I don't allow my past to weigh me down for this
reason i throw my past of me immediately so i
don't even think about it anyday anytime cus i dont
want to align my present with the past so i dont
think my past exist.
i can only do it for reference purposes
@macutie,
well say, i cant offload my past for this reason too

Macutie:

If its something that would affect her, its better u say it soon because if u say it later she wont appreciate it. But if it has to do with you and how u lived your life bla bla bla, you first have to gain her trust then when u are sure she wont fret u can tell her! Cos then u'l just hold each other cry and she'l probably tell u everything would be fine! Be good man

iice:

Word! Not all relationships can sustain skeletons

there is no best time. ever!

my answer is never. from experience. i once told my partner how many ppl i had been with. and the guy told me. NEVER TELL A MAN HOW MANY PPL YOU HAVE BEEN WITH BEFORE HIM. THIS DROVE MY GUY AWAY.

I don't really want to know if how many guys my sweetheart has been with - that's ancient history

but I sure as hell want to know if -

1. she's been married before [native, church, registry, all or any of the above]

2. she has any kids before [dead or alive]

3. she has any criminal convictions

4. she has any problems with her credit history, bad debts, outstanding loans etc

5. she was into aristo

blacklion:

I don't really want to know if how many guys my sweetheart has been with - that's ancient history

but I sure as hell want to know if -

1. she's been married before [native, church, registry, all or any of the above]

2. she has any kids before [dead or alive]

3. she has any criminal convictions

4. she has any problems with her credit history, bad debts, outstanding loans etc

5. she was into aristo

#1 skeletons that kills relationships

On her deathbed. Need fear no backlash cz she can't cause no more pain.

@poster
why will people not let the sleeping dog to lie?
My past is not perfect nor is it bad,its far from my reasons here
But why digging the past,when it's been said dat old things are past away

Well i can only speak of my past if am been asked and this has to do with the level of understanding that already is in existence between the two of us, But the BIG question, are two of us ready to sing the song? cus there is no one without a past here, we all have the good and bad memories of our past
If we have a good understaanding and mind of openness,why not, it's no big deal
But sometimes, some people capitalise on using ur past to hunt u haven told them,(it boomerangs sometimes) it is in this vein i ask,why wont people allow the sleeping dog to lie and get focus to the present. I spk my mind here

Is this secret from the past going to affect your present and future with your new partner? If Yes. . .Then I'd go with ASAP but if no. . . I say what is the point of creating unneccesary drama?

Now, If it does comes out. . . you can always play it off like  "Oh that! I didn't even remember. . .that's how unimportant it is" and if they want to make a big deal about it (especially women with our "Oh I don't think I can trust you anymore, what else are you hiding from me. . .blah, blah, blah" just tell them it's not like you two had a "Confession Day" and you delibarately ommited it, it just never came up and then (this is very important, okay) punctuate it with "It's not like YOU have have told me everything from your past". . .that ought to shut them up in no time. Should you get someone who wants to start a revelation marathon instead of shutting up. . .You're on your own with that one. Sorry.

Good Luck.

NiyiRocks!:

On her deathbed. Need fear no backlash cz she can't cause no more pain.

Tee hee hee.

i think 6month of the relationship

@poster
Must you spill out your life b/c you're in a relationship?
Except keeping mum about your past has the potential of spoiling the affair (like having a child out of wedlock)
Otherwise, let your secret be secret.

opokonwa:

@poster
Must you spill out your life b/c you're in a relationship?
Except keeping mum about your past has the potential of spoiling the affair (like having a child out of wedlock)
Otherwise, let your secret be secret.

u don't mind marrying an ex-aristo or a babe who did time for drugs or 419?


shebi u no go vex after 10 years of marriage, u discover that your wife was once married but never told you before

@cheekee
I agree. The past is gone and forgotten forgiven and don't bring it up. Forgive yourself, forgive others ask God to forgive you. The bible says if any man be in Christ he is a new creatrue. old things are passed away and behold all things are become new. Also As God forgives us and throws our sins, past into the sea of forgetfulness. So be free, move on and live on.
I had an unpleasant past and it doesn't even bother me. If I get married or something like that, I would feel very comfortable not to even mention it to him. I won't and I'm sure it would not affect our relationship in any way.

after getting a Mouth Action!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lakeside:

after getting a Mouth Action!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best post of the day!

Even better is after you chase the girl for donkey months and after all the shakara, the day you finally sleep with her, you now tell her about your kids from previous relationships, your Aristo lifestyle and why it cant stop, that your a terrible smoker and Value your bottle of Stout over anyone else and better still you are or was a confra boy and you have definately snuffed out the life or maimed people before.

It will be a beautiful way to pay back the chick for all her months of playing hard to get!

d best time 2 tell ur partner is at the very beginning, if he or she can cope with the situation, then d relationship will continue but if he or she cannot cope, then both parties will depart which means both are not meant 4 each other.

I really think its beter to have the storm before sunshine, SOME THINGS GET BLOWN AWAY WHILE SOME THINGS STAND FAST, IF HE OR SHE GETS BLOWN AWAY DURING THE STORM THEN I THINK IT WASNT MEANT TO BE, BUT IF HE OR SHE STANDS FAST AND BRACES THE STORM DURIN AND AFTER THE STORM, HMMM DO I SMELL THE WIFT OF FRESH GLORIOUS WIND COUPLED WITH BREAKFAST IN BED FACING THE EARLY RISING SUN IN EACH OTHERS ARMS,
You sef imagine am, think am,

. . .You know what . . .I say . . .Dont Tell.

for me, its good to tell, the timin matters most. not telling can lead to sudden heartbreaks and extremes if ever any secret gets loose.
for someone u intend to be with the rest of your life, i think u should share such.
I shared one with my g/f just after we kissed as in after a very passionate experience, anyway she didn't feel too good but to me, thats the best i could have said such.

you said dat rite^^^^

It's best to drop da bomb shell when things are hottin up and you want to take it to the next level. If he should survive it, he'll stay.

never tell your partner your past. if he or she finds out that is it own problem

never

if he wasn't in the past with me and it doesn't affect our togetherness "today" such as "blacklion's" post (I agree completely with that writer's words - ALL OF THEM) - he will never find out

if it affects our "today" - children, status of credit, education level - tell him everything

we talked about "past bf/gf" and I didn't want to hear it (his past gfs and their activities together) - so we agreed to keep the past in the past (for us both)

After reading most of the post, my own answer is "The best time to tell a spouse a secret is never".
With this you save yourself the stress.

well, its better u tell him after a while

you dont tell on the first date you simply wait for such discussions to come up. I mean you will try to find out about your partner and by asking questions and getting answers you can tell your own experiences too.

In one of the programs (TV), a female death row inmate once said the only reason I am here is because of my confession.

So for peeps who just have to get things off their chest, I say be careful b/c that thing could kill you when it gets out of ur chest.

Well for me my secrets are my secrets the moment i tell one person is ceases to be a secret and if it gets out i don't get upset because if i didn't want Joe blogs to know i would keep my lip sealed.

My answer is NEVER. This is why i try my very best not to do anything i regret or ashamed of. Everything about you should be you,if anyone is going to be with me its warts and all.Take my advice don't have secrets

sista-jay:

It's best to drop da bomb shell when things are hottin up and you want to take it to the next level. If he should survive it, he'll stay.

I love dat sis-J. he'll stay if he's really into you.