymore,where they go through so much hurt and depression as a result of a heartbreak but then this should not be u,I was just in your shoes years back when I walked in on my gf and best friend,I couldn't believe it,one minute did not feel real the next it was true,2 people I loved so much! I contemplated suicide as an option but my love for my mum stopped me,I couldnt afford to fail my mum,she did everything for me to stand on my feet so that love made me never to go on that lane and besides I happen to red stuffs written here by Red pillers,that helped me go through the pain victoriously,look for stuffs written by ubunju a guy on this nairaland,it will help u,u need to face reality and see the female folks as what they truly are my brother..And find sth to live for cos a man who has nothing to live for is not fit to live,women will always be women with their manipulative and deceptive nature,but don't let that ruin or define your life..Cos u are better than this,the cheap slut is not even worth it,I know u don't want to hear that, u have no right loosing your interest that's the only thing that will keep u sane..
RavagedHeart:


Now the bolded is where I have problem. My fire has gone so cold that nothing really interests me anymore. All the things I'm passionate about in the past now almost disgust me. I lost interest in every and practically forcing myself through everyday living.
I feel very dissatisfied with everything, even when they're not really bad. I'm just so messed up right now and in continuous struggle to keep my life under control. angry
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 10:37am On Mar 05, 2021
ruffkenny:
A lot of People go through this phase where nothing makes sense anymore,where they go through so much hurt and depression as a result of a heartbreak but then this should not be u,I was just in your shoes years back when I walked in on my gf and best friend,I couldn't believe it,one minute did not feel real the next it was true,2 people I loved so much! I contemplated suicide as an option but my love for my mum stopped me,I couldnt afford to fail my mum,she did everything for me to stand on my feet so that love made me never to go on that lane and besides I happen to red stuffs written here by Red pillers,that helped me go through the pain victoriously,look for stuffs written by ubunju a guy on this nairaland,it will help u,u need to face reality and see the female folks as what they truly are my brother..And find sth to live for cos a man who has nothing to live for is not fit to live,women will always be women with their manipulative and deceptive nature,but don't let that ruin or define your life..Cos u are better than this,the cheap slut is not even worth it,I know u don't want to hear that, u have no right loosing your interest that's the only thing that will keep u sane..

Yeah. I've been on many red pill thread here on nairaland. I still find it hard to ignore my regrets for doing this to myself. I know I'm a million times better than this, that's why I feel so dissatisfied.
I'll keep trying harder to purge my heart of the bad energy she injected in me, so I could at least keep my head straight and enjoy life as before.
My current girlfriend always complain she doesn't understand my kind of person, that I seem odd. I just laugh and shake my head.
Family love and the encouragements I got from people here is what kept me away from suicide at some point. Since I could survive that phase, I can survive this phase too.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by ruffkenny: 12:17pm On Mar 05, 2021
Don't be so hard on yourself,enough of the critics you given to yourself, Time they say heals the wounds,pray more now,listen to music more especially gospel music ie if u are a Christian, I have some simple steps I would have shared with u that is very easy to overcome disappointment and regret, is a pity I can't share it here in a public forum cos it might sound weird and odd..But While purging yourself of every bad energy she instilled in you,delete every memory of her from ur head and heart,remove every guilt too that u feel about ur past escapes and the female chats,,..Your ex only used that as a tool to pry on your conscience and inflict u drastically so it will be as if the break up was your fault,she had it planned out cos she knew of the sex before and it wasn't a problem,she only waited for the right time to strike on your intelligence.. U were very predictable to her that's why,this heart ache was given to u for a lesson so u don't repeat same in your current relationship,giving heed to regrets will only attract more situations to regret,so let all regrets go,let the hurts go,let the money and time u wasted go,let it all go,forgive yourself for your mistakes, accept yourself even in this worse state,no one can do this better for u but u,.. Fall in love at your own peril,let her be the one to love u..
RavagedHeart:


Yeah. I've been on many red pill thread here on nairaland. I still find it hard to ignore my regrets for doing this to myself. I know I'm a million times better than this, that's why I feel so dissatisfied.
I'll keep trying harder to purge my heart of the bad energy she injected in me, so I could at least keep my head straight and enjoy life as before.
My current girlfriend always complain she doesn't understand my kind of person, that I seem odd. I just laugh and shake my head.
Family love and the encouragements I got from people here is what kept me away from suicide at some point. Since I could survive that phase, I can survive this phase too.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 1:42pm On Mar 05, 2021
ruffkenny:
Don't be so hard on yourself,enough of the critics you given to yourself, Time they say heals the wounds,pray more now,listen to music more especially gospel music ie if u are a Christian, I have some simple steps I would have shared with u that is very easy to overcome disappointment and regret, is a pity I can't share it here in a public forum cos it might sound weird and odd..But While purging yourself of every bad energy she instilled in you,delete every memory of her from ur head and heart,remove every guilt too that u feel about ur past escapes and the female chats,,..Your ex only used that as a tool to pry on your conscience and inflict u drastically so it will be as if the break up was your fault,she had it planned out cos she knew of the sex before and it wasn't a problem,she only waited for the right time to strike on your intelligence.. U were very predictable to her that's why,this heart ache was given to u for a lesson so u don't repeat same in your current relationship,giving heed to regrets will only attract more situations to regret,so let all regrets go,let the hurts go,let the money and time u wasted go,let it all go,forgive yourself for your mistakes, accept yourself even in this worse state,no one can do this better for u but u,.. Fall in love at your own peril,let her be the one to love u..

Maybe you can still share the odd stuff here and delete it after a few hours, when I must have copied it. Or I can send you a PM so you share through email.

It's true. She took a long time planning. She discussed it for a long time with her bad friends, who suggested it to her in the first place. The same set of celebrity wannabees that will always come home with her to eat my food and ask me for transport while going back. I wouldn't have suspected they're planning against me behind my back.

See. If I tell the unfiltered version of this tale, even you might be vexed to punch me.

Like I said before. I'm learning to accept my new state and enjoy what is left of me, while still trying to be better.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by vheckthor1: 7:00pm On Mar 05, 2021
RavagedHeart:
I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say

It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.
Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.
All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.
When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.
Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.
Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.
After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.
Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.
What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.
One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirm it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.
The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.
When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the rain like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying for the heartbreak, she seemed very happy unconcerned seeing me in that state.
This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.
One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.
This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.
I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.
Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.
After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help my self. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.

Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.

Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?
It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday. cry cry


Mods please. Let this get the maximum exposure

Lies from the pit of hell
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 7:59pm On Mar 05, 2021
vheckthor1:


Lies from the pit of hell

The old me wouldn't have believed such story if I read it about someone else. But to think someone of my kind would find interest in telling fake story of myself is rather absorb.

THIS IS MY TRUE LIFE LOVE STORY. You can decide not to believe it, but don't call me a lier. angry

Maybe when something similar happens to you, then you'll have a change in your perception.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Magnoliaa(f): 2:49pm On Mar 06, 2021
RavagedHeart:


I can't think of any greater subtle mockery than what you just wrote (it's well expected). But all the same, I've learnt my lessons the hard way and I take full responsibility of my grand foolishness and self sabotage.
I'm naturally redpilled (just not to the level I found here after my fall). But I never applied all that with her, because I took her as my relative somewhat.

You can show your glee as much as you want. It's a normal experience for every fallen man. sad
Seems you think you know me for you to say my 'subtle mockery' was expected. Your writing style/tone is so similar to and indicative as well of... but I'm not bothering my little head figuring anything out. Na your ish as you dey hide behind monickers as I'm right about your kind of person.

I just simply am indifferent... who cares about being happy over whatever happens to you? If you like be blackpilled. Mtcheew.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 3:32pm On Mar 06, 2021
Magnoliaa:

Seems you think you know me for you to say my 'subtle mockery' was expected. Your writing style/tone is so similar to and indicative as well of... but I'm not bothering my little head figuring anything out. Na your ish as you dey hide behind monickers as I'm right about your kind of person.

I just simply am indifferent... who cares about being happy over whatever happens to you? If you like be blackpilled. Mtcheew.


I don't think I know because I'm sure I don't. I said it's expected because I know how things go on nairaland. You are not right about anything. I'm one of the most silent observers here. So, don't assume in your claimed little head that you know anything about me.

....and who cares if you care or not? What will I do with it? I think you should look elsewhere if you are looking for someone to rub off your slime on. sad sad
Just look at your kind of person undecided
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by bluefilm: 7:54pm On Mar 06, 2021
RavagedHeart:
[s][b]I had to create a new account for this thread. Please try to read everything, so you would know what to say[/b]It's been more than a year now, but I still hurt badly. I entered a relationship with this girl when I was in my 200L and she was still a jambite. She was beautiful, but it didn't show because she was suffering at that time. I was equally a handsome campus guy. Everything was fine between us and the journey was so sweet. In her, I found all the important things I needed in a relationship, and the love blossomed. Though she's got her bad sides, which is pride and stubbornness. I overlooked this believing love conquers all. At some point, I began to give her a third of my upkeep every month.Fast forward to early last year, she was already in her final year. One thing led to another and we had to cohabit, and this required me to move to the state she schools. I quit my job in my state and focused on getting something better in the Internet space, and it worked for me. The whole arrangement felt like it was made in heaven. We lived happily like in the movies and more money was starting to flow in.All this while, everything I earned was channeled to seeing her through the university, as she's got almost no financial support from her home. I'll say I was her provider 85% of the time all through her school days.When I got the big job online that paid roughly $1,500 per month, money became surplus. I began to polish and furnish her with everything she needs to look good. She responded well to the spending and within months she dressed and looked like the daughter of a politician. During all this time, I never thought to invest or even polish myself to look better. I was only focused on her happiness.Before we began to cohabit, I had some girls I do with, because of the distance between my state of residence and her school. Besides, she is not the type that fancies sex. Because she knows she's not giving me enough shots (like once in 4months), she doesn't make serious quarrel when she finds out I am doing other girls.Within a few weeks of staying together, she asked me to stop sleeping around, that she's not comfortable with that anymore. She said I should leave all my girls that she would give me anything I want from a girl. I was convinced and that was what I even wanted all along. Cheating has never been my ideal. So, I left all my girls and clung to her. We both agreed to marry and everything was good, at least for a while.After two months of this faithful arrangement, and about 3months into my dream job. Something happened.Out of curiosity, she went searching through my phone and reading all my chats with other girls. She did this for weeks especially when I'm asleep after some shots.What she found in her search made her believe I was still dating one of the girls.One morning, she broke up with me saying that I still cheat on her. She broke up a 5years relationship. I tried to explain and make her understand her assumptions are wrong. I even called the accused girl in her presence with the phone on speaker and asked her to tell my girlfriend my position in her life. The accused girl confirmed it to her that we are now just casual friends and nothing more than that. But my girlfriend didn't believe that. She changed overnight. She began to disrespect me she stopped doing anything with me and even left the house and stayed where I believe is her girlfriend's place (though not sure). I took her as my everything and when she left, my whole life crumbled before my eyes. I turned from a vibrant intelligent and happy lad, into a depressed, unproductive, and confused person.The emotional blast caused me to lose concentration and I began to make mistakes with my job. I woke up one morning to see a sack email sitting in my inbox. This was the second blast and at that moment I wished I could die. Everything that made me happy was no more with me, and I cried most of the time.When she comes home to take clean clothes and drop dirty ones, she'll just walk in and out of the room like I wasn't there. Even when it's written all over me that I was dying from the heartbreak, she seemed very happy and unconcerned seeing me in that state.This went on for like 5months. During this time. She still comes home only to eat the food I cooked and to change her clothes, after that she's gone again. At some point I noticed a little remorse in her as she began to come home more frequently, but her pride won't allow her talk to me, not to talk of apologise.One day I thought I should apologize for doing nothing. I called her to come home. She came home that evening and I asked her to forgive anything I did to annoy her and come back to me. She reluctantly accepted with the clause of no more sex and no extreme romance. I objected to this because I can't stay without doing something once in a while. She said that I'm not yet serious, packed some clothes and left the house. She never talked to me except she needs money which I still gave, thinking it would bring her back. But I thought wrong.This was how it went on till I went bankrupt and completely broken.I continued trying to get her back as that seemed to be the only thing that can restore life to the creature I have become. But the more I tried, the more I was burnt.Because she's now polished and looking the path, she began rolling with very rich men as some used to drop her off with exotic cars when she comes to pick clean clothes. When I try asking she'd tell me he's just asked her out but nothing is happening.After one year of suffering from heartbreak induced depression. I decided to help myself. I began to pick up girls again, I tried having a lot of sex, but it only helped for a moment. No matter how good my new girls are, and how well they do the do. No one seemed to fill that hole in me. I still hurt and I'm still depressed.Fast forward to this day. She's gone, my money and dream job also gone. But the hurt and emotional damage remain. I had to go back to my family house as my finance doesn't permit me paying rent, and my new business is not receiving the best of efforts.Now the problem is. How do I move on? How do I get to heal? How do I find the vibrant and happy me that once was? How do I erase her memory so I can find love again? How do I become a man again because time is no longer surplus like that for me?It's been more than a year but I still feel betrayed and broken, as if it all happened yesterday. cry cryMods please. Let this get the maximum exposure[/s]

I have no kind words at all for SIMPs.

Nonsense. angry
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 8:42pm On Mar 06, 2021
bluefilm:


I have no kind words at all for SIMPs.

Nonsense. angry

Most people were simps at some point. One swallow doesn't make a summer. undecided undecided
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Magnoliaa(f): 9:59pm On Mar 06, 2021


I don't think I know because I'm sure I don't. I said it's expected because I know how things go on nairaland. You are not right about anything. I'm one of the most silent observers here. So, don't assume in your claimed little head that you know anything about me.

....and who cares if you care or not? What will I do with it? I think you should look elsewhere if you are looking for someone to rub off your slime on. sad sad
Just look at your kind of person undecided

So much projections, dear Lord. You know how things go on Nairaland but Magy's response, of all the comments and insults on this thread, is the greatest example of subtle mockery you can think of? And saying my kind of person is 'gleeful and wants to rub slime off another' isn't personal? Lol.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Nobody: 10:02pm On Mar 06, 2021
RavagedHeart:


Most people were simps at some point. One swallow doesn't make a summer. undecided undecided

Lord give me the strength to change the things I can & accept the things I cannot change.

man up and see it as a phase, a phase you had to go thru to make you a better man.

Make sure you heal completely and be re-born as the son of the RED PILL.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 6:44am On Mar 07, 2021
ILovebigyansh:


Lord give me the strength to change the things I can & accept the things I cannot change.

man up and see it as a phase, a phase you had to go thru to make you a better man.

Make sure you heal completely and be re-born as the son of the RED PILL.

The bolded sums up everything that I need. Thanks
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by RavagedHeart: 9:24am On Mar 07, 2021
Magnoliaa:


So much projections, dear Lord. You know how things go on Nairaland but Magy's response, of all the comments and insults on this thread, is the greatest example of subtle mockery you can think of? And saying my kind of person is 'gleeful and wants to rub slime off another' isn't personal? Lol.

I didn't take anything personal. Or what's your point exactly?
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Nobody: 9:31am On Mar 07, 2021
RavagedHeart:


The bolded sums up everything that I need. Thanks

+ Red pill.
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Nobody: 1:22pm On Mar 07, 2021
RavagedHeart:


I've tried all that. But it's still too hard to move on because I already built my life around this girl.

Na to use strong juju hit her be that na. You nor get problem bro
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Nobody: 1:45pm On Mar 07, 2021
RavagedHeart:

Yes, she may be young. But nothing close to a runs girl and I don't think she was doing with anyone during those times.
Me that was doing with other girls wasn't on her license. She gets mad whenever she finds out, but never makes big quarrels. Maybe because she knows she's not there to do it.
So, it's not like we're in an open relationship. We were in a serious relationship and I trust she wasn't dating another. Although some very rich men use to come around her.

You are a fool. You think say you dey wise. You are a mumu man

Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Nobody: 1:55pm On Mar 07, 2021
RavagedHeart:


I've made my mistakes. But no one deserves a heartbreak.

The reason for this thread is to gather encouragement to help me heal.

Heart break doesn't last more than 6 mo this at Most. But this your own done reach 2 years. You pass simp sef
Re: How Do I Escape This Ravaging After-blast Effect by Nobody: 1:58pm On Mar 07, 2021
RavagedHeart:
She's been with me all the time that I cheated. 2months after I stopped cheating then she broke up with me.
Sometimes I think she left because I stopped cheating on her

Yes, this is a part of it. You stopped making her feel like she was replaceable. You also failed by spending heavily on her. You suppose lace her with strong love portion.

But forget her sha. She go dey regret now cause the men them go fuckkk her and dump her tire.

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