jidamsel43:
You don't need to rush to make a hasty decision on this because many 'strange' things happen in a marriage that requires wisdom and patience. I began to realize some things recently when I got married which made me conclude that Marriage is full of strange and peculiar situations. Since my marriage late last year, my tolerance, patience, forbearance have increased. I have been to a point of raising my hand to hit her but I deployed caution and restraint. There is no issue or circumstance in a marriage that surpasses the use of patience and wisdom.

Back to the issue at hand, call your wife and inquire why she decided to embark on the journey without your permission. if she gives you a convincing response, please let it slide down like that. Anybody that tells you to come hard on your wife just wants to destabilize your happy home. If your wife's reason is reasonable to some extent, you have to accept her and just warn her not to take the unilateral decision again.

I have been confronted with issues more serious than this. My wife and I are still together better and stronger. There is no perfect man or woman.

We are just managing ourselves

i want someone like you to be my mentor when I I'm married

kingsolomonjnr01:


You're tribalist... Rip English.
U

Ode. RIP English kee you there. I expressed myself based on observation of the tribe. What is your problem with that?

You are very correct, I appreciate your post.

jidamsel43:
You don't need to rush to make a hasty decision on this because many 'strange' things happen in a marriage that requires wisdom and patience. I began to realize some things recently when I got married which made me conclude that Marriage is full of strange and peculiar situations. Since my marriage late last year, my tolerance, patience, forbearance have increased. I have been to a point of raising my hand to hit her but I deployed caution and restraint. There is no issue or circumstance in a marriage that surpasses the use of patience and wisdom.

Back to the issue at hand, call your wife and inquire why she decided to embark on the journey without your permission. if she gives you a convincing response, please let it slide down like that. Anybody that tells you to come hard on your wife just wants to destabilize your happy home. If your wife's reason is reasonable to some extent, you have to accept her and just warn her not to take the unilateral decision again.

I have been confronted with issues more serious than this. My wife and I are still together better and stronger. There is no perfect man or woman.

We are just managing ourselves

Is nothing to worry about cos if u listen to another married man's story, you will know that yours is minor. So pray for them to be back home safely�

legacystore:


This is a massive disrespect
If u take it for granted then she will hit u with a bigger one.

Thumbs up men. Jah bless. I had tried it had aforetimes and now decided to be a simpleton to get things going smoothly,but the reverse is the case,men the dice is cast. God punish nonsense advise I must nip this at the bud. Thanks for all the advice brotherly and sisterly. I love you all.

Thanks
Obinoscopy
Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Dominique
And all mods on board
Jah bless you all.

After this incidence the following day I had a dream of a dog bitting my hand which implies total betrayal and disloyalty.

I don't trust that woman any longer for my safety,I had earlier reiterated that this has been recurring but I wish to share this particular one. Am good to get leaving my only car for her and the kids

Na see finish the cos this kind story.
I no dey support violence baba but u see eh, women in general need strong hand cos naturally most of them are gullible.
As I dey so even my mama and in-laws dey avoid my wrath talkless of my wife no be say I dey beat person o, me hate see finish.
Just forgive her for this and put ur feet for ground as man if the house to avoid future occurrence.

jidamsel43:
You don't need to rush to make a hasty decision on this because many 'strange' things happen in a marriage that requires wisdom and patience. I began to realize some things recently when I got married which made me conclude that Marriage is full of strange and peculiar situations. Since my marriage late last year, my tolerance, patience, forbearance have increased. I have been to a point of raising my hand to hit her but I deployed caution and restraint. There is no issue or circumstance in a marriage that surpasses

the use of patience and wisdom.

Back to the issue at hand, call your wife and inquire why she decided to embark on the journey without your permission. if she gives you a convincing response, please let it slide down like that. Anybody that tells you to come hard on your wife just wants to destabilize your happy home. If your wife's reason is reasonable to some extent, you have to accept her and just warn her not to take the unilateral decision again.

I have been confronted with issues more serious than this. My wife and I are still together better and stronger. There is no perfect man or woman.

We are just managing ourselves

Bar man give this man one cold bottle of Heineken and Goat meat pepper soup....

Though your wife's approach was wrong and may cast aspersions to the genuineness of that trip, one major reason a woman may act this way is if you, as a husband doesn't allow her to take part in important occasions, festivals, and ceremonies in her own village. Maybe you never attended previous ones with her and won't let her travel alone or with her kids to her maiden village. If that is the case, then you need to readjust and create some time for HER OWN trips. Otherwise, there is more to that trip than meet the eyes.

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

Patience, you need to be patient and look critically at your relationship. Look inwardly and ask yourself sincerely if you have been overbearing, always having the final say irrespective of her arguments. If you can find any fault with the ways you handled things in the past, plz know that your wife wouldn't want to risk not been in her village for the funerals, hence her behaviour.

In another way, because you said she has been doing certain things before, if you got married to a lady who doesn't have regards for nor respect you, you will need God's help in your marriage. Please look for someone who can counsel both of you together, it's well with your home.

My dear friend ....dont fight i repeat just dont say a Word about Other than to do those children DNA. And after just make sure they are yours and the priorities them and you. And let her do her things. Because billions of Women are single. You are too Young for early grave..Those kind of women can kill..

dprincedej:
As you lay your bed, so shall you lay on it. You have over pampered your wife and your in-laws have no regard for you. Is it that you don't communicate everyday? Have you done a very bad thing recently that makes your wife and your family to punish you this way? No matter what has happened in the past, you must put your foot down henceforth. First of all, ask your wife for her reasons and then make sure you ask her immediate family why you were not informed and if they think it is right for your wife to travel without your consent. You have been too soft and you have gotten what you deserve.

The commander himself I hail oh...

Shebi na Shoprite u buy the woman.

Slave master or prison controller, later u will come here to talk bad about buhari how are u different from the man.

That neighbour sha.

Whatever the outcome, please pardon her with strict warning.... We move!

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

She should have informed you; that is the right thing to do as a married person you are accountable to your partner.
But this one you are talking of "your" car and kids, they belong to you both.
Then you also need to check your attitude towards your in laws. A supportive in law will always be carried along. Some get married to women and do not want them attending any function and so on, generally acting like she fell from the sky. Of course your wife will hide things from you.

Bros I will advice you to be cautious enough in a marriage scenario. calling a town hall meeting for your wife in other to sort the misunderstanding out is not the best idea Because onlookers will see it as a weakness. Life is very difficult talk more of marriage. Women are not that easy in a marriage once she has put to bed for you. So I will advice you to let it slide for now. Come home, if you can prepare meal and buy gifts for them. Then have a night chat with your wife and talk it out with her in a cool manner. Probably she will give you a good reason and an apology. Your car is her car.i hope ur a good father and a good husband to your family.

Davash222:
Seun should create a section for married people and their wahala. Una wahala don too much for this forum!

I support..

First of all, I want to apologise on her behalf. She has done too bad. But what I think is that, your Wife know you as a man who don't show understanding for her decisions or feelings. So, she knew you wouldn't approve the journey if she tells you,and she really wants to be at that occasion. We men needs to be flexible in our decision rather than being authoritative at all times. My take !

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

Ever8090:
Bross,.if I vex for you this morning you no go like am,.hunger dey tear people, one onion now is 200 naira, ASU is on strike, Army dey deny say them no kill people for leki gate,bag of rice is 40,000 and Christmas is around the corner only for you to carry burial matter come dey worry us this morning....

Come you no base for this country?...

Just be calming down, abeg!

jidamsel43:
You don't need to rush to make a hasty decision on this because many 'strange' things happen in a marriage that requires wisdom and patience. I began to realize some things recently when I got married which made me conclude that Marriage is full of strange and peculiar situations. Since my marriage late last year, my tolerance, patience, forbearance have increased. I have been to a point of raising my hand to hit her but I deployed caution and restraint. There is no issue or circumstance in a marriage that surpasses the use of patience and wisdom.

Back to the issue at hand, call your wife and inquire why she decided to embark on the journey without your permission. if she gives you a convincing response, please let it slide down like that. Anybody that tells you to come hard on your wife just wants to destabilize your happy home. If your wife's reason is reasonable to some extent, you have to accept her and just warn her not to take the unilateral decision again.

I have been confronted with issues more serious than this. My wife and I are still together better and stronger. There is no perfect man or woman.

We are just managing ourselves

The things I hear about marriage give me chills. I’m a victim of marriage and I come to a conclusion that the stress isn’t worth it. Why is the female gender 90% different from the person they are in a boy/girlfriend relationship when married? Is it too much pride? Overwhelmed of power or misuse of power in marriage?
Get a lady to give you one or two kids without marriage agreement and be happy with life as a man. Marriage is more like a scam with our new age girls

...whatever reply your wife tender behide her reasons to go for burial, pls accept it and make adjustment, don't hit of anger against her. thanks. But on the other hand, you might be more concerned about your children than your wife, 're adress the issue and thing will change for Good. but if not your marriage may colapse.

Just imagine the children coming back with tribal marks or fetish stuff done to them... I shall also be checking the DNA of those children - he works away from home a lot... If you know, you know

The woman will have also known the man she married so why is it the man's fault for the woman's actions? You get married to forge a new life with your partner no hang on to the coat tails of your family - either side.
I don't like travelling too far for functions - simple as that! I will allow certain instances if it is very close families but to go and do owambe 100s of miles away and with the children - not worth it. Also some of those functions just exposes people and their relationships; we are all managing and they are often not progressive at all. No is NO! She is not happy then she should say so and then act accordingly by being stubborn or moving out - subterfuge action is worse! DNA DNA DNA!!!

Not to complicate issues in your head but I think you're not close and conversant enough with your wife's family or rather the woman you're living with(you know all those kind marriage�)
I think you should even verify that particular brother of hers that you confirmed her visit to the village from to avoid CHIOMA AND PERRUZI TYPE OF you know na

Peace man✌�️

Strech:
we that are old school, don't tolerate nonsense from women.her family must come and beg me to take her back..My wife works in an organization that closes around 3, before she gets home it's 1 hour. It happened that a directive came from their Superior to visit a co-worker that just put to bed without prior notice.she went without informing me and came back 6:37. I beat nonsense comot for her body that day and after that send her packing. It took a lot of begging to bring her back. All this Nigeria and American love movies has made our men weaklings . That is the reason for high rate of divorce these days. The question you should be asking yourself why is it that our fathers and forefathers stay long in marraiges?. The answer is simple, our fathers are no nonsense and our mothers know their boundary..

and you're proud that you beat your wife because she home late


your only purpose on Earth na for census

nothing more

@souqwaqif Sorrow what tribe are you are you and the woman you call your spouse?

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger,please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

Though am married for over 4 yeara but this situation is a mysterious one to me.
But in a nutshell...

1. Travel straight to her village and complain to her parents so that they can warn her to never do that again, then drive your family back to base.

2. Make sure you install tracker in her Car so that you can monitor her movements (assuming you have it installed you will surely know what transpired)

3. Install desktop Phone in your house so that you can call and talk with your kids at anytime you wish (with that phone you may know wether they are at home or not)

gbagyiza:


I am over 10 years in that institution n there r many people that r above that n also below it but I tell u the above advice is one of the best for you. This behaviour is more peculiar to our Christian women than the Muslim counterpart. I don't know what is given our women that courage, it is absolutely wrong.

The woman's family sees your relationship with their daughter as 'friendship not marriage'
All the money they collected as dowry from you was scam Some Igbo families in collaboration with daughters perpetrate this evil especially when a man isn't from their tribe
If this woman in question Igbo get a friend outside their family at their village to educate you