The uncomfortable truth is it's very, very difficult. Boys and young men need the validation, approval and guidance of older men.
Girls raised by single mum fared much better as teens and young adults than boys.

This is not a single mum fault . In fact, the stress of raising children alone and dealing with every day stress, abandonment and abuse of the men involved is a enough to break a single mother.

single mum can't get teenage sons what they so desperately needed - a strong male role model - and she can't control them. At age 15, can single mum physically stop boys from going out at odd hours?

The only way I could see it working is if you have a very close extended family, with an attentive grandfather or uncle who steps into a father-like role and is committed to the child.

Girls issues surfaced mostly in romantic relationships. It took a lot of homework to have a healthy relationship.
Single parent families lived in poverty. Single mother can't afford the clubs, sports, camps etc. that might have provided healthy male role models and a sense of belonging, as well as a physical outlet for all that unruly teen boy energy.

In short, growing up without a father is pretty disastrous for boys, and damaging.
These are time tested truth, plain and simple:
You raise the boy to honor his Mother. That means what she says is law.

You raise the boy to honor his Sisters. They represent you.

You raise the boy to honor his Grandmother. She taught his Mother.

You raise the boy to honor his female teachers. They are the eyes, ears and the voice of his mother when she is away. Make sure his teacher reports his behavior to you.
Boys were meant to know the fellowing:
Teach him manners and hold him to those social guidelines. Manners will take you further than a degree in life. They open doors.

Teach him to use his words and not his fists.

Women you are losing it when you allow these weak guys to put you in a family way and abandon you.
If you don't want to submit to a loving man, you have no business raising kid(boys).

It's frustrating seriously, some of them don't know their fathers not because of what their mums must have told them but because of the absence of a male figure in their lives, there are roles designated for each member of the family and when one is lacking in such roles things don't usually go well,so these children who were raised by single mom with the few I've met and known they are unruly, arrogant and reckless,these are issues the father would have dealt with but unfortunately by omission or commission he's absent.

Deborah98:
It's frustrating seriously, some of them don't know their fathers not because of what their mums must have told them but because of the absence of a male figure in their lives, there are roles designated for each member of the family and when one is lacking in such roles things don't usually go well,so these children who were raised by single mom with the few I've met and known they are unruly, arrogant and reckless,these are issues the father would have dealt with but unfortunately by omission or commission he's absent.

. This is a perfect example of nairaland red pill wannabe

Single Mother children:

Daughter=masculine because the mother is harsh on her and because she copies her mother's provider stance. She's a woman but with male energy, attitudes and mindsets.

Son=feminine/effeminate because the mother is too soft on him plus he grows up with zero control of his emotions as he learns from mother to think emotionally like women do. That's why more than 80% of male prisoners are single mother products. Not because the men are criminals but they have poor self control and respond maximally when provoked, offended,tested.

ubunja:
Single Mother children:

Daughter=masculine because the mother is harsh on her and because she copies her mother's provider stance. She's a woman but with male energy, attitudes and mindsets.

Son=feminine/effeminate because the mother is too soft on him plus he grows up with zero control of his emotions as he learns from mother to think emotionally like women do. That's why more than 80% of male prisoners are single mother products. Not because the men are criminals but they have poor self control and respond maximally when provoked, offended,tested.

. First time we agreed and on the same page. Do you know why I am against you? You directly telling guys to make baby mamas. Red pill philosophy is for real men not boys who has no bearing.

sirjamesjnr:
. First time we agreed and on the same page. Do you know why I am against you? You directly telling guys to make baby mamas. Red pill philosophy is for real men not boys who has no bearing.

giving a woman a baby is one of the easiest way to get her invested in you and chasing you. Plus a woman you have a baby with will not deal too roughly with you.

Everything we do is calculated for self preservation.

ubunja:
Single Mother children:

Daughter=masculine because the mother is harsh on her and because she copies her mother's provider stance. She's a woman but with male energy, attitudes and mindsets.

Son=feminine/effeminate because the mother is too soft on him plus he grows up with zero control of his emotions as he learns from mother to think emotionally like women do. That's why more than 80% of male prisoners are single mother products. Not because the men are criminals but they have poor self control and respond maximally when provoked, offended,tested.

Well said

ubunja:
giving a woman a baby is one of the easiest way to get her invested in you and chasing you. Plus a woman you have a baby with will not deal too roughly with you.

Everything we do is calculated for self preservation.

. Do you see what I am against about you? Why should a woman invest in you? If you have issue at one point in time that difference. Irresponsible can't never be a new Norm

ubunja:
giving a woman a baby is one of the easiest way to get her invested in you and chasing you. Plus a woman you have a baby with will not deal too roughly with you.

Everything we do is calculated for self preservation.

Baby that can be aborted, or dumped in a pit latrine once it is born.

So getting a a girl pregnant just to invest in you because you are not up to standard is now the way forward? That's what a swindler does.

Besides, only feminine men want to be chased.

If you are worth investing in, you wont need to put her in the family way. Go and make yourself worth investing in.

sirjamesjnr:
. Do you see what I am against about you? Why should a woman invest in you? If you have issue at one point in time that difference. Irresponsible can't never be a new Norm

what is to be invested in someone?

ubunja:
what is to be invested in someone?

Time, money, emotions and so on.

It varies per individual basis

ubunja:
what is to be invested in someone?

. You talk about time, emotion and care I can understand with you but if it has to do with finance guess you are wrong

Hi.... I was raised by a single mum. I never ever felt I needed the masculine(stern, fierce) presence of a man in our home. I have a sister too by thesame mum and I can tell you, we've been good.
On male children's supposed wayward behaviors, I feel each child who exhibits such is accountable for his actions. Also, women (supposed single mums) varies. Children make women even girls, mothers, it doesn't make them good or bad at being mothers, it only makes them mothers. A lot of women and men should be coached on effective parenting. When there's fault in a parent, the children grow with that fault and it affects them either positively or otherwise.
That's what I feel. Thanks.

FinianIb:
Hi.... I was raised by a single mum. I never ever felt I needed the masculine(stern, fierce) presence of a man in our home. I have a sister too by thesame mum and I can tell you, we've been good.
On male children's supposed wayward behaviors, I feel each child who exhibits such is accountable for his actions. Also, women (supposed single mums) varies. Children make women even girls, mothers, it doesn't make them good or bad at being mothers, it only makes them mothers. A lot of women and men should be coached on effective parenting. When there's fault in a parent, the children grow with that fault and it affects them either positively or otherwise.
That's what I feel. Thanks.

. Thanks your star your mom was like every decent mom out there but the question remain,was it easy raising you, cultivating useful character in you. If your dad where to be in the picture, wouldn't things be better?

sirjamesjnr:
. You talk about time, emotion and care I can understand with you but if it has to do with finance guess you are wrong

what are you even saying??

ubunja:
what are you even saying??

. Real men don't wait put women in a family way so as to invest in them. Make your money and get a decent girl.

sirjamesjnr:
. Thanks your star your mom was like every decent mom out there but the question remain,was it easy raising you, cultivating useful character in you. If your dad where to be in the picture, wouldn't things be better?

1. Was it easy raising and cultivating useful character in you?
No. Even with a man(dad), it's never easy.

2. If your dad where to be in the picture, wouldn't things be better?
I feel things will be financially.

Having a dad is good maybe even better. I understand that, I know the lack of the masculine presence will affect the child(ren) early days, but, it depends on how the mother handles her home. Many single mums are troubled, so they do a lot of things they shouldn't, those things affects the mentality of their children. When a person isn't balanced, mentally or emotionally, he or she cannot nurture up good kids and that's the problem with a lot of single mums and dads out there. You cannot be black and expect to produce white, an orange tree can't produce apples, that's how life works.

It can be painful, cos you will know a whole lot of guys or men who screw your mother...but u can't talk, cos u know from fuvcking ya mother she will get some money to take care of you...Thank God I wasn't raised by a single mom...but I've fvvcked some single moms

FinianIb:


1. Was it easy raising and cultivating useful character in you?
No. Even with a man(dad), it's never easy.

2. If your dad where to be in the picture, wouldn't things be better?
I feel things will be better financially.

. I try to look at NIGERIA society. I discovered we have a lot of dysfunctional family, dead beat fathers and irresponsible folks including women. Hence lack of taking responsibilities and dysfunctional society. I still believe apart from dead of a dad, single parenting is not an option. If you as a lady don't want to be under a man then you have no business raising kid.

NiRfreak:
It can be painful, cos you will know a whole lot of guys or men who screw your mother...but u can't talk, cos u know from fuvcking ya mother she will get some money to take care of you...Thank God I wasn't raised by a single mom...but I've fvvcked some single moms

. Was your dad a deadbeat? Men don't kiss and tell. It takes a good daddy to cultivate a man

sirjamesjnr:
. Was your dad a deadbeat? Men don't kiss and tell. It takes a good daddy to cultivate a man

Ode I wasn't raised by a single mom...I'm just speaking for those who were raised by single mom cos I know they won't be able to admit that their mum was fvvcked by random men

NiRfreak:


Ode I wasn't raised by a single mom...I'm just speaking for those who were raised by single mom cos I know they won't be able to admit that their mum was fvvcked by random men

. Using abusive language, inability to control your temper and emotion are product of a child who was raised by a dead beat dad

sirjamesjnr:
. Real men don't wait put women in a family way so as to invest in them. Make your money and get a decent girl.

lmfao

sirjamesjnr:
. Using abusive language, inability to control your temper and emotion are product of a child who was raised by a dead beat dad

Ode ni e,,,,This is a faceless forum that shouldn't demand political correctness, but I know u are pained cos I said the truth about how single mom are being fvvcked by random men they call bf...And you know it, cos u experienced It as a child raised by a single mom...

ubunja:
lmfao

. It is a philosophy you don't believe in but it is the best way. I need my respect so I don't wait for a woman to invest in me

sirjamesjnr:
. It is a philosophy you don't believe in but it is the best way. I need my respect so I don't wait for a woman to invest in me

have a good life man.

NiRfreak:


Ode ni e,,,,This is a faceless forum that shouldn't demand political correctness, but I know u are pained cos I said the truth about how single mom are being fvvcked by random men they call bf...And you know it, cos u experienced It as a child raised by a single mom...

. I wasn't raised but cultivate by a real man and that why I can't stoop low to be with a pig.
What is the difference between a deadbeat dad and single parenting?

sirjamesjnr:
. I try to look at NIGERIA society. I discovered we have a lot of dysfunctional family, dead beat fathers and irresponsible folks including women. Hence lack of taking responsibilities and dysfunctional society. I still believe apart from dead of a dad, single parenting is not an option. If you as a lady don't want to be under a man then you have no business raising kid.

Circumstances make people single mums and dads. So, due to the fact there's no partner, is that a reason u shouldn't be a good parent? I believe no.

ubunja:
have a good life man.

. I like your red pill movement but you have no respect for proper family, decent ladies, so we can't share a communion. You are interesting person but I just can't roll with you. God bless you with more wisdom.

FinianIb:


Circumstances make people single mums and dads. So, due to the fact there's no partner, is that a reason u shouldn't be a good parent? I believe no.

. If it's no fault of yours like dead, I can understand but if by carelessness of a Randy boy and irresponsible girl then York is on them. Single parenting is not an option for a great society. I raise my case

sirjamesjnr:
. I like your red pill movement but you have no respect for proper family, decent ladies, so we can't share a communion. You are interesting person but I just can't roll with you. God bless you with more wisdom.

have a good life

sirjamesjnr:
. I wasn't raised but cultivate by a real man and that why I can't stoop low to be with a pig.
What is the difference between a deadbeat dad and single parenting?

I know it painful for u...but it's life. take heart