good day house,this my first post actually.really need ur sincere help/advise asap.
am a muslim dating a christian gal.am in love wit my galfriend.we planning on getting married soon (mayb next yr most likely).i love her so much.cant do without her.she feels the same way about me too.that am very sure about.
recently the mum found out abt us.and d mum found out that am a muslim.she refused and told my galfriend to stay away from me with immediate effect.the pressure is so much right now she had to lie to d mum that she broke up wit me.
my galfriend called me 2 weeks ago dat she thot abt us and she was  breaking up wit me.i know its nt coming deep down from  her heart.she called me back later in the evening dat she was sorry.it was just d pressure getting to her.she currently in nigeria and am in london.the distance is no problem at all.just d religion issue.i told her whn we c we cld sit down and talk.since we not getting married soon there is plenty time to convince her folks.
although my folks not gonna agree but am willing to go ahead and marry her.not sure if my galfriend is  on the same page as me.shes kinda weak and nt string enough.she said she needs her mum support no matter what.
am worried cuz she calls all d time dat she wanna b wit me.
i love her so much and really confused.dnt knw wht to do as i really wanna marry her.

Well both of you should sit and talk for you to know if she's willing to marry you, no matter the circumstances. then you both can take the bold step, by convincing your parents.

Hmm but i no go easyoooooooo just try.

My brother, i know its good to obey your parents but hmmm, i totally understand, was in your shoes once, i turned from the one i loved because of religion to follow the popular choice of my parents and family, believe me words cant descirbe the pain hurt and misery that brought me. At the end of the day it is your decision, what ever you decide you live with the consequencies, if you marry her, your familymay hate her and give you hell but you will have your true love and beleive me i know that kind of love comes once in a lifetime, if you obey your family, you may make them happy but you will have to live with the hurt and pain. You decide which one is less evil.
It can be crazy how people react to religious differences, I have been there, i understand your pain.

omex12:

good day house,this my first post actually.really need your sincere help/advise asap.
am a muslim dating a christian gal.am in love wit my galfriend.we planning on getting married soon (mayb next yr most likely).i love her so much.cant do without her.she feels the same way about me too.that am very sure about.
recently the mum found out abt us.and d mum found out that am a muslim.she refused and told my galfriend to stay away from me with immediate effect.the pressure is so much right now she had to lie to d mum that she broke up wit me.
my galfriend called me 2 weeks ago dat she thot abt us and she was  breaking up wit me.i know its nt coming deep down from  her heart.she called me back later in the evening dat she was sorry.it was just d pressure getting to her.she currently in nigeria and am in london.the distance is no problem at all.just d religion issue.i told her whn we c we cld sit down and talk.since we not getting married soon there is plenty time to convince her folks.
although my folks not gonna agree but am willing to go ahead and marry her.not sure if my galfriend is  on the same page as me.shes kinda weak and nt string enough.she said she needs her mum support no matter what.
am worried cuz she calls all d time dat she wanna b wit me.
i love her so much and really confused.dnt knw wht to do as i really wanna marry her.

Your post was all abt the babes family bla bla but what  about YOU AND THE GIRL ?
Would that love you sing now be enough  to let the babe hold on to her religious beliefs forever or you wud along the line want or force her to join you?
Do you think that the girl in future won't beg or force you to join her?
What abt the kids?wud they go to mosque on friday and sunday school on sunday?
When this love grows cold,Is there another REAL thing in this relationship that can weather the storm of religious differences?
When religion matters alot to you,its always advised to stick to your own.
The girl has gathered enough courage and sense to suggest moving on,why don't you try it . . .it might not be easy but you Can or just change your faith and marry your "LOVE"

aisha2:

My brother, i know its good to obey your parents but hmmm, i totally understand, was in your shoes once, i turned from the one i loved because of religion to follow the popular choice of my parents and family, believe me words cant descirbe the pain hurt and misery that brought me. At the end of the day it is your decision, what ever you decide you live with the consequencies, if you marry her, your familymay hate her and give you hell but you will have your true love and beleive me i know that kind of love comes once in a lifetime, if you obey your family, you may make them happy but you will have to live with the hurt and pain. You decide which one is less evil.
It can be crazy how people react to religious differences, I have been there, i understand your pain.

Awwwwwwww!

It's well dear!

omex12:

good day house,this my first post actually.really need your sincere help/advise asap.
am a muslim dating a christian gal.am in love wit my galfriend.we planning on getting married soon (mayb next yr most likely).i love her so much.cant do without her.she feels the same way about me too.that am very sure about.
recently the mum found out abt us.and d mum found out that am a muslim.she refused and told my galfriend to stay away from me with immediate effect.the pressure is so much right now she had to lie to d mum that she broke up wit me.
my galfriend called me 2 weeks ago dat she thot abt us and she was breaking up wit me.i know its nt coming deep down from her heart.she called me back later in the evening dat she was sorry.it was just d pressure getting to her.she currently in nigeria and am in london.the distance is no problem at all.just d religion issue.i told her whn we c we cld sit down and talk.since we not getting married soon there is plenty time to convince her folks.
although my folks not gonna agree but am willing to go ahead and marry her.not sure if my galfriend is on the same page as me.shes kinda weak and nt string enough.she said she needs her mum support no matter what.
am worried cuz she calls all d time dat she wanna b wit me.
i love her so much and really confused.dnt knw wht to do as i really wanna marry her.

If you really want to marry her, then go ahead and do just that and face the consequences. The ultimate choice is yours (you and her) to make and I beleive both familes will come around . . . with time!

Ujujoan:

Awwwwwwww!

It's well dear!

Thanks Love, E don dey better. How you dey?

[size=15pt]wow! My prayers are with you. But i believe religion shouldn't stand in the way of love. Stay focused.[/size]

aisha2:

Thanks Love, E don dey better. How you dey?

I'm fine dearie . . .

Its easy 2 talk luv now. What happens wen u bring wife nos 2, 3 n/or 4? Abeg, free d chic n look 4 ur own size.

blank:

Its easy 2 talk luv now. What happens wen u bring wife nos 2, 3 n/or 4? Abeg, free d chic n look 4 your own size.

It really doesn't follow sha . . . I know moslems that are married to just one wife and Christians that are polygamous. What matters is the individual.

But sha, it's better for one to stick to his/her kind!

Ujujoan:

It really doesn't follow sha . . . I know moslems that are married to just one wife and Christians that are polygamous. What matters is the individual.

But sha, it's better for one to stick to his/her kind!

Ones own kind?
Just wondering?
Are we not all the same, created by God after his own image?
God did not invent or create religions that was man`s doing.
Is it not ironical, that mankind builds so many boundaries and warfronts under the pretext of worshipping God.

ifyalways:

Your post was all abt the babes family bla bla but what  about YOU AND THE GIRL ?
Would that love you sing now be enough  to let the babe hold on to her religious beliefs forever or you wud along the line want or force her to join you?
Do you think that the girl in future won't beg or force you to join her?
What abt the kids?wud they go to mosque on friday and sunday school on sunday?
When this love grows cold,Is there another REAL thing in this relationship that can weather the storm of religious differences?
When religion matters alot to you,its always advised to stick to your own.
The girl has gathered enough courage and sense to suggest moving on,why don't you try it . . .it might not be easy but you Can or just change your faith and marry your "LOVE"

The best advice so far. Well done Ify nwa

mutter:

Ones own kind?
Just wondering?
Are we not all the same, created by God after his own image?
God did not invent or create religions that was man`s doing.
Is it not ironical, that mankind builds so many boundaries and warfronts under the pretext of worshipping God.

Your are completely right Mutter . . . but we still can't deny that these 'boundaries' do exist - be it man-made or not. Even though I've seen real life situations where a Christian/Muslim union worked out perfectly well, one can't help but wonder at the principle behind it.

Ujujoan:

Your are completely right Mutter . . . but we still can't deny that these 'boundaries' do exist - be it man-made or not. Even though I've seen real life situations where a Christian/Muslim union worked out perfectly well, one can't help but wonder at the principle behind it.

My sister, the key is in understanding the differences and making it work for you. God doesnt make mistakes, if you find love with someone from a diff religion it is not a mistake but a learning point. However the couple must be willing to make it work and learn to meet each other halfway

aisha2:

My sister, the key is in understanding the differences and making it work for you. God doesnt make mistakes, if you find love with someone from a diff religion it is not a mistake but a learning point. However the couple must be willing to make it work and learn to meet each other halfway

Hmmmn! that's food for thought Aisha. I never really thought about it this way but now that your mentioned it, I agree completely!

This is tricky, You might want to think about it well, I am not supporting the parents and not against them but think am well.

In the moment you are young and love is at its peak You think nothing can come in between, Its either you try to win the parents over or

Cos during marriage you would face challenges and you need some form of support not the "Shebi i warned you not to" talks.

I know a woman who married a Moslem and 12yrs into the marriage the husband suddenly saw God in his dream and became fanatical insisted his wife should cover her head like a Moslem and follow him to Mosque.

They finally had to separate.

We can all say we are human and stuff but its safer to stick with ppl you have a lot of similarities with.

Someone who wont find your speaking in tongues as a sign of madness or someone who wont mock you for banging your head on the floor while praying

.

chaircover:

Dear oh Dear . . . someone has hacked into Dayos account and the person is talking sense

@poster in addition to what dayos hacker has said, have you considered the following

Which religion the children will be brought up in
The type of schools the kids will attend
What you will name the kids and call them by
How the kids will fit in within both sides of the family; will they go to church when they go to visit one set of grandparents and to the mosque when they visit the other side
How you will deal with the "I told you so" when you hit the downs in the marriage
How you will deal with the ongoing cold war between both families

Sometimes love isnt quite enough & when you hit the nitty gritty of mariage you need morethan love to sustain you.

I note that both familes are against the union which makes it even more harder for you because both sides will dig in their heels. When inlaws are at loggerheads, it eventually afects the marriage.

My question is are you prepared to fill in the gap and not only her husband but her, mother, father, sister, and all her other relations?

if you think you have the liver and you both can hack it, then go ahead but if you know that you cant, then maybe its time to let go. sad I know

I wrote that so you can grant my age long request. So how far now?

.

Are you a strong believer?
If you are then your best bet is to go for a lady that practices same religion.

This sort of union only works when one party isn't much of a believer (Talking from own experience).

.

Take a break MR man and think this over. Yes sometimes family can be very annoying but believe me sometimes can also be very useful in marriage.

Men sometimes mess up when they marry a lady whose family's not in support of the marriage, after all who is going to fight for her?

Two things I always say when it comes to marital issues like these

1. Do not rush into marriage when families are against it.

2. Women even if you have issues with your siblings or whatever do not tell your hubby terrible things about them. If he starts looking at them with bad eyes or starts saying negative things about them in your presence, do not get angry or tell him to keep shush ,blame yourself

chaircover:

^^^^^^so long as you promise that I will be iya ile to all your other concubines and I and I alone will have full acess to your wallet.

You promise that your silly 50/50 law will not be used; there fore I bring 0% to the table and you bring 100%

Deliver the X5 and I might put you on the waiting list of my suitors . . . .ps the X5 has to be in black o!

. . . . . . . or was it my aburo that you wanted? I cant even remember . So Please remind me but note that the same rules still apply

You once said you have a friend / sister that I am interested in.

You? No I dont do MILF's

Why wont we do 50-50? Are you saying Men and women are not equal? I thought all we are all equal in everything

So when are you sending the pictures

thanx for all d advice.as per some comments regarding me and d gal.hav spoken to her and we both agreed on sticking to our religions.
me bn a muslim and she stays a xtian.and d kids gonna hav a free hand.choose wateva religion they want to.although its easier said than done.
am so flexible and nt keen on her changing.cuz i cant change and am nt asking her to change as well.cuz she doesnt want to.hav got friends in same situation.as in folks bn intra religion mariage and it actually wrkd.nt in all cases though.
in conclusion,we both wanna b 2gether.each stickkn to them religions and kids havn a free hand.
thanx

.

.

omex12:

thanx for all d advice.as per some comments regarding me and d gal.hav spoken to her and we both agreed on sticking to our religions.
me bn a muslim and she stays a xtian.and d kids gonna hav a free hand.choose wateva religion they want to.although its easier said than done.
am so flexible and nt keen on her changing.cuz i cant change and am nt asking her to change as well.cuz she doesnt want to.hav got friends in same situation.as in folks bn intra religion mariage and it actually wrkd.nt in all cases though.
in conclusion,we both wanna b 2gether.each stickkn to them religions and kids havn a free hand.
thanx

Chaircover hacked into my brain and posted its contents.

It would have been easier if one of you would consider changing. Cos what you are saying now is what ppl normally say when they are heads over heels in love.

Some of the fiercest pastors and Imams you see now were very liberal earlier in life, Some carried babes, drank to stupor and even engaged in criminal activities.

What is to say one of you wont become a fanatic later in life.

I am a xtian by birth but I cant even marry a "Born-again" sister, Now imagine if I was a Moslem and my wife turned "born-again" on me suddenly.

Similary does your wife have any guarantee that you wont turn to a Tebliq tomorrow?

Finally, Can your girlfriend change to Islam? Can you change to Xtianity under any conditon?

In your current state self, Can you stand your wife having night vigil, Speaking in tongues, singing xtian choruses at home? Can your wife stand you praying in the room, Listening to "Waasi" tapes

If neither parents have voiced any concern it would have been better, but at this state, I pray for the best

In practice:
when one partner is fasting the other shows consideration.
One can cook after breaking the fast and the other partner can warm up the food and eat discreetly.
I mean even when we are fasting the kids still get to eat their food. I make sure I just have to warm up during the day so the house does not smell of food.

My kids attend religion classes in school, sing in church choirs and sometimes go to church, yet we raise them as Moslems. The exposure to Christianity is only an advantage and also makes sure that they are raised with tolerance and knowledge of other religions.

@ poster i think it might be safer to agree in which religion the kids are raised while allowing them exposure to the other religion. They may opt for a change later but that helps them to identify themselves.

Unfortunately religion is an issue of you either belong or you do not.

My dear since you said religion isn’t an issue to you but is the only hinderance preventing you from being with the girl you love, and you love her so much; why not convert and become a Christian so that you’ll have her once and for all, and all this family palaver would end because you’re now a Christian.

After all isn’t it the same God we serving? So taking a bold step for the woman you love would be a welcomed development in that relationship.

Goodluck.

Religion issues. I don't understand how one can stop loving someone due to religion. Religion doesn't determine how well someone can cook, it doesn't determine their kindness, etc. I know of similar. I don't have a religion and this guy I know is Christian. We both like each other but the fact that I don't go to church stops him from going any further than friendship. I truly find it ridiculous.

If na me, I would forget the parents. Your parents and her own parents, they've already married. Why they feel the need to stick nose into everything is sad lol, my parents are the same way. I don't plan on listening to them when I'm ready for marriage. They're old and are slowly forgetting that loves knows no boundaries lol. Both of you should follow your hearts. I would much rather make my own choice and blame myself for any repercussions between my new spouse, rather than doing what my parents say and regretting it for the rest of my life. Living a life of regret is no life at all.