Good morning nairalanders,
I have been unable to sleep for the past few weeks now due to the problem I am facing at the moment.
I proposed to my girlfriend that I av dated for two plus years now and she said yes but my family have refused to support my decision to marry her due to her father's reputation of being diabolical and extremely wicked.
The man in question has been separated from my girl and her mom since she was little(abt 5yrs old). My siblings really love the girl as she is very homely and loves my family the way I do, but ever since I proposed to her, talks abt the spiritual consequences of marrying her has been flying about.
Please I need ur advise, thanks




P.s: we are from the same village and u know in an Igbo community, you have to go to her father's to seek for her hand in marriage irregardless of her parents separation

U matter dey one kind........

As long as my parents are not talking out of personal gain or selfishness.....I always follow their advice.....from my personal experience, karma always find a way of using my parents’ advice that I ddnt follow to treat my fvck up......

Besides, one thing I will never do is go against my parents becos of chic wey I meet for street...

If you love your self you had better stay away from that lady,when you are getting married to a lady you also marry the entire family which means you are exposed to their ways,past and also karma...I know it's going to be hard letting go but it's best you listen to your people's advise and get someone else.

Another point is that that if anything negative happens after your marriage you yourself would immediately start nursing the thoughts that it might have been a Karma from your father inlaw's past which would make you gradually resent your wife and might also later destroy the marriage...I am married and quite experienced just so you know...My 2cents to you...All the best in your decision.

If you think you have a really good girl and you really love her, you will have her back, now that she needs you more than ever before.

segemafia:
If you love your self you had better stay away from that lady,when you are getting married to a lady you also marry the entire family which means you are exposed to their ways,past and also karma...I know it's going to be hard letting go but it's best you listen to your people's advise and get someone else.

Another point is that that if anything negative happens after your marriage you yourself would immediately start nursing the thoughts that it might have been a Karma from your father inlaw's past which would make you gradually resent your wife and might also later destroy the marriage...I am married and quite experienced just so you know...My 2cents to you...All the best in your decision.

tnks for ur advice sir

Hathor5:
If you think you have a really good girl and you really love her, you will have her back, now that she needs you more than ever before.

I really do love her. Tnks for ur advice

Love thus supersedes if it is genuine. there is always a way round this whole thing.
no karma here but the simple truth is everyone is trying to bring to bear the punishment meant for the father to bear on the daughter.
when you were dating her, coming to your place, bedding her under your parents roof (only if you are not under same roof), they never mind but now that you proposed to her, they realised her dad is evil.
the only exception here is if your parents didn't you were into a relationship with girl for the whole of two years.

This is a hurdle you've to face without a second thought. If you both love eachother and want to be together, then you've to fight for that future.

So do whatever you've to do.
Be defiant and stand by your decision.
Your family will have no choice but to fall in line.

It's your life and yours alone.

In Igbo culture it is important to know the background of the family you are marrying from. Imagine a family with a a history of stealing, madness etc. Believe later in the future if not the children it might be the grand children suffering the same. My advice is you should heed your parents. Mind you marriage is not all about love. Think about the future too.

I have watched a Nigerian movie like this before in early 2000... The family of the guy refused to support the guy.. just like what you are facing now..

The second option in which they chose for him ended up disintegrating all of them. They wanted her out but the guy said no way.. she must remain in the house since she was their choice...

Please don't let people dictate who u should marry.. Because when it will come to their turn, they won't even want your opinion..

Bros see ehn....listen to your parents o.
same thing happened to me....no one spoke well about her dad when my people went for enquiry.
my parents warned me but i was blinded by stupidity & married her....bros i will advice you to heed their warning o before u come back here with stories that touch

Ajilla:
Good morning nairalanders,
I have been unable to sleep for the past few weeks now due to the problem I am facing at the moment.
I proposed to my girlfriend that I av dated for two plus years now and she said yes but my family have refused to support my decision to marry her due to her father's reputation of being diabolical and extremely wicked.
The man in question has been separated from my girl and her mom since she was little(abt 5yrs old). My siblings really love the girl as she is very homely and loves my family the way I do, but ever since I proposed to her, talks abt the spiritual consequences of marrying her has been flying about.
Please I need ur advise, thanks




P.s: we are from the same village and u know in an Igbo community, you have to go to her father's to seek for her hand in marriage irregardless of her parents separation

Your parents are against it because they don't want him to come another world in your children if you marry her

You can't really marry her without the parents permission especially the dad

First find out why the father separated from the mother

I dont understand your folks. Did they think both of you will be playing for ever?Why bring up this issue now?

This is just like calling off an engagement because a man's mother or prophet misyarned.nobody considers the emotions, potential suitors rejected by her cos of you and time wasted not to talk of the open engagement done these days.

She should just leave you ppl. You don't deserve her.

What kind of nonsense is this?
Mtcheww!

LadySarah:
I dont understand your folks. Did they think both of you will be playing for ever?Why bring up this issue now?

This is just like calling off an engagement because a man's mother or prophet misyarned.nobody considers the emotions, potential suitors rejected by her cos of you and time wasted not to talk of the open engagement done these days.

She should just leave you ppl. You don't deserve her.

What kind of nonsense is this?
Mtcheww!

easy now, Aunty!!!

Ajilla:
easy now, Aunty!!!

I'm sorry but she's going to feel very terrible when she hears this.
Your ppl should have said it at the beginning not now.
Omg!

Ajilla:
easy now, Aunty!!!

She's right you know? I have the same thoughts too. It's obvious your family knows about the lady and your relationship with her why did they wait till now before they oppose your marriage plans with her. So two years of the lady's life is gone. That's very unfair! The most painful part is ladies who face such ill luck are always the faithful ones with no back up plans.

Honestly it's very unfair!

Palema007:
So two years of the lady's life is gone. That's very unfair! The most painful part is ladies who face such ill luck are always the faithful ones with no back up plans.
Honestly it's very unfair!

Patron Saint Of Single Ladies

Palema007:
She's right you know? I have the same thoughts too. It's obvious your family knows about the lady and your relationship with her why did they wait till now before they oppose your marriage plans with her. So two years of the lady's life is gone. That's very unfair! The most painful part is ladies who face such ill luck are always the faithful ones with no back up plans.

Honestly it's very unfair!

and when she decides not to put all her eggs in one basket, still wahala.

I'm sure she's still admiring her engagement ring and glossing over asoebi magazines not knowing what's cooking for her.

Let her not just curse them.

Op, are you a believer in CHRIST JESUS ? If yes, take this matter to GOD and HE will solve it for you.