My boyfriend is always working even Sundays and public holidays.

deal with it hun, thats what i will tell u, if that is the nature of his job and contractual agreements. If its just that he is putting in over time, then talk to him about it! and explain how u feel and how it affects both of u, if he cares for u, he should be able and willing to listen and make certain changes

luxoire:

if he cares for u, he should be able and willing to listen and make certain changes

Not always as easy as it sounds.

@Bolarge
where there is a will there is a way, no one said it was going to be easy, but if he is not contractually bound to out in those hours, then he can defenitely make changes if he wants to

Ooooh, I've been there. My ex was a workaholic & it caused many arguements between us! Even when I gave birth to his baby, he went to work the next day. He didn't take ANY time off work to help me out. I have to agree with luxoire, if it's just time that he's putting in himself & he's not actually obliged to do it, I think there's a problem.

I really don't like ladies complaining about the number of hours guys get to put in their work. I do believe a guys work, to a great extent makes a guy whom he is. Moreover, i don't believe a normal person would put in extra hours into work if it's not necessary.

If the guy get to sit at home, some ladies will complain. And believe me, I've met some ladies that complain about their spouses coming home early. I bet a woman's heart is much more complex than their look.

Personally, I love working late. This is simply because I won't have to entertain visits at such hours (they are likely to be on their way home). Also, I love being alone when am about to get down to serious issues pertaining my life and future. I can't really concentrate with all distractions around me.

My advise to guys is to make sure that their prospective spouse shouldn't be among those ladies that whin about long hours. Perhaps, that's one reason I care so much about the lady that's stealing my heart. Professional ladies hardly complain about such stuffs 'cos the know what it takes to be a professional.

@Eire, thank u jarre

@silly
u see ur life!, no body complained about working late, if u work late but start in the afternoon, i aint got a prob with it. my only issue is when we both work so hard, and u dont have to stay late at the office every blessed day, yet u choose to!

i work he works, i sometimes work late, so does he, but if it to work work.we need time together

there is nothing wrong in been a workaholic, my dear all he need right now is ur support not ur nag, he maybe working so hard 4 u guys future {buying a house etc}just give him ur support

i feel guys use it as a disguise to indulge, you never can tell

some guys use it to tell u, he is no longer interested in spending time with u, if thats ur position, then get the hint

@ Luxoire.

Pal how are you? I'm of the opinion that ladies should just try to understand that extra hours should be put to work if necessary. Afterall, the lady will enjoy free hours later on. It's not as is they are planning to separate or something like that. Moreover, I heard retirement could be very boring, so we get to spend all that time together(just kidding). I believe spending some few hours everyday with my hmmm(guess you know) gives me all the happiness and get to recharge my batteries for sometime. If you really care about someone, I believe this issue is going to be trivial.

@ Anabell.

You got everything right.

@poster, if u are not sure about his workaholic story, then get ur fact right b4 confronting him, but if he is really working like he said then i think u should let him be and be there 4 him, cos if in the future he is given a job that takes him out of the country all the time, what would u do then

@Silly. i'm good hun, how r u?
i'm not saying she should nag or anything, i'm just saying working long hours and negleting ur other half isnt going to do u much good, cos u wont have any1 to share it with when ur done!

if ur boyfriend is working hard to provide for a better life, which would benefit u, then u really shouldnt be complaining.
Why dont u both arrange some alone time once in a while, like go watch a movie, go to a restaurant, so that u both feel that u are spending some time together.

@ poster
He's doin it for you o . so that when he eventually gets married to you, there'll be good financial footing for the both of you.
u wouldnt want him to be there full time with you and unable to cater for your needs

if your boyfriend is working hard to provide for a better life, which would benefit u, then u really shouldnt be complaining.
Why don't u both arrange some alone time once in a while, like go watch a movie, go to a restaurant, so that u both feel that u are spending some time together.


@blue_sky, word

you guys are great, i guess i have to stand by him.

@ gollum

Howdy!

have we met b4? are u tall, dark and goodlooking?

@gollum

I am available at Weekends and public holidays.

these are the kind of gurls i hate, so the guy shouldnt meet his own goals got u want more time to do what .? have sex? plzzzzz

MP007
no one is stopping anyone from achieving their goals, heck i know i have got my own life and goals to achieve, but i am also conscious of the fact if i want to settle down with someone, its not all about MY goals and where i want to be, i need to put them and their needs too into perspective, u gotta give a little to gain alot, and sometimes, cutting back on over-time a little bit, can help make a relationship stronger, cos u spend a bit more time together

MP007:

, u want more time to do what .? have sex? plzzzzz

like dats not what u want

sorry.
perhaps its for a while and wldnt always be like that.Give him time to build and stabilize,am sure u will be happier for it in the future.if u guys decide to marry.

anabell:

@poster, if u are not sure about his workaholic story, then get your fact right before confronting him, but if he is really working like he said then i think u should let him be and be there 4 him, because if in the future he is given a job that takes him out of the country all the time, what would u do then

I agree with @anabell to get your fact right finding out why he really like working hard and what is his goals for. Let me share my bad marriage experience with you. I was married by forced whom i don't love---ended up divorce 5 years later. That was 20 years ago due to his workaholic addict, selfish stingy, cruel verbal abuse, no-good father/husband role, HEAVY debt delinquency, marriage neglected and money-spending recklessly.

10 years ago, my ex-husband talked to me face to face confession that he was gambling addict to work so hard having 3 jobs (not necessary) caused him out of control losing evicted apartment, car repossessed, lost friends,  neglecting paying bills and his health is deteriorated. Being obssessing on winning money to make wife happy but he lost lot of money on gambling, lottery, and football pool without my knowledge when we were married. He apologized me for family neglected, selfish himself to be pride that he was rich guy getting attention to everyone (show off expensive luxury apartment that he cannot afford it)---does not know how to be MAN!!! I already forgiven him.

He now is dying, hard time to quit workaholic that he can't live without it. He is sick and very addictive on workaholic.(now one job but work 7 days a week that he suppose to take 2 days paid off and 10 days paid vacation---still he work on 2 days off, weekend, and public holidays). He never change at all.

The more his health deteriorated, numerous of cancer spreading everywhere on his body, because he did not take care of himself, for years years years he slept only 4 hours every nights getting ready to work, he thinks he is ROBOT!!!

It is sadly fact that my ex-husband is still workaholic over 20 years, not have time to see his own children now soon grown adult, just rarely see only on their birthday and Christmas holiday. He lives only 30 minutes driving not far---his favorite lame excuse not able to see his children - - - HIS JOB.

some use their job to get away from their house and patner.

uspry1, your experience is interesting. maybe your ex husband is broke that's why he is always working. and one thing is those who work too much most time don't have anything to show for it. not even happiness  

.

Your boyfriend is always working. Was he not always working when you decided to become his girlfriend. Now after being attracted to him because of the fruits of his hard labor you want to distract hi from it. Why?

Do girls deserve attention? I'm not really sure. Maybe if the girl adds something to your life and isn't a 'parasite'.

I understand what this lady is coming from. I used to work for an IT company when I was in Nigeria in 99/2000. My girlfriend used to complain everytime then. I was a typical workaholic. Worked saturday and even sunday sometimes. Of course I completely forgot about Church.

The truth is that a lot of Nigerian employers dont respect your time especailly if you are single. I used to work as a consultant for one of the big 3 oil companies in Nigeria then and it wasnt just easy on me at all. Yes the money was good but it eventually ruined my relationship then.

It doesnt mean the guy is cheating on you it just mean he doesnt know how to balance work and his personal life - I was an example!

If this is what he did when you met him, then i dont think he would listen if you complained now cause you should be used to it.

If its something you have put up with all this while, then it why are you seeing it as a problem now?

I feel your pain though sweetie, i really do.
But i dont think you can actually do anything about it now - except he wants to change his work hours.

Nagging is not going to teach him how to balance his work and personal life.
If you want to help him to achieve balance, you must do it to help him and not to help yourself.

@Seun, from my marriage experience, nagging, complaining and doing to achieve to help him(the one who is constant workaholic)---even went to attend marriage counseling DOES NOT WORK, because of his hard-headed and refuse to listen me as his wife! He grew up in project/welfare (social security) parent.

Nothing can I make effort the whole 5 years marriage even my parent and his parent tried putting effort the same thing. Not worth dating a guy who is workaholic always working rest of his life!!!! He marries to career, not wife!!!! He is faithful to career, not wife.