@ Poster am also from Edo state, but i presently live in England with my partner, we are not lazy, far from it, here in England were i live if they send the council tax and the man is not working during that period, and the wife is working, she pays the bill, as the tax bill will then come in her name.
You have to understand that you are there to support him, maybe you are from a rich family, if you are not satisfied you can refused to assist him, then you, him and the kids will move to a single room, may the kids will stop schooling, if i may ask what will you be doing with your money if your husband does all the spending, will you be saving your own cash while he spends his, then after 15 or 20 years you then claim to be rich and say you dont want a poo man anymore.

Hey Leliana, I'm from Edo and from birth I never enjoyed taking anything from a woman .
If I did, I always returned it with interest, whether they asked or not. No matter how rich they've been, I never ever took them for granted.

My parents are both Edo and I've never known my dad to be a taker either. In fact, my mom often accuses him of being too open with the way he gives. I believe this has rubbed on me while growing up.(One of many examples, my dad fully funded the university education of one of my friends just like that).

I guess where I'm going with this is, whatever your husband told you about a [i]takey [/i]Edo culture was really some bull intended to cover up his own slightly self-oriented (or maybe just plain selfish?) nature.

We see it everyday. People play the "culture" card when they do poo, just like a woman in western society would play the "woman" card in a domestic abuse case after having been the one to first assault her husband.

I did not see the first unedited post but I think she is saying that her husband told her something about the culture and she is trying to find out if this is actually the case. They both work and she has said he is not lazy. She feels she should not have to contribute like he expects her to. Many Nigerian women have the same mentality as this one. Maybe her original post was very offensive otherwise I don't see how she has said anything different from what many educated and working Nigerian women would say.

@ poster you said you have children together so it is safe to say that you have been in this relationship for a while. Why is it a problem all of a sudden? The other thing is that you are already comparing your friends marriages to yours. That's a big mistake. It seems you are talking to other people and all of a sudden your husband is not good enough. I personally see absolutely nothing wrong with a 50/50 financial contribution. In fact if you make more then you should contribute more. As long as you have long term financial goals that you both are contributing to and also that no one is taking the other for granted. What is wrong in you contributing to better your own family.

You earn your money, he earns his and you expect him to shoulder everything? So what do you do with your own money?

@ Poster

Am from Edo.
We don;t collect money from our wives to take care of the home. It is the man's responsibility to take care of his home. However, the wife can assist him when the need arises or the wife can support him when his finances are rough.

Is a mutual understanding really.

Thank you very much for the answers
It helped me a lot.

@outstrip: you are right. I shouldn `t compare with other people marriage.
We all make mistakes sometimes

.

I don't know why people are attacking her sha! Her husband was the one who told her that laziness in men was an Edo tradition. Having lived in Benin City all my life, I can't help but agree with that!

Edo men do not have the same orientation about being the major bread winner that tribes like say Igbo do! It's in Edo State that I've seen a woman building a house and then marrying a husband to live with.

Women almost have the same right and responsibilities as men. They sit in at village meetings, make critical decisions and get properties equally when the father dies!

So guys, easy on the lady . . . she does have a point!

Ujujoan:

I don't know why people are attacking her sha! Her husband was the one who told her that laziness in men was an Edo tradition. Having lived in Benin City all my life, I can't help but agree with that!

Edo men do not have the same orientation about being the major bread winner that tribes like say Igbo do! It's in Edo State that I've seen a woman building a house and then marrying a husband to live with.

Women almost have the same right and responsibilities as men. They sit in at village meetings, make critical decisions and get properties equally when the father dies!

So guys, easy on the lady . . . she does have a point!

Pheww
Uju tell me you are joking

chaircover:

. . . . .And I am trying to understand why some men marry airheads

You have just insulted your children and their whole linage by the statement you made above; or are your children not Nigerian. Hope you don't make these kind of statements in front of them.

You needed a whole forum to explain to you that you cannot judge a whole culture by just one man. Even A toddler knows that there are good people and there are bad people.

Anyway I am glad that some people have helped you with the answers that you were looking for and Edo men can now sleep easy again.

Are you minding the he-diot look at the frog calling someone primitive? primitive we are, yes, but she married a primitive man and has primitive kids.

How Dumb and stupid can this woman be?

The poster wants information as to whether Edo men expect their wives to share equal financial responsibility with them. thankfully Edo men have been helping her out.I know alot of Edo people and their women are usually very hardworking and contribute a lot financially to the upkeep of the house.I think your hubby expects you to play that role too.

baby.me:

Pheww
Uju tell me you are joking

I'm not joking oh . . . Ask all these Edo people (if they will tell you the truth)!

andromida:

The poster wants information as to whether Edo men expect their wives to share equal financial responsibility with them. thankfully Edo men have been helping her out.I know alot of Edo people and their women are usually very hardworking and contribute a lot financially to the upkeep of the house.I think your hubby expects you to play that role too.

Aside from the whole financial aspect, Edo women wield a lot of power in Nigeria. Their culture allows that more than any other culture I've seen!

In my village, women don't even join for town/village meetings, but in Benin they do!

This is probably why men see women as their equals and the whole 'head of the home' thing just don't fly around there!

Despite the fact that this poster is incredibly rude and shallow, she does have a point!

jennykadry:

Are you minding the he-diot look at the frog calling someone primitive? primitive we are, yes, but she married a primitive man and has primitive kids.

How Dumb and silly can this woman be?

Don't mind her . . . when she was marrying a man 10 years younger than her out of desperation, she didn't know he was 'primitive'!

chaircover:

. . . .  .And I am trying to understand why some men marry airheads

Cos dumbos like you are busy else where screwing up the white men squeezing out their last penny ! Such stupid women, and they even know to type .Bush rat!

jennykadry:

then go and marry an iranian man and become his 4th wife.

Lol you call nigerians primitive,yet you married one with a huge diickkk, we must be good.

YOUR ENGLISH MIGHT BE THE REASON WHY YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT GIVING YOU MONEY,GO AND LEARN PROPER ENGLISH

no, itz not her English your smelly arsed negro rat! Itz coz all the other negro women were chasing white diiicks since their big diiicked gud-for-nothing- except-scamming negro brodas couldn't provide them with three square meals a day ! He probably couldn't find another blackie and thought of living off another white woman, just like the rest of  his Nigerian brodas and sistas !!

obowunmi:

It is not cultural. Are you saying that the wives of all Iranian men stay home to nurses babies ? What planet are you from, if your husband is from Edo ?

Yeah, they ask their wives to stay at home to nurse babies, unlike nigerians who sent out their wives to sleep around and fetch money for garri and drawsoup !


POster

You should have said you were yoruba or igbo to see their true colors ! You could have seen the real unity of this buggers ! nigerian men can make money only through scamming and their women are nothing but sluts ! they are good for nothing else ! illegal immigrants !!! get out of our countries and then let us see how many of you survive in your glorious country

@andro

I know a lot of Edo men that take care of their wives full time, some of them still believe in a man being the head

Ujujoan:

Aside from the whole financial aspect, Edo women wield a lot of power in Nigeria. Their culture allows that more than any other culture I've seen!

In my village, women don't even join for town/village meetings, but in Benin they do!

This is probably why men see women as their equals and the whole 'head of the home' thing just don't fly around there!

Despite the fact that this poster is incredibly rude and shallow, she does have a point!

Very True.
Posters choice of words did appear rude,maybe cos English is not her language.

Is it just me,or does anyone else feel that Racist is the poster using another ID?

baby.me:

Is it just me,or does anyone else feel that Racist is the poster using another ID?

Lol . , I thought so too oh!

Racist:

Cos dumbos like you are busy else where screwing up the white men squeezing out their last penny ! Such silly women, and they even know to type .Bush rat!

no, itz not her English your smelly arsed negro rat! Itz coz all the other negro women were chasing white diiicks since their big diiicked gud-for-nothing- except-scamming negro brodas couldn't provide them with three square meals a day ! He probably couldn't find another blackie and thought of living off another white woman, just like the rest of his Nigerian brodas and sistas !!



Yeah, they ask their wives to stay at home to nurse babies, unlike nigerians who sent out their wives to sleep around and fetch money for garri and drawsoup !


POster

You should have said you were yoruba or igbo to see their true colors ! You could have seen the real unity of this buggers ! nigerian men can make money only through scamming and their women are nothing but sluts ! they are good for nothing else ! illegal immigrants !!! get out of our countries and then let us see how many of you survive in your glorious country

racist A.K.A Naijafrend what exactly is your problem? such a coward to come up with this id?

Ujujoan:

Lol . , I thought so too oh!

Ujujoan:

Lol . , I thought so too oh!

Lol it's naijafrend

jennykadry:


racist A.K.A Naijafrend what exactly is your problem? such a coward to come up with this id?

Lol it's naijafrend

Detective Jenny!

Ujujoan:

Detective Jenny!

Oga di'ri gi n'ma nne

When someone comes up with a new ID from nowhere and starts insulting you what do you do? check up their IP address and yes it is naijafrend, what a dumb coward

Ujujoan:

I don't know why people are attacking her sha! Her husband was the one who told her that laziness in men was an Edo tradition. Having lived in Benin City all my life, I can't help but agree with that!

Edo men do not have the same orientation about being the major bread winner that tribes like say Igbo do! It's in Edo State that I've seen a woman building a house and then marrying a husband to live with.

Women almost have the same right and responsibilities as men. They sit in at village meetings, make critical decisions and get properties equally when the father dies!

So guys, easy on the lady . . . she does have a point!

.

How can u draw a conclusion that Edo men are lazy cos u lived in Benin City?
Is Benin City the whole of Edo state
Are u not aware that Edo State has over 10 different tribes with different cultures and languages?

Ask questions if some issues are not clear to you, rather than jumping into wrong conclusion and misleading the public on sensitive issue like this.
I make bold to say; that u are VERY wrong. Edo men are not lazy.

dave2:

.

How can u draw a conclusion that Edo men are lazy cos u lived in Benin City?
Is Benin City the whole of Edo state
Are u not aware that Edo State has over 10 different tribes with different cultures and languages?

Ask questions if some issues are not clear to you, rather than jumping into wrong conclusion and misleading the public on sensitive issue like this.
I make bold to say; that u are VERY wrong. Edo men are not lazy.

Okay maybe 'laziness' is not the work . . . 'laid-back' is a better one!

I lived in Benin and had the opportunity to relate with the whole tribes in Edo State oh . . eshan oh, etsako oh e.t.c. The similarities in culture cannot be overlooked.

anyways it's only natural for you to defend your tribe!

jennykadry:

Oga di'ri gi n'ma nne

When someone comes up with a new ID from nowhere and starts insulting you what do you do? check up their IP address and yes it is naijafrend, what a dumb coward

Hmmmn. odika egwu!

But how did u get your wrong information anyway?
How many Edo guys have u dated?

Edo state still has far more than those tribes u have mentioned.
My point is this; don't generalize ok.

dave2:

But how did u get your wrong information anyway?
How many Edo guys have u dated?

Edo state still has far more than those tribes u have mentioned.
My point is this; don't generalize ok.

errrm actually, I don't date non-igbos!

Do you want me to list ALL the tribes in Edo State? I can you know.

The emphasis is on the culture . . . does it give women more responsibility than is obtainable in most Nigerian cultures? Yes!

@Ujujoan.

I say NO and NO again.
It does not give women more responsibility in anyway.
I was born and bred up in my home town in Edo but schooled in other parts of Edo and i never saw where that culture was practiced.

To some extent one may be tempted to agree with you on that from the Benin people culture; but it is absolutely wrong to make a general conclusion cos Benin only constitutes about 10% of the entire Edo state.

oh lordy

armyofone:

oh lordy

Hmm

Wow!

i think mobo or any of his boys can answer the poster to her satisfaction.