My fellow Nigerians,

It is I, your favourite and kindest head of state in Nigerian history, General Sani Abacha. I can only guess how intensely happy you must feel to be hearing from me again. This truly warms my heart, and for what it’s worth, it is with great pleasure and gladness of heart that I write to you today.

Believe me when I say that I really do miss you. After all, with all the spirits flying around and the occasional demon who keeps trying to torture me for my “sins,” things can get a little boring over here, on the other side. It’s one of the reasons I’m writing to you today.

Another reason is just to reminisce. I cared about Nigeria so much that I made enough effort to make us internationally recognized as one of the most corrupt countries in the world. If this isn’t true love, you really do need to tell me what is.

One of my best memories from our friendly relations was how I made the media keep quiet more often than not. Some haters might have said that it was an arbitrary decision. But, if you really think about it, what’s the real use of the media? I mean, who really cares about monitoring the government the providing a platform for freedom of speech? In my opinion, na just okoto meow bants dem dey always yarn there.

Read the full letter here https://danfoxpress.xyz/an-open-letter-from-general-sani-abacha-to-all-nigerians/